Out of Time
by SiriusFan13
Summary: COMPLETE! During a trip to Kyoto with his friends, Himura Kenshin winds up in deep water... thirteen years in the past. How will Kenshin deal with the Revolution again? And how will his friends deal with Battousai, who has traded places with him? R&R!
1. Deep Water

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing _Ruroken_ or _Samurai X_, but I'm having a lot of fun writing this and pretending I do!

_Author's Note: I've added a glossary of terms to the end of the chapter. Check it out if you don't know some of the terms I use, or are trying to read this story while being unfamiliar with the Rurouni Kenshin universe!_

* * *

**Out of Time **

_**Chapter 1: Deep Water**_

_Kyoto—1865 _

The streets were black. What little light the moon provided only served to spread shadows and add to the danger of the night. No one was foolish enough to wander the streets of Kyoto alone, especially after sunset. Unless you were a hitokiri. Or perhaps one of the Shinsengumi. But tonight, a young, dark-haired boy was out. A person would have to have a death wish to wander as he did. This blood-splattered boy did have a death wish. A week ago he'd lost everything. And now, he stood on a bridge, planning on ending the little he had left. Not expecting someone else to be out who had also recently lost everything.

The boy climbed onto the railing and sat there, trying to decide if the fall would kill him. The last one hadn't. At times like this, it didn't pay to have a hard head.

It was several minutes before he heard a soft voice from the shadows. "Are you going to jump or just look at the moon?"

The boy started, almost losing his balance. He reflexively caught himself, and turned to see a teenage boy quietly approach, his face in shadow. The teenager walked onto the bridge and stood beside him. The newcomer wore swords. A samurai then? A hopeful thought struck him. A hitokiri maybe. No. If it were a hitokiri, he'd already be dead.

"Just trying to decide if it's deep enough to drown."

The swordsman didn't look at him, but leaned against the railing. "I'm sure it is. I've come here often lately, thinking the same thing."

The boy watched the quiet young man. It was so peaceful. The two standing on a bridge, watching the moon. He could almost believe there was no revolution. No one out destroying lives.

Except that they were discussing suicide.

"But you're still alive."

"Yes. Someone died to save me. Someone I cared about. And I realize, every time I come here, that death would be too easy. Especially when others have spent their lives to save mine." The swordsman paused. "It's happened twice now. The first time, I had someone to help me through it. This time, I'm alone."

The boy watched him talk. It was too dark to make out his features, but he got the impression that this swordsman was different. He could hear the hollowness in the young man's voice. This was someone who understood.

The boy nodded. "Same here. But now that he's dead… I _don't_ have anybody. I'm nothing."

The man sighed. "That may be true. But you're enough to remind me why I have to walk off of this bridge." He looked up at the moon. "They're watching me. I made an oath to them that I would live. I can't break it."

"I made no oath. I have no reason."

"Then maybe you should find your reason. Before you die, find out if there's a reason to live."

The boy seemed to think about it. "Maybe. I guess waiting one more night wouldn't hurt. Maybe the captain would want that." The boy shifted his position to get back off the railing, but he was still off balance from when he'd almost fallen, and this time, when he slipped, he couldn't catch himself.

The swordsman's reaction was instantaneous, but it wasn't quite quick enough to catch the child as he fell. Without thinking, without even dropping his swords, the young man leapt over the rail and dove into the water. He wasn't going to let this boy die. It had been too amazing a feeling to be protecting life for a change instead of taking it.

The water was icy cold, and was a terrible shock to the young man's body. It was winter, and he should have expected the temperature, but he was in such a hurry he hadn't even thought to brace himself. The sudden shock of cold made him gasp, and he inhaled a lot of water. His eyes grew hazy as things started going black.

* * *

_Kyoto—1878_

Sano shivered as he and Kenshin walked from the small town back to Kyoto. He felt like they'd been walking for hours, and they were only just reaching the bridges at the outskirts of the city. The sooner they got home, the better, as far as he was concerned. It was freezing, and they were crazy to be out now when they could be warm and comfortable in the Aoi-ya. Not that Kenshin had _made_ him come. Sano had just tagged along to get away from Yahiko and Kaoru.

But in spite of the cold, he was starting to think that it was a good thing he _had_ joined the Rurouni. Coming to Kyoto was always hard on Kenshin, but this time it seemed worse. Tonight, Sano had caught him getting pulled into his past for minutes at a time. The ex-hitokiri's eyes would darken, and Sano could see that for a moment here or there, he was traveling with Battousai, not the rurouni. It was creepy, especially since that shouldn't happen to him anymore. The fighter snorted. Yes, it was _definitely _good that he was the one who'd come. The others would have panicked. Sano seemed to be the only one who really understood that rurouni or hitokiri, Kenshin was always Kenshin. Maybe the revolution tied them together that way. Still, Sano found that keeping Kenshin talking while they traveled helped keep him in the present, and that was easier on his friend. Sano scowled. But it was hard to keep talking when he was so cold. "Kenshin, remind me again why we had to go out _tonight_ to buy stuff?" he griped.

Kenshin, who seemed untouched by the frigid temperature, walked calmly beside him. He smiled up at the tall fighter. "Because I plan on visiting Shishou tomorrow, and the last time I visited, he insisted I bring a souvenir instead of trouble."

Sano's teeth chattered as he tried to snuggle up and get more heat out of his clothes. "Souvenir? Who asks for a souvenir? And who calls sake a souvenir, anyway?"

Kenshin laughed easily. "You don't know Shishou." He sighed, a little smile on his face. "And I guess I can't blame him. No one visits him unless they have a problem."

Sano boxed Kenshin's ears, causing the small redhead to go swirly-eyed for a moment. "News for you Kenshin. Your shishou is antisocial and _chose_ to live that way. It isn't your job to make up for it. And it _definitely _isn't your job to buy sake four miles out of town, just because Hiko Seijuro likes _that_ sake better than the stuff made in Kyoto."

"But Sano," Kenshin said, in a shaky voice, still staggering a bit from the blow. "It isn't much of a gift to bring something the person doesn't want, that it is not."

"He said souvenir, not gift. Souvenirs are never any good," Sano muttered. He wrapped his clothes around him tighter. "Hey, Kenshin. Aren't you cold?"

The smaller man looked up at him in surprise. "I guess."

"Well, you don't look at it."

Kenshin just shrugged. "I spent a lot of time in Kyoto during the revolution. In my job, I couldn't wear anything heavy that would slow me, so I had to get used to cold winters."

"That was ten years ago, Kenshin. You were just a kid!"

His friend looked amused. "Ten years ago, I was your age, that I was."

Sano blinked at him. He'd never realized that before, but he wasn't going to let Kenshin win that easily. "That's not the point. You were younger back then, so your body could take the cold better."

Kenshin smiled faintly. "So, you're saying I'm old now?"

Sano's glared at him, knowing full well that Kenshin had intentionally misunderstood. "No you're not old," he said through gritted teeth, "but you aren't used to it anymore. You're gonna get sick, and the Fox Lady's gonna blame me."

Kenshin laughed and didn't reply.

They were crossing one of the bridges when the moon finally came out from behind a large cloud and brightened their path.

Sano forgot both the argument and the cold for a moment to stop and stare. "Man, look at that moon. It's really bright tonight." He leaned against the railing and looked out over the water. "You can see for miles." Sano hopped onto the railing to get a better view.

"Get down, Sanosuke. That is dangerous. You could fall in, that you most certainly could. And then _you_ would be the one Megumi-dono has to take care of."

Sano completely ignored him, slowly standing on the rail, and beginning to walk, his arms out for balance. "I remember doing this as a kid. We used to walk bridge rails for kicks when I was really little. You ever do stuff like that?"

"No."

Sano snorted. "Come on, Kenshin. Didn't you ever play or anything? Even before you became Battousai?"

Kenshin ignored the question. "Sano, please get down. I do not like this, that I do not," he said, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "You're going to fall." He was tensing up, not sure why. Something was wrong.

Sano laughed. "You worry too much, Kenshin. I'm not going to drown, even if I do fall."

But Kenshin wasn't listening. Something had made him freeze in his tracks. His violet eyes had narrowed and darkened to deep blue as they had each time he'd become deeply lost in thoughts of the past. He remembered this particular bridge, now. The little boy sitting on the rail, while they'd discussed the pros and cons of jumping. And suddenly he remembered how that conversation had ended. "No!" Kenshin shot toward the rail, lost in the past, as once again, he saw the boy fall to his death.

"Kenshin?" Sano's eyes widened as he saw his friend suddenly slip into a memory as he had earlier. But those times had been harmless, and Kenshin had laughed them off. This time, he was about to go over the rail for who knew what reason. Sano tried to twist and grab his friend, but the rail wasn't the greatest place in the world to try to maneuver oneself in the first place. And he hadn't expected Kenshin snap out of it and stop before jumping. By the time Sano realized Kenshin was okay, he had already grabbed his friend's gi. It was too late to stop his own momentum, and Sano wound up falling, dragging a surprised Kenshin over the rail with him into the cold river.

Sano lost his grip on Kenshin when he hit the water. It was so cold, and he could feel his hands and feet already going numb, making it hard to swim back to the surface. So, maybe Kenshin was right. He shouldn't have messed around on the bridge. If the river hadn't been so calm, he probably _would _have drowned. Sano broke the surface, gasping for air. He tried to wipe the water from his eyes while still treading water, but his legs were numbing. He was going to go back under if he didn't get out soon. Sano looked around. Where was Kenshin? Not in the river by the looks of it. Knowing him, he probably hadn't even felt the cold and just swam to shore. But even as Sano's eyes scanned the land, he knew the rurouni would never have left him. "Kenshin!" He hollered.

Nothing.

"Kenshin! Where are you?"

Finally, a ways away, he heard someone break the surface. Sano turned in relief to see red hair. "Kenshin! Thank god."

He swam over just as the rurouni started slipping under again. He wasn't completely conscious. "Come on, buddy," Sano said, catching his friend's arm and pulling him toward the shore. When they finally reached land, the dark-haired fighter dropped the redhead onto the grass. It didn't seem like Kenshin was breathing. "Damn," Sano swore, realizing that Kenshin had inhaled water. Sano immediately began pressing on his chest, trying to force the water out. "Come on, Kenshin."

Finally, the smaller man sat up, coughing up water. Sano leaned back in relief as his friend began gasping for air. "Don't do that to me. I thought you were dead." He glanced over at the rurouni, and froze.

Kenshin's wet hair was out of its ponytail and spilled out over his dark blue gi and his face. He hadn't looked up at Sano, but was already standing, tense, with his hand on his sword hilt. His second scabbard was empty.

Second scabbard? Sano had the oddest feeling that he shouldn't make any sudden movements. "Kenshin?"

"Who are you?" Kenshin's voice was low and dangerous. Other than his narrowed dark blue eyes, his face was an expressionless mask. "Where is the boy?"

"Ken—"

"I'm not known for patience."

"Since when? Kenshin, what's gotten into you?" He moved to stand.

Kenshin was gone. Sano hadn't even seen him move, but suddenly he felt a blade against the side of his neck, and a low voice saying into his ear, "Don't move. I don't want to kill you, but I _will_ hurt you if you move."

A thin trickle of blood made its way down Sano's neck. That was no sakabatou. It was a regular katana. But Kenshin wouldn't carry that…" His eyes widened, as things started falling into place, making no sense at all. The extra scabbard, the dark gi, the katana… the deadly voice. "Battousai," he whispered, not understanding.

"You know me." His voice was flat. "And you know my name. Who are you?"

"Sagara Sanosuke," Sano replied.

"You aren't one of the Shinsengumi," Battousai said. "And you're no hitokiri." The pressure of the blade finally eased as Battousai moved back into Sano's line of vision, his sword still ready. "Why are you out? Do you _want_ to die?"

Sano rubbed his neck. The cut had already stopped bleeding. Battousai had been making a point, not trying to hurt him. Sano realized that truth was probably the best answer for now. "I was with a friend. We were buying sake."

Battousai's eyes narrowed further. "I am to believe that you would buy sake in Kyoto at _night_? I ask again, do you have a death wish?"

"I can take care of myself," Sano said.

"I could tell. Where is this friend of yours?"

Sano froze, his brown eyes widening. _"Damn, that was right. If this wasn't just Kenshin spacing out… if this was the real Battousai… then where was Kenshin?"_ He turned to look at the river. There wasn't even a ripple.

Battousai seemed to understand Sano's expression. His voice was low, and if Sano hadn't known better, he'd have sworn it sounded a little apologetic. "If he hasn't come out by now, he isn't going to. Neither of them are."

"Neither?"

Battousai shook his head. "Forget it." His eyes hardened again. "You shouldn't have seen me. I need to report this. Go home before you get yourself killed." He finally sheathed his sword.

"Kenshin?"

Battousai tensed at the sound of his name and stopped but didn't turn back.

Sano took that as an invitation to finish. He closed his eyes and jumped in, hoping Battousai wouldn't kill him. "Do you have any idea where you are?"

"Kyoto." The voice was flat.

"Do you know _when_?"

"I would suggest seeing a doctor, Sagara Sanosuke," he replied before walking toward the city.

Sano watched him for a moment. Then looked back toward the water, hoping that somehow Kenshin was okay. The fighter sighed, and stood, muttering, "I _must_ have a death wish," before following Battousai.

* * *

___Author's Note 2: I hope you liked chapter one of "_Out of Time."_ Thank you so much for reading. I'm aware that this is a weird story, so please review. I'd love to know what you think!_


	2. Realization

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 2: Realization**_

_1865_

Kenshin broke the surface of the water, coughing. He quickly looked around for Sanosuke, and when he saw that his friend wasn't above water, immediately began to worry. This was cold even for him, and Sano had been freezing just in the open air. Kenshin dived under and tried to look for his friend, but there was nothing. It was too black to see. He came up for air again, and looked around. This time he saw what appeared to be someone floating in the water.

"Sano," he whispered. He began swimming toward the figure. Even when he was only halfway there, he could tell this wasn't his friend. It was a young boy. Kenshin shivered, more from the coincidence than the cold. _Wasn't that the reason they'd wound up down here in the first place? Because he'd flashed back to that boy drowning? Was he hallucinating now?_

Hallucination or not, Kenshin had no way to find Sano, and this boy needed help. Quickly, he finished swimming over, put an arm around the boy's waist, and swam to the shoreline. To Kenshin's relief the boy was alive, already starting to cough and sputter as soon as there was land under him. He tried to sit up.

Kenshin gently held him down. "You should stay still for a moment and catch your breath," he said, "that you should."

The boy's eyes opened and he looked at Kenshin. "You're that swordsman," he murmured. Then he blinked a couple of times before shaking his head. "But you look different." The boy was starting to shiver badly, and his teeth were chattering.

Kenshin just stared at him for a moment before asking, "Are you alright? You should get home to your family. Get warm."

The boy wouldn't make eye contact with him. "I don't have anyone left here. You know that. That's why I was gonna…" He trailed off and looked away.

Kenshin just stared at the boy, worry starting to eat away at him. Something wasn't right here.

The boy stood, and this time Kenshin didn't try to stop him. This was the same boy from his memory. The same bridge. Kenshin looked up at the moon and paled. _"What is happening to me?"_ he wondered. The moon had been full when Sano had pointed it out. Now it was suddenly a crescent? He closed his eyes and held his head. This had never happened to him before. Even when he'd faced Saito and his mind had drawn him into a battle from the revolution, he'd never started seeing the world change around him. Had the strain of trying to control his darker side finally caused him to snap?

Kenshin squeezed his eyes shut and willed it away. This wasn't possible. When he opened his eyes, nothing had changed. Same bridge, same moon. But now the boy was gone. And Sanosuke was still missing. He sat for several minutes, unsure of what to do. For the first time in ages, Kenshin was truly afraid, but not for the ordinary reasons. He knew the dangers of the streets of Revolutionary Kyoto. But, also, although it had been over a decade, he still knew how to disappear into the night. No, it wasn't death he was afraid of. It was Kyoto itself. It was the hitokiri inside of him that would relish at this turn of events if given even the slightest chance. It was the fact that he very well may have finally gone crazy. Because how else did one fall into a river, and then come out over a decade earlier? Had suppressing the killer finally pushed him over the edge? If that were the case, then let the Shinsengumi come. It was better to die here than live and be a danger to everyone…

He looked back up at the moon for a long moment before standing. No. It was this thinking that had almost forced his shishou to destroy him. There was always a reason to live. As long as he could remember that, the killer would sleep. Kaoru, Yahiko, Sano and Megumi. They were his reasons. As was his oath to Sakura, Akane and Kasumi… and to Tomoe.

Then another wave of fear washed over Kenshin, as realization struck. _How far back had he gone? Was she… could he stop himself…?_ Kenshin sprang to his feet. He had to figure out what exactly was going on. Because if he really _had_ somehow gone back in time, maybe there was a reason… He began to run, taking only a moment to be sure that his sakabatou was still at his side. Now, more than ever, it was vital that he carried that sword. He'd need to be able to defend _himself_ for a change. And with a regular katana, here of all places, it would be too easy to kill.

Back up near the bridge, he paused, trying to decide where to go. If he entered the city, he risked meeting up with the Shinsengumi, or even some of the Ishin-shishi, which would lead him back to Katsura-san, and possibly his younger self. Kenshin shivered. He wasn't sure if he could face the young Battousai. He had a hard enough time facing himself now. He looked around. Of course, if he stayed here much longer, he was risking the same results. That left only one option… and it really didn't please him any better. Kenshin sighed, and began running toward the woods. A worried smile played at the rurouni's lips. _I'm sorry, Shishou, that I am. It looks like I will once again be bringing my troubles to you instead of your souvenir...

* * *

_

_1879_

Sano trailed behind the hitokiri as closely as he dared. He remembered firsthand Kenshin's ability to read distant ki, and he wasn't sure where Battousai's skills lay. According to oldrevolutionaries like Saito and Okubo, his skills had been stronger… more impressive. According to Kenshin, they were simply more deadly. Sano had never known his friend to lie. He kept his distance.

Battousai was becoming agitated. That much Sano could tell. It was late, and the streets were deserted, but even in this lonely dark, it was obvious that this wasn't the Kyoto Battousai had expected. At first, the young man had kept to the shadows completely, making it almost impossible for Sano to keep track of him, but as things looked more and more unfamiliar, Battousai's actions had become irregular. Finally, he stopped in front of an old, run-down inn. Clearly it was deserted, and for the first time since Sano had pulled him out of the water, the young man seemed uncertain, hesitating just outside of the door as though afraid of what he may or may not see inside. After another moment's hesitation, he finally went in.

Sano waited a minute before following.

He should have waited longer. Battousai stood in the center of the room staring around in horror. Old newspapers and dead leaves littered the inside of the inn. It didn't seem to have been abandoned too long, maybe a year at most, but for someone who had probably just seen this place bustling with activity a few hours earlier, it had to be terrifying, and Sano couldn't help but feel bad for the young man. The sudden shift in Sano's ki managed to break through Battousai's confused thoughts and he spun on Sano.

Before Sanosuke could even move, the katana was drawn, and Battousai was bearing down on him. He recognized the Ryu Tsui Sen immediately, and the only thing that saved him was his familiarity with Kenshin's moves. Sano managed to dodge the attack at the last moment and roll into the shadows, not that he really believed that darkness could hide him from a hitokiri.

Oddly, Battousai didn't strike a second time, but his narrowed eyes held a dangerous, almost desperate glint as he stared through the darkness directly into Sano's own eyes. "You're a spy, then," he said, his voice as hard and cold as his blade. "Where are the Ishin-shishi? Where is Katsura-san?"

It took Sano a moment to realize that Battousai was talking to him and not killing him. His breathing regulated a bit, but his heart was still racing. Normally a good fight brought adrenaline. But this was suicide. "Kenshin…" he started. "I'm not a spy!"

Battousai slowly sheathed his sword, and Sano breathed a sigh of relief. Until he realized that the hitokiri had only changed stances. "The hell you aren't," Battousai said softly, readying himself for a Battou-jutsu attack. "I will ask you one final time, and then I'm afraid I will have to kill you. Where is Katsura-san?"

Sano winced. "He's dead, Kenshin. He's been dead for almost six months now."

"You're lying!" Battousai's attack was even faster this time, and Sano barely managed to get out with a shoulder wound.

"Kenshin, listen to me!" he yelled, trying to get through to him. "It isn't the revolution anymore. I don't know when you came out of, or how you got here, but it'sMeiji and the fighting is over."

Battousai didn't answer, but his attack was slower, and Sano managed to dodge it. _He hesitated,_ Sano realized. He hadn't expected it, but Battousai actually seemed to be considering his words.

Sano took advantage of that fact. "The revolution ended over a decade ago."

Kenshin didn't strike again, but was clearly preparing to do so. Only an intense internal struggle seemed to be keeping the attack at bay.

"I know it sounds crazy. Hell, I thought _I'd_ gone crazy when I realized who you are, but it's true. If you don't believe me, look down. The newspaper at your feet. Read the date." For a moment, Sano was afraid Battousai would refuse and just kill him as a spy, but finally the young man bent, and picked up the paper, his sword hand still ready to draw his blade if the need be. Sano didn't move a muscle. He hardly breathed, just watching the young man. So, this was hitokiri Battousai. This was what Kenshin had been. The gentle man he knew had been terrifying once. And so far, Sano had only faced him when the boy was confused and hesitant. Sano shuddered to think what he would have been like otherwise. For once he had to agree with Saito Hajime. The rurouni wasn't what he once had been. But unlike Saito, Sanosuke found that realization to be a great comfort.

The paper slipped from Battousai's hands and gracefully spilled onto the floor. His face was still in shadow, and Sano couldn't read his expression, but he understood. Everything seemed to have gone out of the hitokiri. His shoulders fell and he released the sheathed katana, allowing his hand to drop to his side. He looked around again, really seeing the inside of the inn for the first time. No one had been there for ages. He walked slowly around the room, staring at it, running his hand across the wall, finally taking in the changes. He stopped near Sano, pressing his fingers onto a faded scar in the wood. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "I did this last night. A spy entered the inn, and I had to kill him. The blood was everywhere. Okami couldn't get it out." He touched a rust colored spot near the gash. "The blood is still here, but it's faded so much. I guess time can wash some of the blood away…" He trailed off.

There was a long pause before Kenshin continued. "Katsura-san is dead?" For the first time, he looked up at Sano. His face was still unreadable, but his voice was finally betraying emotion.

Sano nodded. "I'm sorry, Kenshin. I know he was your commander. Was he also your friend?" A hard question for Sano to ask. It had never occurred to him that Kenshin had to deal with Katsura's death just as Sano had grieved for Captain Sagara.

"He understands… understood," Battousai replied, shortly. He paused. "Over a decade? Then Battousai must be gone as well. I don't belong in this era." He leaned with his back against the wall, his hand still touching the faded cut in the wood.

"Kenshin…"

"Why do you call me that?"

Sano blinked at him. "It's your name, right?"

"It is the name I was given. But no one calls me that. I am Battousai. Hitokiri Battousai. Himura Battousai. No one calls me Kenshin. No one has in a long time."

Sano didn't respond right away. It had been easier understanding this man when they'd been fighting. "I know you as Himura Kenshin. You asked me not to call you Battousai."

"I asked you…" The youth sounded as though he were trying the words out. He couldn't seem to comprehend this. "I'm still alive? And I asked you… And… you agreed. You don't call me Battousai… in this era…"

Sano looked at the boy next to him. They were the same age, but this Kenshin suddenly looked so young. Like a child who had just woken from a nightmare, and still didn't trust that he was truly awake.

"Meiji," Sano said. "The Meiji era."

"Meiji."

"Kenshin?"

Battousai looked at him. "And you use a familiar tone with me? Have I known you long?" He sounded so confused.

Sano stared at him. "We're friends. That's all."

"Friends."

Sano didn't like the way he had repeated that word as though it were as foreign as "Meiji."

"You shouldn't call me 'Kenshin,'" Battousai said. "'Kenshin' is the name given to a swordsman. A murderer shouldn't bear that name. I am Battousai. Himura Battousai. I'm sorry, Sagara Sanosuke, but I don't know you."

"I won't call you Battousai," Sano growled. "We're friends because you _aren't_ Battousai anymore. I can't call you that."

"You have a grudge against me." Oddly, Battousai seemed more comfortable with that than the idea of friendship.

Sano shook his head. "I have a grudge against the Meiji government. I have a grudge against the Ishin-shishi. I have a grudge against the people who betrayed us and killed Captain—" He broke off, realizing that Battousai didn't need more baggage to deal with. "It isn't you. It's the name Battousai. What it stands for. That's all."

Battousai was watching him critically. "I see. Now it makes sense," he said softly.

Sano looked at him, unsure if he liked Battousai's tone. "What makes sense?"

"The brand on your back. The name Sagara. You're part of the Sekihou-tai."

Sano tensed, knowing full well the lies people had told of the captain and his army. "I didn't realize that even the hitokiri knew—"

"Everyone knows now," Battousai cut in. "I've heard Katsura-san talk. When you don't say much, you hear more. He wasn't happy with the way the Sekihou-tai was treated. I know little about it, but I know enough." His eyes narrowed dangerously. "Your army was used by the Ishin-shihi. I know what it feels like to be used by them." If possible, his eyes grew even colder in his stony mask. "Another reason I can't believe I will live to see Meiji."

"Of course you live. They wouldn't dare try to get rid of you. You're not like—" He broke off again, realizing how close he'd come to saying Shishio Makoto's name. Sanosuke may not have always been credited with having the most brains, but even _he_ realized that some things should remain unsaid. "Like us…" he finished feebly. "They wouldn't kill you like they killed us."

Something closed behind Battousai's eyes, and the few minutes of talking were over. The hitokiri had taken control again, and the confused boy had been suppressed. "I must find a way back. I can't stay here."

"Doesn't look like you have much of a choice right now. You can't just go wandering around Kyoto with that katana. Not with the sword ban."

"Sword ban?" Automatically, Battousai clutched his weapon. "I don't belong here. I have to go." He looked confused again, although this time, Sano noticed that there was something unsteady about him as well.

"Kenshin?" he asked. "Are you alright?"

Battousai didn't answer, but he was pale. He backed away. Between the damage the river had done to him, and now his confused mental state, Battousai's body finally gave out on him, and the young man collapsed.

* * *

_Author's Note: Wow! I didn't expect to get so many reviews from only my first chapter! I'm so glad to hear that this story has people's interest! And I love to hear some of you already guessing at what is to come! Even better! I hope it continues to live up to the expectations! Thank you so much for reading, and please continue to review!_


	3. Encounters

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 3: Encounters**_

_1865_

Kenshin burst into the clearing and stopped. It was just as he'd remembered it. He hadn't realized how little his shishou had changed things until now. The only difference was that the kiln was missing, and there was a small garden to the side. He slowly walked to the edge of the shadows, mesmerized by the sight. He could remember training here. Learning to garden over there. Listening to Shishou recount the past right there. Many of the memories weren't so comforting. Shishou was a hard and demanding man. But he was the closest thing Kenshin had to memories of a father. Hiko had taught him how to live. Not just survive, although he'd learnt that as well, but to actually _live_ and appreciate life. Kenshin winced, realizing now how his acts as an assassin must have looked to his shishou.

Out of nowhere, a quiet voice spoke. "Have I finally made myself worthy enough to be Hitokiri Battousai's target?" The ever-present sarcasm and arrogance were clear, but for the first time Kenshin noticed how harsh the cynicism sounded in such a young voice.

Kenshin turned to see his Shishou sitting on a log, not far from the small shack. As usual, there was a jug of sake in his hand. That, however, wasn't what drew Kenshin's eyes. Hiko Seijuro, like Kenshin, had always appeared younger than his years. But it was still was strange for the rurouni to see his shishou _this_ young again. This Hiko was hardly older than Kenshin.

At Kenshin's lack of response, the tall man stood and sent him a dark look, hanging the sake at his hip. "I take it that's why you've graced me with your presence."

Kenshin bowed his head. Somehow, no matter how old he was, Hiko could make him feel like a child. He bowed humbly, and spoke in a soft voice, "I have no intention of fighting you, Shishou, that I do not. I already know how that battle would end. I have need of your assistance."

Hiko narrowed his eyes at the man standing in the shadows before him. "I have no interest in assisting a killer. I should never have taught you Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. Leave." Hiko walked to the shack, his white and red cloak snapping behind him as he brushed by Kenshin.

That, Kenshin had expected. He'd already had to deal with Hiko's anger when he'd first returned to finish his training. Not that this fact made the words hurt any less. "Shishou, I do not wish to trouble you, but I have no one else I can turn to." He followed.

Hiko froze in the door, and, without turning, said in a hard voice. "I do not deal with Battousai."

"I am no longer Battousai," Kenshin burst out, just before Hiko could close the door on him. "Let me explain, please. I have not killed in over ten years, that I have not. I am a rurouni now."

"Impossible," Hiko snorted, spinning on Kenshin to finally face the boy who had left him. "Ten years ago, you began training with—" The words died in his throat as he finally _looked_ at flame haired man before him. For the first time in years, his baka deshi managed to take Hiko Seijuro by surprise. This was no seventeen-year-old boy. And those weren't the eyes of an assassin. They were the eyes of a grown man who had seen too much in his short life. It was like looking into a mirror at his own soul. "Ten years…" The words slipped out without him meaning to say them, but what could he say? Hiko closed his eyes, and furrowed his brow. "Impossible," he whispered again. He hadn't even been drinking that much sake…

"Shishou?"

Hiko didn't open his eyes, but his hand went up to his head, and he looked very much like he had a headache. He motioned sharply with his other hand. "Go in."

Kenshin entered and knelt on the floor.

Hiko closed the door and, exchanging his empty sake jug for a fresh one, sat in front of this stranger whom he'd decided must be a sake-induced hallucination. There was no other way to explain it. At least no other way he wished to contemplate. He'd had a hard enough time dealing with the boy. Especially when Hiko had allowed him to be fed to the wolves. He didn't wasn't sure if he could handle seeing what they'd done to him. Kenshin was alive. Would be alive, even in ten years. But had he _survived_? That, Hiko didn't know. He pulled out two cups and poured each of them some sake. He had a feeling they were going to need it.

* * *

_1878_

Voices were fading in and out of his hearing. He didn't recognize any of them. No, that wasn't true. The man sounded familiar, but even that wasn't certain. He was lying down. Why? He never slept that way. And his body felt heavy. He didn't move right away, trying to make sense of this. A strange dream he'd been having tugged at the back of his mind. Something about the Sekihou-tai… and a river… and a boy. Everything was swirling together in his mind.

He finally tried to move, but that only hurt. His muscles ached. And the wounds he'd received when he'd killed _her_… Those wounds weren't fully healed yet, and they added to his discomfort. But pain was nothing new to him. At least he _could_ move. He stirred again. The voices came into focus all at once, startling him.

"Megumi-san! Is he alright?" It was a girl's voice. She sounded about his age.

A gentle hand rested on his forehead, and a woman's voice replied. "I told you he'll be fine. Why don't you listen, Kaoru? He has a high fever, and _that_ can be dangerous if we don't watch him. But he should be alright soon." The woman's voice was soothing somehow. Her hand gently brushed damp hair off of his forehead.

"And _you_, why didn't you _help_ him?" The girl was railing on someone else now. "He falls in the river and winds up with a fever all because you were involved in some stupid fight again!"

"Hey, Jou-chan, did you miss the fact that _I'm _sick, too. Not to mention that I'm wounded?" a man responded.

_Sagara_. The name came easily. This was the man from the Sekihou-tai. So, the dream wasn't over.

"_You_ don't have a fever, and Megumi-san said that Kenshin's got a lot more injuries!"

"_What?"_ There was a sound of someone moving closer. He felt his gi gently pulled back by the woman's hands, and heard the sharp intake of air before Sagara whispered, "What happened to him?"

"You mean, you really don't know?" the girl asked, sounding uncertain now.

"Of course he doesn't, Kaoru," the woman said. "These wounds are months old. They've just never healed properly, and now he's reopened them. Maybe by saving a certain someone who shouldn't have been fighting by the river?"

Sagara began defending himself, again. By now Battousai was sure the situation was not a dream, and he forced his eyes open. His vision was blurry and he had to blink a few times to see what was going on around him. No one was looking at him. The girl, Kaoru, was hitting Sagara over the head with a bokken, while the woman called Megumi-san yelled at her for attacking her patient.

Battousai sat up, holding his head as a wave of dizziness swept over him. If Sagara was real, then the rest must be, too. This was still Meiji.

Suddenly a bright, young voice from behind him cried out, "Hey, Himura's awake!"

He turned immediately to see another, even younger-looking girl with a long braid beaming at him. "Ha!" she said brightly. "I told them you wouldn't be out long! Not you!"

The others froze and four sets of eyes were suddenly focused on him. Battousai tensed. Who were these people? More of Sagara's friends? _Am I supposed to know them?_

"Kenshin!" Kaoru cried, tears in her eyes.

_Tears for what?_

She stood up, dropping the bokken and hurried over to him, brushing off Sagara's frantic attempt to stop her. Before he knew what was happening, this girl had dropped to her knees, and thrown her arms around him. She sounded like she was still crying.

Battousai stiffened, using all of his willpower to force back his automatic wish to shove her away. She kept whispering his name. "Kenshin, I was worried. You were so sick…"

His eyes had grown wide, and still he hadn't loosened up. He looked toward Sagara for some help. If she held on like this much longer, he was going to have to push her off and leave. He couldn't take contact like this.

"Kaoru," Sagara was saying. "Maybe you should get off of him and let him breathe."

"Kenshin?" She finally seemed to realize that something was wrong. Her tearful blue eyes stared up at him. "What is it?"

He looked away and didn't answer. Maybe she'd just leave if he ignored her. At least maybe she'd let go. The last one who had held him like that had been… he'd _killed_… He glanced back at her, without meaning to.

He heard the startled cries before he even realized that he'd pushed the girl to the floor and had leapt to his feet, reaching for his sword. It was gone. What had they done with it? He backed against the wall, trying to get some distance, knowing that he'd reacted poorly. But he'd seen Tomoe in that girl's face for a moment, and it had terrified him. He didn't ever want anyone to look at him like that again. With that look of trust and… He blocked the thoughts, feeling like a cornered animal, trying not to lash out like one. He knew he was overreacting, but he couldn't think straight. His head hurt, and he felt weak, which only made him more tense.

Sagara slowly advanced. "Kenshin," he said softly. "It's okay, Kaoru shouldn't have jumped on you like that when you're sick, but she was worried. She's your friend, Kenshin. Just like the rest of us. We're your friends. You don't have to be afraid."

Battousai scowled, his eyes narrowing into a glare that stopped Sagara in his tracks. "I'm not afraid, Sagara." _The hell he wasn't, but_ they _didn't need to know that._ "Just don't let her touch me. I don't want to hurt her. Not again." He shook his head. _What was Tomoe doing with these people anyway? Were they _all _dead? Maybe. Hadn't the entire Sekihou-tai been slaughtered last week? Maybe that's why he felt so lightheaded. And so hot. Was this hell? Then why was Tomoe there? Just to torture him?_

The wall was no longer lending him enough support to remain standing. He felt too heavy, and it was hard to focus on anything. The last thing he was aware of was Sagara catching him as he slumped forward.

And the sound of Tomoe crying.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thank you so much for reading, and thanks for the great reviews! I can't believe this story is doing so well. And I can't believe how many reviews are actually _discussing_ the story and trying to figure things out. So much fun for me! Please keep reviewing! I _love_ it!_


	4. Discussions

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 4: Discussions**_

_1865_

Hiko sat in front of the man, and watched in amusement as he quickly drank the cup of sake. Hiko refilled it, not quite sure why he'd found that so interesting. If this really was his baka deshi, then the boy had better be able to drink. He'd been practically raised on sake. But how could this be the boy he trained? He was older. That much was certain. This man was different, and it unnerved Hiko, because he wasn't sure what to make of him. His violet eyes seemed as clear and bright as the day Hiko had first taken him in, but at the same time they were unfathomable. Hiko couldn't read him at all. He could only sit and make guesses. This man, this older Kenshin, seemed frighteningly like _him_ in all the ways that mattered. Hiko could almost predict his actions, not by reading his ki, but by predicting his own reactions.

"Kenshin?" He had to ask. There was no one else he could be. Not with that hair, and those eyes. But Hiko had to hear _him_ say it.

Kenshin nodded shortly. His voice was soft and gentle. "I know this is strange, that it most certainly is. But I need help. I don't know what has happened to me, and you are the only one I thought could help. Kyoto is too dangerous here… now. I might kill again."

Hiko drank his third cup of sake, and finally tossed it down, this time drinking directly from the jug. The cup wasn't doing much for him. "How old are you?" he asked, before drinking some more.

Kenshin blinked in surprise, his cup halfway to his mouth. "Oro? Thirty. Why?"

Hiko choked, nearly dropping the jug, and inhaling as much sake as he'd swallowed. He began coughing, as Kenshin stared frozen in shock. Finally, after a few moments of coughing, he shot a look at the redhead before him. "Thirty? You're almost my age…" He caught himself gaping at his baka deshi, and forced himself to drink more sake instead. He was right when he'd assumed they'd need this. He just hoped he had enough in the house.

"Shishou?" Kenshin asked, looking worried.

"Don't look at me like that."

"But you just choked! Should you be-"

"I'm fine," Hiko snapped. "I don't know why I let you in here. Whether you're Battousai now or not, _you_ left _me_. I don't owe you anything."

Kenshin bowed his head again. "I'm not saying you owe me, that I am not. But-"

"What's with all this 'that I am,' 'that I'm not' talk?" Hiko interrupted, irritated. "You never used to do that before. I don't know if I could have taken it if you did."

"Shishou, you aren't helping. I need to know what's going on!" Annoyance flashed in Kenshin's eyes.

Hiko smirked, drinking his sake. "You're angry. Good. If we're going to get anything figured out, you need to stop with the obsessive humility and make yourself useful."

"Shishou!" Kenshin started.

"Hiko Seijuro. Drop the 'Shishou' for now," Hiko snapped. "My baka deshi is fourteen years younger than me, not one. I can't think of you like that when you're this old. We're practically contemporaries." He closed his eyes, trying not to lose his temper. This situation was too much. "I am Hiko. You are Kenshin. For now."

Kenshin said nothing, but he nodded.

"Here." Hiko stretched and grabbed two more sake jugs. He tossed one to Kenshin. "You're probably going to need it as much as I do by the time we're done." He opened his. "Now, what exactly are we trying to figure out? How you got here? How you leave?"

"Is there a purpose?" Kenshin said softly.

Hiko's left eyebrow twitched in irritation, and he drank. "A purpose? Why is there always a 'purpose' with you? Was there a _purpose_ when those bandits attacked you? Is there a real _purpose_ to this war? You're still an idealist, baka."

Kenshin blinked at him. "I thought I'm not your 'baka deshi,'" he said, a trace of frustration creeping into his voice.

"You aren't, but anyone can be a baka, and that's what you're being right now. What _purpose_ do you see to this? A thirty-year-old man thrown back into his blood-thirsty youth... Will you fight the revolution without killing?"

"I can fight without killing. I've done it for ten years," Kenshin finally snapped, unsheathing his sword.

Hiko's eyebrow raised again. "A sakabatou. Interesting. But I know your skills. If you wanted to, you could still kill with it, so don't evade the question. What would your _purpose _be?"

Kenshin lowered his eyes, sliding the sakabatou back into its sheath. "To protect someone, perhaps."

Hiko snorted. "You _entered_ this war to protect people. I've heard rumors far and wide of your _protection_. You need to stop saying the same things with different words. Who would you protect in a revolution without killing? Unless you're thinking of that girl of yours…"

Kenshin visibly paled, and Hiko knew he'd hit a nerve. Kenshin looked positively sick.

Hiko almost felt bad for him. "So, it is her."

"How do you know about her?" Kenshin whispered. "About Tomoe?"

Hiko sent him a dark glare. "Do you really think I was going to let my baka deshi out with his skills and not at least keep track of him?"

Kenshin's eyes widened a fraction. "You… kept track of me?"

Hiko drank more sake, his eyes glued on the jug. "About Tomoe…" he prompted.

"Yes… I…" Kenshin looked pained. "I made my vow not to kill because of her. She… somehow she could see past Battousai. She saw _me_… and helped me live again. And I killed her. She tried to protect me when I was ambushed, and…she moved in front of my blade. I didn't even see her until it was too late. I swore to never kill again when the revolution ended, in her memory."

Hiko watched the man before him, knowing that feeling. That feeling that someone had died whom he could have saved. Hiko had felt that before, too, when he thought he'd left a small boy to die. But he'd been given a second chance. He'd needed that boy to live. And it hurt him to realize that, whether or not this man before him wanted to believe it, _Kenshin _had needed Tomoe to die. He needed _someone_ to see worth in him and willingly die for him, because for some reason, Hiko had never been able to drill a value for his _own_ life into that boy's skull.

"So, you would destroy what you are to save her?" he growled. "You'd change the history of Japan and destroy any meaning your life may have gained to save her?"

"Yes." His voice was hardly a whisper.

Kenshin had loved her. Hiko hadn't known that until now. That would make things harder.

"Then tell me, Kenshin. If you'd been flung back far enough to save those three women from the bandits, would you have?"

Kenshin looked up, straight into Hiko's eyes for the first time in a long time. "What?"

"You heard me," Hiko snapped. "Would you save them? Would you step in before I could get there and save their lives? Erase hitokiri Battousai from existence? Erase your training with me? Erase your part in the revolution? Erase having ever met Tomoe?" He set his sake jug down, and watched the smaller man critically. "Would you do it?"

Kenshin was silent for a long moment before answering.

"No." The word was hard for him to say. "I needed that training. I've done too much since the revolution ended. I've helped people. I can't trade one set of lives for another. Kasumi, Akane and Sakura would forgive me, I hope."

"But you would do it for Tomoe?"

Kenshin didn't answer.

"From what you've said, she helped you bury the hitokiri. How many more lives would you have taken without your no-kill oath? Think."

Kenshin poured more sake, and drank, finally agreeing.

Hiko nodded, setting another empty sake jug down. "She died six months ago, Kenshin. You couldn't have saved her anyway, if it's any consolation." He sighed, watching the scarred man before him. "Honestly, I thought another death like that might break you. For once it's nice to be wrong."

Kenshin's eyes flashed a deep violet before hardening with resolve. Grief had been visible in his eyes for a second before he'd masked it. Kenshin bowed his head. "Thank you… Hiko."

There was an awkward moment, as the two men drank quietly, lost in their own thoughts.

Finally, Hiko broke the silence. "We need to figure out how you got here, so I can get rid of you," he said gruffly. He motioned to the several empty jugs littering the floor already, a smirk playing at his lips. "I don't know if I can afford you, now that you've learned to hold your sake."

At that Kenshin laughed softly.

Hiko relaxed. _Good. At least he can still smile._ He didn't think he really wanted the boy to turn out like him. This decaying world could use a touch of what had made this boy survive.

* * *

_1878_

When Battousai woke up again, it was dark, and the crowd was gone. He blinked a few times, trying to get some idea about his surroundings, but his mind was still a bit fuzzy, and that irritated him. As a hitokiri, he always had to be focused. He was lying on his back on a futon with a blanket carefully placed on him. He felt a little warm, and his muscles ached, but other than that, he seemed to be okay.

His eyes scanned the dark room. It looked somewhat familiar from a nightmare he remembered having. Apparently parts of that dream had been reality, along with the Meiji era and Sagara. He wondered if any of those other people had been real as well.

He bristled, suddenly sensing someone else's ki. Sagara was in the room with him. Battousai sat up, forcing his sore muscles to cooperate.

"How are you feeling?"

Battousai's turned and looked at the other man, sitting with his back against the wall next to his futon. "Sagara," he said, masking the surprise in his voice. "Why are you here?"

Sagara grinned. "At least you know who I am now. You had us all scared for awhile. Your fever got so high you were hallucinating."

Battousai's brow furrowed as he tried to remember his nightmare. People all around him. Sagara trying to placate him. And Tomoe crying… He shook his head to clear his mind. No. She had been someone else. Why had he called her Tomoe? He couldn't remember. Battousai looked up at the other man as worry set in. "Did I hurt that girl…?"

"Huh?" Sagara looked straight at Battousai and was surprised to see that the hitokiri looked concerned. "Kaoru? No. Why?"

"She was crying…" Battousai shook his head. "I remember her crying, but I can't remember why."

Sagara laughed, seeming relieved. "Oh, that. She was worried, that's all. That's Kaoru for you. Jou-chan is a tough one, but if she thinks you're hurt, she goes to pieces. And when you pushed her off… well, she just got more worried." He shrugged. When I finally got you back on the futon, she kept insisting on staying here with you all night. She was afraid you'd wake up disoriented again. I had a hard time convincing her to let me stay up. I figured you'd be better off with me. At least we've been introduced."

The redhead seemed to be trying to take this all in. "She shouldn't worry for me. I've chosen my life. I won't live long."

"Don't say that to her, Kenshin. It would kill her."

The stony mask was immediately in place again. "I told you not to call me that. I will not stain that name with blood. I am Battousai."

Sagara glared at him. "And _I_ told you that I can't call you Battousai. If you don't like 'Kenshin,' then I'll call you 'Himura' like Misao does, but that's it. You'll have to deal with it."

There was a long pause before the youth spoke. "Himura will be fine. Katsura-san has called me that."

"Good." Sagara nodded. "But you're going to have to deal with _them_ calling you Kenshin. They always have, and they won't understand why you suddenly refuse that name now. None of them met you as Battousai. They met you as a wanderer, a rurouni named Himura Kenshin. They'll get worried if you change your name on them now."

"Rurouni? You aren't making sense, Sagara."

"Yeah, a rurouni." The fighter winced. "You know, if I have to call you Himura, the least you can do is call me Sanosuke."

Battousai nodded, as though accepting an order. "Fine. Sanosuke." There was none of the friendly warmth behind the name that Kenshin usually lent it.

Sano sighed, realizing how difficult this was going to be. "Listen, Ken- Himura, those people you saw last night. I don't know if you remember any of them other than Kaoru, but they're all your friends." He smiled when Battousai's mask dropped for a moment and he blinked his wide blue eyes in surprise. "Misao, Kaoru, Megumi and me, we're all people who you've saved at some point or another. Even Yahiko. You didn't see him. The little brat was already asleep when we got in."

"Saved?" The boy's eyes narrowed and grew cold. This had to be some kind of sick joke. "People I _saved_? I was a hitokiri. A killer. I don't know how to _save_ people. I kill. That is all. Even now, when I no longer officially assassinate, my _protection_ involves killing attackers. And even under my protection, people die." Battousai looked away.

"God, Himura," Sano snapped, angered by the loss in Battousai's voice, by the frustrated tone that all but announced that this boy had been through hell and was giving up. "No one can save everyone _all_ the time. Not even you!"

"Maybe not, but I _killed _her, Sanosuke. She was under my protection and it was _my_ sword that killed her. What justice is that? What _protection_?" There was a flicker of amber deep inside those blue eyes, and a deadly anger touched the surface before being quickly suppressed.

_Her?_ _Was this the Tomoe he'd mentioned earlier? _Sano didn't speak for a long time. That had been raw pain he'd seen in the youth's eyes. The first solid emotion to crack through the surface. A cold chill ran through him as he realized that Battousai's emotionless mask was more than just a place to hide behind when he had to kill. Something terrible had happened to him, and for the time being, that mask seemed to be all that was holding the youth together. And it was cracking. Sano took a deep breath. He didn't want to see that. He didn't want to see his friend break down. "I know you, Himura. You don't kill without a reason. And I can't believe that you did when you were a hitokiri either. If you _did_ kill her, then…"

"There is no _if_, Sanosuke. My blade cut through her heart. Sliced straight through her with enough force to kill a man on the other side. I was wearing her blood. Do you need a more graphic description, or is that enough for you to understand? I _killed _her. And my reason? The reason you think I need? She got in the way." The boy was breathing hard.

Sano could see how difficult this was for him. Battousai was weak from his illness, and honestly was still sick. This discussion was only going to slow his recovery, and the boy couldn't afford that. This talk was going to have to wait. Sano looked out the room's large window at the pinks and lavenders of the early morning sky. "Forget it," he said softly. "What are we going to do about the others?"

Battousai turned to Sano, blocking his feelings again. "What are we going to do?" he repeated.

Sano nodded. "Yes, Himura. What are we going to do? You don't know these people that well yet, but they know you, and every single one of them cares about you. You're not going to get one step out of this room without someone trying to help you or give you medicine or _something_. And for some insane reason, they can't get it through their heads that you aren't _their_ Kenshin. They're only seeing what they expect to see, I guess. And," he paused awkwardly, "well, honestly, they're _afraid_ of Battousai. You've never been very comfortable talking about your past, so they've assumed the worst."

Battousai snorted. "There _is_ only the worst."

Sano didn't argue that. He didn't know everything about Battousai's past either. But from what he already knew of this youth, he could see his friend flickering inside of him. Most obviously a moment ago, when Sano had finally realized something… Battousai didn't _like_ to kill.

Battousai slid back a bit, so he could lean against the wall. He was looking pale again. Or was that just the early morning light?

"Himura?"

Battousai looked up stubbornly. "I'm fine. Go on. About _them_."

Sano watched his friend critically even as he answered. "It's just that… well, the friend I was buying sake with last night was you, Himura."

"I assumed as much," Battousai replied. "Considering your friends seemed to expect me to be with you."

"They're your friends, too," Sano snapped.

"Maybe they think so, but I don't know them. I have no friends."

Sano glowered at him. If he didn't know that even ill, Battousai could probably kill him, Sano would have considered hitting him. "_I'm_ your friend, you baka," he finally snapped. "Don't you get that? Not just in your future, but _right now_. Do you think I'd have followed you into Kyoto, and nearly let you _kill _me just to be sure you were okay, if I wasn't? Sure, I'm friends with Kenshin in this time, but that means I'm friends with every part of him. I don't care what he was. He and I have dealt with that already. People change. In another ten years, when Kenshin is forty, I still intend to be friends with him, no matter who he is. And if I can accept that, then I like to think that I can handle being friends with the twenty-year-old brat he was a decade ago."

"Seventeen."

The dark-haired fighter glanced over at the youth. "What?"

"I'm not twenty," he said. For the first time, Battousai's lips twitched into something almost resembling a smile. "I'm the seventeen-year-old brat he was a decade ago."

Sano just stared at him for a minute before finally laughing. "You're kidding! You mean you're actually _younger_ than me?"

"I thought it didn't matter how old I was," the youth said softly.

Sano just grinned. "It doesn't. It's just that I usually forget that you're a decade _older_ than me. It feels weird to know that _you're_ actually _younger _than me, now." He glanced at the youth beside him and smirked. "You look fourteen."

A red eyebrow arched. "You said twenty before."

Sano shrugged, grinning more broadly now. "I just said that because I know you look young for your age. I figured you had to be older than that."

Battousai just sighed, and leaned against the wall, his eyes fixed on the brightening sky. For once the boy actually looked relaxed. As though he were finally understanding that the constant vigilance of the hitokiri was no longer so necessary here.

Sanosuke leaned back next to his friend, allowing his thoughts to wander. At least he'd smiled. Even if they hadn't accomplished anything else, Sano couldn't help but think that the weak smile that Battousai had managed was worth far more than any planning. That could come later. For now, it was enough if this boy could survive without shattering.

* * *

_Author's Note: Well, here it is… Chapter 4. I appreciate all of the great reviews, and I appreciate you reading my story! This unworthy one hopes that Chapter 4 is as acceptable as the last few chapters seem to have been, that I most certainly do! Thanks for reading, please review, keep your eyes open for Chapter 5. And, as always… thanks for the discussions of the chapters when you review. That is _so_ helpful to my writing! Sayonara!_


	5. Understanding

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 5: Understanding**  
_

_1878_

Sano sat next to Yahiko, eating his breakfast. Fox lady had decided to cook while she was preparing Kenshin's medicine, and Sano wasn't going to miss out on Megumi's food. Anyway, Battousai had worn himself out and had fallen back asleep. Sano had just left him. He seemed more comfortable resting against the wall anyway.

Yahiko was wolfing down everything in sight, as usual, but Sano was eating more slowly, lost in thought. In some ways, Battousai seemed like a tired, old man, older even than Kenshin. It was as though he'd skipped childhood entirely. Sano stopped eating for a moment as he remembered the conversation on the bridge. When he'd asked if Kenshin had ever played at all, and Kenshin hadn't answered. Suddenly he understood why. For all of his knowledge of the Battousai's military history, it had never occurred to Sano that anyone who could kill like Battousai had at fifteen couldn't have _had_ a childhood.

"What's wrong with you now?" came Megumi's voice from behind Sano as she slipped a hand up against his forehead.

"What?" he snapped, trying to shove her away.

The woman smirked at him. "You're eating at the pace of a normal human. I was starting to think you had a fever like Ken-san."

Sano just gritted his teeth at her.

Yahiko managed to stop eating long enough to look up in surprise and ask, "Kenshin's sick?"

"Yeah," Sano said. "You slept through it all last night, squirt."

Yahiko glared, nearly spitting his food back out at Sano. "Don't call me squirt!" he shouted. "Rooster head!"

Sano scowled, and was about to retaliate when Kaoru and Misao stepped into the room to join them.

Misao plopped right down and began eating. "Good stuff," she mumbled around a mouthful of food.

Kaoru sat next to Sano. "How is he?" she asked, her voice heavy with worry.

Sano shrugged. "It's Kenshin. He'll be fine. He's still a little tired, and his mind's kind of fuzzy, but he was in a better mood when I talked to him this morning."

"He's up?" Megumi asked, alarmed. "You didn't tell me that!" She whacked him with some chopsticks.

Sano rubbed his head. "Ouch. Man, relax. He went back to sleep. Do you think I'd have left him alone if he was _awake_?"

Kaoru still seemed worried. Her food sat untouched before her, and she was playing with her hair. "What's wrong with his mind? He's not still getting scared… is he? Like last night?"

Yahiko's eyes popped open wide. "Kenshin, scared? No way! How sick is he?"

"He has a bad fever—" Megumi started, but Sano cut her off angrily.

"He's fine. He's just nervous around everybody because he's still having a hard time placing faces. The fever's really done a number on him. But he's not scared, and he's not dangerous, so why don't you just relax and leave him alone for awhile?"

There was a long silence as Sano dug into his food again. Finally Megumi said softly, "Sano, no one said he was dangerous…" She looked worried, eyeing Sano's bandaged shoulder.

The fighter was saved from having to respond by Battousai's appearance in the doorway. His long, red hair was out of its ponytail, and he wore only his white hakama. The nasty wounds on his upper chest, arms and back were all still in Megumi's bandages, although some were spotted with blood and in need of changing. He was clearly a lot stronger and steadier now that he'd had some rest, but Sano didn't miss that the boy still held onto the doorframe for support.

Yahiko stared at Battousai, saying nothing, just watching thoughtfully as he ate.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru exclaimed, her eyes lighting up.

He tensed for a moment, but then seemed to relax and even managed a slight nod in her direction.

That seemed to be enough for Kaoru at this point.

Megumi was a different matter. "Ken-san! What are you doing walking around like this? Don't you _want_ to get well?"

Battousai turned his hard blue stare on her, acknowledging her as he had Kaoru. "My gi," he said in a quiet voice, ignoring their concerns. "Where is it?"

Misao's hand flew to her mouth and she jumped to her feet. "Oh! That's my fault. Gramps wanted me to take your things to your room last night, but I forgot in all the excitement!" She ran past Battousai out the door. She'd have crashed into him if he hadn't quickly sidestepped her.

Megumi was glaring daggers at Battousai. "You don't need your gi right now, Ken-san. You are sick, and you aren't going anywhere." She was angrily smacking the chopsticks into her left hand while giving him her death glare.

Sano cringed. He'd gotten that look enough times before.

Of course, it wasn't nearly as effective on a man whose own glare was known to strike terror into the hearts of soldiers during the revolution. Battousai just looked away.

Misao was back in a moment with Kenshin's small bundle. She tugged out a gi and tossed it at Battousai before taking off again, calling behind her, "I'll put the rest of your stuff in your room! Sorry Himura!"

Battousai stood silently, staring at the magenta gi in his hands. He seemed utterly speechless. The youth looked back up, catching Sano's eye. "This isn't mine."

Sano choked back a laugh at the expression on Battousai's face. He'd lay odds that the hitokiri had never imagined himself voluntarily wearing magenta.

Kaoru looked from the gi to Battousai. "What do you mean, Kenshin? Of course it's yours."

His brows knitted in confusion and frustration. "It's pink," he managed.

Sano covered his laughter with a fit of coughing. Even a glare from Battousai didn't help.

The redhead took a deep breath. "I'd like my gi. It's dark blue. I was wearing it last—"

"Oh, that one!" Megumi broke in. "It's still wet and in need of mending after your swim in the river. You can have it when it's ready." By the look in her eyes, it wouldn't be ready until she felt her patient was.

Sano winced, expecting Battousai's temper to flare at her second attempt at ordering him around, but he only bowed his head and thanked her, turning to leave.

Kaoru waited until he'd left before saying in a hesitant voice, "Sano… where did he get that blue gi anyway? He wasn't wearing it when he left last night."

"Hiko Seijuro," Sano replied, thinking fast. "They've taken to exchanging 'souvenirs' now." He stood and stretched.

Megumi looked amused. "A gi is a souvenir?" she asked.

Sano shrugged, walking toward the door. "Kenshin felt the need to go four miles out of town just to buy him sake…" He grinned. "What can I say? They're weird. Anyway, I'd better go check on him. He still seems a little out of it."

Sano quickly walked down the hall to Battousai's room, passing Misao on her way back to breakfast. He paused a moment in front of Kenshin's room, then slid the door open, and entered. The youth had tossed the gi on the tatami and was rewrapping some of his bandages. Sano sat next to him. He motioned to the gi. "You're going to have to wear it eventually unless you want them to get suspicious."

Battousai didn't look up. "It's pink," he muttered.

"We've established that," Sano said. "The legendary hitokiri Battousai wears pink. You've worn it for awhile now. Obviously you like the color."

Battousai didn't even look at Sano, who was grinning at him.

"Okay, so you wear more pink than Megumi, Misao and Kaoru combined. So what? Are you afraid it'll make you look less tough or something, because trust me, the color of your gi has never really been a factor there."

"What are you talking about?" The youth asked, unwrapping some bandages around his chest that needed changing. "I don't care about the actual color. It's just that pink is too bright. I can't walk in Kyoto wearing that, even at night. Not unless I want to be targeted and killed."

Sano sighed. "No one's going to try to kill you, Himura. You get about three major death attacks a year, and this year, you've already had them. So, just put on the gi and relax. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you."

Battousai turned to Sano, and didn't grace that final comment with a response. "I need more bandages."

Sano stood and walked to a tray Megumi had left, grabbing some, and tossed them to Battousai. "God, what happened to you?" Sano muttered to himself, catching a glimpse of Battousai's wounds. "You're as bandaged as Shishio."

He hadn't expected Battousai to hear. "What about Shishio Makoto?" Blue eyes met Sano's startled brown ones.

"Nothin'. Forget I said that."

Battousai's eyes hardened. "I see," he said, his voice going cold.

"Ken—" He cut off growling, and tried again. "Himura!" When Battousai didn't turn, Sano grabbed the bandages out of his hands, causing the youth to stare up at him with an expression of surprise and anger. The tension between the two men was almost tangible. Sano took a deep breath to calm himself. "It isn't that I don't want to tell you. You're my friend. I would tell you almost anything, but this isn't going to do you any good, and I don't think it's something you need to know. So, hate me if you want to, but you're just going to have to wait ten years. You don't need this to worry about now."

Battousai scowled. "Fine. I need the bandages."

Sano heaved a deep sigh. He didn't want to lose what little trust he'd gained from Battousai. He smirked and sat behind the boy. "Relax. Let someone help you out for a change. Anyway, you didn't expect to bandage your back by yourself, did you?"

"Yes," Battousai said shortly. Then, after a pause, he continued in a less frigid voice. "Normally Okami would wrap my injuries. But she isn't here. And I believe Megumi is angry with me."

"Huh," Sano grunted. "Put your arms up."

Battousai complied.

"She's not really angry with you. That's just how she shows that she's worried. It's how they are. Megumi yells. Kaoru either cries or hits you. And Misao just gets annoying." He tugged on the bandage to tighten it, and tied it off. "You can put your arms down."

Battousai lowered his arms and tested the bandages. "Good dressing," he said.

Sano shrugged, aware that to Battousai that was a real compliment. "In my old job, that was a skill I needed."

"Old job?"

"Yeah," Sano said, standing up. "I was a fighter for hire." He grinned. "See, we aren't so different after all."

Battousai didn't answer.

Sano leaned against the wall. "So, who is this Okami lady? You've mentioned her a couple of times now." He straightened as a thought struck him. "Was she your mother?"

The look on Battousai's face would have been comical if it weren't so sad. "Cleaning blood from the walls of an inn?" he asked. "That's where I used her name last time." His eyes grew distant. "My parents died of cholera when I was six."

"Oh," Sano said. "Sorry." Another thing to chalk up on his list of unfair shit that had happened to this kid. Sano was starting to realize just how much Kenshin _didn't_ say.

"It doesn't matter."

Sano couldn't even work up a good anger. He just said in a tired voice. "Yes, it does. It matters. Things matter."

Battousai picked the gi off of the tatami, gave it a long look, and, with a resigned sigh, finally put it on. After a few minutes of looking, he found a comb and pulled the tangles out of his scarlet hair, finally tying his hair into a neat topknot.

"No," Sano said, laughing again.

Battousai scowled, breaking his expressionless mask once more out of sheer annoyance. "What now?"

"No topknot. You wear your hair low."

Battousai hesitantly took his hair down. "How?" he asked, his eyes uncertain. He was used to being given specific, unwavering orders, and following them. This was all too different and vague for him.

Sano came over and tied the boy's hair back for him in a low, loose ponytail. Then he stood back and looked him over. "Your hair's kind of long… and neat. Kenshin spends less time on it than you. But then again, if they haven't caught on by now, I doubt your hair will make much of a difference."

Battousai's hand hesitantly reached up and touched his hair. He walked to the window where he could see his reflection and looked at himself. It was like looking at a stranger. "I guess," he said slowly, "that it makes sense in a way."

Sano, who had walked away and begun picking up the extra bandages, glanced up. "What makes sense?"

Battousai continued staring at his reflection, as though mesmerized. "With my looks, I'm too noticeable," he said softly. "Darkness hides my features. But in… Meiji… I suppose I needed to learn to live during the day, even though it is where I am most noticeable." He smiled another of his rare, gentle smiles. "So now I hide by standing out. I draw so much attention to my appearance that no one could imagine I am hitokiri Battousai." He turned from the window. "Perhaps I have not changed so much."

Sano was just staring at him, frozen, with a puzzled look on his face. "You think too much," he said. His face split into a cocky grin. "But I'll agree with that last part. 'Cause it's what _I've_ been trying to tell you. That you're the same Kenshin, no matter what. Now do you get why I'm still your friend?"

"Not really."

Sano sweatdropped. "We need to work on that. But we'll work on one thing at a time. You have to let them believe you're their Kenshin, while we try to figure out how to send you home. We've got the look pretty much down. Except…" Sano looked pained for a moment. "Himura, if I give you the sword back, will you promise not to draw it?"

Battousai's eyes narrowed.

"It's important, Himura," Sano said quickly. "The police aren't happy about you _carrying_ it, but they have orders to leave you alone. If you draw it, and they see that your katana isn't a sakabatou—"

At that Battousai's eyes widened, and briefly he dropped the mask entirely. "Why would I carry a sakabatou? Are they legal even with the sword ban?"

Sano grimaced. "Well, no. Not exactly. But you're known for carrying one. I think it's one of the only reasons people who recognize you can be comfortable with you walking the streets. That sword is a symbol of your no-kill vow. Almost no one knows who you are, but it's an important thing to those who do."

Battousai stared at him silently for a long time before speaking. "I will take my katana, Sanosuke. I cannot make the promise. But… I will not draw it unless the need arises."

Sano hesitated, weighing his alternatives. In all reality, he didn't have a choice. Kenshin may seem gentler and more trusting than Battousai, but the fact was that that even _he_ was never without his sword for very long. And having it just sitting around raised the odds that someone would discover that it wasn't the right kind of blade. "I'll get it for you."

He left, and returned a moment later with the katana.

The youth took it from him. "What about my wakizashi?" he asked.

"This was all you had. You must have lost it in the river."

Battousai stared at Sano for a moment, trying to decide if this was the truth. Finally he put the katana on, seeming more at ease than he had since he'd arrived in this place.

Sano smiled, thinking back to the few times he'd seen Kenshin's discomfort when the sakabatou was missing. "No, you two aren't so different at all."

* * *

_1865_

Hiko Seijuro woke up late the next afternoon with a massive headache. He was relatively certain that this was the first time in his life he'd ever gotten hung over from drinking too much sake. His only comfort was the fact that Kenshin, who was still asleep, was probably going to be in worse shape when and if he ever got up. Hiko watched the boy for a minute as he tried to piece together the previous night through the katana being driven into his skull. He'd been so sure when his baka deshi had left him that they would destroy his pure soul. But now he realized that although they had left their mark on him, some of the boy, Shinta, remained. They had irreparably scarred him. Hiko could see the wounds of his soul everywhere, in his voice, his eyes, the way he held himself. But that strong spirit that had allowed a child to bury a field of bodies had never broken. And as annoying as Kenshin's ideals were, it was a relief to see that they hadn't been washed away in the rivers of blood.

The redhead finally stirred, and very slowly opened his eyes. He didn't move for a moment, just staring up at the ceiling, trying to adjust to the bright sunlight, and the too familiar setting. "Shishou?" he asked carefully, not looking around.

He was rewarded with a crack on the head with a perfectly aimed sake cup. "Ouch!" Kenshin cried, sitting up, and holding his head. He shot a poisonous look at Hiko that the Hiten Mitsurugi master hadn't seen in years. "What was that for, Shishou?"

Hiko grabbed another cup and hit Kenshin again, causing the redhead to mutter out something that seemed to almost be a weak attempt at cursing. Hiko smirked. "Baka. I told you to call me Hiko. I'm not going to spend the next several hours trying to put up with all of that humility again. We didn't accomplish anything last night unless you count getting drunk."

Kenshin rubbed his sore head, and stood, glaring defiantly at Hiko as he walked toward his shishou. He didn't take his defiant glare off of the man's face as he quietly picked up every sake cup and jug within Hiko's reach and dropped them on the other side of the room. Only then did he sit down again, and comment. "We established that there's no purpose to whatever has happened to me… Hiko."

Hiko tried not to let his amusement show. For a moment there, the boy had seemed like his baka deshi again, angry and defiant. Only now, he seemed a lot more intelligent. Not that he was going to let _Kenshin_ know that.

"And," Kenshin continued softly, "I think it was an accomplishment just to get in the door."

"What?"

Kenshin sighed. "I remember how I left. I knew that I wasn't welcome back, after leaving that way. And I realize that what I did worked against everything you stood for. I wasn't sure you'd let me in, even though I haven't killed since…"

_He thought he wasn't welcome back?_ Hiko thought, surprised. Of course, he _hadn't_ wanted to see the hitokiri. He hadn't wanted to see how they had warped the boy, or broken him. But still, his baka deshi… Kenshin… that baka had always been welcome to return, even if it was only to get a crack on the head for his idiocy.

"I never said you couldn't come back," Hiko said, gruffly. "Were you such a baka that you couldn't even figure that much out?"

Kenshin finally looked back at him. "You would have trained me again?"

Hiko snorted. "No. But I would have talked to you."

"Talked?"

Hiko scowled at Kenshin's blank stare. So maybe he'd been rushing it to assume the baka had gotten smarter. "Yes, Kenshin. Talked. Like we did last night." He paused. "Are you really stupid enough to think that you're the first person to ever be used like that?"

Kenshin didn't say a word, but his eyes widened a bit.

Hiko's scowl deepened. "Now you're starting to get it. How do you think I knew what they'd do to you? Why do you think I tried to stop you? Baka!" He stood, ignoring the crushing pain in his head, and walked to the shack's door, looking out. "This is why I swore I was never going to take an apprentice," he muttered.

"I'm sorry, Shishou. I didn't know."

Hiko's fists tightened. "I told you not to call me—" He sighed, finally giving up. "Never mind." He walked to a corner of the room and pulled a small sake jug from a shelf, drinking. "I need to get you out of here before you turn me into a drunk," he muttered, stomping back over to the startled redhead and sitting down.

"Oro? Should you still be drinking…?"

"Shut up, Kenshin," Hiko growled.

"But, Shi—" He broke off with a look from the other man, and sighed. "Hiko, if we're going to try to accomplish anything, do you think it's a good idea to…"

Kenshin trailed off at the larger man's glare. "Baka, I'm close enough to hit you with this jug as soon as I'm finished with it. Choose your words carefully."

Kenshin sweatdropped, and rubbed his sore head absently. "Right. About the situation."

Hiko nodded, taking another long drink of the sake. "Good choice. Now, let's focus. If we're going to send you back, we need to figure out how you got here in the first place. What were you doing when this happened?"

Kenshin's brow furrowed. "I was on a bridge near Kyoto with Sanosuke, a friend. He was walking the rail, and when he fell off, he dragged me into the water with him. When I came out, Sanosuke was gone and I was here… now…"

"And?"

Kenshin blinked up at him. "Oro?"

Hiko's eyebrow twitched in irritation. "Is there anything else? Something we can _work_ with? That doesn't explain anything. Is there something that could link that incident with this time?"

Kenshin shook his head, then paused. "The boy," he said softly.

"What boy?"

"When I was a hitokiri, I tried to talk a boy out of killing himself on that bridge, the same one Sanosuke was playing on. I remembered him, when Sano and I were up there. The boy had fallen into the river when he'd tried to get off of the rail. I thought he'd died… until I wound up back in this time tonight, and pulled him out of the water." Kenshin looked up at Hiko. "Do you think it has something to do with him?"

Hiko shrugged. "How am I supposed to know? But it's a starting point. Do you know who the boy is? Where he might be?"

Kenshin shook his head. "No. I didn't get the impression he was from around here. He could be anywhere by now, that he could."

"So, that's it? You're just going to give up?"

The rurouni looked back at Hiko, resolve in his eyes. "I didn't say that," he replied. "I just meant that he will be difficult to find, that he most certainly will. But if he's my only way home, then find him, I will. I have people waiting for me back home." His forehead creased in worry as he imagined Kaoru's reaction to his absence. "And the sooner I get back, the better."

Hiko didn't miss the redhead's concern.

Kenshin stood and bowed to his shishou. "Thank you," he said. "For everything. If all goes well, I won't see you for awhile."

Hiko snorted, setting his sake down. "I'll be crushed," he said in a dry voice. Then he motioned to Kenshin. "You aren't going out like that, are you?"

Kenshin blinked at him. "Oro?"

"You're wearing pink," the swordsman said, looking pained. "You want to walk around in broad daylight wearing bright pink in Kyoto? Why not just walk up to a Shinsengumi patrol unit wearing a sign that says 'I am Himura Battousai. Please kill me?'" He snorted. "Baka." Hiko stomped over to a trunk at the back of the hut, muttering to himself, "This is why I called you 'baka deshi.'"

Kenshin's face froze into an expression of annoyance. "I don't exactly have a change of clothes, Shishou."

"What do you think I'm getting you, baka?" Hiko snapped without turning around.

"I doubt I will fit any of your clothes, that I do," Kenshin said, trying to ignore the horrible mental image of him wearing Hiko's gi and cloak.

"I'm not grabbing you anything of mine," Hiko snapped, finally turning around and throwing a blue gi at Kenshin. "You've got your own clothes here. Put this on."

Kenshin held the gi up in front of him. "I was thirteen last time I wore this," he pointed out.

"So?"

The redhead sighed, and pulled off his magenta gi, and slipping the blue one on. "It isn't going to fit."

Hiko's lips curled into a smug smile. "Of course it will. You don't look like you've grown since then. In fact, I think you've gotten shorter."

Kenshin's eyebrow twitched as he bit back a reply. He tugged the gi on the rest of the way. To his dismay, it fit almost perfectly. Maybe a little snug at the shoulders, but not by much. He just sighed. "This will work," he admitted.

"I know," the tall swordsman said, turning to grab something else. "Here." He came over and covered Kenshin's scar with a bandage. Then he backed up and looked at him, critically. "It's better. Your hair's a different matter, though. People you know will still recognize you, but I think covering your head will make you too conspicuous anyway. You're going to have to just take the risk. Stick to the shadows until nightfall. Darkness makes your hair seem closer to brown." His brow furrowed for a moment, and he risked showing genuine concern for the boy. "If you want to wait, you could stay here until the sun sets. It would be safer."

Kenshin just shook his head. "Thank you, but no. The longer I wait, the further that boy could get. If I stick to the shadows I should be fine. I used to do this all the time, remember?"

Hiko scowled. "Don't remind me," he snapped, the moment of concern over. "And remember, if you get yourself into some situation, don't expect me to run in and save your scrawny hide. As soon as you leave this place, I'm going to forget all about you."

The redhead smiled and bowed again. "I understand." He turned to leave.

"Kenshin." The rurouni turned just in time to catch the jug of sake his shishou had tossed to him.

Hiko smirked at his questioning look. "To help you focus."

Kenshin smiled and tied the jug off at his waist. "Thank you," he said once more before finally leaving.

Hiko watched as the man his baka deshi had become disappeared into the woods. As the shadows swallowed Kenshin up, Hiko finally turned back and reentered the hut. It was suddenly too quiet. He would die before he'd acknowledge that he'd missed that baka. And he'd never admit that the reason he'd drunk so much sake last night was because for the first time in several years, it had tasted good again. Ignoring these thoughts, he picked the magenta gi off of the floor and, after carefully folding it, he set it in the trunk where he'd kept the rest of his baka deshi's things.

* * *

_Author's note: Hello! Thanks again for reading and reviewing! This chapter is an earlier update than usual. I owed one of my reviewers a little Christmas gift for something she'd found me, so I promised her Chapter 5! Also, my reviewer, cardinal, pointed out something to me. Battousai should only be seventeen, not eighteen. I have fixed this in the earlier chapter. (Arigato!) We are now dealing with the "seventeen-year-old brat" he was! I did not change the older Kenshin's age to 29. Battousai fell into the river at the beginning of the year, Kenshin fell at the end… That's my reasoning. I believe the math works out okay. Please, if you find any more mistakes like that tell me. I had to guess Battousai's age using the OVA, because I couldn't find an actual date. Many of the other characters are based on real people, and so in those cases, I have tried to use their real birth and death years… the fictional characters are harder. Well, I'll leave you now. Please continue your wonderful and thoughtful reviews! Sayonara!_


	6. And So We Meet

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 6: And So We Meet**_

_1878_

"I know their names," Battousai said calmly to Sano as they sat on the steps outside the Aoi-ya. "You don't need to teach them to me. Misao has the braid and calls me 'Himura.' Megumi is the lady doctor. And the other girl is Kaoru."

Sano winced at Battousai's reference to "the other girl." But at least it was a start. "Right," he said. "Except that you refer to them all as –dono." He paused, thinking it over. "Actually, you pretty much use –dono for girls in general."

Battousai nodded. "Fine. Misao-dono, Kaoru-dono and Megumi-dono. And I am to call you Sanosuke."

"You're not 'to call' me anything," Sano snapped. "I'm your friend. Call me whatever the hell you want. This isn't some military maneuver, Himura. This is called learning the names of people who care about you."

The boy didn't answer, his eyes fixed on his hands.

Sano stopped his tirade when he noticed how uncomfortable and withdrawn his friend looked. "Himura? Are you okay?"

Battousai swallowed and nodded shortly. "Are we done?"

"What's wrong? Are you feeling sick again?"

"I'm fine," Battousai said coldly. Then, after a long pause asked, "When can we go back inside?"

"What?"

"Everyone is staring at me. I shouldn't let them see me like this. I'm too exposed."

Sano looked around at the people on the street. "I guess I just got used to it. People always stare at you. I mean, how many swordsmen with red hair do you think people see? That's why I never understood why you bothered covering your scar. If they're too stupid to figure you out by your hair, I don't see what difference the scar would make." Sano motioned to the bandage on his friend's face.

"I shouldn't be out here," Battousai said again. "You can't understand."

"Try me."

The redhead finally looked up. "I can feel a lot of negative ki. That's all. It's almost as though the Shinsengumi is here."

Sano laughed. "Is that all? Well, we can safely assume the Shinsengumi aren't going to be a problem, since they haven't been around for years. And the negative ki is probably just one of the police officers upset about your sword." He leaned back against the stairs, grateful to have resolved that so quickly.

Battousai's narrowed blue eyes shifted slowly to the crowd. He saw an officer watching him from the distance. Maybe Sanosuke was right. Maybe it was just an angry officer. But this man's ki felt somewhat familiar.

"So, all that's left is Yahiko."

The youth shifted his focus from the officer to Sano, who'd begun talking again. "What?"

Sano grinned. "You just have to meet Yahiko, and you'll know just about everyone. Hopefully we'll get you home before you have to meet anyone else."

Battousai glanced back where the police officer was, but he had disappeared. "Yahiko?" He turned back to Sanosuke, blocking the officer from his mind. "You mean the one you called a little brat?"

The other man laughed. "Yeah, that's him." His face went solemn for a moment. "But don't call him that. I mean, it's true, but whether or not Yahiko shows it, he hero-worships you, and he'd be crushed if he thought you didn't respect him. He's a pain in the ass, but he'd a good kid. If you just acknowledge him now and then, he should be okay." Sano smirked. "Oh, yeah. And don't call him Yahiko-chan unless you want to see him explode. As fun as that can be, I don't think you're ready for it. I've actually had him jump on my head and bite me once, for lack of a better weapon."

Battousai blinked wide, blue eyes at him for a moment before a soft laugh escaped his faintly curved lips. "That sounds like something I'd have done as a kid."

Sano just stared at the normally serious youth. _Had he actually _laughed? "For some reason I have a hard time picturing that."

He was ready to say more when Megumi started yelling for him from inside of the Aoi-ya. Sano sighed and sweatdropped. Honestly, she was screaming. He sent an apologetic look at the boy beside him. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." To his credit, he only hesitated a moment before entering the building.

Battousai leaned back against the steps, and closed his eyes, trying to feel as at ease as Sano did. He still only felt exposed. Not exactly relaxing. Especially when a strong ki burst out of the Aoi-ya and tripped over Battousai's head, falling face first onto the ground. The youth's eyes snapped open and he sat up to see an angry boy with spikey black hair standing in front of him.

"Waddaya think you're doing, taking up the whole doorway?"

Battousai stared at him, wide-eyed. "Yahiko?"

Some of the boy's anger faded as he saw the man struggle to put the name to his face. Yahiko quieted down and sat beside Battousai, watching him critically. "They said you have some kind of fever. That it's got you all confused."

"I'm fine," Battousai said, softly.

Yahiko made a face. "Yeah, I kinda figured that."

Neither spoke for several minutes, as they listened to the sounds of the street.

"So," Yahiko finally said, breaking the silence, "have you eaten or anything yet? You missed breakfast."

Battousai shook his head. "I haven't been very hungry."

"I'll get you something. If you're sick, you're supposed to eat." The boy stood and ducked back into the Aoi-ya. He returned in record time with some soup, which he handed to the redhead.

Battousai hesitantly took the offering. "Thank you," he said, carefully eating a little.

Yahiko watched him. "It's kinda hot. Kaoru just got done making it."

The young man glanced over at Yahiko. "What is it?" he asked, making a face. "It tastes… bad…"

"Kaoru made it," Yahiko said again, as though that were supposed to explain something.

"But…" He was at a loss for words. "But what _is_ it? It tastes… burnt. She burned soup." He gave it the most peculiar look, as though trying to figure out how that was possible.

Yahiko watched Battousai try to eat. The redhead had almost finished choking it down, grateful for the food, and trying to think of some way to voice gratitude without sounding disgusted. He had a feeling it would be like thanking Katsura-san for an assignment. Just say it quickly and leave.

"Who are you?" Yahiko finally asked.

Battousai tensed, shifting his attention to the boy without answering.

"Because you aren't Kenshin. You _look_ like him… well, mostly… But you're not." At Battousai's blank stare, Yahiko added, "Kenshin would _never_ say anything bad about Kaoru's cooking, even if he was dying. And you don't really smile much."

"Smile?"

Yahiko nodded, not looking at the man beside him. "Yeah. Kenshin always smiles, even when he doesn't want to. It's just a bunch of little things. Your hair's too neat, and your eyes aren't even right. Sano says you're Kenshin, so the girls believe him, but you're not Kenshin. Who are you? Are you related to him somehow?"

Battousai stared at the boy. Sano had told him to show the boy respect. That wouldn't be so difficult. This Yahiko was observant. "You'd make a good swordsman," Battousai said finally. "You notice things."

Yahiko glared at the redhead all the while trying not to grin at the compliment. "You didn't answer my question! Who are you? I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me." Another thought seemed to cross his mind just then, and he added, "Where's Kenshin?"

Battousai set the empty bowl down on the step beside him. "I don't know where your friend is right now. I'm sorry."

Yahiko paled slightly, covering it up with anger. "You'd better not be lying! 'Cause if you did anything to Kenshin, I, Myojin Yahiko, will personally make you pay! I've watched Kenshin fight, and if I have to, I can attack you with Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. Or at least something that's pretty close to it. Either way, it'll hurt." He jumped up, pulling out his bokken.

Battousai smiled faintly. "Don't learn Hiten Mitsurugi. It's not a skill that lends itself well to friends."

"I'll do what I want!" Yahiko yelled. "You aren't Kenshin! You can't tell me what I can and can't learn!"

Battousai's smile broadened. It was like seeing himself at that age. Was this how Shishou had seen him?

Yahiko was still hollering at him, now swinging his bokken around. "I'm gonna get Kenshin to actually practice with me someday! Just you wait! And if he won't, then I'll go straight to Hiko Seijuro and make _him_ teach me!"

Battousai's smile faded immediately, silencing the boy. "Hiko Seijuro? He's still alive?"

Yahiko made a face. "You _know_ him? Did you train under him, too? Did he train your whole family?"

The youth didn't answer him. "Is he _alive_? Now? Where is he?" He didn't mean to sound so desperate, but this might be his only chance. Sanosuke seemed like a decent person, but he wasn't doing anything to help send him home. And without Katsura-san to talk to, Shishou was the only other person who could possibly have the knowledge to help him. Assuming he was alive… and that he wouldn't kill the hitokiri on sight.

"Yeah," Yahiko said. "Of course he's alive. He's some kinda weird old hermit."

"Weird old hermit," Battousai whispered. God, how old _was_ Hiko now? It had been over five years… no, over fifteen in this time. Had his shishou gotten old in all that time? Battousai wasn't really sure how old he'd been when they'd met. There had always been a kind of agelessness to the man. He couldn't imagine Hiko any older. Honestly, he didn't want to. He didn't want to have to imagine the man he'd seen as a father, growing weak.

"Hey!" Yahiko's voice broke into Battousai's thoughts. "Did you listen to anything I just said? You still haven't told me who you are! Are you Kenshin's little brother or something?"

Battousai stood just as Sano came back out, nursing a nasty bump on the head. Sano took one look between the aggravated boy, and Battousai's torn expression and sighed. "You called him Yahiko–chan, didn't you?" he asked.

Yahiko glared up at Sano. "No, rooster head. He's not as stupid as you are, whoever he is."

Sano dove down the stairs, almost knocking Battousai down, and kicking his bowl into the dirt. "You little—" He had Yahiko in a death grip when he froze. "What do you mean 'whoever he is?'" He looked toward the troubled youth. "Did you _tell_ him?"

Yahiko snorted, squirming out of his grip. "He didn't have to. It was obvious. He doesn't act right. I've known Kenshin longer than you have."

"By what, a week?"

"That's not him."

The two were face to face, glaring at each other.

"Sanosuke," Battousai said softly, "why didn't you tell me about Shishou?"

The two froze, mid-strangulation, to stare at Battousai. "Huh?"

"Why didn't you tell me that my shishou is alive? I assumed… if Katsura-san was dead…" He shook his head, and broke off.

Yahiko pulled away from Sano's arm, which he'd currently been biting, and looked with confusion between the two. "Who's Katsura?"

"Leader of the Choshu Ishin-shishi during Bakumatsu," Sano said, cracking the boy upside the head. "Don't you know anything?"

"I know lots of things!" the boy shouted, drawing even more attention from the crowds in the street who were trying to ignore the scene. "But how am I supposed to know anything about the stupid revolution? I wasn't even born then! Did _he_ fight, too?" Yahiko jerked a thumb at the youth standing near the bottom stair.

Sano didn't look like he quite knew what to say.

"He thinks I'm your friend's younger brother," Battousai said.

"He's not Kenshin," Yahiko said stubbornly, "so who else could he be? Especially if he knows Hiko!"

"Where exactly _is_ Shishou?"

Sano just held his head and sat down on the step. This was going to be a long explanation for everyone. Dealing with these two was finally giving him an appreciation for why Hiko Seijuro had become a recluse.

* * *

_1865_

Kenshin watched the sun set from the outskirts of Kyoto. He'd searched as much of the woods and other areas surrounding the city as he could while there was still light, but the boy was nowhere to be found. Now that night was falling, it would be easier for the ex-hitokiri to slip into Kyoto itself unnoticed and hunt the boy down. He could only hope that the child hadn't left town while Kenshin had been visiting with Hiko. If that boy really _was_ his only way home… Kenshin didn't know what he'd do if he were stuck in the past forever. He probably _would_ go mad.

The small man sighed, watching the sky flare into reds and oranges as the sun dipped past the horizon. He'd told Hiko that if all went well, they wouldn't see each other for awhile. What Kenshin _hadn't_ mentioned was that if he failed and was forced to stay in the past, if he broke his vow and killed again, Hiko _would_ see him one final time.

Hiko Seijuro was the only person Kenshin knew could stop him if necessary. And if Kenshin finally gave into the bloodlust, then Hiko would have a responsibility to finish him.

The reds were gone now, fading to violet and deep blue, with tones of amber glowing on the clouds. Kenshin's hand tightened on the sakabatou, as he turned toward the city where lanterns were already being lit. He had to find the boy. He didn't want to have to put his friends through that… or his shishou.

Silently, Kenshin slipped into the busy city. It was still too early for people to go home to the safety of their houses, but he could use that to his advantage as well. Disappearing into the crowd was almost as effective as disappearing into the shadows. There were only a few who really knew what he looked like at this point in time. As long as Kenshin could avoid the Shinsengumi and Ishin-shishi, he'd be alright. At that, he sighed. Right. Just avoid both sides of the revolution when you're on the top of the Shinsengumi assassination list, and you _are _the top Ishin-shishi assassin. Thankfully the lanterns didn't provide enough light to make him stand out.

It was an hour before the streets began to empty, and Kenshin started to lose his cover. Still there was no sign of the boy. The patrol units would be out soon. He was going to have to take to the shadows and hope to get lucky, now. Kenshin's spirits were down. If the boy were out at this time of night, then he was still _trying_ to get himself killed. He wouldn't have lasted this long if that were the case. And Kenshin didn't think he could bring himself to check the riverbanks.

Perhaps he'd try some inns first… He was walking the streets alone now, keeping to the shadows, and slipping between buildings occasionally to listen for footsteps or voices. So far there had been nothing, but that wouldn't last. Quickly his eyes were adjusting to the darkness, and his ears had grown attuned to the smallest sounds. His body was reacting almost on its own to his senses, allowing his mind to focus more on detecting distant ki. The Shinsengumi were definitely out. And they weren't far. His right hand closed on the hilt of his blade. Speed would be of essence, if he wanted to survive an encounter.

Kenshin slipped into the shadows of a darkened inn. He could almost hear them, and their ki was especially easy to sense. For some reason they were agitated. Silently, he leapt onto the roof of the building, and peered down. The Shinsengumi's first unit was approaching. He watched as they came into view. Kenshin's eyes narrowed. Something was wrong. Okita was missing.

Kenshin scanned the surrounding area as the first unit disappeared from sight. Nothing obviously visible. Not that he'd really expected it. But he still felt a lot of ki. Then he saw motion. Four men slipping through the shadows, guiding a fifth. They were Ishin-shishi, running someone out of Kyoto. Someone important by the looks of it. Four guards, and Kenshin recognized one as Ushiro Ryu, one of Katsura's best, whom Kenshin often had done protection work with during Bakumatsu.

Kenshin knew from the sudden flare in ki, that they'd been spotted, moments before he heard the shout. The third Shinsengumi unit materialized from a darkened street. Clearly they had been waiting, using the first unit as a distraction. Kenshin could feel the ki of both the first and third unit leaders. This didn't look good.

Ushiro motioned sharply for the others to go as he stayed behind to hold the Shinsengumi off. Suicide. That's what it was. Ushiro was the best simply because he melted into the shadows and could help others do the same, but he was no hitokiri. The dark haired man let out a shout before drawing his katana. He would die. Everyone there knew it. He would die to buy them time to escape.

Kenshin's brow furrowed. Except that Ushiro had died a year into Meiji. What was going on here? Actually, the tall man was doing well holding his own against a portion of the third unit, but the leaders were readying themselves for attack. There was no use wasting time. The Shinsengumi were no sword police who played games with their victims. The Mibu Wolves were efficient.

Okita fell upon Ushiro, wounding him badly. This would end quickly now.

Kenshin grimaced, at war with himself. He couldn't enter this battle. He wasn't sure that even his sakabatou would protect his mind. But at the same time… his oath was to protect life. _Anyone's_ life… "I'm sorry," he whispered, thinking of his friends, "but I could not accept standing by, watching this, that I could not."

With that thought, he entered the fray.

* * *

Saito Hajime had just sent half of his unit after the escaping Ishin-shishi and was drawing his sword, making ready to join when a second swordsman leapt from the shadows, blade slicing down. Saito easily evaded and turned to see who his attacker was. He recognized the man immediately. "Battousai," Saito said, smiling coldly. "So, you aren't dead. Good. I was afraid someone had taken the honor from me." 

The redhead didn't answer, standing frozen, blade drawn.

Saito nodded to him, raising his katana and running his hand along the blade in the Gatotsu stance. Battousai sheathed his own sword and prepared for the battou-jutsu. Saito smirked. _Ah, Battousai, we're both so predictable, aren't we? This is how it will be until one of us dies. Who will be the one to draw blood first this time?_ He was in motion.

Battousai's retaliation was almost immediate, but Saito noticed that for him it was slow. _Why?_

Both men hit their marks. Battousai turned, immediately falling back into a defensive position. There was a deep slash in his side, and he was breathing hard. Saito had felt a rib crack, and had finally been surprised into momentary stillness. He touched his side, and pulled his hand away. No blood. His amber eyes widened as they fell upon Battousai's blade, glinting in the pale moonlight. Impossible.

Battousai carried only one sword, a sakabatou. It explained the slowness of his draw, but nothing else made sense. Battousai completely disappeared for twenty-four hours only to reappear out of nowhere with a blade that doesn't kill?

And still, the redhead wasn't making the first move. Battousai wasn't trying to hurt him. He was only trying to distract Saito from his ally. Saito bristled, and pushed it from his mind, attacking again.

Battousai was faster this time, but still not quick enough to dodge, acquiring a second, deeper wound in his shoulder. His ki was wavering uncertainly. He was ready to kill, but for some reason was holding back. It didn't make any sense. This was not the Battousai that Saito had faced in the past.

"What game are you playing at, Battousai?" he said cooly, knowing the young man wouldn't reply. Few of the Shinsengumi had ever heard his voice. Battousai killed and left. That was all.

But not this time. "I play no games. I have no wish to kill you, Saito Hajime, that I do not." His voice quietly rang out over the sound of Ushiro and Okita's own fight.

Saito scowled in disgust. _How had Battousai gone soft in two nights? What had happened to him?_ Then another thought struck him, as again he felt the only faintly familiar ki waver. He didn't seem much like Battousai at all, other than physical appearance. And even that wasn't quite right. This was no child. In fact, Saito got the unnerving impression that this man was even older than he was.

And it annoyed him.

Saito attacked again, but this time there was an amber glint in the stranger's eye, and he came at Saito with incredible speed.

"Ryu tsui sen!" The man was suddenly in the air, slashing his blade down on Saito's katana.

_Who _is_ he?_ _He _can't_ be Battousai… but this is one of Battousai's moves…_

The attack had so much force behind it that even though it was only a sakabatou, he managed to snap the katana blade in half.

The third unit leader scowled, hating himself for being taken by surprise by this man. Holding the broken remains of his sword in the Gatotsu position again, he finally voiced his thoughts. "Who are you? Where is the real Battousai?"

The redhead's eyes widened, softening a bit to a dark violet. His ki forcefully shifted, as he bowed his head, and replied softly, "I should have expected you of all people would notice." A sad smile played on his lips. "You will have to wait to fight hitokiri Battousai another day, that you will."

Saito readied another attack, expecting this redhead to finish him, when the man turned away from him and dove into the fray between the badly wounded Ushiro and Okita, felling members of the third unit as he went.

Saito didn't follow, leaving him to the first unit leader. This fighter was skilled, Saito had to give him that, but he wasn't Battousai. Okita should have no trouble dealing with him. The captain warily watched him fight the remainder of the third unit. His moves were definitely Hiten Mitsurugi, but they were different. _Was this Himura Battousai's father? It would explain a lot_.

In moments the remains of the third unit had fallen under the sakabatou, and only Okita and Saito were standing. His speed. His skill. Both increasing and growing deadlier with each attack. Saito gritted his teeth as Okita fought this stranger. _Who the hell was he?_

The young captain had the upper hand for a moment, but lost it when he began to cough, and the redhead managed to disarm him. An assassin's ki was bubbling to the surface.

"Get back to base," he commanded Ushiro.

"I'm not leaving you here to face them both," Ushiro snapped. "You've been wounded. And he will be up soon."

The smaller man's eyes flashed amber for a moment before fading to a deep blue. "Just go."

He was rewarded with a defiant glare. "I'm not just leaving you here."

They stared at each other for a moment. The redhead closed his eyes, grimacing. When he finally looked up, he was staring straight at Saito with clear violet eyes. The need to kill was gone. "Then if you will not leave me, we _both_ go," he said as Okita finally stood.

"What?"

The redhead grabbed Ushiro and gave him a forceful push before sending a brief nod of acknowledgement to Saito. "Run," he commanded, following the man close behind.

Okita looked like he wanted to follow, but his breathing was ragged, and even he could see that there would be no point in trying. Saito only stood and watched.

There had been no malevolent intent in those eyes. No anger or hatred. No wish to kill.

Aku soku zan. Slay evil immediately. It was the code of the Shinsengumi as well as that of the hitokiri. Something they had in common. Fight honorably, to the death if need be, to slay the evil that plagued Kyoto.

But there were times that it was difficult, even for Saito Hajime, to tell who deserved to be at the other end of the blade.

* * *

_Author's note: Me again! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm sure there were a few of you waiting for Saito Hajime to show up, so hopefully he lives up to expectations. And Battousai is finally dealing with more of Kenshin-gumi, so there's another treat. I hope this chapter was acceptable. Thank you so much for reading, and please continue your wonderful, thoughtful reviews! Sayonara!_

_Oh, and half-breed-demon-fox, don't worry, I didn't forget about _Switch_. I'll try to get the next chapter to you in a week or so! About the pairings... take it as you will. The story is mostly just coming to me, so I guess it all depends on how it comes out!_

_xZiz-Zagx, thanks for adding me to your community. I'll have to check that out!_

_animeinsomniac, yes, you're right about the little boy;)_

_TMaurader, isn't Hiko _always_ hot? - - blushes - -_

_Nekotsuki, hopefully this chapter will have more good lines;) Glad you liked it!_

_WhiteRabbit5, sorry that your back hurts! What exactly did you do to it? (clueless about "toe turns" and "black diamond")_

_Sailor_-_Earth13, yeah, I kinda feel bad for Hiko, the way his baka takes off on him all the time..._

_Wistful-Eyes, I'm glad you liked your "gift" and Maigo-chan's site rocks! Really great! Thanks!_

_For the rest of the wonderful reviewers, sorry I couldn't mention you all by name (that was probably my first and last time doing that...whew!) but thanks to you all for the great reviews!_


	7. Situations

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 7: Situations**  
_

_1878_

Sano sat on the bottom step of the Aoi-ya, eyes closed, thinking back to his time fighting in Bakumatsu... back to when he was a street fighter… hell, back to when Kenshin beat the crap out of him and chopped his zanbatou in half… It didn't matter which he thought of, he'd rather be in _any_ of those situations than the one he was in right now. Sano cracked his eye open to see both Yahiko and Battousai staring at him with expressions that clearly demanded answers.

Sano sighed, fully opening his eyes, and picking the less scarred of the two to deal with first. He needed time to think before he discussed anything with Battousai. "Listen, Yahiko," he started, turning toward the boy, "there's a lot to this you don't understand, and I'm not sure—"

"You don't think I can take it? Why? Is he some kind of bandit or something?" Yahiko's eyes became wide as saucers as all sorts of ideas came to his mind. "Or did he fight on the opposite side of the revolution as Kenshin?"

"Yahiko…"

"That's it, isn't it?" Yahiko demanded. "He's Kenshin's long lost brother, and their parents sent them both to train under Hiko Seijuro, but when Kenshin left to fight with that Katsura guy, his little brother joined the Shinsengumi…"

"Yahiko!" Sano cut in, sending a panicky look at Battousai at the mention of his old enemies. Oddly enough Battousai didn't look upset. The expression on his face was hard to read, but it wasn't anger. More like… amusement. Like Battousai wasn't sure if he should laugh or just hit Yahiko to make the kid stop talking. Not that Sano could actually picture him _hitting_ Yahiko. Maybe that was just Sano tapping into his _own_ desire at the moment.

"What?" the boy asked, wide-eyed. He was staring at Battousai with a mixture of awe and fascination. Obviously he'd already convinced himself of his own story. "That's so cool! So, you would have been one of the bad guys, right? Why are you here now? To make up with Kenshin or something? Or are you gonna fight him?"

Sano stood up and began pacing. "Where do you get this stuff, Yahiko? He wasn't part of the Shinsengumi!"

"They aren't 'bad guys,'" Battousai said softly.

Both Sanosuke and Yahiko turned to the young man. "What?"

Battousai just shook his head. "Many of the Shinsengumi are honorable fighters. The Ishin-shishi aren't the good guys fighting the bad guys." He looked away. "We're just people fighting other people. That's all it ever was. People killing people." His voice was far away, as though he were thinking of something deep in his past. "I think I knew that at the beginning, but I lost it somewhere. Now, all I know is the sword. And so I am stained with blood."

"Himura?" Sano said hesitantly, afraid to break into Battousai's thoughts, but even more afraid to allow him to continue.

Yahiko just looked back and forth between the two men, completely lost. "Okay… so that means you were Ishin-shishi, then?"

"Yahiko," Sano growled, finally picking Yahiko up by the collar of his gi and carrying him around the corner kicking and screaming. He called back to Battousai, "Just give us a minute, will you?"

When he got out of hearing range, Sano dumped Yahiko down.

"What was that all about!" Yahiko hollered.

"Do you have a one-track mind or are you really that stupid?"

"This coming from you…"

Sano glared at him. "Enough with the revolution. It bothers him, can't you tell? You don't need to know his life story. He's related to Kenshin, and he goes by 'Himura.' That's all you need to know."

"Where _is_ Kenshin?" Yahiko asked, convincing Sano that he did, in fact, have a one-track mind.

The fighter winced. "He's gone… for now."

"GONE!" Yahiko exclaimed.

"Shhhhhh!" Sanosuke hissed, covering Yahiko's mouth, and looking around as though expecting Misao to pop out of a bush somewhere. "He had something he had to do, but if Kaoru and the others find out, they're gonna worry that he's never coming back. That's why when they assumed he was Kenshin, I just went with it."

Yahiko pulled away from him, lowering his voice a little. "But Kenshin _is_ coming back, right? I mean, he _didn't_ become a wanderer again, did he?"

Sano's eyes darkened, and he replied simply, "I think wandering is the least of his problems right now."

* * *

_1865_

Even as they ran through the darkened streets, Kenshin knew that they wouldn't be able to escape if Saito chose to follow. Okita had used his three thrust attack on Ushiro, badly injuring and severely slowing him down. Kenshin, himself, had a deep wound in his side and one in his shoulder from the Gatotsu. His breath was ragged, and he was losing too much blood. The initial adrenaline of the fight had worn off by now, and his injuries were crying out for attention.

But even this didn't distract Kenshin from the obvious fact that they weren't being followed. Saito and Okita had let them go. It was unnerving.

Ushiro, who was a short distance ahead of Kenshin, glanced back. "Almost there," he said. "How are you holding out, Battousai-san?"

Kenshin frowned at the use of his hitokiri name. "I'll live," he replied, simply.

Ushiro grinned, his smile quickly becoming a grimace of pain. "Good. We'll be there soon. Katsura-san has been worried, you know. He'd have been furious if you'd gotten yourself killed back there."

Kenshin skidded to a stop, an involuntary gasp causing the wound in his side to pain him worse.

Ushiro noticed, and quickly turned back. "Battousai-san?"

"Katsura," Kenshin whispered. In the excitement he'd forgotten that small detail. That they were running straight to Katsura, right to where Kenshin had been trying so hard to avoid. He suddenly felt lightheaded.

Ushiro looked like he wanted to help support his ally, but he knew as well as anyone that you don't touch Battousai. _No one_ touches him. "Battousai-san, we need to keep moving. The Shinsengumi will track us, and we're in no shape to fight them again…" He grinned sheepishly. "Well, at least _I'm_ not. And if we're followed, you know what that will mean for Okami."

"Okami," Kenshin murmured. He remembered the kind woman who had helped him so many times, without anyone else having to know. Because even Battousai had needed someone to talk to sometimes, even if it were only over trivial things. He couldn't let her get hurt because of him. Kenshin began moving again. "Let's go," he said tiredly. "I'm fine."

Ushiro nodded, sighing with relief, and began running again, Kenshin close behind him. He didn't know what he'd have done if the hitokiri hadn't been able to follow. It was unprecedented. Battousai _never_ came out of battle with wounds like this. Especially after fighting so few, even if one of them was Saito Hajime.

As they neared the inn, Kenshin carefully looked down and behind them to be sure that they hadn't tracked blood. If they had, it would be necessary to pass the inn and double back later.But no... The track was clear. Ushiro had been careful to cover his wounds, and Kenshin was surprised and disturbed to realize that he'd been automatically catching the blood as well. He felt like he was losing control of his own body.

If he made it home, never again would Kenshin complain about having flashbacks when visiting Kyoto. He'd take flashbacks any day to this.

Ushiro looked around carefully before knocking on the door.

There was the quick sound of a woman's feet, and the door cracked open. At the sight of Ushiro, Okami opened the door to let him in. It wasn't until he'd entered that she noticed Kenshin leaning against the side of the inn, holding his shoulder. Her eyes widened. "Himura-san," she whispered, quickly taking ahold of his arm, and gently leading him inside and closing the door. Kenshin winced at the forced movement of his shoulder, and for the first time, Okami noticed his wounds.

One of the other girls had already arrived and taken Ushiro away to have his injuries treated. Okami helped Kenshin into the dimly lit kitchen, so he'd be out of the way of prying eyes. She would treat him herself. She was the only one Himura ever let help him.

"Thank god you're alive. Everyone was certain you'd been killed," she said, pulling bandages out of a basket, as he slipped off his gi.

He was distracted, trying not to let his past overwhelm him, but he managed a faint smile for her, and commented, "So much faith in me."

The smile clearly startled her, and she bristled a bit, stating, "Himura-san, you never once have disappeared for even one hour without telling Katsura-san where you are going. You have been missing since last night. What were we to assume?"

"Since last night?" Kenshin blinked at her in surprise. Then his younger self had disappeared around the same time he had. Worry settled into the pit of his stomach. Did that mean that Battousai was in Meiji? He thought of Sano, Yahiko, and Megumi-dono. How would they take this? And Kaoru-dono… His brow furrowed further, as Okami began wrapping his wounds. For that matter, why didn't he remember it?

"Himura-san?"

Kenshin blinked up at Okami. "Oro? I'm sorry, that I am. Did you say something, Okami-dono?"

The woman laughed softly. "So polite tonight. Since when am I Okami-dono?" She smiled at him, tying off the bandages on his side and moving to his shoulder. "Of course, of all the young men here, you've always been the most courteous. One would never guess that you're also the most deadly, hmm?"

The redhead looked away, refusing to meet her eyes. He didn't want her to read his guilt over that seemingly innocent comment.

Most of the other soldiers hardly looked at the innkeeper who boarded them, but even as a youth, Kenshin had taken a liking to her. She was brave, risking everything to help them. Being in such a dangerous situation, she had to have her wits about her. She noticed things. Kenshin didn't doubt that she had already noticed he wasn't quite right, but that was another thing about Okami. She didn't ask questions. She simply accepted what was before her. He was still clearly Himura to her, and he needed bandaging, so that was what she did. The changes in him… well, someone else could deal with that.

She was having a harder time bandaging his shoulder. The bleeding didn't seem to want to stop, no matter how tightly she tied. Finally, she gave up, wrapping it as best she could and then covering it with a second wrapping to help when the blood soaked through. "You've done a number on yourself this time, Himura-san," the woman said in concern. "I'm not used to you having more than a few cuts and scratches." She sat back on her feet, facing him. He still wouldn't look at her.

"Himura-san," she said gently, touching his arm. "You're going to have to change that bandage on your shoulder every hour or so until the bleeding dies down. And you're going to have to talk to Katsura-san."

He finally looked at her, alarmed.

She misunderstood, sending him a stern look. "Listen, Himura-san. I know you're not used to getting hurt, but this time you did. Katsura-san will understand if you can't fight for a few days. The cut in your side is too deep, and the other could permanently damage your sword arm if you try strain it now. You need to rest a little. Believe it or not, you're lucky to have a rare captain who actually seems to care about his soldiers."

She smiled at his surprise, and said, "Yes, Himura-san. Someone _cares_."

"Where is Katsura-san?" Kenshin asked, carefully trying to keep the conversation on neutral ground. He stood.

"I believe he is in his room, taking a meal. You needn't go right at this moment, Himura-san. You should rest first. He'll understand."

Kenshin shook his head and sighed. "No, I need to speak with Katsura-san now… while I can." With that, he bowed, thanking her before he slipped out the door.

* * *

"That was a first," Okita commented lightly, eyeing his quiet, solemn companion, as they entered their headquarters. "Battousai… attacking without killing." 

Saito continued to walk in cold silence next to the leader of the first unit.

Okita raised an eyebrow. "You aren't pleased. I'd have thought you'd be happy that we didn't lose anyone for a change. Well, with you, maybe _happy_ isn't quite the right word."

The boy just smiled back at the older man's glare.

"That wasn't Battousai," Saito finally growled.

The boy's smile faded. "Saito-san? Of course it was Battousai—"

The third unit leader glared at Okita. "No it wasn't. He fought similarly. He looked almost the same. But that was not Himura Battousai. I've fought him before. This man was not him. Older, slower… without the killer's instinct. I could have killed this man." Saito shook his head, frustrated at this puzzle before him.

Okita sighed. "Then why didn't you? I thought you wanted to kill him."

"I want to kill _Battousai_. I want to kill the man who's decimated so many of our men. But that isn't him."

The younger man laughed, "Fine. It isn't him. It's just another man with red hair skilled in battou-jutsu. Because we see so many of those in our profession." He coughed lightly.

Saito scowled. "I don't need your approval on my assessment, Okita. I know what I saw." He paused, then snapped, "And take care of that cough. That's just what we need, you coming down with a cold before an assignment."

* * *

_Author's note: Thanks for reading! And thank you _so _much for all of those great reviews! I still can't believe how many this story gets! Hopefully "Out of Time" will continue to please!_

_As always, thanks for reading and please review! And, of course, have a very Happy New Year!_


	8. Into the Fire

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 8: Into the Fire**  
_

_1878_

Battousai stood just outside the doorway to the Aoi-ya. Sanosuke and Yahiko had disappeared some time ago, and by the sounds of it, were currently arguing somewhere around the corner of the building. He'd gotten the impression that he wasn't supposed to know what they were discussing, and was trying to tune them out.

"Kenshin?"

Battousai turned to see an attractive girl standing behind him in the doorway. He was relieved to realize now that he was fully conscious she really looked nothing like Tomoe at all.

"Kaoru-dono."

She smiled nervously at him. She appeared so worried, he managed to grace her with a faint smile of his own.

"I promised Misao and Okina that I would pick up some tofu and more rice, so that I could cook dinner."

"Okina?"

Kaoru's brow furrowed. "Yes. Misao's grandfather. He owns the Aoi-ya."

"Oh." Apparently Sanosuke had missed someone. How many other people had he forgotten to mention?

Kaoru forced a smile to cover up her worry, not realizing that he could read it in her ki. "Would you like to come with me, Kenshin? Megumi-dono has been saying that fresh air would do you good."

The redhead hesitated, breaking eye contact, and looking instead toward the direction Sanosuke and Yahiko had gone. "I—"

"If you don't feel up to it, that's okay. I'm not picking up much, so I'll be fine. I just thought…" She trailed off. "I'm sorry. You still aren't feeling well, are you? You stay here and rest."

Battousai watched her walk past him down the stairs. Her ki was mixed. He could feel her disappointment, and he hated that she seemed so worried about him. But also, buried under all of her concern, was suspicion. He had a feeling that this girl knew him better than the others. Battousai watched her walk to the street, his mind in turmoil. It was only rice and tofu. He could walk through Kyoto with this girl long enough to buy rice and tofu. Maybe then she would leave him alone.

He quickly slipped down the stairs, catching up and falling into step beside her. "I'll carry the rice," he said in a flat voice. "You shouldn't carry it all yourself." He didn't look at her, but could sense her relaxing a bit.

"Alright," she said. "I can carry the tofu, then. And maybe we can get some salt and soy sauce, too. And—"

_Is she planning on buying the whole marketplace?_

Battousai didn't answer her. They were walking the crowded streets now, and more people than ever were staring at them. Overall, it wasn't surprising, a red-haired man in pink carrying a forbidden sword. But it was hard not to expect a patrol unit to come around a corner. Without thinking, he'd begun leading the way, taking "safe" routes, and staying deeply in the crowd. Kaoru followed quietly until he finally stopped in an almost empty street, and realized that he had no idea where to buy anything in this Kyoto. Frustrated, he turned back to Kaoru, who was sending him a puzzled look. "I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono. I seem to have made a wrong turn."

She smiled, not quite hiding the worry in her eyes. "It's okay, Kenshin. We aren't that far off course." She reached out for his arm to lead him to the market, but he pulled back from her touch as though he'd been burnt. Her smile faded. "Kenshin?"

He tensed, hand tightening on the katana. There it was again. That semi-familiar ki, radiating in the distance with aggression and curiosity. He couldn't tell if it were a friend or an enemy. Remembering his promise to Sano, he released the katana. Now wasn't the time to find out.

"Kenshin?"

"Please lead, Kaoru-dono," he replied softly.

She only nodded, careful not to touch him, and began walking toward the market.

This time he silently followed.

* * *

Sano finally stepped out from behind the building, walking back toward the stairs. "Sorry, Himura," he called. "Yahiko and I just had to discuss a few things." 

Yahiko scowled, following behind. "Yeah, right," he muttered. "_Discuss._" He wasn't watching where he was going and crashed right into Sano who had frozen in his tracks.

"Where is he?" Sano asked, looking around and noticing that his friend was nowhere in sight. Battousai hadn't been comfortable sitting out on the porch. He certainly wouldn't have just wandered anywhere alone in Kyoto. At least… Sano hoped he wouldn't. "Himura!" he called. There was no answer.

"Kuso," he swore, running into the Aoi-ya. He had to be somewhere. No one was in the kitchen to ask, so Sano raced toward Kenshin's room. He slid the door open with a crash, hoping to find the solemn young man.

Empty.

This was bad.

He spun around intending to search the rest of the Aoi-ya. Yahiko stood in the doorway blocking him. "What's your problem?" he asked, suspiciously.

"Get out of the way, rugrat," Sano growled.

Yahiko gritted his teeth, but didn't take the bait. "Why are you so freaked out?"

"He's _missing_, you baka," Sano snapped. "Did you completely _miss _the part where he disappeared on us?"

"So what?" Yahiko asked. "Maybe he went for a walk. If he's related to Kenshin, he can take care of himself. And anyway, Megumi's been saying all morning that he needs fresh air…"

Sano groaned and sank onto the floor, looking sick. "In _Kyoto_. _Him_ take a walk in _Kyoto_? Just a leisurely walk, right?" He began laughing. It was ridiculous.

Yahiko sweatdropped. _Yup, Sano's lost it_…

"Yahiko, he doesn't like being around people. He had a hard time just sitting on the porch with me. He can't just walk around in Kyoto."

"_But why?"_ Yahiko snapped.

"Because, you nosy baka, he's still sick, his mind is set on Bakumatsu, and _he_ never swore a no-kill oath. And now, he's somewhere in Kyoto carrying a katana."

"Oh."

The room fell silent for a moment as they both stared at each other.

Finally Sano stood. "We need to find him."

Yahiko nodded, and let Sano pass, following close behind. "You really think he'll try to kill someone out there?"

Sano looked Yahiko straight in the eye. "If he's trying to protect someone, I think he will."

* * *

Battousai stood alone a short distance away from the marketplace. Someone had been following them all this time, and he got the distinct impression that _he_ was the one this person was interested in. His dark blue gaze scanned across the people. No swords. Not one of them. They were all being good, law abiding citizens. What would they do if someone were to attack them right now? His eyes fell on Kaoru, who was purchasing the tofu. What would _he_ do? He ran his hand over his katana, drawing what comfort he could from it. 

_In Meiji, I break the sword banning act to carry around a sakabatou… Why? What is the point of a reverse blade? If I cannot even properly protect those I love with a katana…_

He paused, forcing thoughts of Tomoe from his mind. _No. This is Meiji, not Bakumatsu. I won't be ambushed here. Kaoru-dono won't be kidnapped. No one will try to use her to get to me. Those times are over._

_Then why do I carry a sakabatou in Meiji?_

He continued to stand in the shadows, watching over her.

* * *

_1865_

Kenshin walked quickly through the quiet halls. It was getting late, and most of the men were either on assignments or in their rooms. It was their agreement with Okami. She would house them as long as they didn't draw attention to her inn. Too many loud men up at all hours of the night could be a problem, and, as she'd said many times before, she didn't run a brothel. There was no explicit rule, but everyone knew that unless you had somewhere to be, Katsura expected his men to retire to their rooms in the evening.

Rarely had this affected Kenshin, who often worked during those hours, but now he felt a certain gratitude to his commander. It meant less of the Ishin-shishi he'd have to deal with as he made his way through the inn. Kenshin's brisk footsteps didn't falter until he neared Katsura's door.

There, he hesitated. Kenshin closed his eyes, collecting his thoughts. It had been Katsura who had first sent Kenshin to murder. Katsura who had turned him into Battousai. But Kenshin had never been forced. He'd accepted Katsura's assignments, knowing what he'd become. And unlike many others, Katsura hadn't just used him. He'd given Kenshin Tomoe as well, and he'd been a strong enough man to know his mistakes, and apologize for them. Even though Kenshin had only been one of his assassins… only a sixteen-year-old boy with no lineage to speak of, Katsura had taken the time to explain. Because of this, Kenshin had highly respected this man, and, although he'd never shown it, had felt deep loss when he'd learned that his commander had died six months ago. Kenshin was still grieving for Katsura, in his own quiet way.

He sighed, not sure if he was ready to face his commander alive again. But he was going to torture himself if he stayed outside the door much longer. Bracing himself, Kenshin knocked.

"Come in."

Kenshin slid the door open, and quietly stepped inside, closing it behind him.

Katsura was alone. The girl, Ikumatsu, who usually accompanied him, had already left.

The young commander looked up from his meal, and upon seeing Kenshin stood, his food forgotten. "Himura! Thank god." He motioned to Kenshin. "Come. Sit."

Kenshin bowed and stepped forward into the light of the lantern, kneeling before him.

Katsura knelt as well. "Ushiro has already given his report. I was relieved to hear you were alive. We were afraid—" He broke off, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter. But I see Ushiro wasn't exaggerating your injuries."

Kenshin was studying the bowls in front of Katsura. "These wounds are nothing," he said softly. "I have felt worse, that I have."

Katsura paused. "Yes, of course."

"How is Ushiro?"

The commander's smile was strained. "He won't be going on any missions for the next few days, but he's just relieved to be alive. We should have expected the ambush. Apparently the spy you killed two nights ago was not alone. They knew about tonight's run."

"And Okami?" Kenshin asked, his eyes on his hands.

"She will be fine. They aren't the only ones with spies," Katsura replied with some grim satisfaction. "Apparently, they never realized that this was our base, because most of our men were in their rooms. They believe this is just an inn we visit sometimes for… company." His expression darkened. "We will have to be careful to keep it that way."

"Then that is how Saito knew I was missing," Kenshin murmured to himself.

Katsura didn't answer, but instead studied his top hitokiri critically. "Himura," he said suddenly. "Why won't you look at me?"

"Katsura-san?" Kenshin's eyes were drawn from his hands up to a moth fluttering helplessly against the dim lantern's shade.

"You haven't once looked at me since you entered this room." His sharp eyes focused on the man before him. "Something's happened to you. You're different… Battousai."

The moth finally found its way to the flame, only to burn. Kenshin turned his eyes toward Katsura. "It isn't something I can explain, Katsura-san. That it is not." His voice grew softer. "And I don't know if you'd believe me, even if I could."

Katsura's dark eyes narrowed as he looked over his hitokiri closely, the lantern's unsteady light reflecting on violet, where there had always been cold blue. Shadows drawing attention to old scars he'd never seen before. The darkness not quite hiding that hitokiri Battousai carried only one sword.

Finally after a long moment, he looked Kenshin straight in the eye. "Try me."

* * *

_Author's note: A few quick notes today. First of all, thanks to t.a.g.0 who pointed out a very important mistake I had in earlier chapters. When trying to calculate dates and ages, I was mostly trying to go off of a mix of real, historical events, the manga and the OVAs, but I was running into some trouble. Most of this was fixed before I posted the story, but as cardinal pointed out earlier, I had miscalculated Battousai's age. T.a.g.0 has recently pointed out that Ruroken takes place in 1878, not 1877. Being that this is a time travel story, dates and ages are important. Thank you both for pointing out these two discrepancies. I have corrected them in all chapters._

_Finally, a few responses to reviewers (because I think I like doing a few of these occasionally):_

_TMarauder: Well, (laughs) there you go. A hint into how Saito knew Battousai was missing._

_Gypsy-chan: Don't worry, Kaoru's definitely going to be in more of the story now!_

_Trunks4: Aoshi is also on his way into the story… But you'll have to wait and see how that turns out._

_Jane Drew: (laughs) You always add these little, insightful (mildly warped, but still correct) versions of my quotes… Love that! Thanks!_

_Star-crystals (and half-breed-demon-fox, for that matter): The story has finally told me, and I know who Kenshin/Battousai will pair up with. All I will say is this: Don't worry!_

_xZig-zagx: You dreamt about my story! Oro! What was the dream about? I'd love to know. (Wow… that's kind of cool…)_

_Night-Owl123: Other stories like mine? Er—do you mean in style or just as time travel Kenshin? There is one called "The Reason" by Becky Tailweaver that is excellent. It has Kenji traveling in time. She has an amazing grasp of Battousai and is honestly and excellent writer. I can't recommend her highly enough. Also, I know of one where Battousai travels to the future and is stuck with his future self called… (sweatdrops) … it's a real story… really. But I just spent ten minutes looking, and I can't find the title anywhere… If anyone knows, please tell us!_

_Fish Head the 3rd: (sweatdrops) I'm glad you like the story… but I get the picture after only a few lines… would you mind limiting the review to only a few lines if you're going to repeat the same thing? Thanks!_

_RumeredGirl: Maybe someday I'll write a "sick Kenshin" one, but I have a lot on the back burner now… We'll see… if an idea inspires me, maybe I'll go with it…_

_Kellen: I'm flattered that you like the story (especially if "switching stories" aren't your type!)_

_Hazey: I certainly wouldn't want Kaoru and Megumi to be _too_ clueless… that wouldn't be in-character…_

_Omasuoniwabanshi: This takes place six months after Tomoe's death. I believe the battle with Saito, Okita and Battousai in the OVA was supposed to be one of the last major battles of Bakumatsu... Toba Fushima maybe... (I could be mistaken), so this would definitely be coming before that… when the tuberculosis was just starting to become apparent…_

_T.a.g.0: Thanks again… and yes, you guessed right…That's exactly who he spotted!_

_Boo-boo-chan: What a weird coincidence. I'm glad you like my version!_

_And to all you other reviewers: I'm sorry I can't respond to you all, but thank you so much for the support! Please keep reading. I hope you liked this chapter. And please review!_

_Sayonara! (Whew! This author's note was waaaay too long!)_


	9. Drawn Sword

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 9: Drawn Sword**  
_

_1878_

Sano and Yahiko ran through Kyoto, Sano leading. Yahiko was breathing hard, trying to keep up with Sano's longer stride. So far there had been no sign of Battousai, not that Sano was surprised. If Battousai didn't want to be seen, he wouldn't be. "Kuso," he cursed under his breath for the hundredth time as he turned a corner. _What the hell had possessed him to wander off?_

"Where do you think he went?" Yahiko asked suddenly, startling Sano out of his thoughts.

"I don't know," he replied, glancing back at the boy and almost crashing into two men in the crowd.

"Well, how are we supposed to find him?"

"I don't know, Yahiko," Sano growled. "Enough with the questions."

"Well, what good are you, then?" Yahiko snapped.

"Shut up and look at the people, kid."

They turned another corner and skidded to a stop. "How the hell…?" Sano looked around in confusion. They were back at the Aoi-ya.

"This is what I get for following you," Yahiko muttered, sweatdropping.

Sano gritted his teeth and glared at the boy, a vein throbbing in his head. "What did you say?" he asked, making a fist.

Yahiko looked unimpressed. "Let's try the marketplace. Maybe Okina sent him for food. Kaoru managed to burn almost everything they had this morning."

"Fine," Sano muttered, walking down the street.

Yahiko didn't follow. "You're going the wrong way, rooster head." He turned and began walking in the opposite direction.

Sano contemplated strangling the boy for a moment, before thinking better of it. They needed to find Battousai right now, and whether or not he wanted to admit it, Yahiko had an excellent sense of direction. "Little brat," Sano muttered, as he turned and followed.

* * *

Battousai sighed, leaning against a building as Kaoru made her final purchases. He was already surrounded by tofu, salt, rice and soy sauce. Now, she was apparently buying a new pot to make up for the one she'd damaged making the soup this morning. He was getting bored. If it weren't for the fact that he was being watched, he'd probably have dropped his guard awhile ago. His sharp eyes scanned the area. There was so much energy here that it was hard for him to pinpoint anyone. Coming here had been a bad idea. He certainly hadn't eased any of the girl's suspicions. 

He sighed, looking around at the load surrounding him. He had a funny feeling that Kaoru-dono would not be carrying most of this.

"Leave me alone!"

The redhead's attention immediately focused. He turned to see a large, drunken man grab Kaoru and pull her toward him, his friend laughing beside him. Battousai tensed, ready to intervene, when she squirmed out of his grasp, and cracked him hard with the pot she was holding.

The man howled in pain and staggered backwards, holding his face.

Battousai just stared. That girl was more dangerous than she looked. Not that hitting a man two feet taller than her was particularly a good idea… His hand tightened on the hilt of his katana. This was going to get ugly.

The second man grabbed Kaoru, twisting her arm behind her back as the first came forward, his broken nose bleeding freely. He raised his hand, intending to hit her.

Battousai came at him out of nowhere. One second the two men were on their feet, the next, both lay on the ground.

"Kenshin!" Kaoru cried, moving toward him. She stopped when she saw the deadly look in his eyes. "Kenshin?"

"Please move, Kaoru-dono." His voice was like ice, and he stood, frozen, his sheathed sword in his hand. He would hold true to his promise to Sanosuke. He would not draw the katana unless the need arose. But that didn't mean he couldn't use the sheath itself.

Already the men were on their feet, moaning as they got up. They were quick, for such big men, but they would never be fast enough.

"Get out of here." Battousai's voice was low and warning. He would give them one chance. That was all they deserved.

The one with the broken nose looked him over, this small, thin redhead, and snorted, causing the blood to flow worse. "The hell I will. You think you're a big man because you carry a katana around, kid?" He drew a concealed cane sword. "Let's see how well you can use it."

Battousai's eyes narrowed. This was what happened when weapons were abolished. The corrupt would never submit. It was only the weak who suffered. And now there would be no one to protect them.

The second man was on his feet, but after one good look at Battousai, he froze. "Let's go, Hiroshi. You don't want to fight this guy."

Hiroshi scowled. "Coward."

"But, Hiroshi… _look_ at him. Don't you recognize—?"

"If you're too afraid to fight, then back off. I don't need you to beat this little punk." He laughed crudely, turning back to the expressionless youth. "Think you know how to use a sword because some cheap dojo taught you to swing around a shinai? You Meiji brats don't know anything about swords. They're just toys to you. Let me show you what a real sword does. I'll to slit you open and watch you bleed. Then, I'm gonna take your little girl here—"

"Hiroshi! Don't mess with him!" The terror in his friend's voice was unmistakable. He hadn't taken his eyes off of the small redhead once, and he'd seen the dangerous amber glint when Hiroshi had threatened the girl. "I mean it! He's—"

"Shut up!"

Battousai leveled his cold gaze on the drunk, considering. He could continue to fight with the sheath, but not if he was going to protect Kaoru-dono as well. He tried one final time in his flat voice. "Listen to your friend, Hiroshi. I don't want to kill you."

"You're the one who's gonna die!" the man yelled, charging at him.

Battousai sighed and in one fluid motion finally drew his katana and bore down on the fool who would provoke him.

* * *

_1865_

Katsura had listened silently through Kenshin's entire explanation. Now the hitokiri—no… the ex-hitokiri had fallen silent, waiting for his commander to say something. Katsura wasn't sure if he was ready to speak. The entire story had been ridiculous. Traveling from the future by falling into a river? And all because of some boy? Katsura would have had to be a fool to believe it. Nevertheless… he did. The man he'd been listening to wasn't the cold, expressionless youth whom Katsura was used to dealing with. There was a passion in his voice now. A warmth in his eyes. And even in the dim light, Katsura could see the physical changes dealt by time that had turned that damaged boy into a mature adult. Most importantly, he was no longer a drawn sword. Was no longer allowing himself to be used as a souless weapon. This Kenshin was human.

Yet at the same time… it was still Himura. After thirteen years, some of Battousai remained in his looks and mannerisms. And from what he'd heard from Ushiro, time hadn't weakened his skills much either.

"Katsura-san," Kenshin said softly, drawing his commander's attention again. "I know it is hard to believe, but I need you to trust me." He knitted his brows. "I have to find a way back home, that I do. There are people waiting for me. If I die here…" He trailed off, worry creeping into his voice.

Katsura smiled, looking back up at the soft-spoken redhead. That had been the first time he'd _ever_ heard Kenshin speak as though he truly had something to live for. Yes… Tomoe had once been his reason to live, but she'd also become a reason to die. Katsura was not so much of a fool to not realize where his top hitokiri went on his days off. A grave and a bridge.

He finally spoke. "I'm glad to hear you have someone waiting for you." Katsura's expression softened at Kenshin's startled look. "After what has happened…" He looked troubled for a moment, but smiled again to cover it. "I've worried about you… about what's happened to you. Especially recent events." He sighed. This felt strange to him. This was the sort of thing he would discuss with Ikumatsu, not one of his men. Then again, this Kenshin probably hadn't been one of his men in a long time.

"Katsura-san?"

He tried again. "I was warned when I first took you as an assassin that such work would destroy you. But I chose to take that risk, because I needed you for the cause. And Takasugi was right. You'd begun withdrawing into yourself so much, I was concerned we were losing you. That you might finally snap. That was why I asked Tomoe to be your sheath. You were as likely to destroy your own life as you were to end the lives others. And when she died…"

"Please stop," Kenshin said softly.

Katsura paused, surprised by the intense emotion in Kenshin's eyes. He nodded. "Yes. I'm sorry. Thirteen years is not such a long time when dealing with these things, is it?"

Kenshin turned toward the lantern. There was a distant look in his eyes. "Things are different now," he said firmly. "I have someplace where I am wanted not for my skills, but for me. And they would be upset if I didn't return. I need to go home. For them. I don't like making them worry." He smiled a faint, tired smile. "I've made them all worry far too often already."

"Worry means they care, Himura. That's good."

Kenshin didn't answer, his distant eyes icing over.

Katsura sighed. Kenshin had changed, but in so many ways, that boy was still the same. He could still shut himself off at a moment's notice. An excellent quality in a hitokiri, but it wouldn't help in this situation. "You should rest, Himura. It has been a long evening. We will discuss sending you home in the morning."

For a moment, Kenshin's eyes widened in distress over having to wait another night. Katsura almost thought he was going to argue. But Kenshin merely bowed his head and submitted to his commander's wishes. He stood and walked to the door, pausing a moment before opening it, and turning back. "Katsura-san."

"Yes?"

Kenshin was looking down, his face in shadow. "I have always respected your wishes as a commander, Katsura-san, that I have." He paused. "But sending a child to kill, turning him into a drawn sword… Even for the noblest purposes… That is not right."

Katsura didn't answer.

"A sword's purpose is to kill. I have always known that, even as I became one. But I now see that a sword can also protect. I am still a drawn sword, Katsura-san. That will not change." He slid his sakabatou partway from its sheath, so it glinted in the wavering light. "But I am a different sword now. I am a sword that does not kill. That never kills."

"Himura…"

Kenshin looked up at him. His eyes were once again a warm violet, and there was a sad smile on his lips. "I do not blame you for turning me into Battousai. You were not the only one who was warned about the effects of murder on my soul. I made my own choice, and I will live with my decision. You have your own worries right now. You do not need to carry around my burdens as well as your own. That is all." He bowed again and turned, preparing to leave.

"Himura."

"Yes, Katsura-san?"

Katsura paused a moment. "Goodnight, Himura. I hope you sleep well."

Kenshin just smiled and slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind him, and leaving Katsura to his thoughts.

* * *

_Author's note: My goal for the day… to make this author's note shorter than the last one!_

_A few responses to reviewers:_

_CrypticMaidenRK: This is set after the Kyoto arc, but before Jinchuu… so Kenshin knows the final attack, but hasn't met Enishi again. I have not read Jinchuu yet, and although a few reviewers have shown me where I can access it, I have finally made the decision not to read Jinchuu until I'm done with "Out of Time." Mainly because I know how most of this story is going to go, and by reading that, it could seriously confuse my current storyline. I'm sorry if that will bother some of you. But I needed to let you know. The only Jinchuu I will acknowledge is what I already know from the final OVA. And about Aoshi... he'll turn up… don't worry!_

_Boo-boo-chan: Okami is not my creation. She is the innkeeper from the OVA, Trust and Betrayal. I don't know if she's mentioned by name in there, but I looked it up, and that's what they call her. And there will be more Kaoru, Megumi and Misao. ( - - laughs - - a lot of people concerned about Kenshin-gumi and the Oniwaban-shu!)_

_Jane Drew: Yay! Someone noticed the flame/ moth! - - does happy dance - -_

_MZ. AMbER EYES: Battousai doesn't really know Kenshin-gumi very well. Give him time. He may be a great assassin, but at the same time, he's just a frightened boy._

_Sailor-Earth13: Yay! Yes, "Past and Future" by Hitokiri-san was the other story I was looking for. _

_Night Owl123: Above is the title I was struggling to remember last chapter. You have Sailor-Earth13 to thank for finding it!_

_To all other reviewers: Thanks again for your thoughtful reviews!_

_There you go… just a little this time, because I have to get to work, and I want to get this posted for you. Thank you so much for reading. And thanks for the _fantastic_ reviews! Wow! I've never had so many great reviewers before! It makes writing this story so much more fun! Sayonara!_


	10. The Mind of a Killer

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 10: The Mind of a Killer**  
_

_1865_

Kenshin stood on the bridge, gazing out over the still waters at the crescent moon. It took him a moment to realize that he wasn't alone. A man stood next to him, leaning casually against the rail. As Kenshin's eyes slowly adjusted to the dark, he recognized the figure beside him. Sanosuke. Kenshin blinked a couple of times and rubbed his eyes, but Sano was still solidly there.

"Sano?" Kenshin asked.

His friend turned and grinned at him. "The moon's somethin' tonight, isn't it?"

Kenshin nodded silently. He couldn't think of words to express how relieved he was that the fighter was alright. He'd been worrying about his friend since the fall, and had been privately blaming himself for anything that might have happened to him.

"You okay, Kenshin? You seem kinda quiet."

Kenshin smiled, and leaned against the rail beside him. "I'm alright, that I am. I was just worried about you. When you didn't come out of the water…"

Sano just grinned. "What? You thought I was dead or something? You think a fall like that could kill me? Didn't last time."

Kenshin blinked up at him. "Last time?" he asked. "What do you mean?"

The fighter shrugged. "Doesn't matter. That's not why we're out here, right?" He sent Kenshin a quick look. "It's not why _you're_ here, is it?"

The redhead shook his head. This wasn't making any sense to him. "Why _are_ we here?" He looked around, suddenly taking in his surroundings. The peaceful waters were gone. So was the bridge for that matter, and Sano. Kenshin was alone in the middle of a forest. But where _was_ he? The area looked so familiar… He stood silently as snow fell gently around him.

And he remembered.

Otsu.

There were footsteps. Someone was coming for him. Kenshin tensed, ready for anything. Perhaps not quite ready for the form that materialized from the trees. He blinked his wide, startled eyes. "Saito?"

The tall, lean wolf stepped into the clearing, dressed in his dark blue police uniform, a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth. There was an animalistic glint in his eyes. "So, Battousai. Shall we finish this?" He threw the cigarette down and drew his sword, moving into the Gatotsu stance.

Kenshin was frozen in place. "Saito…" he whispered. "Why are you here in Otsu? Why _now_?"

Saito sneered at him, his amber eyes narrowing. "Why not? You've gotten weak, Battousai, because you hide behind your pathetic no-kill oath and that useless sword."

"Saito—"

"Fight me! Stop hiding and fight. Here. Now. This is your haunting ground, Battousai. Where your demons come out to play. This is where you need to fight if you want the win to matter."

"In Otsu?" This was too much.

"No." Saito growled. "In your mind." The time for words was over. The former Shinsengumi leader was in motion, moving so quickly that in the soft moonlight his clothing blurred to a pale blue, and he was almost the third unit leader again.

The former hitokiri barely managed to dodge the blade. However, he readied himself for battou-jutsu before Saito had turned. As Saito bore down on him again, Kenshin drew his blade, moving at an amazing speed. Both came out with nothing more than scratches.

Saito smirked, brushing the blood from his face. "Better."

"Why are you doing this, Saito?" Kenshin asked darkly, prepared for the next blow. "You aren't one of my demons."

"Perhaps, but you're holding one of them in your hand."

Kenshin's eyes turned to his drawn blade. A true katana. He paled, feeling sick. "No."

The tall man was in position again, his expression serious. "Fight."

"No…" Kenshin's voice was barely a whisper as he dropped the blade. "I... can't…"

The older man scowled. "You can't do anything, then. How can you protect anyone when you can't even face the demons of your past? You deserve to die!"

Kenshin didn't deny it. He closed his eyes and sheathed his sword. He would not be a hitokiri again. He would not use a katana. He would die first. It was better that way.

Saito's blade bit into his shoulder, but without the force Kenshin had expected. Something had blocked the blow. His eyes snapped open to find Saito gone, and a figure slumped on the ground before him, turning the snow beneath her into red slush.

His heart stopped. Everything seemed to stop.

"Tomoe…" he whispered brokenly, falling to his knees in the snow beside her still form. Gently, he turned her, so her face was out of the snow.

It wasn't Tomoe.

"Kaoru…no!"

* * *

Kenshin jerked awake, sweat pouring down his face. For one terrifying moment, he had no idea where he was. Everything around him was black. Finally he began making out shapes in the room around him. Stacks of books. A futon. A fresh gi and hakama that Okami must have laid out earlier. 

_Okami. That's right._ This was his room in the Kohagi Inn that Okami had rebuilt. It was Bakumatsu.

Kaoru-dono would not be here. She was safe. It was just a dream.

Kenshin rubbed his eyes with one hand, brushing some of the stinging sweat from his eyes. Perhaps not only sweat. His hand was shaking.

A dream. That's all it was. But it had felt too real. Tentatively, he felt under the bandages on his shoulder. He swallowed hard, running his fingers along an old scar very near his new wound. One of the only scars he couldn't remember getting. Exactly where Saito's blade had just struck him…

It wasn't real. Couldn't have been. He looked around the room for support. Again his eyes fell on the futon, and Kenshin realized _exactly_ where he was. The wall solidly supporting his back. The sakabatou safely in his hands.

Kenshin slumped forward, letting the sakabatou support a body he seemed to have lost control over. He couldn't deal with this anymore.

Because the nightmare he was living scared him worse than the one from which he'd just awoken.

* * *

_1878_

Sanosuke and Yahiko could tell something was happening even before they'd entered the marketplace. The people were crowding, forming a tight mob around some display. Sano already knew who would be at the center of the crowd, and by the look on Yahiko's face, he knew as well. There were no police in sight, although Sano was sure that wouldn't hold much longer. The two began forcing their way through the crowd. Sano pushed in front just in time to see Battousai draw his katana.

"_NO_!" he shouted. He could hear Kaoru cry Kenshin's name out as well, but it was no use. The moment the youth had drawn his sword the fight was over, and the huge man lay bleeding on the ground. Sano grimaced, not wanting to imagine how they would explain this death to the police. Then a worse thought struck him. "How are we gonna explain this to Kenshin?" he whispered. "Knowing that baka, he'll treat it as having broken his no-kill oath and he'll run again."

Yahiko stared at him. "It's not like _Kenshin_ killed the guy. It's not _his_ fault."

Sano stared blankly at the boy for a moment before he remembered that as far as Yahiko knew, this man _wasn't_ Kenshin. "Yeah… right…" he mumbled out.

"But what if the _police_ think Kenshin did it?" Yahiko added thoughtfully. "I mean, they look a lot alike."

Sano didn't get a chance to answer. Battousai had sheathed his weapon and was walking swiftly toward them.

The crowd behind Sano pushed back.

"I am sorry, Sanosuke, but I did not break my promise," Battousai said softly. "He threatened Kaoru-dono. I had to draw my sword."

"You _killed _him," Sano hissed.

Battousai just stared with that disturbingly emotionless mask in place. "So much faith in me," he finally said.

"Faith! You—"

"Broke some ribs, probably. He should see a doctor." Having effectively silenced Sano, the youth effortlessly slipped through the crowd, even as the fallen man began to stir.

Sano looked between Battousai's retreating form and his victim. Then he noticed Kaoru standing wide-eyed and alone. "Yahiko," he snapped, "Make sure Jou-chan's okay. I need to talk to Himura."

Before Yahiko could protest, Sano was off, shoving his way through the crowd.

"Wait a minute!" Yahiko yelled after him, spotting Kaoru's purchases. "That means I have to carry everything!"

Sano ignored him and kept moving. He spotted the redhead just at the edge of the marketplace. "Himura!" he called.

The boy stopped without turning. Sano pushed through the last few people and finally caught up. He moved to face his friend. "I don't get it," he said, a little out of breath. "How did you do it? Kenshin only _has _one sakabatou, and I was hoping it was still with him."

Battousai wouldn't look at him, instead watching a couple of police officers finally appear to break up the crowd. "I still have my katana," he said softly. "But it's a simple matter to flip the blade."

Sano stared at him as his words sunk in. "You flipped… But _why_? You're Hitokiri Battousai. Why would you even _think_ to flip it?"

The youth looked at him with tired, haunted eyes. "So, I'm Hitokiri Battousai again," he said softly. "That's all it took." He laughed a little bitterly. "That's all it ever takes. Watch my blade, and make me your sword."

Sano grimaced. "That's not what I meant, Himura. You aren't just a sword. You're a person just like I am."

Battousai's dark eyes flashed as his mask began to fail him. "I am _nothing _like you, Sagara. I am a sword. A weapon to be used. I just wondered…" He faltered there for a moment.

"Wondered what?"

"How it would feel for once to be a blade that doesn't kill." The boy turned from a silent Sano and continued walking toward the Aoi-ya.

Neither of them noticed the wolf watching from the shadows.

* * *

_Author's note: Thanks again for reading, and definitely thanks for the reviews!_

_Speaking of reviewers…_

_MZ. AMbER EYES: Actually, I used to like Kaoru waaay more, but I've had to watch _Trust and Betrayal_ a few times to write this story and another I'm working on. It's funny. Each time I watch it I like Tomoe more and more. I think I'm at the point where I almost like them equally. As to Kenshin's choice… It was never really a comparison for him. Tomoe died before he had Kaoru. He's loved them both, in his own way. But Battousai has only just met Kaoru. He doesn't know what to think of her yet! And he only just lost his wife a few months ago…_

_WhiteRabbit5: Glad I made you dwell on the sword ban. - - laughs - - That's cool. And thanks for catching the grammar mistake. I don't have a beta, so I do all the editing and such myself. It helps when reviewers catch my oopsies!_

_Animeinsomniac: - - blushes - - Wow… I'm totally flattered. Thanks. I don't really know what else to say…_

_Babika: Glad it cheered you up!_

_Autumn's Fire: I always love to hear when people like this story who don't usually like this type. Makes me feel like I've accomplished something. Thanks!_

_NightOwl123: Now, what makes you think Kenshin's getting out of things _that_ easily?_

_Sailor-Earth13: Got the review. That's weird about your history… I'm glad you liked the chapter!_

_To all my reviewers: Thanks for the thoughtful reviews. I hope the story continues to live up to expectations. I get that terrified fluttery butterflies feeling every time I post the new chapter. Nice to know they've all worked so far. Thanks again!_

_I need to go now. Just picked up my copy of Seisouhen: Director's Cut (AKA Samurai X: Reflections: Director's Cut), with about 40 extra minutes and I'm dying to watch it. (YAY!)_

_Sayonara!_


	11. Aftermath

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 11: Aftermath**  
_

_1878_

Battousai's ki had been off since Saito had first spotted the redhead. Enough to be intriguing. Worth watching. But this… _this_ had added a new complication. Battousai had moved fast against that fool, but those who could match him could also _see_ him move. And Saito had _seen_ Battousai change his attack halfway. Had _seen_ him reverse his blade, forcing the smooth attack into a weak mockery of what it should have been. Which meant Himura Battousai was fighting with a true katana. And that was, of course, impossible.

Had Battousai finally snapped, or, as the flipped blade suggested, was this something entirely different? Saito's amber eyes narrowed as he lit a cigarette and observed the scene. The Kyoto police were trying to break up the crowd, uncertain what had caused it. They really weren't prepared to deal with Battousai, even if they were to figure things out.

Saito shifted his gaze to the retreating figures of the flame-haired man and that rooster, Sanosuke. No, the Kyoto police force would have no idea how to deal with him. Confronting him would leave them in a condition similar to Hiroshi's… if they were lucky. Saito snorted. No… for their own sakes, he would leave the naïve puppies chasing their tails.

He turned away and began walking between the buildings. There were more important things for him to deal with at the moment. Lifting the cigarette to his lips with one white-gloved hand, he inhaled deeply before casually blowing the smoke out.

Battousai with a katana again. And with a killer's instinct. Even if he _had_ been hesitant enough to be merciful, he smelled of blood. Where was his rurouni oath now? It didn't make sense. And for men like Saito Hajime, there had to be a logic to everything.

He flung the cigarette into the shadows. Let the weak dogs of Kyoto chase their tails as useless government pets. If his suspicions were correct, then this wolf had far more important prey.

* * *

As much as Sano would have liked to just chase Battousai down, and shake some sense into him, he managed to refrain. The kid probably wanted to be alone for awhile. And Fox Lady really needed to know about this in case he'd reopened any wounds again. Sano's steps slowed. Not that he really wanted to be in the room to see Megumi's reaction to this. He sighed. The stuff he did for that kid. 

Sano walked through the inn, dodging people as he tried to get to the fox's room.

"Hey!" a voice from behind him suddenly shouted, stopping him in his tracks. "What's wrong with Himura?"

The fighter turned to see Misao standing in one of the doorways.

He sent her a puzzled look.

She came up to him, and said quietly, "He came in not long before you did, and he looked real upset. I've never seen him like that except when he's fighting."

Sano winced. "Where is he now?"

"In his room." Misao cocked her head to the side and sent Sano an assessing look. "He looked a lot like Aoshi-sama does when he's upset about something." She paused thoughtfully. "Too bad Aoshi-sama isn't here now. I'm sure he'd have talked to Himura about whatever's troubling him!"

"When does Aoshi come back, anyway?" Sano cut in, worried. He had forgotten about the ex-leader of the Oniwaban-shu. Great thing to slip his mind. Especially now of all times.

"Either tonight or tomorrow," Misao replied, happily hugging herself. "He's going to send message by carrier pigeon, so I know and can meet him on his way back!"

Sano groaned, not nearly as enthusiastic. Terrible mental images of Aoshi and Battousai fighting _again_ flashed through Sanosuke's head. Except this time it involved a lot more bloodshed, and probably at least one dead body. "Great," he muttered. Something else to worry about. And speaking of reasons to worry… He forced himself to focus on the original problem. "Where's Megumi?"

"In the kitchen," Misao replied. She began tagging behind him as he walked away. "Wait a minute! You didn't tell me what happened to Himura!"

He didn't answer.

It was nearly suppertime, and the kitchen was bustling with activity, making it hard to find anyone in there. Sano was tempted to forget about it and just treat Battousai himself when he spotted Megumi making soup with the few supplies they had left. Sighing, Sano trudged over to her, Misao trailing behind, whining, "Tell me, tell me, tell me!"

Megumi looked up, raising an eyebrow at his dark expression. "Well, if it isn't the rooster. What's wrong now?"

Sano bit back a retort, instead jumping right in. "You might want to check on Kenshin," he muttered.

Her smirk faded. "What? Why? Is Ken-san alright?"

He sighed. "He looks fine, but…" He paused. "Listen, it isn't my fault! I don't know what he was doing in the marketplace. Maybe Kaoru talked him into it. She's the one he was fighting over."

"He left the Aoi-ya?" Megumi exclaimed, her voice raising.

The kitchen went silent.

"Where were you when this happened? You said you'd _watch_ him." She hit him with her spoon.

"I was trying to get Yahiko off his back! The little brat was bothering him," Sano snapped. "Come on. Give me a break. You know Kenshin. If he doesn't want you around, then it doesn't take much for him to lose you." He glared at her. "And anyway… _you're _the one who's been saying all morning that he needed fresh air—"

"Sitting on the steps is fine," Megumi said. "I didn't mean for him to walk around Kyoto getting into street brawls with you."

"I wasn't _there_!" he growled. "Why doesn't anyone ever believe me?"

"Because you're the idiot who dumped him into the river in the first place. Am I supposed to believe that _Kaoru_ lured him into a fight?"

The air was so tense that sparks were practically shooting from their angry eyes.

Yahiko burst into the kitchen then, hauling rice, salt and soy sauce, oblivious to the tension in the air. "Do you have to buy everything at once, Kaoru? How does Kenshin carry all this stuff?" He walked between Sano and Megumi, ignoring their anger, and dumped everything down without waiting for Kaoru's answer. "I'll tell Okina we got everything," he muttered and left.

Kaoru was only a few steps behind him, quietly setting down the tofu and the slightly dented pot she'd purchased.

Sano motioned to their load. "See? Look. They were at the market, just like I said!"

Megumi smacked the fighter with her spoon again to shut him up. "Kaoru," she said, turning to the girl and drawing her attention, "please tell me you had the common sense not to take Ken-san to the market with you earlier."

The younger girl sent Megumi a startled look. "Of course I took him. Sano and Yahiko weren't around, and I promised to buy rice and tofu for Okina. Anyway, _you're _the one who's been saying that Kenshin needs fresh air."

Megumi threw her hands in the air. "Is this that the only thing I said that you people listened to?"

Kaoru gritted her teeth, pulling out of her quiet worry for the first time that day and finally acting more like herself. "Well, you _were _all over him at the time. Maybe if you'd leave Kenshin alone, I'd listen to you more!"

"I'm his _doctor_!"

"Then treat him, and stop _flirting_ with him!"

"I can't help it if Ken-san knows a real woman when he sees one!"

"A _real_ woman—?"

Misao was watching the two women with a mixed expression of confusion and intrigue on her face.

Sano took this as a good time to slip out and find Battousai. His job was done here, anyway. Especially now that the girls were bickering again. He slunk away, and as soon as he was out of hitting range, made a dash for the door. They didn't even notice.

Now for the harder task. Sano made his way down the halls, stopping in front of Battousai's door and knocking.

There was a long pause before Battousai finally said, "Come in."

Sano entered and slid the door shut behind him. Battousai was changing his bandages again, for the first time revealing the full extent of his wounds. The tall man stared, taken by surprise. He'd seen a number of his injuries in the past day, but hadn't thought much of them. Sure, Battousai had been bandaged, and the wounds across his chest and back had been bad. But now Sano could see the slices in his arms, and the gash in his shoulder as well. This wasn't the usual wear and tear of a fighter. The strangest part was that the boy had very little old scar tissue anywhere except on his face. These were wounds that he seemed to have acquired all at once. It looked like he'd been ambushed somewhere. But how had anyone been able to ambush _him_?

"Was there something you wanted, Sagara?"

Sanosuke looked up to see intense blue eyes staring at him. Sano looked away. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he muttered. "I know I upset you back there."

"I'm fine." From the corner of his eye, Sano could see the youth go back to his bandages.

"You don't look fine," Sano said. "You look like someone tried to kill you. And it looks like they almost did it, too."

"I am a hitokiri. Since when are wounds on a hitokiri unusual?"

"When they're on you," Sano snapped. He finally walked in the rest of the way, and sat in front of his friend. "Listen, Himura. I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't mean to make it sound like you're only some killer. I was just taken by surprise. You weren't willing to give up the katana earlier, and you wouldn't promise to keep it in its sheath. What did you expect me to think except that you'd use it to kill if necessary?"

Battousai didn't answer him, wrapping the wound on his shoulder. Sano watched closely. It looked almost like claws had bit into his skin. And he had another wound near his neck that seemed to have come from some sort of dart. "You were attacked by ninjas, weren't you?" he asked, understanding now. It suddenly occurred to Sano that perhaps taking Battousai to the old Oniwaban-shu base might not have been one his better ideas after all.

"It isn't your concern, Sagara." There was a warning tone to the youth's voice that Sano completely ignored.

"Yes, it is. Friends help—"

Battousai looked up with such coldness, that Sano's words froze in the air. "Listen, Sagara," he said softly. "Thank you for helping me. But you do not want to be my friend. People who are close to me…" he hesitated, looking for the right words. "They don't last long. Do you understand?"

Sano scowled. "No. I don't."

"They're used, or kidnapped, or killed. And those are the people I can't ever protect. No one's safe in the end. It's better if you don't make yourself a target. Now, please leave, Sagara. I am fine."

It was the last straw for Sano. That boy was punishing himself for something he would only hint at, and the fighter couldn't take it anymore. Someone had to knock some sense into him. Sano's fist hit the redhead in the jaw before it even occurred to him that the boy still had his katana. It wasn't a very hard punch, but he caught the youth by surprise and dropped him.

The boy sat up, holding his face, too surprised to even be angry. His wide blue eyes staring at Sano in quiet shock.

"You idiot," Sanosuke growled softly. "Snap out of it! I don't know what's happened to you, but do you really think you're the only person who's lost someone? Kaoru, Yahiko and Misao have all lost their parents. No one has been able to locate Megumi's family. And there are others here, who've lost friends and family as well."

"And I'm the one who takes them away, Sagara. Don't you get that? I am Hitokiri Battousai, just as you said." The boy's voice softened. "I've killed hundreds, and for every life I've taken, I've destroyed a dozen others. I can't atone for that."

"The hell you can't," Sano snapped, drawing the youth's attention again. "You want to know my story? I was only seven when I joined the Sekihotai. Captain Sagara was like an older brother to me. He practically raised me for the next year as we did the dirty work of the Ishin-shishi. In the end, they lied, betrayed and slaughtered us. Then, as if that wasn't enough, they displayed the captain's head for everyone to see as a message. I hated them for it. Every last one of them. And since I couldn't do anything about it, I directed my hatred where I could, at myself, and at a name…"

"Battousai." The boy's voice was barely audible.

"Yeah," Sano said. "Battousai. Strongest of the patriots. I thought if I could kill him, then I'd have paid the Ishin-shishi back for what they did to us." He laughed darkly. "I was stupid. And it took a good man to snap me out of it. And you know, the funny thing is that it wasn't his sword that saved me in the end. It was his words. He told me that the revolution isn't over. That there are still people to fight for. To protect. And suddenly I realized that this man was just like Captain Sagara. And I made the decision then that _he_ was someone to fight for."

Battousai was silent for a moment before quietly responding, "He sounds like quite a man, but what does this have to do with—?"

Sano leaned back and smirked. "That was right around the time he told me to call him Himura Kenshin, not Battousai."

The boy's eyes widened a fraction.

"Yeah. It was you. So don't you dare give me any of this bullshit about how you're just a hitokiri and how it's better if we aren't your friends. Saving us wasn't easy. You had to earn our trust, and our respect. Then you still had to save some of us from ourselves… our pasts. You _save _people, Himura. And you don't need a sword to do it. There's your atonement." Sanosuke smiled a little. "And to tell you the truth, I've never known anyone who can talk someone out of death like you can, kid."

Battousai wasn't looking at him anymore. He was staring down at his hands. "The sakabatou," he murmured, trying to take it all in. "That's why…"

"Himura?"

The redhead didn't look up. "Nothing. I was just thinking out loud." He paused, changing the subject. "I'm sorry about your loss, Sanosuke. About the captain. He was… displayed not far from Kyoto. I saw it a few nights ago. I'm sorry."

Sano shook his head. "Forget it. It was a long time ago. I've already thought about it too much." He stood up. "Anyway, I just thought you should know all that. I'll leave you alone now. Just think about what I said." He walked to the door and slid it open.

"So, I really saved someone?" the boy asked suddenly, looking up.

Sano glanced back at him. "Yeah."

The boy looked tired, but he managed that gentle smile of his. "I'm glad," he murmured. "That night you found me... I tried to talk someone off of a bridge. But _he_ didn't make it."

"Himura..."

Battousai wasn't listening, caught up in the memory. "He kept talking about how he'd lost everything. How he had no reason to live anymore." The youth smiled faintly. "He was only a boy. I wish I could have given him a reason."

Sano's eyes widened, and he grabbed the doorframe. "What? You mean—"

He was cut off by Misao yelling down the hall. "Hey, rooster! Megumi wants you. I'd get over here before she kills Kaoru!"

"In a minute!" he yelled back. "Himura, listen—"

"Sanosuke!" Misao hollered again, closer this time.

He gritted his teeth. "I said _in a minute!_"

"You should go," Battousai said softly. "I need to finish up here, anyway." He picked up the bandages again.

Sano hesitated. "Right. But we'll talk later, Himura." At the youth's short nod, Sano stepped out of the room, and slid the door shut behind him, meeting up with the chattering weasel in the hall. As she led the way back to the kitchen, Sano was oblivious to everything, except for one thought running through his mind… that his swordsman, the man who had saved his life years ago … had been Battousai.

* * *

_1865_

Kenshin was already awake at sunrise. That dream had chased any chance of sleep away. Instead, he'd sat awake trying to keep his mind off of Kaoru. But every time he closed his eyes, he'd see her body slumped in the snow. It hadn't been worth dragging himself back to the futon. He'd just stayed with his back against the wall, clutching his sakabatou, and trying to ignore the fact that with each passing hour in this place he felt more and more like hitokiri Battousai. When dawn had finally arrived, Kenshin was not the same man he'd been when he'd entered this room. And he was afraid.

Golden rays of sun crept into his room, banishing the shadows from everywhere but his mind. Kenshin focused his dark eyes on the softly glowing sky outside. It was morning. He had to get up. Katsura would expect to see him soon. He stretched and started to stand, instantly regretting it. All of his muscles were protesting the movement after several hours of stillness. The wound at his side felt as though it were on fire. Not to mention that he felt almost too weak and dizzy to stand. Kenshin glanced down at the scarlet soaked bandages on his shoulder. He'd allowed himself to lose too much blood. Okami was going to kill him if he didn't change his bandages soon. Once every hour, she'd said. Even in his state, Kenshin managed a weak smile. He certainly didn't want to risk her wrath, and he hadn't thought to change them once since he'd finished his talk with Katsura.

Thoughts of his commander, and his promise to try to send Kenshin home were enough for him to attempt standing again. This time he let the wall support his back, and made the sakabatou take some of his weight. It wasn't so bad. The room wasn't spinning as much, and as long as he moved slowly, he felt steadier. He just had to ignore the stiffness and the pain. Of course, pain he was used to. But the stiffness… Kenshin managed another weak smile. That just made him feel old.

Near the door were fresh bandages along with his clothes. Kenshin changed his wrappings with the speed and skill of someone who was experienced in such things. The blood-soaked bandages were placed in a pile on the torn gi that Hiko had given him. Kenshin then reached for the fresh clothing Okami had left for him. A Choshu Ishin-shishi uniform. Hesitantly, he brushed his fingers against the dark blue gi and sighed. What had he expected? Okami to let him walk around in his torn and bloodstained clothes from last night?

Slowly, the ex-hitokiri dressed himself, careful of his wounds. The clothes felt heavy, as though the weight of a hundred deaths clung to the material as well. The gi was clean and carefully mended, but Kenshin could almost smell the blood on it. How many people had he killed wearing this? He swiped a comb through his hair a few times, enough to pull out the tangles and make it presentable, then tied it back in a high topknot. With each action, his movements became more automatic, until he put on his sakabatou and suddenly caught himself reaching to where his wakizashi normally would have been.

He shuddered a little as he realized what he'd been doing, and stood up, gently clasping his hand around the sakabatou for comfort. His eyes roamed the too familiar room only to focus on a sake bottle sitting beside his ruined clothes. Carefully, Kenshin bent and picked it up. Hiko's parting gift to him. For the first time since he'd awakened, Kenshin's hard blue eyes softened a bit, thoughts of his friends finally managing to creep into his mind. He was no assassin. No matter how easy it was to fall back into the old patterns. He was stronger than that. He just had to focus on them… on his friends.

Tying the bottle to his waist, Kenshin smiled to himself. Perhaps Hiko was right. This sake might help him focus after all…

* * *

_Author's note: Ah! I'm sooo sorry that it has taken me an extra week to review! I was unable to update last week, because, being the fool I can sometimes be, I had no backup of what I'd already written on this chapter... only what was saved to my laptop... and my power supply died. I had to wait for the new one to come in. (My laptop is old, so I had to order one!) So, sorry again. I feel terrible about those of you I've kept in suspense. Hopefully this chapter will make up for the wait._

_Onto a few reviewers:_

_Crimsonsun-rk37:A tatami is a mat that is used as a type of rug in Japan. Sorry. I guess I should have put a glossary in that chapter, but I'm horrid at explaining these definitions!_

_Lolo popoki: Don't worry. You'll learn more about that scar…_

_Dragonspirit4215: (Squeals!) Yay! Kenshin plushies. Even earning imaginary ones is fun! I'm glad you like the story and appreciate the research._

_DStar504: Do you really want him to kill something? I guess that would all depend on his true personality. Remember, Katsura's dead in Meiji. So, who does Battousai serve now?_

_Esthered: I'm flattered. Heh… Thank you so much!_

_Skenshingumi: Thanks for all the great reviews. I hope you're feeling better soon!_

_Lady Battousai654: Well, here's your update! And never apologize for long reviews. I love long reviews when they are so thoughtful!_

_Otaku12: (blushes) Oh, what a compliment. I'm immensely flattered to have my story compared to anything that Watsuki-san himself would have written. Thank you so much! I hope you continue to enjoy!_

_I'm sorry I couldn't respond to you all (I have to go and pick up a friend… and I'm sure you'd like this update posted now rather than later… heh…) But thanks again to all of the wonderful reviewers! Thanks for reading! Thanks for reviewing! And please keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter (should be back on schedule and up in a week if all goes well!) Sayonara!_


	12. Makoto

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 12: Makoto**  
_

_1878_

Kaoru stormed out of the kitchen, almost crashing into Sano and Misao who were on their way in. She just hurried past them, saying nothing. She could feel their eyes on her back, but that didn't slow her down. She wasn't in the mood to talk. Megumi had spent the last ten minutes yelling at her about Kenshin, making it sound like Kaoru had almost killed him. The girl snorted. If anyone had almost gotten hurt in the marketplace, it was her. Kenshin had been fine. As usual, he'd quickly gotten everything under control.

Kaoru shivered. And then he'd left. He'd been so cold and dangerous that for a moment she'd thought he was Battousai again. Of course, that was ridiculous. There had been nothing to trigger it except Kyoto itself…

She flushed as she started to realize what Megumi had been so upset about. Of course with Kenshin still getting over his fever, seeing Kyoto may be all he needed to get lost in his past again. She abruptly stopped walking. And he really wasn't in any shape to be fighting. If she'd been carrying her bokken, he wouldn't have needed to defend her. This _was_ all her fault… Not that she was going to let Megumi know that.

She was so lost in thought that when the door she'd stopped in front of suddenly slid open, Kaoru was taken by surprise and stumbled backwards, losing her balance. She shut her eyes, expecting to fall.

Strong hands caught her, steadying her. "Are you alright, Kaoru-dono?" a familiar voice asked.

Kaoru blinked her eyes open and found herself staring into Kenshin's.

"Kaoru-dono?" He looked worried. "Perhaps you should sit down." Gently, he led her into his room.

She let him lead. For the first time since Sano had carried him in, Kenshin was acting almost like his old self. Kind, gentle, concerned. Except there was still something distant in his eyes. As though while helping her, he was also trying to protect himself. _From what? _

"Thank you," she said softly, staring at her hands. _Why was it so hard to talk to him? She felt as she had when he'd left to face Shishio. Like he wasn't really here with her._

There was an awkward silence.

Finally Kaoru looked up, surprised to see that he had been studying her. "Kenshin? Can I ask you something?"

He hesitated a moment, then nodded.

"What's wrong with you?" She blushed, realizing how that must sound. "I mean, I know you're sick… but you aren't yourself. You left me in the marketplace."

"Yahiko was there. And Sanosuke. I didn't leave you alone." His voice was flat.

Kaoru furrowed her brow, hurt clearly visible in her blue eyes. "That's not what I meant. You haven't just left me like that in a long time, Kenshin. I was just wondering if you're—"

"I'm fine." He looked away, unable to meet her eyes.

She felt a small spark of frustration. "No, Kenshin. You're sick. I know I shouldn't have made you come with me to the marketplace, but—"

"You didn't make me go."

Kaoru gritted her teeth at him. "Kenshin," she growled. "I'm trying to talk to—"

"I'm sorry, Kaoru-dono. But—"

He didn't get a chance to finish as Kaoru finally snapped, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. "Will you stop interrupting me, Kenshin! You don't have to respond to every word I say! That's what I'm talking about. You aren't acting normal! Not that you're ever exactly _normal_!"

She'd expected to snap him out of it. Normally, she could shake some sense into him when he began dwelling too much in his past as she was sure he was doing now, but this time it didn't work. His expression was stone, except for a small muscle working in his jaw. _What was that all about?_

Then she felt it through the gi. Warm and wet. Slowly, she lifted her hand from his shoulder and looked at it. _Blood_. She'd really hurt him.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Her hands automatically flew to her face in embarrassment and horror.

He moved so quickly, she didn't realize what he was doing until her wrist was caught in his hand. Stopped an inch from her face. Silently, he eased her arm down, and taking one of the clean bandages at his side, he almost reverently wiped his blood from her fingers and palm. She watched his motion with a sort of horrified fascination through the blur of tears. He handled her so gently, but at the same time he moved somewhat mechanically. As though he'd done this before. As though this weren't the first time he'd had to clean blood from another.

She felt a gentle flush creeping up her cheeks as his callused hand held hers.

Finally he spoke. "Your hands have never been stained with the blood of others, have they?" he asked gently.

Her blush grew fiercer. "I didn't mean to hurt you," she said, not quite sure what he was asking, but still trying to explain.

"You can't hurt me," he replied softly. Tentatively, he reached a hand out and touched her cheek, brushing away a tear that had escaped. "But I've still hurt you, haven't I?"

"Kenshin—"

All at once he seemed to realize what he was doing. Something shuttered behind his eyes, and he was cold and distant once more. "You shouldn't be here," he said. "I will only hurt you worse. You shouldn't be here." He stood.

The moment shattered as he turned away. Kaoru felt cold again. "Kenshin, please. You used to talk to me. What's happened to you?"

"Nothing."

She jumped to her feet, angry and hurt. "Don't lie to me! You aren't yourself. Something's wrong. Why won't you trust me anymore?" She brushed the tears away from her face, so he wouldn't see that they still fell. "You always told me the truth, no matter what. Why won't you now?"

He stood silently, his back to her.

She finally turned toward the door. "Fine," she replied. "Don't talk." With that she walked out the door, leaving him alone once again.

Battousai still stood facing the far wall, his head bowed, looking at the blood on his hand. He closed his eyes, forcing down emotions he hadn't felt in months. Some that he hadn't felt in years.

Innocent. She was completely innocent of bloodshed. He hadn't known anyone like that in a long time.

For a moment with her, he hadn't been the demon, hitokiri Battousai. He'd been Kenshin.

No.

He'd felt her innocence so strongly then, it had almost touched him.

For that moment, he'd been Shinta.

He closed his eyes and for the first time in six months, felt tears.

* * *

_1865_

Kenshin ignored the stares as he made his way through the inn. Katsura had not been in his room as Kenshin had hoped, so now he was forced through the ordeal of having to face the Choshu soldiers. It had been hard for him those first few steps in the crowded hall, when conversations had gone silent, and people had made room for him. He'd been very close to turning around and waiting until the area was clear. But he instead forced himself to continue on his path. No one made eye contact with him. They were all too afraid. That was the irony of it. He could feel their relief as he passed. Relief that their protector, their guardian, was alive and hadn't left them. But they were still afraid of the demon he had been not so long ago.

Respect and fear, like opposite edges of the same sword.

Kenshin slipped into the kitchen, hoping to find Okami. She would know where Katsura was. Several of the serving girls were preparing the morning meal, but Okami was nowhere.

One of the younger girls noticed him hesitating in the doorway. Her dark eyes widened. "Himura-san," she said softly. "Is there something you needed?"

Okami had trained her girls well. No matter what his reputation, they had always treated him with respect, carefully masking their fear. The kind innkeeper hadn't realized how easily he could read their emotions, sensing even _their_ hidden fears. But he'd always appreciated that they tried.

Kenshin smiled faintly. Then there were some like this girl, Nozomi, who didn't quite understand what his job was, and so she had never feared him. This, he appreciated more than anyone could know.

"Nozomi-dono," Kenshin replied. "Is Okami around?"

Nozomi blushed at being called "dono" and lowered her eyes. "I am sorry, Himura-san. I'm not sure where she is." She glanced up at him. "I could help you look if you'd like."

Kenshin blinked at her, suddenly realizing that the young girl was blushing, and starting to understand why. "Oro… N-No. Thank you, Nozomi-dono." He backed up a step, flustered. "I'm sure I can find her myself, that I can. You have work here that I'm keeping you from. Thank you." He bowed quickly and left the room, knowing that his own face had to be red. Especially when he heard some of the other girls giggle as he slid the door shut behind him.

Quickly, he walked to the meal room, firmly putting the young girl out of his mind. He was so lost in thought that he almost crashed into Ushiro who was also entering.

"Sorry," the tall, dark-haired man said. When he looked at who he'd almost crashed into, he smiled broadly, taking Kenshin by surprise. "Battousai-san! You're alright. I was worried."

"I'm fine," the redhead responded, startled by the friendly reaction. "How are _you_?"

Ushiro shrugged, then grimaced, rubbing his bandaged shoulder. "I'm walking. Not that Okami's very pleased about that. I got a scolding this morning for getting up to eat. But she couldn't have expected me to sleep all day." His eyes widened when he realized who he was discussing that with. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, if you work all night," he amended quickly.

Kenshin would have laughed if his mind hadn't been so distracted.

"Battousai-san?"

The rurouni glanced up to see that Ushiro was staring at him. "Oro?"

Ushiro quirked an eyebrow. "Oro, huh? That's new." He grinned. "Anyway, I was just wondering if you wanted to sit with Kano and I. I know you usually take breakfast alone, but you're usually not up this early either…"

Kenshin studied Ushiro. There was no fear. He was friendly and concerned, but not afraid. Had he always been like this? Kenshin didn't know. He'd always respected Ushiro in the past, but had never really thought much of him. So many other thoughts had been fighting for precedence in his mind. Now that he was older, it was a pleasant surprise to realize that he hadn't been as alone as he'd thought during Bakumatsu. While he'd been protecting them, there had been people like Ushiro, Okami and Katsura looking out for him from the sidelines. Trying to make the everyday encounters survivable.

"You don't have to, Battousai-san."

Kenshin blinked up at him a few times. "Oro?"

"You were staring at me like I was crazy for asking." Ushiro glanced into the room to see Kano send him a questioning look.

Kano was Katsura's new "clean up" man, now that Iizuka had left. Kenshin's eyes darkened. No, now that Iizuka had been assassinated. Katsura had never said it in so many words, but Kenshin knew that dealing with their traitor had been the first assignment of Shishio Makoto. Kenshin had further distanced himself from the soldiers after that. His trust in Iizuka had cost Tomoe her life. Because of this, he wasn't sure, even now, if he could face Kano fairly, without his predecessor's sins staining him in the ex-hitokiri's mind.

Kenshin shook his head and half smiled. "I am sorry, Ushiro-san. I'm simply looking for Katsura-san. That is all. Do you know where I can find him?" At the flicker of disappointment in the taller man's eyes, Kenshin added, "Perhaps I will join you for a later meal."

"Right. Later then. About Katsura-san… I assume he is in his meeting room, giving out assignments. That's where he usually is at this time."

Kenshin nodded, feeling foolish for not checking there sooner. "Thank you, Ushiro-san." He replied, turning to leave.

"Later, then, right?" Ushiro called after him. "I'm holding you to that!"

But Kenshin had already turned the corner.

Ushiro made his way into the meal room, aware of surprised and frightened looks coming from many of the men who must have thought him mad for speaking to Battousai that way. Ushiro ignored them. Because in the end, even the great hitokiri Battousai was just a boy who needed a friend.

* * *

Kenshin walked quickly to his commander's meeting room, hoping he wouldn't be interrupting anything. He rarely had received his assignments from Katsura this early, so he wasn't sure of the protocol. The redhead stopped a few steps from the room, listening. He was sure he'd heard voices a moment ago, and didn't want to be in the way. But all was silent now. He raised his hand to knock, just as the door slid open and a man Kenshin didn't know walked out. 

The tall man's long black hair was pulled tightly back into a topknot, and his burning eyes assessed Kenshin before he slowly smiled and walked away. As he passed, Kenshin could feel the man's ki radiating from him in waves. The ex-hitokiri froze, slowly turning back to watch the retreating form. He knew that ki.

A shiver ran down his spine as he recognized the man.

His successor…

Shishio Makoto.

* * *

_Author's note: Yay! I'm back on track (even a little ahead, as I've started working on the next chapter already… I'm so proud of myself!) I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for reading, and please review!_

_Also, Thank you to lolo popoki who pointed out Sano's history (according to Jinchuu) for me. I really appreciate it. As I've mentioned before, I'm not willing to run the risk of confusing my set storyline by reading Jinchuu, and I know I'm stepping on Watsuki-san's toes here and there. Sano's history is something that I don't think I can change at this point to match Watsuki-san (although I'm usually willing to try). Either way… thank you so much for telling me! Oh, and your welcome for the PMK suggestion… heh…_

_A lilmatchgirl: Happy birthday! I'm glad my chapter worked out as a suitable gift!_

_Bakabokken: Thanks for trying my story out! And I'm glad you like it. Hopefully you got your studying done… heh… You _are_ going to enter the "42 days" contest, right? Hope so!_

_Crimsonsun-rk: Nice predictions! (- hugs self -) It's so much fun to read predictions and reviews! And yes… those are the ninjas I was referring to!_

_Dragonspirit4215: Ah! I will not say "sayonara" then! I didn't realize it meant such a long term. My little dictionary didn't specify that (note to self: get better Japanese dictionary!) I certainly didn't mean the next update would be months or years away! So, what do those other terms mean exactly? What's the difference? (They also weren't in my pathetic little dictionary)… Thanks again!_

_That's all for now! To all my other reviewers… I'm sorry if I didn't get to respond to you, but I've read and appreciated every single review! Thank you so much!  
_

_Dewa mata! (apparently a way to say goodbye without implying that I'm taking a month hiatus! Oro!)_


	13. Question and Answer

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 13: Question and Answer**  
_

_1878_

It was late when an insistent knock was heard at the door of the Aoi-ya. One of the young ladies running the inn, Omasu, hurried to the door, opening it a crack and peeking out. She blinked, startled by the figure standing at her doorstep. A police officer with a katana. He smiled in a friendly manner.

"Hello?" she asked, trying to figure out where she had seen this man before. A patron perhaps? "May I help you?"

The officer bowed. "I think you can. My name is Fujita Goro. I am looking for a man with red hair who goes by the name of Himura Kenshin. I've heard that he is staying at your inn."

Omasu watched him critically, not sliding the door open any further. "What do you need with Himura-san?" she asked carefully.

He continued to smile in that unnerving way. "Don't worry. He's in no trouble. There was an incident in the marketplace earlier today. People saw him there. I just wanted to get his take on what happened. That's all."

Omasu still didn't slide the door open further. Something wasn't right.

Before she could properly reply, Okina came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Is there a problem, Omasu?"

She glanced back at the old man. "There is a police officer here for Himura-san."

The old man's eyes narrowed. "Is there now? Let me talk with him."

The girl nodded and quickly left.

Okina stepped forward to the door, sliding it the rest of the way open. "Saito-san," he said softly.

There was a small gasp from across the room as Omasu finally recognized the man. Okina sent a sharp look in her direction and she was gone.

"I am here to see Battousai." His amber eyes almost glowed in the darkness, making him appear even more like a predator than usual. The smile was gone, as were all attempts at pleasantries. These two were beyond that point.

"What do you want with Himura-dono?" Okina asked softly.

Saito's eyes gleamed. "I want answers."

The old man watched the wolf carefully. "Answers," he said. "That you may have, if Himura-dono will speak with you." His eyes darkened. "However, if this is to come to blows, you will take your fight elsewhere. I have people to protect here. This is not the place for personal fights."

Saito nodded shortly. "Understood."

Okina moved out of the way to allow the lean wolf to enter. When Saito was in, the old man closed the door behind him. "Himura-dono's room is at the end of that hall," he said, motioning toward one corridor. "I would not suggest taking him by surprise. He hasn't left his room since he returned from the market. I do not think he's in the mood for games."

Saito raised an eyebrow at Okina. "You don't intend to come and make sure I keep my promise?"

Pale blue eyes met amber. "I think it best Himura-dono does not have to deal with both of us at once, don't you?"

Saito smirked. "You suspect as well."

"I can't explain it, but I know his ki. Ask you questions and leave, Saito-san. The boy has been through a lot lately. Battousai or not, what he needs now is rest." With that, the old man walked away.

Saito began walking down the hall. It was late enough that most of the patrons were asleep. But Saito had no worries that he'd be awakening his prey. Battousai had a different sleep schedule. He was just approaching the door when two sets of footsteps could be heard racing down the hall. Casually he turned to see Omasu and Kaoru hurrying toward him.

Kaoru he threw herself in front of the door. "What are you doing here?" she snapped. "You're here for Kenshin, aren't you? I won't let you bother him. He needs to rest."

"I'm here for answers."

"He's sick. He's in no shape to talk with you."

At that, Saito's eyes flashed dangerously. "If I'm correct, we won't need to _talk_."

"What?"

He didn't answer, moving her aside, and sliding open the door.

The room was dark, but the faint moonlight from the open window was enough to make one thing clear.

The room was empty.

Battousai was gone.

* * *

_1865_

Kenshin didn't move for a very long moment as he watched Shishio leave. So this was the Shishio Makoto of the past. This was the man who would be betrayed by his own government. Erased by the people he'd once served.

Kenshin shivered. He'd never known Shishio during Bakumatsu. They had been kept completely separate by Katsura. Kenshin knew that Shishio had been warped by what was done to him, but even here this assassin had been very different than his predecessor. The rurouni could read it in his ki. Could see it in his eyes. This man would have used and betrayed the world he'd helped create, just as they would eventually do to him him. No, this did not give them the right to destroy him, but at the same time… Kenshin could see why Katsura would have wanted to keep Shishio in the shadows as much as possible. And why his commander wouldn't want someone as unstable as Battousai to come into contact with him.

Kenshin knocked on the door, trying to force these dark thoughts from his mind. But it wasn't so easy. Seeing the Shishio of the past, and having knowledge of the horrors this man would create… didn't Kenshin have a responsibility…?

His thoughts were interrupted by Katsura's voice telling him to enter.

Kenshin came in and slid the door shut. After bowing briefly, he was invited to sit, and he followed orders. It was all automatic. His mind was elsewhere. Fighting a battle that wouldn't take place for over ten years against a man who had once been his ally. Watching his friends fall, and feeling that this time he'd failed to protect them.

Standing amidst the fireflies, and hurting someone he loved, just so he could save her…

"Himura?"

The rurouni started at the sound of his name. He blinked up at Katsura. "I'm sorry. I was lost in thought."

The man nodded gravely. "So I see." Concern was evident on his face. "You appear… different, Himura. How are you?"

"Fine."

Katsura looked closely at the redhead, noting the exhaustion in his eyes and the defensive mask he was drawing up. "Did you sleep well?"

Kenshin managed a small smile. "Well enough. I will sleep better when I am away from here, that I will." Kenshin's eyes widened as he suddenly realized what he'd said, and he bowed his head low. "No offense intended, Katsura-san."

The commander continued to study the man before him. "None taken. I can understand your wish to leave. I expect things are more peaceful in your time, Himura."

Kenshin remained silent.

Katsura watched his ex-hitokiri critically. "I would think that after the fall of the Tokogawa Régime, things would be less difficult for you, especially with your oath to no longer live by the sword." He motioned to the sakabatou at Kenshin's side.

Kenshin's smile was strained, but nothing else was given away by his expression. "Katsura-san," he said softly. "My oath to stop taking lives when the fighting was done never depended on who wins." He sighed, clearly fighting an internal battle. "You know that I cannot tell you the outcome of this war, no matter how you disguise the question, that I cannot. I fought for our cause, but I am happy with life as it has become, whether or not the Shogunate has fallen. I have no right to destroy more lives by tampering. And I will not risk doing so by allowing you to use me for information. I am sorry, Katsura-san, that I am."

Katsura didn't seem at all upset, nor did he seem particularly surprised at the rurouni's answer. He smiled faintly. "I don't think I really expected you to fall for that, Himura. You've always struck me as intelligent, with strong values. I've forced you to compromise those values once. I apologize for attempting it again. However, I am in charge of the Choshu Ishin-shishi, and I have a responsibility to our cause first and foremost. I had to try. I hope you can understand that, Himura."

Kenshin's expression didn't change. "I can understand perfectly, Katsura-san. This is why I need to leave this place as soon as possible. I don't belong here. I'm afraid that by just being here, I'm changing things in my time. And…" He hesitated. "…And I have no memory of shifting through time as Battousai."

Katsura stared at him. "None?"

The rurouni shook his head. "No. Battousai could be doing anything in my time, and I won't know until I return. He could…" Kenshin trailed off, and looked away, deeply troubled. "I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with the thought of Battousai possibly walking among my friends…"

"Why?"

Kenshin absently ran his hand down the hilt of his sakabatou. "I was a killer, once, Katsura-san. You of all people understand that." Pain flickered in his eyes. "And it is so close to Tomoe's death… I don't know that Battousai could understand my time… or my friends. They are… different." He smiled absently at this thought. "Some fought against our cause. Some fought against _me_. And there are others…" His mind drifted to thoughts of Kaoru. "…others that the Battousai may not be prepared to handle."

Katsura's brow furrowed, as he tried to take Kenshin's words in. "Have you changed so much that you must speak of Battousai as a different person?" There was amusement in Katsura's voice, but his eyes only reflected worry. Kenshin had seemed fine last night. But today, he was struggling. Fighting himself. It suddenly occurred to Katsura that perhaps his hitokiri was damaged more than he'd ever shown.

Kenshin's dark violet eyes shifted to a deep blue. Very softly he replied, "No. There is still much of Battousai in me. But I have changed a great deal. I am not the boy people expect anymore. Another worry. I am dangerous here, because of what I can no longer do…"

Both men sat completely silent for a few moments, trying to properly absorb the situation.

Katsura broke the silence first, clearing his throat. "Well, then. We should get to the point."

There was a shift in Kenshin's expression that completely took Katsura by surprise. The ex-hitokiri turned to him with a completely unguarded look. He was clearly desperate to get home, and willing to put faith in his commander's ability to fix the problem. The ex-hitokiri's eyes were wide and hopeful. They looked so much like the boy Katsura had taken in. The boy Katsura had thought he'd drowned in blood.

For once, the commander was forced to look away, unable to deal with the power behind those eyes. Even at his most dangerous, Battousai's stare had no effect on Katsura, but this… this simple look of trust was enough to discomfort him.

"Please tell me you have thought of a way to send me home, Katsura-san."

The words were like blades, cutting at the older man. "I'm sorry," he replied gently. "I have ideas, but I can't promise you anything." He glanced up to see a little of the light fade from Kenshin's eyes.

"I understand, Katsura-san." There was resignation in his voice.

"No, Himura," Katsura snapped, a stern quality creeping into his voice. "You are not going to give up. I won't allow that. We will send you home. You deserve that much, but it will take time. This isn't a normal situation, and I need to think on it. But don't… don't lose faith in me."

Kenshin blinked at him in surprise. "Yes, Katsura-san."

The commander nodded. "Good. I will do this for you, Himura. However, I… have a favor to ask of you."

"Katsura-san?"

The older man looked Kenshin straight in the eye and asked the question he'd been afraid to breech since the previous night.

"Will you be Battousai for me again?"

* * *

_Author's note: Hello! Sorry to leave you hanging for almost two weeks! But I'm back. I'm hoping that next chapter will come easier. Katsura-san was just so stubborn and hard to work with! Heh… Anyway, on to reviewers:_

_Sailor-Earth13: I'm glad you liked the chapter. Hopefully Shishio won't cause too many problems for our rurouni!_

_Gojaru: Glad to see you have returned! Sano is a wonderful friend. Especially proven by what he's put up with so far with Battousai. I've always loved his character, and I get tired of seeing him just come off as some idiot._

_Lady Battousai654: The Misao idea is interesting. I'll think on that. I try to update regularly. I hope you weren't too disappointed by having to wait two weeks for this update! I tried to make the chapter worth it!_

_Nekotsuki: Thanks for the honest assessment. - bows - I'm sorry the last few chapters haven't been as eloquent. I haven't had as much time as usual to edit. Hopefully this chapter is more up to par!_

_Jane Drew: Yay! You're back! I was so happy to see your review. I thought I'd lost you and Gojaru. Heh… Thank you so much for the great review. As always, loved the beautifully warped little Kenshin/ Katsura interaction. And thanks for mentioning "Decent into Madness." I checked it out. Excellent story!_

_Dragonspirit4215: Thanks for teaching me the Japanese terms. I love that! And thanks for the review._

_To all other reviewers: Sorry I didn't get a chance to respond directly, but I really appreciate all of your reviews! Thank you so much!_

_Dewa mata!_


	14. Choices

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 14: Choices**  
_

_1865_

It took Kenshin a moment to actually register what it was that Katsura had asked him.

"_Will you be Battousai for me again?"_

As the words sunk in, Kenshin's eyes widened in an expression bordering fear. He gripped his sword like a lifeline.

"Not to kill," Katsura clarified quickly, seeing that he was losing Kenshin. "I wouldn't ask that of you again." He waited a moment until the younger man seemed to relax. "You are—were—my sword. But you have always been more than that… especially to the soldiers."

The rurouni still looked like he was trying to properly compose himself. "I don't understand," he said slowly.

Katsura struggled for the right words. "You are important to the men. To them, you are undefeatable. Inhuman. As long as you live, they feel safe. Because if all else goes wrong, you are here to defend them. And against all odds, you have always survived, no matter how deadly the fight. When you were missing, there was a general unease. But this morning, just by seeing you in the corridors many spirits have raised. They need you."

Kenshin looked pained, trying to absorb this. Finally he responded, his eyes hard and his expression firm. "I can understand your request, but I cannot be Battousai for you, Katsura-san. I am sorry." He paused, letting his words sink in, watching his commander. For the first time, Kenshin noticed how tired Katsura looked. The revolution had aged him. Had aged all of them. He had seen its effects on others, like Okubo… felt its effects on himself, but how had he never noticed the strain on Katsura before? The ex-hitokiri's expression softened. "However, I will allow them to believe what they will. If they wish to believe I am the boy they know, then I will not change their minds. But I _cannot_ actively play that role again."

Some of the stress seemed to fade from his Katsura's face as he bowed his head. "Thank you, Himura. That is all I ask."

Kenshin had finally loosened his grip on the sakabatou, and now was running his fingers along the hilt, distractedly.

"Something still troubles you, doesn't it, Himura?"

Kenshin sighed. "I am not comfortable with this game, Katsura-san, that I most certainly am not."

"Game?"

"Playing Battousai. I understand your reasoning. I see the logic. It is important to keep their spirits up. They need to believe they are safe, and if my presence will do that… I am willing to play my part. However, I don't _like_ it. They will expect things from Battousai, Katsura-san. Things that I can no longer give. I am worried that this will cost lives in the long run."

Katsura looked Kenshin in the eyes. "In the long run, yes. But in this case, we have no long run. You will be given two days off for your wounds. Any longer and people will be suspicious. Therefore we have two days to send you home. I need my sword back, Himura. The Shinsengumi are growing more active lately. And now the government has hired an anti-assassin who is severely weakening several of our factions. If there has to be a long run, it could be the end of everything. Of all we have fought for."

The rurouni nodded in agreement. "I can last two days. But if anyone asks. If they suspect… I will not lie."

Katsura's smile was strained, but his expression understanding. "I know. I will contact you as soon as I have some idea of what we should do."

Kenshin stood, realizing that this was his dismissal. He bowed briefly. "Thank you, Katsura-san. What are my orders in the meantime?"

The older man blinked at the redhead in surprise. "Your… orders?" Then his expression softened. "Yes, your orders… Relax. Treat your injuries. Reminisce."

"Oro?"

Katsura chuckled at the almost comical look of confusion on Kenshin's face. "You have a rare chance to view your past through wiser eyes. Why don't you take this occasion to enjoy it?"

"Enjoy…?"

Katsura's smile was a little sad. "Perhaps that isn't exactly the right word. But I'm sure there are some of your comrades who, in your time, are no longer with us. You could take this opportunity to speak with them again. You don't want to waste all of your time here on me."

"Yes, Katsura-san," Kenshin murmured, bowing to his commander. As he left the room, he closed his eyes a moment, allowing the cold irony to sink in. That Katsura was one of those who were no longer with him.

And even though Katsura would still try to use him as his sword, Kenshin was honestly glad he'd been given the chance to speak with his commander once more.

* * *

Saito paced the small room, feeling like a wolf confined to a pen. Generally, this room was used to meet with no more than one or two unit leaders at a time, but this was different. This time there was information to be had, and so seven of the ten unit leaders were in attendance, waiting for their commander, Kondo Isami, to arrive and inform them of recent events. 

Even the promise of new information did not put the third unit leader's mind at ease. Battousai was still missing as far as he could tell. And that impersonator, whoever he was, was still out there. More frustrating, Saito still wasn't sure what to think of the man. If he were clearly allied with the Choshu clan, perhaps there would be no problem in slaying him. But the redhead hadn't seemed to be there to kill. In fact, Saito distinctly got the impression that all the man had been trying to do was end the fight without the loss of more blood on _either_ side. Not particularly _evil_.

Saito scowled. And it was _irritating _him.

"Saito-san?"

The tall man glanced down at Okita, who was now keeping pace beside him. "What?"

"Is something troubling you?"

Saito didn't grace that with a response. Okita may be a genius at swordsmanship, but sometimes he could be a real idiot in social situations.

"Saito-san?"

"I don't feel like talking."

Okita smiled brightly. "I understand." To Saito's annoyance, Okita continued to pace beside him.

"Saito-san, you're still upset about Battousai, aren't you?"

"Do you know what not talking is?" Saito growled.

Okita just shrugged. "Sorry. I just know how your mind works. And you were bothered last night."

The third unit leader ignored him, instead tuning into the conversation around him, much of which seemed to revolve around recent information they'd received. Shimada Kai and Toriyama Raidon, two of their spies, had managed to locate an inn that many of the Choshu men seemed to frequent, including Battousai. They had not succeeded in their mission to find Katsura Kogoro. However it was a start. Especially since there were rumors that during the Ikedaya Affair, Battousai had taken a girl from that Okami's inn just before he'd disappeared. Before he'd reemerged alone, not as a hitokiri, but as a protector, allowing another assassin to fill his position.

To top matters off, Harada Sanosuke, leader of the tenth unit, had discovered a man who had been supplying arms to the patriots. After some _persuading_, they had learned some important information. A few names and numbers, and specifically, the name and description of Katsura's new assassin, a man reportedly as deadly as Battousai: Shishio Makoto.

"They talk as though this Shishio is someone to worry about," Okita said darkly, his usual cheerful expression dropping as the calculating swordsman within him took over. "But he sounds no better than Battousai. How do we know he isn't just a distraction? That Battousai isn't still doing the real work behind the cover of this Shishio?"

Saito shook his head. "We don't. I'm not comfortable with this either. They talk as though Battousai is no longer a threat. But most of them haven't faced that demon. They have no idea that he is as deadly, if not more so, now that he fights in the open." His amber eyes narrowed as he listened to the idle speculation of the men. "However, this new assassin should not be taken lightly either. The Ishin shishi will be difficult to tear down with either of them intact."

Okita smiled again. "And then we have your Battousai look-alike from last night as well, right, Saito-san?"

Saito was blessedly freed from having to respond to that by the arrival of Kondo and one of the vice-commanders, Hijikata Toshizo. Saito instead sent a quick glare in Okita's direction and made his way to the back of the room, leaning against the wall. Okita finally took the hint and gave him some space, sitting near the front.

Kondo glared across the room, silencing everyone. As usual, the powerful man got right to the point. "We have recently received confirmation of a new assassin among the Ishin-shishi: hitokiri Shishio. We have confirmed that he has been doing the work of hitokiri Battousai for at least three months, although we have reason to believe that it was this new assassin, not Battousai, who was involved in the deaths of several of our forth unit five months ago."

There was a general murmuring from the unit leaders. Nagakura Shinpachi, the second unit leader, was as usual heard above the crowd. "This doesn't make sense. Why would they replace Battousai? Even if this Shishio _is_ as good as his predecessor, why replace a hitokiri who has never failed? One that even _we_ have been unable to stop?"

Kondo glared at the man to silence him, but the commander seemed to be considering his words. "No one knows. However, I am not ignoring the possibility that Battousai is still a hitokiri for the Ishin-shishi, used to protect hitokiri Shishio against threats." He sent a hard look across the room. "In other words, there is a possibility that hitokiri Shishio uses Battousai for his defense during missions."

"It would make sense," Hijikata said, finally speaking. "Battousai was nearly unstoppable. Odds are low that Katsura would have found two men with such skill. So, if hitokiri Shishio is as strong offensively as Battousai, it stands to reason that his defense may be lacking."

Kondo nodded. "Exactly. This brings us to our mission. I'm sure many of you have heard of the government's new tool, an anti-assassin who has been targeting some of the hardest to breech factions of the Ishin-shishi. It is in our best interest that this anti-assassin have a clear shot against hitokiri Shishio. Therefore, we are going to concentrate our focus on removing Battousai from the equation. We take out Battousai. The anti-assassin takes out Shishio."

Saito scowled. "Kondo-san, Battousai is still missing. How are we to remove someone we can't find?"

"According to the first unit report, you faced Battousai last night."

"We faced someone similar to him. It wasn't the same man, Kondo-san." Saito tried to bite back his frustration, knowing it would get him nowhere with the commander.

"I have the word of several of your own men as well." Kondo's expression was stern. "However, the tenth unit is currently in charge of tracking and erasing Battousai. If Harada Sanosuke sees anything that may imply that this man is not the true Battousai, it will be his responsibility to let us know. We will not be fooled by some imposter. Until then, we treat this as the real thing. Is that understood, Saito?"

Saito bowed briefly to Kondo. "Understood, Kondo-san."

"Harada?"

"Yes, Kondo-san."

The rest of the unit leaders were given new assignments, changing their patterns enough to hopefully catch some of the Ishin-shishi off-guard. Saito's eyes narrowed. His mind was elsewhere, focusing on a man with red hair and a sakabatou.

And a fight they needed to finish…

* * *

_1878_

Battousai walked the darkened streets with no real destination. All he could think of was getting out of the Aoi-ya before he lost his mind. They were suffocating him. Sanosuke, with his insistent offers of friendship. No, not even offers. They were already friends apparently. The boy sighed. He wasn't exactly sure how to take that. The last _friend_ he'd had was Iizuka… and he didn't need a reminder as to how that had gone.

His brow furrowed. But Sano wasn't like that. Iizuka had _expected_ things from him. He had used Kenshin as well as Katsura-san, trying unsuccessfully to play them against each other. _He_ had been one of the true demons of Bakumatsu. A man with no honor to fight for.

But Sano was different. And Battousai wasn't sure how to deal with it. Worse, every time he tried to deal with the fighter, Battousai only seemed to anger him. Yet, Sano was still his friend… The youth didn't understand how someone like himself had earned such a deep friendship. And he didn't know how to express his gratitude for Sano's fierce loyalty. He'd had little experience with people. Slavers, soldiers, traitors, victims… These were the people he knew. When had he ever had a friend? How do you thank a friend for being what they are?

And then there was Kaoru-dono. Kenshin paused in the shadows of a building, leaning against its wall and taking a deep breath. Then there was Kaoru… She _cared_ about him for some reason. Why? What could she possibly see in a murderer who was twice her age? Why wasn't he forcing her to keep her distance? He had drowned his own soul in blood. Did he want to drown her, too? The idea of destroying her innocence pained him worse than any other thought.

At that, he began walking again, gliding through the shadows, and hoping that the cold would help to clear his mind. So far, it was failing miserably. He couldn't get these people out of his head. Sano and Kaoru… and even Yahiko, who thought he was one of the Shinsengumi. His lips quirked at that thought. Yahiko was just a kid with an overactive imagination. Battousai smiled a little. But he'd always liked kids. Kids could see things as they really were, and it was one of his only comforts to know that they would still come to him. Even when he'd left Otsu. After all that he'd done, they'd still come. It made him think that maybe some part of his soul hadn't been destroyed.

_Otsu…_

Battousai froze as he realized where he'd been unconsciously walking to all along. The graves stood before him. One part of Kyoto that had remained unchanged. For a moment, he took it all in. Then he slowly walked to _her_… and knelt before the simple marker, closing his eyes and running his fingers along the cold stone.

"Tomoe…"

He was silent for a long moment, simply being with her. Wondering if she was watching him. He felt like she was. And for a moment, that put his turbulent mind at ease. "I'm sorry," he whispered. He took a deep breath, and opened his eyes, about to stand, when he noticed the flowers. They were inches from his hands, wilted from being out in the cold for a couple of days, but it was obvious that they had originally been laid down with much care.

He reached out one trembling hand to touch the soft petals, remembering her smooth skin, her soft hair. And that scent, white plums, that he had treasured. Touching them, he felt a connection to her. And for the first time, he felt a connection to his older self, who had obviously left them there.

Even with his friends…with Kaoru… he still loved her. Even ten years later, he still honored her. Maybe he hadn't changed so much…

Where had he found flowers in this weather? Had someone grown them indoors? Or had he grown them himself…?

"_You could have lived like this... if you hadn't picked up a sword. You'd be happy with some land and seeds to plant…"_

He hunched over the grave, clutching the flowers, and finally allowing the tears he'd been denying himself to fall. Her voice had been so strong that for a moment, he'd almost believed she was beside him. He could almost feel her arms around him, holding him… comforting him. Just as he had tried to lend her comfort in the end.

In his mind's eye, he could see her body in his arms. Feel her growing cold, as she slowly raised her knife and sealed the scar across his cheek. He hadn't even felt it, the pain from his wounds was nothing compared to the pain he felt inside. As his soul cried out for justice… and a part of his heart died.

She was smiling at him… had smiled at him during those last moments.

_Why?_

_He had killed her. Why had she still loved him? He had done nothing to deserve her. Nothing except steal her first love from her._

And he suddenly thought of Kaoru. "I'm doing it to you, too," he whispered. "It isn't me you love, but someone I could become. And I've stolen that from you…"

Battousai stood abruptly, the flowers dropping from his hand back onto the hard, cold ground.

"I won't make the same mistake twice."

* * *

_Author's note: Hi there! So much to say! But I'll start with the important stuff first. _

_(hangs head in shame) _

_Recently it has come to my attention that I've made a bunch of oopsies lately. So, I'll note right now, I have currently fixed all of the oopsies that I know of in previous chapters (if you find more, please tell me!) _

_Thank you to lolo popoki for telling me about Sano's past a bit. I've decided to tweak that a bit after all. _

_Thank you to t.a.g.0 for noticing my name mix up. I have a hard time with that with Saito and Hiko. I met most of the characters through the manga, which had it correct, but I met them through the anime (manga started lagging behind my ability to watch the show!) Since the anime has them all backwards (usually), I tend to mix those names up badly._

_Thank you to skenshingumi for noticing my continued time screw up! The years mentioned with Katsura have been tweaked!_

_Side note, I now own "Kenshin Kaden" and was able to look up ages! I didn't know Sano was born in 1860! (sob) That makes him a kind of young Sekihou-tai member, doesn't it? I can't really change that, so I'm going to have to beg you to suspend disbelief and assume Sano was born a teensie bit earlier._

_I'm so sorry for all of these mess-ups! It made me feel horrible to see how badly I screwed up, and I went about trying to find someone to finish my story. Went something like this:_

**Me**: _(begs Kenshin-gumi to finish story for me before I screw up further) _

**Kenshin**: _(listens to my plea politely)_

**Rest of Kenshin-gumi**: _(tiptoe out of room while I'm not looking)_

**Me**: So, how about it?

**Kenshin**: _(agrees to help)_

**Me**: …. (_looks around room)_ Where are the rest of them?

**Kenshin**: _(sweatdrops)_

**Kamatari**: _(appears out of nowhere wearing bright pink kimono with pretty butterflies and flowers on it_) _I'll_ help! I _am_ Shishio-sama's official storyteller after all!

**Me**: _(ignores Kamatari)_

_So, only Kenshin agreed to help (excluding the questionable source, Kamatari) and I wound up having to ditch him anyway when he got stuck just trying to figure out his own age. Desperate, I tried one last person…_

**Me**: So, will you please just finish the story for me? I'm screwing it up big time, with the dates and names and ages and all…

**Saito**: ……

**Me**: Please. I'll buy you some soba!

**Saito**: No.

**Me**: WHAT?

**Saito**: I said no.

**Me**: Wait a minute! No fair! You agree to do psychic ghosty things for Tetsu in _Peacemaker Kurogane_ for soba! All _I'm_ asking you to do is finish one lousy story for me!

**Saito**: That's your own fault. This is the _Kenshin_ universe, not _Peacemaker_. Get your manga straight. _(lights cigarette)_

**Me**: _(sniffles)_

**Saito**: _(walks away, ignoring me)_

**Me**: Sometimes I really hate you, Hajime…

**Saito**: _(sneezes and keeps walking)_

**Kamatari**: _(appears again_) Oh! Oh! Pick me! Pick me!

**Me**: ……

_So, I am apparently still stuck finishing the story on my own. Please keep helping me along, though. I appreciate it!_

_Anyway, moving on to reviewers…_

_Strawberry Promises: Maybe a little romance…_

_Chocolate Covered Videl: I'm glad you like it!_

_Lady Battousai654: Thanks for adding me to your C2. It's visible now, because I checked it out. You will be updating your own time travel story soon, right? Because I'm dying to read more!_

_WhiteRabbit5: I'll keep an eye on my Okina. Maybe it was because he wasn't acting as hyper as usual? It just didn't seem right for the moment…_

_Nekotsuke: Thank you for the explanation. It helps me out a lot. I apologize for the slowness of Bakumatsu. It isn't so much that I'm not putting as much effort into as it is that I'm having a hard time writing it. Apparently my library in town is useless. Their entire Japanese history section is World War 2. So, although I have found some good sites online, I'm having a little trouble tracking down the facts of the time that I need. But things should be picking up now…_

_WolfDaughter: Here's your next update. I tried to keep it within a week this time!_

_Jane Drew: Hehe… Nice line of questioning. Twenty questions with Katsura. Kind of makes me think of something from lolo popoki's fic, "Only the Beginning" with an image of Okita and Battousai at "Rock, Paper, Scissors."_

_Delta74: What does trfyui mean? (is confused) _

_Finally, I'd like to thank all of my reviewers for their great reviews (whether I responded or not). I'd like to beg you all not to go toooo hard on Katsura… he _is_ in a very difficult situation. And I'd like to apologize for the last chapter being so short… but I don't really write them based on length. I write until I feel they are done. That felt complete, so I ended it. This one made it a bit longer!_

_Thanks again for reading. Please review. And keep your eyes open for chapter 15!_

_Dewa mata!_


	15. Walking the Rail

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 15: Walking the Rail**  
_

_1865_

The room had gone silent when he'd appeared. Kenshin had to fight to keep from flinching at the reaction. Hesitating in the doorway, he looked around the meal room, trying to find a space where he could quietly sit alone. There really weren't a lot of options, as it wasn't a very large area. But he couldn't turn around now. Kenshin forced himself to slowly enter the room, keenly aware of the eyes following his every movement. His face was stone.

_This was a bad idea,_ he thought, sadly. At first, he'd planned on just holing up in his room and getting some rest before trying to find that boy again. But he couldn't get Katsura's words out of his mind.

"_I'm sure there are some of your comrades who, in your time, are no longer with us. You could take this opportunity to speak with them again."_

He'd hardly spoken to them during his youth. Why had he expected things would be different now? _Because_ I _am different now, _he thought dryly. _Not that any of _them_ realize it._

Perhaps leaving _would_ be a better idea after all. If he visited Okami in the kitchen, she might just let him take some food to his room. Of course, then he'd have to face Nozomi-dono again. A slight flush crept onto his face as he realized that he was ill-suited to fight her off. Thank god Kaoru-dono would never have to know about her. He could imagine the dojo instructor attacking this poor girl with her bokken. At that thought, he was struck with a pang of homesickness as he remembered that he might never see her again... Might never see _any_ of them again. _Unless I find a way home. Either that, or I can try to survive Bakumatsu again_, he thought, darker ideas taking reign in his mind. _In that case, I would be forty-three when I see them again._ His lips twitched and he almost smiled._ Kaoru-dono would not like that._

His appearance finally seemed to be losing the interest of the men, as they began talking amongst themselves once more. As people began leaving, Kenshin finally spotted a place he could sit toward the back of the room where he wouldn't be bothered. That would suffice.

He had only walked two steps in that direction when someone came up behind him. "Battousai-san."

Kenshin turned, startled, to see Ushiro.

"So," Ushiro commented, "did you find Katsura-san?"

Kenshin blinked up at him, before finally replying, "Yes. Thank you, Ushiro-san."

"Good." He hesitated awkwardly. "Well, since your business with Katsura is done, do you want to join me and Kano? We're not done yet, and there's no point in you sitting all alone again." He smiled faintly.

Kenshin looked back at the empty spot and sighed. Well, he _had_ come in here to talk. _Reminisce_, as Katsura had put it. And for some unfathomable reason, Ushiro seemed to want his company. "Alright, Ushiro-san."

The rurouni followed the tall fighter to a spot not far away, where Kano, a short, heavy man was already seated. Kano bowed briefly, "Battousai-san."

Kenshin nodded his head, "Kano-san."

He knelt quietly and waited for a few moments until Reiko, one of Okami's girls, came and served him some tea and soup. "Thank you," he said softly.

Reiko smiled and bowed, hurrying to serve another group of men.

After a few more moments of quiet, Ushiro sighed. "Well, this is sufficiently awkward."

"Oro?" Kenshin looked up as Kano grimaced.

"Well, what do you _expect _us to talk about, Ryu?" Kano asked. "I haven't had a mission in two days. Battousai-san has been missing. And I _know_ you don't have anything worth discussing."

Ushiro grinned. "Sure I do. How about an update on that anti-assassin?"

Kano raised an eyebrow.

Ushiro leaned forward, "He killed one of the Satsuma clan the other night."

"Really?"

"They're furious about it. Apparently Okubo-san is fighting that in the government. He claims they have no assassins working against the bukafu. That this man's involvement in their affairs was uncalled for."

Kano shook his head. "He _would_ say that. Satsuma also claims not to back Choshu, but Okubo-san has been doing wonders providing us with foreign arms. He's a genius at playing forces against each other. I only worry that he'll turn on Katsura-san."

"He's a decent man," Ushiro said, shaking his head. "He wouldn't harm someone on his own side."

"He's a politician. He's concerned about his cause and himself." Kano ate some of his soba. "I don't mean any disrespect, but Okubo-san plays a dangerous game. And it involves a lot of dirty work. I would not want to be in his shoes. Someday one of his pawns is going to turn on him. Mark my words, this anti-assassin is just the start."

Ushiro shook his head and laughed. "Fine, fine. Everything is a conspiracy with you, Kano."

Kenshin lowered his eyes to his soup, thinking again of Shishio. "I think this entire war is a dangerous game, that I do." Kenshin commented quietly, stunning the men into silence. "Okubo-san is not an evil man. That much I know. But it is easy for even good men to go astray. He walks a fine line, right now, that he does. We can only hope that in the end, his choices and sacrifices will be for the betterment of Japan."

Ushiro nodded, smiling a little. "Battousai-san," he commented lightly, "I think that's the most I've ever heard you say at once."

Kenshin managed a small smile before drinking some of his tea.

Kano grinned, seeming finally to relax a little around the hitokiri. "So, Battousai-san," he started, trying to keep the conversation flowing, "a lot of us have been wondering something. Maybe you know the answer."

Kenshin looked up at him, violet eyes meeting brown.

Kano continued. "You remember that girl you dragged in here last year? The pretty one that smelled nice. Any idea what happened to her?"

Kenshin flinched, but Kano didn't seem to notice, eating some more soba. "I just figured if anyone knew, it would be you. She seemed to have a thing for you. We were wondering… you know. Did you steal her off somewhere and have your way…?"

Kenshin's eyes had darkened, a raw pain so visible in them that even Ushiro noticed as Kenshin looked away.

"Kano, stop," Ushiro hissed.

But Kano ignored him, his curiosity getting the better of him. "Oh, come on, Ryu. You know you're wondering, too. A pretty girl like that doesn't just come out of nowhere in the middle of the night only to disappear again. Anyway, I've gone through some of Iizuka's old notes when he was checking her background for Katsura-san. Iizuka was pretty sure she was a whore from somewhere. She could have been interesting—"

He didn't get to finish. Kenshin stood abruptly, sending a sharp look at Kano. The hitokiri's amber stare silencing him immediately. "Do not speak of that which you cannot understand." His voice was low and menacing, sounding more dangerous then Kano had ever heard. Then again, at that moment, hitokiri Battousai _looked_ as deadly as he sounded.

The room had fallen silent again, but this time Kenshin was oblivious as he turned and silently left.

* * *

_1878_

The Aoi-ya seemed to awaken all at once. As Omasu went to alert the rest of the Oniwaban of Kenshin's absence, Kaoru began a frantic search through the inn. _Where had he gone?_ She couldn't help but worry about him. His health had seemed to improve, but then he had to go and disappear. And Kaoru couldn't help but think that his disappearance had something to do with their argument earlier. If he'd wandered off because of her… If they didn't find him…

Kaoru refused to finish the thought, whipping open another door and waking up a startled Sano.

"Huh? Wha—what's going on? I swear, it wasn't me…" he mumbled, only half awake. He blinked his eyes open to see Kaoru in the doorway, the soft moonlight from his window illuminating her. "Jou-chan?" he asked, eyes snapping open the rest of the way as he caught her expression. "What's wrong? It's Kenshin, isn't it?"

Kaoru blinked at him, startled. "How did you know?"

He was already on his feet. "Nothing else would have you looking that worried. What happened?"

Yahiko appeared behind Kaoru just then, rubbing his eyes. "Can't you guys keep it down in here? Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Well, wake up," Kaoru snapped. "Kenshin's missing. We need to find him."

Yahiko's mouth dropped open. "What?"

Kaoru had already turned and was pushing past him to search the rest of the Aoi-ya when she felt someone grab her arm and stop her. "Hold it, Jou-chan." She turned to see Sano looking at her with an alarmingly serious expression. "Let's get some details here. How do you know he's missing? Maybe he was hungry and got up for a snack. Or the way the Fox has been pouring tea down him, maybe he's… you know… indisposed…"

"Maybe he's taking a walk, like earlier," Yahiko added, sending a meaningful look at Sano.

Sano shot him a glare, and replied through gritted teeth. "You pipe down. We don't need to talk about earlier."

Kaoru shook her head. "No. He's gone, and it's my fault. I shouldn't have talked to him like I did. He's sick, and I practically accused him of lying to me and abandoning me." There were tears in her eyes, and she looked distressingly as she had when Kenshin had left her to face Shishio. "What if he thinks I don't trust him anymore? The only reason he ever stayed in the first place was because I didn't care about his past."

"Have you told him that recently?" Sano asked suddenly.

Her head snapped up and she looked him in the eyes. "What? No. He knows that."

Sano shrugged. "Yeah. Well, Kenshin knows a lot of things. Too many, if you ask me. But someone like him… who's been through so much… it just wouldn't hurt to remind him. That's all."

Kaoru closed her eyes, willing the tears away. "Yeah, well I'm never going to get a chance to tell him anything now, am I?" She suddenly felt so empty.

The last thing Kaoru had expected was for Sano to suddenly put his arms around her and draw her into a hug. "Listen Jou-chan," he said in a quiet voice, "if Kenshin left, it isn't your fault. Don't do this to yourself. He never leaves without a good reason, and he would never intentionally go anywhere without telling you goodbye. You know that. If he's left, it isn't your fault. And standing here panicking and crying about it won't bring him back." Sano finally pulled back and looked down at her. "Okay?"

She just nodded, feeling a little better.

"Now, what we need to do is talk to the others and figure out where he might have gone. And why…"

Yahiko sent Sano a sharp look. "I still think he went for a walk. He's not _himself_ lately, is he Sano?"

The fighter glared daggers at the boy. "We'll discuss that later, kid. Just get Megumi. Me and Kaoru'll go and see if Okina or the others have seen him.

Yahiko finally went down the hall, grumbling to himself, while Kaoru and Sano started off in the opposite direction.

"I don't think Okina knows that Kenshin's missing unless Omasu told him. She said that Okina was the one who let Saito come in to talk with Kenshin in the first place."

Sano froze in his tracks. "Saito… is here…?"

Kaoru stopped and turned, sending the fighter a strange look before nodding. "Well, he was. I think he left when we found Kenshin's room empty. He said he just wanted some answers from Kenshin, but I'm sure he was going to start another fight."

"Damn," Sano swore under his breath. If Saito had been there, then Battousai very well _may_ have run. In their talks, Sano never had gotten around to pointing out that the ex-Shinsengumi leader wasn't an enemy anymore. Well, mostly wasn't…

"Sano?"

"Let's hurry… just in case…"

They approached the entranceway to find Okina, Omasu, Okon, Shiro and Kuro already gathered in varying states of wakefulness. Yahiko and Megumi came in right behind them.

"First of all," Okina was saying, "everyone needs to calm down. Let's evaluate the situation." He motioned for Kaoru, Sano and the others to come in as he began pacing, hands behind his back. "Himura-dono is missing. Now ignoring the obvious fact that he has every right to leave when he wants to, and may be doing something completely natural, not to mention the fact that Himura-dono knows the streets of Kyoto as well as, if not better than the Oniwaban itself, especially at night, … What other information do we have to make this situation something to worry about? Besides the fact that he's been ill…"

"He's still not well enough to be out in the cold," Megumi cut in. "He was more than just sick. He was feverish and delusional last night. And he's recovering from a number of very deep wounds. He didn't let me check on him again today except to give him some tea, so I honestly don't know if Ken-san is well enough to be out or not. But, judging from the state he was in… I'd say no."

Okina's eyes narrowed. "Wounds? From what?"

"How am _I_ supposed to know?" Megumi snapped, frustrated and worried. "I only know what I saw, and I hardly had a chance to study them."

"We need to look for him," Kaoru cut in. "What if he gets himself sick again?"

"More important, what if Saito finds him?" Sano added, drawing Okina's gaze. "I don't think Kenshin's gonna get any sicker. But he's not in any shape to be fighting people right now. And you _know_ that it's gotta be a fight that Saito's after." Sano paused again, thinking of the sad, quiet youth. "Anyway… he shouldn't be left alone for long."

Okina nodded along with Omasu and Shiro, as Kuro and Okon exchanged glances, knowing where this was leading. "Right!" the old man exclaimed. "Fair enough argument. As soon as the sun rises, we'll look for Himura-dono. Until then, get well rested, so we have some energy."

"_Sunrise_?" Kaoru roared, glaring daggers at the older man. "You expect me to wait until _morning_ to find him? He got those wounds from _somewhere_. What if someone attacks him while he's out?"

"I pity the man who attacks Himura-dono right now," Okina said softly.

"Anyway," Megumi cut in, irritated. She shot an annoyed look at the younger girl. "I've already told you that those aren't fresh wounds. He's had them for awhile. Weeks… maybe even months. They've just reopened, so stop looking for enemies for Ken-san. He's perfectly capable of finding trouble on his own without your help."

"_What_ did you say?" Kaoru growled.

"Only the obvious."

Okina cleared his throat. "That's enough. Misao has received word that Aoshi is on his way back to Kyoto, so with her gone to meet him, I'm in charge of not only the Aoi-ya, but the Oniwaban-shu as well. And I'm pulling my weight here. We aren't going out until tomorrow." He turned to Kaoru. "I understand your wanting to look for him now, but it would be foolish hunting him down at night. We'd never find him."

"You're _ninjas_!" Kaoru exclaimed.

"And he is a hitokiri," he replied simply. "Searching for hitokiri Battousai in the dead of night would be like trying to find your shadow where there is no light. It's a waste of time and energy. By the time morning comes, when we'd actually stand a chance of tracking him down, we'd all be too tired to look. So we wait."

The logic finally seemed to sink in for Kaoru, and she looked away, refusing to make eye contact with the old man. "I understand," she said softly, the fight going out of her.

He smiled at her. "But we'll be up and looking first thing tomorrow morning. Don't worry. We'll find him." He walked up to her and took her by the arm, leading her back down the hall to her room. Yahiko followed as the rest of the Oniwaban-shu made their way to their own rooms, talking quietly amongst themselves.

Sano watched them leave. Then, gritting his teeth, he made up his mind and began walking toward the door.

"Where do you think _you're_ going, rooster?"

He turned to see Megumi still standing near the edge of the room, watching him.

"I'm going after Kenshin," Sano snapped. "What do you think?"

She stepped forward into the small pool of light cast by the lantern. "Don't you listen? Or was that too difficult a conversation for you to follow? You won't find him. Don't you think that the rest of us want him to come back tonight? You're just going to get yourself lost if you wander around Kyoto this late."

Sano glared at her. "I'm going to get myself lost if I wander around Kyoto tomorrow morning, too. We both know that. I know I can't track him at night. I don't expect to find him. But I have to look."

Megumi shook her head. "Why? If you know it won't do any good…"

"Because _someone_ should." He turned his back on her, and walked to the door, sliding it open partway. Without looking back, he commented. "While you've been checking out what shape his body's in, I've been getting a load of his mind. He's really depressed right now. And… I think he feels like he's alone here. Like he's just a burden to us or something." His hand tightened on the doorframe. "A lot of shit has happened to him. Like those wounds. And… other things. I haven't even figured it all out yet." Sano looked back at her, trying to find the right words. "But I just thought that when he comes back, it might mean something to Kenshin if he knew that _someone_ was worried enough to go out and look for him, even if that someone didn't have any real hope of finding him…." He shrugged. "So, you guys all go out and find Kenshin tomorrow. Fix up his injuries if he has any. And when I get back, maybe the fact that I was out there will help him, too."

"Sano…"

He shook his head and slid the door the rest of the way open. "I don't expect you to understand. I just don't want to see him break. He's so _close_. He's always so close, no matter how strong he seems. But this time he's walking the rail, and I'm kinda afraid he's gonna fall in."

With that, Sano stepped outside, and slid the door shut behind him.

* * *

Battousai raced through the streets with some urgency, this time knowing exactly where he intended to go. Even at his great speed, his footsteps were nearly silent, and he almost perfectly blended in with the shadows. He wasn't forced to go out in the open until the last stretch of his run, when he reached the outskirts of Kyoto. 

He didn't slow his pace until the bridge was in sight, brightly lit under the nearly full moon. The sight of the bridge sent him chills. This is where it had happened. Where he had tried to save that boy. And where he had first met Sagara Sanosuke.

Battousai hesitantly stepped onto the bridge, running his hand along the rough wooden rail. Was this all it would take? Him being on the bridge? Somehow he doubted it would be that easy. The redhead looked up as a cloud covered the moon, casting him into darkness. He kind of wished he had Sano with him at least. Just so he wouldn't feel so alone. The youth shook his head. What was he thinking? That was why he was here. To get away from them, so they could have their rurouni back and go on with their lives. He'd said it before. There was no room in this era for Battousai. They would be better without him.

He suddenly tensed, sensing a strong ki nearing. Not good. Whether or not Sano claimed that the Shinsengumi were still in existence, Battousai was no fool. He had sensed their ki near the inn. Who was to say that none of them were still alive? His eyes narrowed. There were some like Okita and Saito, whom he couldn't imagine even death being able to take.

He gave the rail a little push to be sure it could still hold his weight. It felt solid. He would have to make this quick if he wanted to avoid a fight.

Satisfied, Battousai stepped onto the rail.

* * *

He was late. It wouldn't have mattered with anyone else. They could be late. Hell, they could be dead for all he cared, but as much of a baka as Kenshin could be… if that boy said he was going to be somewhere at a certain time, then he was there. And Kenshin had insisted that he would grace Hiko with his presence that morning. 

Hiko scowled, walking through the woods on his way to Kyoto. The baka. And he was supposed to bring sake, too. Now Hiko was stuck going into Kyoto himself to buy some of the low quality garbage they sold there. He smirked a little. Fine. He'd let Kenshin have it if he ever decided to show up. Let _him_ get sick off the Kyoto sake.

The tall man sighed. He supposed he _could_ check and be sure that Kenshin hadn't gotten himself into trouble again. It was the only logical reason for that baka to be late. Not that Hiko had particularly _wanted_ his baka deshi to visit. That wasn't the point. He just didn't want to be the last one to know if Kenshin was off saving the world again. _From what this time? His own idiocy?_

Hiko snorted, emerging from the trees. The bright light of the full moon shone off of his white cloak, giving him the appearance of some fallen angel in search of alcohol. Then a cloud obscured the light, and the world fell into darkness.

As he approached the bridge, he noticed a shadowy figure climbing up onto the rail, then hesitating as if unsure whether or not to complete the jump.

Hiko scowled. A suicide. Sometimes the world truly disgusted him. The world was so diseased that people had lost all appreciation for life… even their own. It wasn't even worth saving them anymore. They'd just do it again somewhere else. Nevertheless, the swordsman picked up his pace.

The cloud finally passed as Hiko made it to the bridge, momentarily illuminating the man on the rail even as another cloud almost immediately passed them back into shadow. But that moment of clarity had been long enough. Hiko's eyes widened as recognition set in. He didn't even have time to think. Just as the redhead made a move to jump, Hiko came up and grabbed him by the collar of his gi, dragging the boy off the rail, and forcefully throwing him back onto the bridge.

He didn't know what he'd expected Kenshin's reaction to be. Who knew what was going through that baka's head at the moment…? But he certainly hadn't expected the redhead to immediately be back on his feet, drawing his sword.

Hiko cursed under his breath. _Wonderful, _he thought, readying his own sword. _The baka isn't even looking at me._

The redhead swung his blade, using the rail behind him as a kick off to increase his speed. It was a good move. Would have worked well on almost anyone else.

Hiko easily evaded it, jumping up and landing on the rail behind him. He balanced there, waiting for Kenshin's next move, not that there were a lot of options on a structure only six feet wide. _This is why I hate bridge fighting, _he thought sourly. _Let's just end this quickly._

Kenshin was already in motion, but his movements were too easy for Hiko to predict. Just as Kenshin's blade was about to hit its mark, Hiko leapt down, swinging his own katana. He intercepted Kenshin's blade, giving himself the opening he needed to crack his sheath across the baka's head. The boy immediately slumped to the ground. Hiko shook his head, disgusted. _What the hell had that been about?_ Then he saw the rail, and for a moment Hiko ignored the unconscious boy. He ran his fingers along the wood where Kenshin's sword had hit, feeling a deep cut in the wood. His eyes traveled down to the fallen katana at the boy's side, the sharp blade glinting as the moon came out once more.

He knelt beside his baka deshi, cursing again.

"What the hell have you gotten yourself into now?"

* * *

_Author's note: Yay! I finally got to start the Meiji Hiko scene! Been waiting for this one to surface ever since Battousai found out his shishou was alive. I'm so happy…_

_As to the last chapter, I'm glad so many of you liked Battousai's scene. It came out completely differently than expected, but I was pleased with it. I'm so happy to hear that you were, too!_

_And I'm glad the oopsies in previous chapters didn't bug you guys too bad. Please keep pointing them out, though. It helps oodles!_

_And onto reviewers:_

_BakaBokken: Just got into PMK myself. It's great, but a bit confusing for me. Is this a sequel to another manga? Because I keep feeling like I'm missing something…_

_Tmaurader: Good to hear from you again! Yeah, Ken-chan has a bad habit of choosing the worst ways to fix things. But he's still such a sweetie that it's hard to fault him for it._

_Kunoichi Rie: Glad you liked it. Didn't think it would bring anyone to near tears. That's cool…_

_DarkladyErisa: I'm glad to hear you like both parts equally. I have such a hard time with Bakumatsu (it's hard to get the research that I need… but I found a bunch of good stuff the other day) and I worry that it comes out weird…_

_Babika: Thanks. Okita is just so much fun to write (especially with Saito)…_

_Tastywheat: Thanks for the suggestions. I appreciate it. In defense of Battousai passing out like that in ch. 2. He's dealing with psychological stress, near hypothermia, and some old wounds reopening on him that weren't properly treated in the first place. I figure even Ken-san would have an excuse to pass out with that…!_

_GirlWaterShaman: Not sure if Soujiro will make it in here, but even if he doesn't, I'm considering him showing up in later stories…_

_Lady Battousai654: Hey, your time travel fic is a great concept. I wouldn't be reading and reviewing it if I didn't like it! On that note, thanks for reading mine!_

_Gypsy-chan: Nice thoughts. Heh… Saito isn't one to give up. We haven't seen the end of him…_

_That's it for now. As always, a big thanks to everyone who reviewed!_

_Dewa mata!_


	16. A Time to Listen

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 16: A Time to Listen**  
_

_1865_

Kenshin heard Ushiro get up and follow him, but he couldn't bring himself to slow down. He was afraid of his own reaction. For a split second, he had remembered distinctly what he had been like in this time. Why he had shut himself off from the world. Because for that split second, old instincts had overwhelmed him. The rurouni had been dropped, and the ex-hitokiri had been there for all to see.

Now he was struggling to control his rage, forcing down emotions that he'd spent years carefully controlling. Continuing this conversation would not be healthy for any of them.

But Ushiro was persistent, following him into the hall. "Battousai-san! Stop, please!"

Kenshin kept walking, turning a corner. He just needed to get to his room. That was what he needed to focus on right now.

"Battousai-san!" And just in front of Kenshin's door, the other man did the unthinkable. Kenshin felt Ushiro reach out and grab his shoulder, forcing him to stop. "Slow down. Let's talk."

Kenshin froze, startled by the physical contact. His eyes widened, the amber finally fading into the depths of a deep blue. "There is nothing to talk about," he said softly. But his voice still had a dangerous edge to it. Kenshin turned to look at the taller man, whose hand was still on his gi.

Ushiro seemed to finally realize what he was doing, and immediately let go. He cleared his throat, a little nervous. "Battousai-san. That isn't true. You were fine until Kano spoke." He smiled faintly. "In fact, you were better than fine. Today... well, it's the first time I think I've ever seen you actually talk with anyone else since Iizuka..."

Kenshin looked away.

Ushiro seemed to realize he'd hit another sensitive topic and he cursed under his breath. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned him... And I'm sorry about Kano, too. I didn't know he was going to bring her up. I swear, I didn't."

"It isn't your fault."

The taller man nodded. "I know that. But I wasn't sure if _you_ did." He paused a long moment before hesitantly adding, "It wasn't Kano's fault either, you know." He took a deep breath and continued before the startled redhead could speak. "How was he to know that she was a sensitive subject? It isn't like you've ever spoken about her to any of us. Honestly, it's not like you speak to any of us at all. You act like you're some kind of demon." He scowled, looking disgusted. "Like you actually _believe_ that garbage that people say about you. You walk around like a zombie, or you hole up in your room. You don't talk. You act like you have no emotions at all. But do you want to know what the truth is?" he asked, starting to get worked up about it. "The truth is that you're human. Just like the rest of us. Yes, you've killed more than any of us, and I honestly don't know how you stay sane with all you've had to do, but you're still_ human_. And if you keep acting like this, one of these days you're going to snap."

Kenshin remained silent, listening to someone who was actually willing to tell him the truth as he saw it.

Ushiro sighed, agitated. "And I really don't want to see that happen." He finally turned to look at Kenshin again. "Because the rest of those bakas can think what they want about you. I've worked with you a lot in the past six months, and what I've seen is a concerned kid who's willing to die, not just for a cause, but for people. That's no demon." He fell silent, looking away. Expecting that Battousai would just walk away as he always did.

To his surprise, the redhead didn't retreat.

"I am sorry, Ushiro-san," Kenshin replied quietly, studying the floor. He smiled grimly. "It's a difficult situation. _Now_... is a difficult situation." He sighed, frustrated that he couldn't say what he meant. He looked up, his troubled eyes meeting Ushiro's gaze. "You say I'm no demon. And you're right. I never claimed to be. That is a label placed on me by others. However, what I am is hardly better." His expression was pained and confused. Amber flickered deep within his midnight blue eyes as he struggled with his past. He wasn't even bothering with wearing the silly rurouni's mask anymore. It wasn't something he could maintain here. It would be enough right now if he could simply remain an _ex_-hitokiri.

Ushiro shook his head. "What do you mean, Battousai-san? What you are? You're a swordsman..."

Kenshin's eyes hardened as, in his his mind's eye, he saw bodies cut down by the hundreds. Blood painting the ground the color of his hair. "No, Ushiro-san. I am a murderer. That is all."

"That isn't true."

"Yes it is. I am a sword, Ushiro-san. And swords are meant to kill. That is the reality." He managed a gentle smile. "I appreciate your kind words, but even kind words will not change the truth." At that, he turned away, opening the door and entering his room, sliding it shut behind him. He was half-afraid that Ushiro would try to follow him, but after a moment or two, he heard the other man's footsteps retreating down the hall. Even Ushiro was not fool enough to follow a lion into its den.

Kenshin sighed and walked to the far side of the room where he had slept the previous night. Blood from his shoulder wound had left a dark stain against the wall. Kenshin knelt and touched it, thinking back to his words. "I am a sword," he whispered to himself. "I'm just a sword."

He rested his head against the wall, feeling exhausted. Wanting to sleep, but afraid of the dreams he would have. He couldn't take another like last night's. Reality was hard enough to hold onto as it was.

The sake bottle at his hip shifted just then, clattering against the floor. The sound startled Kenshin from his morbid thoughts, and his eyes snapped open. Slowly, he turned to look at it. "Shishou," he whispered, running his fingers along its smooth surface, suddenly feeling as frustrated and helpless as he had twenty years ago, when he'd first picked up a sword. It had been a long time since he'd been in a situation that he couldn't control... or even predict. It left him feeling like the helpless boy that Hiko had taken in.

Except he had none of that innocence. Kenshin had buried Shinta long ago. Even the gentle rurouni could not bring him back from the dead.

If anyone had a chance at bringing Shinta back, it would be Kaoru. That single thought seemed to shine through the darkness that had been consuming his soul. For her, he could not be just any sword. She believed in a world where the sword was used only to protect the innocent. His lips curved into a faint smile. She was as naive as he had been in his youth.

Which was exactly why he couldn't destroy her dream. He, of all people, had to remain a sword that protects. Because if even one as damaged as himself could change his blade... then maybe there was a chance that her pretty words_ could _become the truth.

He slid the sakabatou from its sheath and studied it for a moment, his eyes hardening with resolve. He would not allow her innocence to be destroyed as his had.

Carefully, he took his blade and began carving into the wall.

Okami would kill him for this... but he needed something tangible.

Just as Hiko's gift seemed to be sheltering his waking mind... He needed protection while he slept.

He leaned back to study his handiwork. A single word cut into the wood.

_Kaoru_.

* * *

_1878_

Someone was in the room with him. Battousai could sense a strong ki moving about. Was he captured, then? But that didn't make any sense. Who would just capture him and let him live? A hitokiri wasn't a worthy hostage. Not even one as infamous as Battousai. He didn't move, trying to piece together what had happened. He remembered the bridge. Someone dragging him from the rail. And fighting in the darkness. But who...?

He didn't get a chance to dwell on it.

"Alright," a deep voice boomed from just above him. "I know you're awake, so get up already. You've got a lot of explaining to do, baka."

It wasn't possible. The boy remained motionless, afraid to move at all. This couldn't be real. He was dreaming. He_ had _to be.

But there was no mistaking the owner of the voice the second time he spoke, this time kicking Kenshin lightly with his boot. "I said get up!"

The youth finally opened his eyes and pushed himself up. Even if this were a dream, Battousai knew it was best to comply with Hiko Seijuro or it would quickly become a nightmare. Even so, the redhead kept his eyes trained on his hands, unwilling to look his shishou in the eyes. Still a little afraid to see what time had done to the man.

He waited in silence for the ranting and the belittling. So, it was a surprise when a sake jug was dropped on the floor before him and the man sat in front of him, snapping, "Out with it. What happened?"

Without meaning to, the boy looked up at the older man. He was as imposing as ever and looked just as angry, scowling as he took a drink from his own jug of sake. Battousai noted with relief that with the exception of a few new lines on his face, time hardly seemed to have touched Hiko Seijuro. The little nagging worries that his shishou may have grown old and weak were replaced by the more practical concern of what this man was going to do to the one who had abandoned him to become a murderer.

He must have been staring for too long, because Hiko's eyebrow twitched in irritation, and his scowl deepened. He snapped, "You've put me into a bad mood, baka. I'd suggest talking before I get tired of waiting. What the hell were you doing on that bridge?"

Battousai was surprised he could even find his voice. "I just wanted to go home."

Hiko snorted and pointed toward the door of his small shack. "Tokyo is that way."

They boy's attention had momentarily been drawn to the new addition of shelves lined with pottery in the small shack, but at Hiko's response, he looked back at his shishou. "Tokyo?" he asked, confused, turning to look where Hiko was pointing... the general direction of Edo.

"Yes. Home. Tokyo. The capital." He sneered. "I didn't hit you that hard."

Battousai shook his head, overwhelmed. "The capital? But Kyoto..."

"What about it?" Hiko asked, taking a swig of his sake.

"Kyoto's the capital, Shishou... isn't it?"

At that, Hiko choked. The sharp look he sent his deshi this time was assessing, taking in the details of the boy rather than just knowing it was him. "Kuso," he swore, still coughing a little.

"Shishou?"

"Battousai." The older man's voice was flat, as he finally understood.

The youth nodded, looking away. So, Hiko hadn't realized. Battousai tensed, waiting for Hiko's rage. He would have to be angry now. There was no way he could ever understand the evils done by Battousai.

"Kuso," the older man swore again. "So, you switched places. Damn, this is going to make things difficult. Why the hell do you have to keep coming to _me_? Don't you know any other people who you can bother about this?"

Battousai bristled a bit at his shishou's anger, now that the surprise of seeing him was starting to wear off. His eyes darkened and his cold, emotionless mask dropped into place. "I didn't come to you. You brought me here."

"You were jumping off of a bridge!"

"I was trying to get home!"

Hiko snorted. "And killing yourself would have sent you back to the Edo Era?"

"I wasn't trying to kill myself!" the boy snarled, finally silencing the older man. "Why don't you listen to me? You never _listen_!"

Hiko leaned forward, his eyes flashing. "The last time I _listened_ to you was when you were getting ready to go off and fight a _war_, Kenshin. When you were giving Hiten Mitsurugi and yourself over to be used by people who would see you as nothing but a weapon. I _listened_, I said my piece, and I let you go. Are you happy that I _listened_ to you then?" He took a long drink of his sake, trying to ignore the blank mask that they boy had raised. It was disconcerting. He had _known_ this boy once. He'd understood what was going through Kenshin's mind, even if he'd disagreed with it. And even when he'd returned to finish his training, Kenshin had been easy to read. But this boy... this was different. His deshi had withdrawn into himself so much that even Hiko felt like he was running up against a wall.

The older man sighed and studied his baka deshi, who was now pouring himself some sake, refusing to make eye contact with his shishou. _This was what I was afraid of,_ Hiko thought painfully, starting to see the raw damage done to his deshi. _This is exactly what I was trying to protect you from, baka. Why didn't _you _listen to_ me_?

* * *

_

Kaoru hurried through the darkened streets of Kyoto, calling Kenshin's name. She'd been at this for hours to no avail. It would be sunrise soon, when Okina and the others would come to join in the hunt. She'd hoped to at least have searched the city by then, so they would only have the outskirts left to check. Better yet, she'd hoped to find him. Okina and the others were going to be furious when they found that she was missing. But she couldn't just sit around and wait for Kenshin to show up. She_ cared_ about him too much to just let him wander alone. And maybe Sano was right... maybe she'd been just making the assumption that Kenshin knew how important he was to her... to all of them. She couldn't take the thought of him being alone in this city, thinking that they didn't care enough to even look for him.

She turned another corner and hurried down a narrow street. But why did Kyoto have to be so big? She'd never find him at this rate. Kaoru passed an old, darkened building, and it was here that she suddenly stopped, turning to look at it.

The building was abandoned. It probably had been an inn sometime in the past, bustling with people, but now it just looked old and empty. She'd passed a number of similar buildings that evening, but there was something about this one that gave her the chills, at the same time drawing her. Slowly she made her way to the partially opened door, sliding it the rest of the way and letting herself in. _"Maybe he came in here to rest,"_ she thought, hopefully. Maybe that was what was drawing her.

She stepped carefully as dried leaves crunched under her feet and old papers rustled as wind blew through the open doorway. The main entrace was clearly empty. Kaoru paused, listening for the sounds of people. Her luck, this would be a criminal's hideout or something. But the only sound she heard was her own breathing coupled with her footsteps. She was tempted to call out to him, but something about the place forced her into solemn silence.

She quietly walked from room to room, finding nothing more than some old blankets in one. A few low tables in another. Cooking utensils in a third. She turned a corner and tried another long hallway. These were mostly bedrooms, filled with only a few ratty old blankets and similar items. She sighed, halfway down the hall. _This is hopeless,_ she thought, sliding one more door open, and peeking inside. Stacks of books were moldering near a back wall.

There was a rustling sound in the corner near the books. Kaoru hesitated only a moment before slowly edging into the room. "Kenshin?" she called, her voice barely above that of a whisper. She was halfway across the room when she discovered the sound's source. Out from behind one stack of books ran a large mouse.

Kaoru let out a small shriek, the creature's sudden appearance taking her by surprise. It ran to the door as the girl leapt out of its way, toppling the stacks of books in the process. She fell on top of them, bruising her shoulder, and scraping her arm against a rough spot on the wall.

"Stupid thing," she growled, rubbing her sore arm and feeling sorry for herself. Kaoru could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She slid off of the books, and sat on the floor beside them, her back against the wall. Tears threatened to overwhelm her. She was tired, and frustrated, and finally ready to admit that if Kenshin wanted to disappear, even _she_ wouldn't find him. _I'm never going to see him again. _ She'd never even known how he felt about her. Not for sure at least.

Kaoru leaned her head back against the wall, and felt the uncomfortable spot that she'd scratched her arm against as she'd fallen. She turned slowly to see what was adding to her discomfort, having to squint a little in the unsteady light of the setting moon.

Her blue eyes widened as she finally realized what it was. Kanji cut into a dark stain in the old wood. It must have been there for a long time to be worn down as it was. And it wasn't very big... but Kaoru could make out what it said clearly.

Her trembling fingers touched the worn kanji of her name, cut years ago into the wood. "Kenshin," she whispered. But it couldn't have been... This had to have been here years before they'd even met. It was another girl. Just an uncanny coincidence. But suddenly, she felt better. As though somehow through this kanji, Kenshin was watching over her.

Her tears finally fell as all of her fears and frustrations began washing through her. She sat again, leaning her head against the kanji and closing her eyes. She'd rest for a moment, and then go find him. He needed her, just as she needed him. She could almost imagine his arms around her, comforting her.

She smiled at the thought. "Kenshin," she whispered again before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

_1865_

He lay against Kaoru's name, resting his back against it and closing his eyes. He needed to get some sleep.

"Kenshin..."

His eyes fluttered open, and he looked around the room for the source of the voice. It was empty. He sighed, and after one final glance at the door, shut his eyes again. It had sounded like Kaoru, he realized suddenly. But of course that was crazy. He knew that.

Nonetheless, as he drifted off to sleep, he could almost imagine that she was there with him, protecting him... from himself.

* * *

_Author's note:_

_First of all, just in case some readers didn't understand the part with Hiko and Battousai discussing Tokyo. During the Bakumatsu (Battousai's time), the city of Tokyo was named Edo, and was not the Imperial capital. The Imperial Capital city Battousai would have known was Kyoto itself, which is why, of course, the Choshu Ishin-shishi were there in the first place. They were trying to deal with government issues (to massively abridge the issue). The era that Bakumatsu took place in was called the Edo Era.  
_

_ And to the reviewers:_

_omasuoniwabanshi: The PMK manga is really good, but it's a bit confusing. I wish I could find the manga that comes before it. Then I'd understand the plot better, I think. As to Saito... he's coming. Don't worry!_

_ Yami Chikara: The wolf's on the hunt... and that's all the public gets to know for now!_

_skenshingumi: Yes, as funny as "stupid Sano" can be, _I've_ always loved him for his fierce loyalty to Kenshin. Whenever I think of their friendship, the first thing that comes to mind is the line in the manga where he realizes that Kenshin is just like Captain Sagara... still fighting for a better world. And we all know how Sano hero-worshipped Sagara..._

_Marlingrl: Heh... yes, I've been dying for Hiko and Battousai to finally meet as well! I hope you liked them this chapter!_

_ BakaBokken: Oh, thank you for the PMK info. Please do tell me if you find anything on Shinsengumi Imon Peacemaker. I will do the same!_

_Rubber Shuriken: I'm sorry! How did I confuse you? (It may be something I need to fix!)_

_Crystal Snowflakes: (blushes) Thank you so much! I'm flattered!_

_Autumn's Fire: (hugs) Glad to see that you're back!_

_sRoze: (blushes a great deal) Wow. I'm really glad you like the story. And I loved the long review! Heh... I hope this chapter is up to par with the last few! It was hard to work on. Hiko and Battousai make up a harder combination to write than you'd think. They aren't like Hiko and the Rurouni. And I have to keep reminding myself that Hiko has _never_ met Battousai. This is new and almost... _scary..._ for him... He's being forced to see exactly what happened to his deshi without time as a buffer..._

_Gypsy-chan: I hope you liked Hiko and Battousai this chapter!_

_otaku12: Nice to see you back! Thanks! Heh... still stuck on wanting SanoXKen, hmmm? (smiles) _

_LilyoftheShadow: Confused? You're the second. Please let me know what was confusing. It may be an error in the chapter that I can fix! Thanks!_

_ And to all reviewers! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing this chapter! I hope to see you soon!_

_Dewa mata! _


	17. Revelations

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 17: Revelations**_

_1865_

Kenshin wasn't certain at first what had woken him from his blessedly dreamless sleep. But when he opened his eyes, he was surprised to find that the sun was sinking low in the sky. He'd slept most of the day away. He rubbed his tired eyes, trying to fully wake up. Then Kenshin heard the knock at his door. Clearly this was what had awoken him earlier. He stretched, only to be graced with a throbbing pain in his shoulder.

"Himura-san?" came a gentle voice from outside the door. Okami.

Kenshin winced, knowing that she wouldn't sound so gentle when she realized how poorly he'd been treating his wounds.

"Are you awake, Himura-san?"

He forced down a yawn, and stood. "I'm awake, Okami-dono, that I am. Please come in."

The door slid open and the older woman entered, carrying a basket of bandages and ointment in her hands. Nozomi followed with a tray of food. Her eyes remained on the floor, her cheeks slightly flushed.

Okami's eyes immediately focused on his bandaged shoulder where the blood had seeped through into his gi again and she sighed. "I had a feeling you weren't going to follow my instructions, Himura-san," she said, shaking her head. She motioned for Nozomi to set the food down.

The girl did so, and without a word left the room, sliding the door shut behind her.

"Well," Okami continued. "Let's have a look at you. Please sit, Himura-san."

Kenshin carefully removed his gi and sat in the middle of the room for her. She knelt beside him, unwrapping his side first. "Not bad," she murmured," discarding the old bandages and checking his wound. "This one is healing far more quickly than I'd expected. You're lucky it was a clean cut." She quickly treated and re-bandaged it before unwrappng his shoulder. Her reaction to this was less positive.

From the corner of his eye, the rurouni could see her flinch.

"How have your wounds felt, Himura-san?" she asked carefully.

"Felt?" He paused for a moment, thinking. "They've felt normal, I suppose. No different than any of my other injuries have. Why?"

"How does it feel when you move this arm?"

"Sore," Kenshin admitted. "But as you said, it's a deep wound. I expected that. Is something the matter, Okami-dono?"

She sighed. "Maybe not. The wound at your shoulder hasn't improved much. It may be nothing, but I'm worried about infection. The skin around the cut seems raw. Worse than it was last night. You really ought to see a doctor, Himura-san. There's only so much I can do."

"I understand. But I would prefer not seeing a doctor right now."

"It could get worse."

Kenshin nodded. "I know. But if the doctor gives me medicine for the pain, it will be too hard for me to focus. I can't afford that."

The woman shook her head. "If it gets infected, you could lose your arm. Don't try to tell me that something like_ that_ wouldn't ruin your focus also."

Kenshin didn't answer. She returned to treating his injury.

"Himura-san," the older woman said softly as she finished bandaging his side. "Look at me, please."

Kenshin turned to face her. "What is it, Okami-dono?" he asked.

But she said nothing, sitting back on her feet for a long moment, taking him in. Then, to his surprise, she gently took his chin in her hand and looked closely at his face.

He blinked at her in confusion as she finally pulled away, shaking her head. "If you didn't have that scar..." Her voice trailed off.

His eyes widened. "Okami-dono?"

She looked him in the eye. "If you didn't have that scar, Himura-san... that scar on your face and about a dozen others that I remember wrapping, myself... I wouldn't believe it."

He stared at her blankly. "Believe what?"

She looked at him with an expression of gentle warmth and confusion. "You have scars that I've never seen, Himura-san," she said softly. "And they aren't new. And..." She smiled faintly at him. "...you don't have the face of a child. You've been through a lot, I know. But worry lines come from time as well as stress."

Kenshin opened his mouth to speak, but she held up a hand, and he fell silent. "I don't want to know how or why, Himura-san. I just wanted to know if I was right. That is all."

At this, Kenshin managed a small smile, pulling his gi back on. "To be totally honest, I wondered if you knew last night," he replied. "I was sure you did, but you never said anything."

"I wasn't certain. It seemed odd, but you were in pain, and I was too busy worrying about that shoulder to really think on it until now."

He nodded. "You and Katsura-san are the only ones who know. I wish that it would stay that way for now, that I do."

"Of course, Himura-san. It isn't _my _business to tell anyone. But they'll realize eventually, you know."

The redhead looked a little sad. "Not likely. Many of them will not even look me in the eyes. How do you expect them to see a difference when they try so hard not to see me at all? I was a shadow assassin, Okami-dono. Many of the men, I think, would prefer that I remain a shadow."

She bowed her head and stood, gathering the basket of bandages. "Perhaps you're right, Himura-san. I wouldn't know. I only run this inn, after all, dealing with you men day in and day out. But what would _I_ know of them, hmmm?"

Kenshin smiled at her. "More than I do, I'd expect," he admitted with a small laugh, standing.

She looked at him, and to his surprise, gently took his hand in hers. "It's nice to see you smile again, Himura-san. It's been too long. I was starting to think you'd forgotten how." She squeezed his hand tightly. "And I'm glad to see that you're still alive. I worried about what would happen to a child forced to kill. But it seems that you have become a fine man. I'm happy for you."

He stared at her, wide-eyed, startled into silence.

She let go of him and finished gathering her supplies. "I'll leave you to your meal, Himura-san," she said softly before leaving him.

* * *

Harada Sanosuke sat alone in his room, pouring over a map of Kyoto. Ink spotted the paper, marking all of the locations that Battousai had been sighted. He'd spent the past two hours starting at this paper, hoping to see some pattern. Perhaps a location that the hitokiri was often based around. Or a progression of targets. But it seemed random. Battousai was wherever he needed to be. That was all. 

He looked down at his map again. Kondo expected him to find Battousai quickly. The anti-assassin was apparently already after hitokiri Shishio. It would be a matter of days before he targeted the hitokiri. This meant that Battousai had to be eliminated immediately. There was no time for mistakes.

But there was no _pattern_. How was he supposed to find hitokiri Battousai like this?

"Having trouble, Sanosuke?"

Harada's head snapped up to see the third unit leader standing in his doorway. "What do you want, Hajime?"

Saito smirked and entered the room. "Nothing really. You just looked so intent that I thought you were having trouble."

Harada glared at the map, figuring it was a better place to direct the look than at the swordsman beside him. "How do you hunt a shadow assassin, Hajime? There isn't any pattern to his attacks. He rarely leaves survivors. He never leaves a blood trail. Even if I sent the entire unit out patrolling the streets, I'm never going to find him unless he wants to be found."

Saito eyed the map. "You expected Battousai to leave you a neat little pattern? How about a trail of bread crumbs?"

The tenth unit leader glared at him.

Saito was unfazed. "You've never faced Battousai before, so here's a word of advice, Sanosuke." The tall wolf leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. "Don't underestimate him. It will be the last thing you'll do, if it's the real Battousai you're after."

"You still think he's a fake, don't you?"

Saito shrugged. "It doesn't matter what _I_ think. _I'm_ not the one going after him, am I?"

Harada scowled, dropping the pleasantries. "Why did you come here, Saito?"

The lean wolf smirked. "I want proof that I'm right. And I want to know _exactly_ who he is. If he's the real Battousai, he has two main attacks. His battou-jutsu is his primary. Don't try to beat him on speed, and watch his sheath. Otherwise, if he disappears on you, watch your back and the sky."

"The sky?"

"It's called Ryu Tsui Sen. He attacks from above. If you don't see it coming, you'll never see anything again." His eyes darkened. "That's all. Just do me a favor."

Harada narrowed his eyes at the sly unit leader. "What?"

"Watch him for me, Harada. Let me know what he does. How he attacks." He paused. "_If_ he attacks."

"I don't have to report to you, Saito," Harada snapped.

Saito smiled coldly, chilling the other man. "Of course you don't _have_ to. But Kondo-san specifically required that you tell him if this is Battousai or not. And since you've never seen Battousai, that means you either speak to Okita or myself, or you'll never know."

Harada didn't answer.

Saito smirked and pointed to the outskirts of the map. "Last night I faced him in this area. I don't believe he was part of the group we encountered. He was on his own. If it were _my_ mission, that's where _I'd_ start."

He turned to walk out of the room, pausing in the doorway. "Perhaps Battousai was looking for something..."

* * *

_1878_

Sagara Sanosuke walked aimlessly through the streets of Kyoto, hoping, but certainly not expecting, to catch a glimpse of his friend. Sano didn't even really know where to look. He'd only been to Kyoto a few times, and most of the places he knew were restaurants. Not spots that Battousai would frequent. The only place Sano could even think of that Battousai might be, was that old inn where they'd fought. But the fighter really couldn't remember where that had been.

He gritted his teeth in frustration. "Why did you have to take off like this, kid?" he growled, more to hear the sound of his voice than anything. Something about the empty streets of Kyoto was creeping him out. Especially these streets, near the outskirts of the city. The place where criminals were displayed.

His expression darkened. Or, in certain cases, the _heads_ of criminals. Sano hurried his pace, keeping his eyes on nothing but the road. He had a rough idea of where he was now. This wasn't far from where they'd displayed Captain Sagara.

Sano stopped in his tracks as memories over ten years old assailed him. He'd visited that spot every night for over a week after the Sekihou-tai had been betrayed. He hadn't known what else to do except visit his commander, and hate himself and everyone else for what had happened. He'd only been a kid, then. Too weak to protect the person he cared about. Too weak to even properly protect himself.

And he remembered the little nagging voice in his mind, whispering to him in his sleep. _The captain may have had a chance if he hadn't tried to protect you._

Sano winced and forced himself to continue walking. He was approaching the bridges. _No wonder I tried to kill myself._

What reason had he to live back then?

It wasn't until Sano actually stepped onto the bridge that he realized where he was. He blinked, finally forcing himself into the reality of the moment. It was the same bridge that he'd dragged Kenshin off of. The same bridge that years ago, the most deadly hitokiri of Bakumatsu had tried to talk him into living. Sano leaned against the rail and closed his eyes against the unsteady moonlight.

_And how do I repay you, Kenshin? I dump you into the river. Did you live through that? Did you wash up somewhere?_ His eyes snapped open as a worse thought struck him. _"Oh, god. Or did you wash up back _then?

"Damn!" he swore, angrily hitting the rail with his fist. "I'm such an idiot. Of course you didn't come out of the river. If Battousai is here, then you must have replaced him. I get to thank you for all you've done for me by sending you into hell."

Sano clenched his jaw and dropped his head to stare down into the icy waters. A cold wind blew over him as the gathering clouds obscured the moon. _It just doesn't change, does it? No matter how old I get. No matter how strong. Somehow I always put the people I care the most about in jeopardy._

"I'm sorry, Kenshin. If you make it out of there alive, I swear I'll never mess around like that again," he whispered, his eyes hardening. "Until then, I'm going to protect Battousai with my life if I have to. I'm not going to let you get hurt any more under my care." He looked up at the ominous sky. "Do you hear me, Kenshin?" he yelled. "I've got your back here. So, you just worry about getting yourself home! I'll never forgive myself if you die back there."

His only response was the distant rumble of thunder.

"I'm not losing another friend to that damned revolution."

* * *

Hiko had discarded the sake cup a long while ago, finding that the only way he was going to get the alcohol he needed to deal with this was by drinking it straight from the jug. Battousai was still working on his first cup. Sipping a little and looking everywhere but at his shishou. 

Hiko studied his baka deshi closely. Outwardly, he hadn't changed much. The same red hair and slight form. True, if you looked closely at him, he was clearly too young to be the rurouni. But who honestly would be _looking_ for differences like that? The swordsman sighed. Hell, _he_ wouldn't have even realized the difference if he hadn't suddenly remembered his deshi visiting him thirteen years earlier in the same situation. He took a long drink. It had been so much easier back then.

The problem here, Hiko had determined, was that he hadn't realized that Kenshin had fallen this far, even as Battousai. He had been afraid it would happen, but when his baka deshi had returned for more training, he'd seemed alright. Definately unstable, but nothing that couldn't be fixed. It had never occurred to Hiko that it had taken Kenshin ten years of wandering just to get to that point. Just to bring himself back to where he'd been as a child.

Hiko glowered into his sake jug before shooting a look at the redhead, trying to figure out how to get through to him. Kenshin had always been at his best under pressure. Scaring him or angering him... even hurting him a little... that had always worked in the past. It had kept the troubled child from falling into self-pity or withdrawing too much. And it had kept the errant teenager focused on improving himself. But that wouldn't work here. Clearly Battousai had already been pushed to his breaking point. More pressure would snap him, and as cruel as the swordsman could act, Hiko cared about Kenshin's welfare.

Somehow he had to get through to the boy without further damaging him. He scowled. This wasn't his field.

Without warning, Battousai set his cup down and moved to stand. "I should leave," he said in a flat voice.

"What?" The older man set down his jug, startled out of his thoughts.

The boy stared at his hands. "You've been glaring at me for the past ten minutes. I've overstayed my welcome. I'll leave. I'm sorry for bothering you, Shishou." He was on his feet.

"Sit," Hiko growled, masking his surprise with his usual show of irritation.

"What?" Battousai finally looked back up at him.

Hiko took the opportunity to _really _glare at him. "I said sit. I'm not through with you yet."

Battousai dropped back to his knees, looking a bit wary. "I wouldn't have come. I would have spoken to Katsura-san, if he were still alive," Battousai started, not sure where this was leading. "But you-"

"Shut up, baka," Hiko snapped. "Let's just get you home, so I don't have to go around dragging you off of every bridge in Kyoto."

Battousai glared sharply at the older man, earning nothing more than a small smirk.

"Let's start with the obvious. Any idea how you got here?" Hiko asked, taking a drink.

"No." The youth's voice was cold and flat.

"Fine. Then, any ideas as to _why_?"

"No."

The man took another swig of sake. "So, you don't see a purpose to this incident at all?"

"No."

Hiko raised his eyebrow. "Do you know any words other than 'no?' Or did the revolution stunt your vocabulary?"

Battousai withdrew further, causing Hiko to mentally kick himself. _Good job, Seijuro. Why not see how many more walls you can make him build? _That_ should be a treat to get through._

He switched tactics, irritated that the baka was being so stubborn. Of course, since when did Kenshin actually _cooperate_? "Listen, baka... I can't help you if you don't help me. I wasn't there, so you have to fill me in on your side of it." He smirked. "Anyway, I know you want to get away from me, so just look at it this way. The sooner we figure this out, the sooner we can get rid of each other. Now, think about it... is there any reason at all that you can see for winding up here?"

"I told you no," Battousai snapped. "There's nothing for me here. There's nothing for me anywhere," he muttered. "So, what _purpose_ could there be?"

Both men were silent. The youth sipping from his sake cup again. Hiko glaring into his jug, once again irritated by his inability to get anywhere with his baka deshi.

"You have friends here, you know," Hiko commented, starting to grow uncomfortable. Depression was not something he knew how to deal with. "Stop acting like you don't have a purpose for living."

"I have nothing," Battousai said softly. "They aren't _my_ friends. They're _his_. And I'm keeping him from them by being here."

"What are you rambling about?"

The redhead looked annoyed at having to explain himself. "He disappeared when I arrived here, so I'm assuming he's with Katsura-san now. He's where _I_ should be. As long as I'm here, I'm keeping him from his friends. Once they realize that, they're going to hate me. As it is, most of them only accept me now because they think I'm him."

"You _are_ him," Hiko snapped. "You're the same person, baka. And they _are_ your friends. Give them some credit. They aren't as stupid as you think. And that girl actually cares about you enough to-"

"She doesn't care about _me_. She loves _him_!" the youth finally exploded, taking his shishou by surprise. "She loves some person that I _might_ become." He looked away in frustration. "I don't even know who he is, really. How can I be a person that I don't even know?"

Hiko closed his eyes to block out the boy's pain, butit was still obvious in his ki. As was the cold emptiness. "You want to know what kind of person he is?" Hiko replied quietly.

He opened his eyes and sent the boy an assessing look. "He's a good man," he said softly.

His baka deshi stared at him in stunned silence.

"He's a baka that goes around saving people at risk of his own life, because he's gotten this idea into his thick skull that he can save Japan one person at a time. He's too stubborn to listen to people like me who know better. And just to spite me, he's pulling it off. He acts a lot like a certain boy I used to know. A baka with a good heart. That's who he is. Who _you_ are."

Battousai wouldn't look up at him. _Was this really how his shishou saw him? Was it possible that Hiko might even _respect_ him a little?_ "So, I'm still a baka," he muttered, trying to sort out his turbulent thoughts. "Sounds great."

Hiko snorted. "Baka isn't a bad word. Even great men can be bakas." He smirked. "Hell, I was a baka when I walked into a group of bandits, killing them just to save the life of some kid I didn't even know."

Hiko realized immediately that he had somehow said the wrong thing. Something shuttered behind the boy's eyes again, and that empty, lost feeling in his ki intensified.

"You should have just let me die back then," the youth said hollowly, regressing again. "Look at the lives I've ruined. What _purpose_ does my life have, Shishou?"

Hiko's brow furrowed. He wasn't getting through to the boy. It seemed like everything he said only caused Battousai to pull further away...

...And that last comment had actually _hurt_. Hiko had lost his own purpose when he'd still been very young, long before having ever found the boy, Shinta. He'd begun losing faith in himself and his ability to do anything worthwhile. And though he'd never said it out loud, in many ways his own purpose, the purpose he'd regained, was kneeling in front of him now.

"What's happened to you?" he growled. "I thought you were stronger than that. What happened to the boy I knew who would bury both slavers and murderers alike... because in the end, they were all just people?" For a moment the carefully maintained mask of Hiko Seijuro dropped, and a genuine expression of pain lit upon his face.

Battousai looked away, unable to meet his shishou's eyes. That flicker of pain across Hiko's strong features had been too much for him. _What just happened? _he thought, for the first time worrying a little about the powerful man. _Is he actually _upset_ about me? I don't understand. He hated me. How can I hurt someone who hates me?_

Hiko continued. "What happened to the only person I saw enough worth in to take on as an apprentice?" His harsh voice took on an almost gentle quality.

"I killed him." Battousai's own voice was barely a whisper.

"Kenshin..."

Battousai looked up sharply, his eyes flashing amber. "Don't call me that," he snapped, his voice taking a hard edge. "'Kenshin' is the name of a swordsman. I'm just a murderer."

Hiko stood, his large form seeming to fill the shack. His anger radiating strongly enough for the boy to feel it. The swordsman narrowed his eyes at his baka deshi and in a low, dangerous voice, growled, "I gave you that name, and I'll call you whatever the hell I want... _Kenshin..._"

Some of the darkness seemed to have fled from the boy's eyes as Battousai felt his shishou's anger. He bowed his head, for the first time really looking like the hurt, confused boy that Hiko had taken as his apprentice. "I'm sorry, shishou," he said softly. "I meant no disrespect. I was out of line." He looked up again, his eyes hardening a bit. "However, I won't have that name destroyed with me. I made my choice, shishou. I know you hated it, and I know I made you hate me for it, but I _chose_ to become a hitokiri." His eyes were distant and unfocused, almost as though he were talking from miles away. "You were right," he whispered. "I labeled myself a murderer. I tore my soul apart. I am not the boy you knew. I am not Kenshin. He was just another swordsman I killed in the end. I'm only a murderer now. Hitokiri Battousai. Nothing more."

He finally looked up at Hiko. "I'm sorry, Hiko-sama, for killing your apprentice. Label me murderer. But don't soil that name." His voice was pleading, his blue eyes wide and hurting.

The mask was down, and ironically Hiko saw_ his _Kenshin in those eyes for the first time that night. The sword master hadn't realized just how much the name he'd given Kenshin had meant to him.

Battousai dropped his head and closed his eyes, looking like nothing more than a tired boy.

Hiko knelt in front of him, and said gruffly, "Just a murderer?" He sneered. But the usual smug arrogance wasn't there. "Do you know how many I've killed as a free sword? More than hitokiri Battousai could ever claim." He sighed. "You killed for something you believed in. Your sin was allowing someone else to use you. Hiten Mitsurugi cannot take sides. I could never seem to make you understand that. But a murderer...? It doesn't matter what _they_ call you. You're only a murderer if you label _yourself_ as one."

The boy looked up at his shishou in surprise.

"So, in the end it's up to you, Kenshin," Hiko continued. "Will you be a murderer, or will you be someone who fights for a better world? You said it yourself... it's _your_ choice."

* * *

_Author's note: First of all, a big thanks to all reviewers. I'm sorry I'm unable to do my usual reviewer response, but i just spent the last couple of hours retyping this chapter (long story) without my glasses (they broke... longer story), so needless to say... I'm tired, and my eyes are really straining by now. Next chapter, I should be able to respond as usual. I'm really sorry. But I hope you all liked the chapter. Thank you for reading, and please review! _

_One other quick note. Thanks to everyone who pointed out my screw up on the date last chapter. (1978, I believe... heh... maybe I should write a one-shot for that as an "I'm sorry..." hehe...) That has been corrected now as well._

_Thanks again!_

_Dewa mata! _


	18. Moments of Weakness

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 18: Moments of Weakness**_

_1865_

The sun had finally set. It's last golden rays gleaming off the building tops like some beautiful magic before fading into a velvety black. From the inn, Kenshin had watched Kyoto undergo its terrible transformation. The bustling life of the city was crushed and erased as shadows took their turn to walk the earth. Kyoto. It was as though hell had touched down and released its demons on the unsuspecting city. Or perhaps Kyoto _was_ hell, and the sun and the people and the _life_ of day were only its disguise.

As the world went black, Kenshin turned from the window and slipped on his sakabatou. It was strange, viewing Kyoto like that. He'd never noticed the way it changed before. But perhaps that was because he'd been one of those demons himself once, unleashed upon the innocent. How should one of the fallen be _expected_ to view his home?

Kenshin slipped out the door of his room. He could finally see the streets of hell clearly. Sharply make out the horrors of the night. He could hate it now. And condemn it. And fear it. Oddly, that comforted him, because maybe it meant that even fallen angels could be forgiven, and allowed a fresh chance at life.

He managed to leave the inn without anyone noticing, and breathed a sigh of relief as he slid the door shut behind him and stepped into the cold night air. He didn't want Okami to know that he was going out if she didn't have to. And he was afraid that if Katsura were to find out, he would insist upon an escort, which would ruin everything. This was something that Kenshin needed to do on his own. No one else would be able to help him find that boy, and honestly having someone along with him who didn't understand the situation would only slow him down. Time was definitely something Kenshin didn't have to waste.

He hesitated uncertainly in the shadows of the inn_. Where should I begin looking, though? The bridge, maybe? _It was worth a try. It wasn't as though he had many options at the moment.

He slid fluidly through the quiet city. It hadn't taken long for the crowds to clear out, leaving Kenshin to the shadows. That was fine with him. It left fewer places for the boy to hide. Once, he dimly sensed strong ki nearby, and he paused, tense, but it was gone. Perhaps it was nothing. Just the stress of the past day finally getting to him. Nevertheless, it worried him, and he moved with even more urgency.

Kenshin was just nearing the outskirts of the city when he noticed the patrol unit. He felt their ki, different from that which he'd felt earlier, before he actually heard the footsteps. The redhead drew back into an alleyway just before the men appeared on the street. He pressed his back against a low building, and tried to ignore the sharp, protesting pain in his shoulder. He didn't want to fight them. He wasn't sure if he _could_. Whether or not he was willing to admit it to Okami, he had noticed that his shoulder was getting much worse. Moving his arm quickly caused him pain. He didn't want to imagine adding the weight of his sakabatou. The unit passed slowly, and for a moment, Kenshin was afraid they were going to stop and look into the alley where he was hidden. He could hear his own ragged breath, and fancied that they could as well.

The unit leader finally came into sight. A large, scarred man with a fierce expression. Kenshin knew him. Harada Sanosuke. They had faced each other only once, toward the end of Bakumatsu. The man was excellent with swords and even better with a spear. Not quite the same caliber as Saito or Okita, but certainly not someone to mess with in his condition.

The unit continued down the street without checking the alley. As soon as they were out of sight, Kenshin moved, following the network of alleyways instead of risking the streets again. It was a longer route, but safer.

He was very near the outskirts of the city, when a strong odor assailed him, and Kenshin froze. It was a scent he knew all to well. The scent of death. Something or _someone_ had been killed near here. But for how strong the smell was, it must have been there awhile. Why had no one cleaned it up? Even in Kyoto, bodies were not left for more than a day. Ignoring the dull sense of horror he was feeling, Kenshin continued on his path to the edge of the city. As he'd feared, the sickening, sweet odor intensified.

He finally broke out of the alley to a street at the entrance to the city. The silver crescent had risen, shedding some light on the scene, but it revealed nothing. Kenshin strained his eyes. He had been expecting a body, blood… _something_. But the street was empty.

Then he looked across the road, noticing the small, fenced-in area, and realized where the smell was coming from. It was almost as though he had no control over his own body, as he slowly approached the displayed head of Captain Sagara of the Sekihou-tai.

It clearly hadn't been up long, maybe a week at most, but even in the cold air, decay had already made it unrecognizable. If Kenshin hadn't remembered visiting this spot once in his youth to see what the commotion had been about, he wouldn't have known the man. He looked away, and his eyes caught a notice posted nearby. _"Sagara Souzou. Leader of the false army, Sekihou-tai."_ And just below that._ "Traitors will not be tolerated."_ Kenshin's eyes darkened at the irony of that statement. And what right had they to speak of traitors?

"I am sorry," he said softly, feeling for the man. "I am sorry for what they did to you… patriots like myself. Like you once were. I know what it is like to be a tool of the Ishin-shishi. We are very much alike, I think, you and I. Both swords used for different purposes. But both still fighting for a new age. And… both of us very nearly ending the in the same way." His eyes were distant. "Had Katsura-san not stepped in… Had I not left Kyoto…" He paused, looking back at what remained of the captain. "Very much alike. I wish I could have known you in life, Sagara-san. But perhaps you would like to know that your death will not be forgotten, nor will it have been in vain. A very good man grew from that night." The rurouni smiled gently. "So, rest." Kenshin finally turned away from the gruesome sight. Forcing worried thoughts of Sanosuke from his mind. He was wasting too much time here. And it wasn't as though he was going to find that boy in such a place.

He'd just begun walking toward the bridges when the unit came upon him. The wolves had to have been circling the area. Hunting. And Kenshin had been so focused on Sagara that he hadn't even noticed them until too late. He turned to face them, angry with himself. It was too late to run. He had to defeat them… somehow. "This isn't good," he murmured under his breath, as he fell into a battou-jutsu stance. He ignored the twinge in his shoulder as he pulled his arm back, allowing his fingers to brush the hilt of his sword. He focused his eyes on Harada. The others he could deal with, even injured… but Harada. He needed to take the unit leader out quickly.

The unit was in motion. Kenshin drew his sword defensively, ignoring the sharp pain shooting down his arm, and within moments there were four bodies at his feet. No time to think about it. He ducked and felt a katana from behind him displace the air just above his head. Turning, he thrust the hilt of his sakabatou into the man's abdomen. Then he stood, turning at the same time, striking two more men with his sword.

Time must have stopped, because by the time Kenshin stood alone with only Harada and several unconscious bodies as company, the moon had barely risen over the trees. It had taken no time at all. But to Kenshin, it had been an eternity. He slowly and painfully slid the sakabatou into its sheath and turned to face the tenth unit leader. He couldn't keep doing this. He could feel the warm blood soaking through his gi where his shoulder wound had reopened. And when he slipped back into the battou-jutsu stance, he felt his hand tremble as it brushed over the hilt. "Please don't do this," he said softly to Harada. "I don't want to fight you."

The unit leader glared at him. "I've heard much about you, hitokiri Battousai. You are as good as they say. I almost regret having to kill someone of your caliber." His eyes narrowed, and he sneered. "Almost."

Harada took the offensive. His moves were wide and easy to read, but Kenshin still was having a difficult time with the leader. His arm was ready to give out, and this time, when he drew his blade, he noticed that his grip had weakened as well. He almost lost the sword when Harada struck. Kenshin spun, using the centrifugal force of his movement to add strength to the blow. He caught Harada in the back. The man coughed blood, but didn't fall. "Interesting," Harada murmured, spitting more blood from his mouth. "Perhaps Saito isn't so crazy after all."

Kenshin didn't have time to wonder about that, as Harada came at him again. Kenshin easily evaded him, and was surprised when the unit leader didn't stop, instead continuing to a building. He sliced a long pole from an awning and turned back to Kenshin, sheathing his sword and swinging the sharp pole as though it were actually a spear. He grinned. "You're good, but you aren't trying to kill me, are you? Not much of a hitokiri… And soon you won't be much of anything at all."

The redhead's eyes narrowed. "You talk too much, Harada Sanosuke."

The large man ran at him, swinging his handmade spear.

Kenshin managed to block it once. Twice. But by the third time, his grip on his sword had grown too weak, and again Kenshin nearly lost the sakabatou. He barely managed to twist out of the way, receiving a shallow wound in his chest. He leapt backwards, correcting his grip on the sakabatou, and re-sheathing it, again slipping into battou-jutsu. Sweat was beading on his forehead and his breathing was harsh.

Harada knew he had the upper hand and was taking his time, now. Watching Kenshin's movements for some reason. He wasn't exactly _playing_ with the rurouni. It felt more like Harada was _testing_ him. But Kenshin couldn't think on it. Harada was readying his "spear" for a deathblow. "Goodbye Battousai. Say hello to your comrades for me in hell."

Kenshin's entire arm was starting to tremble lightly from the strain of the fight. _I don't want to die here, _he thought. _I _can't_ die here. I have people waiting for me. Family and friends. And I promised… I promised I wouldn't die this way._

Harada charged him.

_I still have too much to live for! _Kenshin moved, drawing his blade. He didn't even realize what attack he had instinctively chosen until it was finished. Harada lay ten feet away, flat on his back, with a large diagonal wound across his chest.

The sakabatou fell from Kenshin's shaking hand, and he dropped to his knees, worn out from the Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki. Dimly, Kenshin heard someone moving toward him. He knew it was one of the unit. The one he had only struck in the abdomen and hadn't bothered actually knocking out. _Stupid mistake_. But he didn't have enough strength left in his arm to pick up the sword, and he finally just closed his eyes.

He was surprised to hear the clang of metal against metal, as one sword was blocked by another, followed by a sharp shout and the man flying through the air, only to be knocked out when he landed a distance in front of the rurouni.

Slowly, Kenshin looked up to see who his savior was.

Hiko Seijuro scowled down at him. "You baka, I can't even leave you alone for one day without you almost getting yourself killed. Pathetic."

* * *

_1878_

Battousai was alone in the shack. Hiko had left him to himself awhile ago stating that he was going to a nearby town to pick up some food. But Battousai wasn't as stupid as Hiko thought. He knew that his shishou had left to give him time to think.

_"You're only a murderer if you label _yourself_ as one…"_

Battousai finally finished his cup of sake, surprised to find that some of the taste of blood had gone from it while they'd been talking. For a moment there, speaking with his shishou, he'd allowed himself to sink to his lowest point. For the first time ever, he'd admitted the guilt and pain and self-hatred that had been weighing on his soul, and to Hiko Seijuro no less. The man who Kenshin had been sure would be the first to condemn him.

"_Will you be a murderer, or will you be someone who fights for a better world? … It's your choice…"_

The youth stood, shaking his head. Was there really still a choice? He'd been taught that the path of a hitokiri was one that could not be strayed from. Once you killed, the blood was on your hands. There was no changing that. His innocence had died the night of his first mission. He could never regain what he'd lost. And he'd killed so many. How could he change paths now? Did he have enough of a soul left to salvage?

Battousai began walking around, looking at the shelves of pottery and trying to take his mind off of these frustrating thoughts. What _was _all of this anyway? An elegant tea service. Several urns. And… well, he could see why the collection of sake cups was there. But the other pieces… they all seemed too delicate for the rough master swordsman to bother with.

He looked around the room, and spotted the large trunk that his shishou had been seated on earlier. Curious, the boy approached and knelt before it, uncertain of what he'd find inside. Probably more sake. Just as his fingers brushed the rough wood, the cold, gray light streaming through the door was obscured by a large shadow.

Battousai looked up to see Hiko standing in the doorway with a strange expression on his face. The boy's eyes widened, and he sat back away from the trunk, looking like nothing more than a guilty deshi who had been getting into his shishou's alcohol.

Hiko set his load down just inside the door, and approached Battousai, smirking a little. But that strange look was still in his eyes. "I wasn't sure you'd still be here," the swordsman commented lightly. "I thought you were going to run on me again."

The boy looked embarrassed. "Where would I run to?" He glanced away from the trunk, as though it held no interest for him. But he couldn't meet his shishou's eyes either… which meant he was stuck staring at the floor. Like that didn't make him appear even more guilty…

Hiko snorted, and motioned to the trunk. "You want to know what's inside, don't you, baka?"

The boy looked up, alarmed, his mouth partway opened as though he were trying to think of a realistic way to deny it.

The tall man smirked at him. "That's where I keep things that are important to me. Stuff I don't like just leaving out. But look if you'd like." He nodded to the wooden box. "Open it."

"I—I don't have to see," Battousai muttered, uncomfortably.

"Just open it, baka," Hiko snapped. "I don't need to have you staring at it all day, imagining god only knows what inappropriate things." The swordsman turned and began preparing some breakfast.

Battousai hesitated for only a moment before firmly grabbing the rough, wooden lid and pushing it up. At the top was the sword, "Winter Moon," heirloom of Hiten Mitsurugi. Battousai remembered when Hiko had first shown it to him, trying to use the beautiful blade as a way to snap the small boy he'd taken in out of his depression. It was ironic that now, this was the first thing he saw. Very carefully, Battousai removed the sword. Beneath it was a stack of clothing. A magenta gi, followed by several that were pale green and dark blue. It took him a moment to realize that all but the pink one were his from childhood. The boy sent the older man a wide-eyed look, but Hiko wasn't watching.

Battousai turned back to the trunk. Under the clothing was his training katana, and some of his calligraphy work. Some small, stupid pile of interesting rocks that he'd found and had stubbornly insisted on giving to Hiko as little "gifts." The shell he'd once found for Hiko to use as a sake cup. It was all in here. He remembered all of these things. It felt like so long ago, and suddenly Battousai realized that for Hiko, it _had_ been a long time. Years. He looked up to see Hiko's back toward him. "You kept these?" he whispered, his cold voice finally softening a bit.

The swordsman paused briefly, but said nothing.

Battousai wasn't sure that he'd really expected an answer anyway. And he really wasn't prepared for one. Looking back into the trunk, he saw one other item tucked in the corner. It was a small, misshapen piece of pottery. The youth pulled it out, and to change the subject asked lightly, "What's with all of the pottery, Shishou?"

Hiko finally stopped what he was doing to look at the boy. "I make it now."

Battousai almost dropped the pot in his hand. "You… you made all of this?" Again his eyes were drawn to the delicate pottery lining the wall.

The man raised his eyebrow. "Is that so surprising? Someone of my caliber would have no problem doing anything that he set his mind to." He flashed an arrogant smirk at his baka deshi.

Kenshin ignored the smirk, holding up the piece in his hand. "Like this?" he asked, looking almost amused. "I don't blame you for hiding it."

His shishou snorted and shook his head. "I wasn't _hiding _it. The ones on the shelves are those that I'm willing to sell. That's all. That one isn't for sale, so I keep it away from prying eyes."

"Who would buy it?" the boy commented.

The older man managed a small smile. "People are willing to buy the strangest things." A wicked gleam came into his eyes. "Perhaps I _will_ try to sell it. I could name the piece 'Kenshin,' since you don't seem to want your name anymore."

The youth's eyes shuttered off again, but not so tightly as they'd done earlier. Hiko didn't fail to notice that his deshi seemed to finally be pulling out from behind his mask. He chuckled. "Yes, 'Heart of the Sword' would be a good name, wouldn't it?"

Battousai just sighed. "Great, Shishou. Name the broken one for me."

The swordsman raised an eyebrow. "No," he replied. "It's not broken."

He spoke with such force and conviction, that the boy looked up into his face in surprise. But his shishou's expression was distant. "I just made a mistake on it. It was my first piece, and I rushed it. I stretched it too far. Pushed it too hard. I expected it to be perfect. It wasn't ready when it was thrown into the fire, but it was too late for me to try to fix it by then." He seemed pained. "I was sure it would shatter, but instead it changed in the kiln. I suppose it was stronger than I'd thought. When it came out, it wasn't what I'd expected, but it was whole, and maybe better than what I was trying to force it to be."

The look on Battousai's face was almost comical, as he stared at his shishou as though the man had gone crazy. "It's ugly," he said.

Hiko focused back on the damaged boy before him, commenting, "Good things aren't always the most beautiful."

"When did you become the philosopher?" the youth asked.

Hiko merely smirked, and replied, "When did _you_ become the cynic?" He didn't give Battousai a chance to answer, handing him a bowl of poorly prepared rice. "Here. Eat."

The redhead accepted the bowl, giving its contents a wary look, and poking at it a bit before putting some into his mouth. He choked. "Shishou, rice isn't supposed to be this dry… or crunchy." He chewed at it and swallowed hard. "How do you live on food like this? This is worse than Kaoru-dono's cooking."

"Stop complaining and eat," Hiko growled. "It isn't like _you_ cooked anything."

Battousai crunched into some more rice, muttering, "It doesn't taste like _you_ cooked it either."

Hiko scowled, and grabbed a sake jug, pouring some of the clear liquid into the rice, and mixing it up, before eating some, himself. "Just add some sake and it tastes fine."

"Shishou," the boy said, his eyebrow twitching in irritation, "you aren't supposed to add sake to everything you cook. _Everything_ doesn't need sake in it."

"Alright," the swordsman replied. "Then you just keep crunching through it." He was enjoying this. Kenshin was back. Not completely, but he was there in the boy's eyes again. Funny how it was just these little, everyday things that were drawing him out.

The boy silently added some sake to his own rice, and winced at the taste.

"What's wrong, now?" Hiko growled.

Battousai was quiet for a moment, before replying. "I don't like sake much anymore, Shishou. It… it all tastes like blood. Everything tastes like blood now, but sake I think has become the worst."

They ate in silence for a few moments before Hiko said quietly, "That goes away eventually, you know."

The boy looked up in surprise, but the older man wasn't looking at him.

"It will taste like blood for a long time, as long as you keep torturing yourself about the deaths you've caused. Sake is a sensitive drink, and its flavor depends a great deal on how you feel, on what is weighing on your heart. You won't be able to enjoy it until you begin to forgive yourself. Trust me. I know."

"Shishou…" His voice was a mere whisper.

Hiko shrugged it off. "It's in the past. Right now, we need to worry about getting you home." He shot the boy a hard look. "But it's going to take time. I still don't really know anything about how you got here, except for some rambling you gave me last time about following some kid into the river."

Battousai blinked up at him. "Do you think that has something to do with it?"

"I don't think anything right now," Hiko snapped. "I'm just saying that's all I have to work with. You're going to have to give me some time to work something out. Meanwhile, you aren't staying here."

The boy's eyes widened in alarm, "But, Shishou—"

"I live alone in the woods for a reason," Hiko growled. "It's to stay away from annoying people who like to pester me. Do you know what's going to happen if I let you stay here? Your friends that you claim not to have are going to track you to me. So, if you want my help at all, you're going to do me a favor and go back to them."

"Shishou, you don't understand…"

"The hell I don't. I've dealt with this before. They come out of the woodwork when you go missing. I don't know what these people see in you, but last time I couldn't get rid of them for a week. Go home to them. Don't run. They'll find me. Don't jump off a bridge, because I'll sure as hell find _you_. Just go back to them, and leave this to me."

Before the youth could respond, there was a sudden crash outside, followed by an annoyed voice shouting, "Kuso, who put that log there? Where the hell am I now?"

Battousai's eyes widened in surprise. "Sanosuke?" He leapt to his feet.

Hiko snorted. "Great. They're here already." He took a swig of sake straight from the jug.

Sano poked his head in the doorway. "Hey, sorry to bug you, but I'm looking for some—" He stopped when he saw Battousai standing in the room. "Kenshin!" he exclaimed. He looked past his friend at the annoyed man behind him. "Then I guess you must be Hiko Seijuro," he said. "I'm Sagara Sanosuke."

Hiko scowled. "I honestly don't care who you are. Are you here for my baka deshi, or are you planning on just standing in the doorway?"

"Shishou, please," Battousai said softly. He turned back to Sano. "What are you doing here, Sanosuke?"

The fighter's expression turned serious. "I've been looking for you all night."

"Why?"

Sano just stared at him. "You just took off on us. The Aoi-ya has been in an uproar. Kaoru's convinced she's lost you forever. Everyone was planning on going to look for you as soon as the sun rose. I took off once I heard you were missing."

"I wasn't planning on killing anyone, Sanosuke," Battousai said coldly. "You didn't need to trouble yourself."

Sano's fist tightened, but he managed to restrain himself, replying through clenched teeth, "I wasn't afraid you were going to hurt anyone else. I was afraid you were going to hurt yourself. This isn't the Kyoto you're used to. And you've been depressed. How blind do you think I am? I just feel lucky that I didn't find you trying to jump off of a bridge or something."

Hiko snorted, alerting them to his presence again. "As fascinating as this conversation is, why don't you take it someplace else? My baka deshi and I are through talking, and honestly, I'm sick of listening to you. So just take him back, and leave me alone."

Sano made a threatening movement toward Hiko, only to find Battousai blocking his path.

"That isn't a good idea, Sanosuke," he murmured. "Especially unarmed."

"Arrogant jerk," Sano said just loud enough for Hiko to hear, before stomping out of the shack.

Hiko hardly spared him a glance. "Baka."

Battousai smiled a little and turned to the swordsman. "Shishou…" He paused. "Thank you for… just… thank you."

"You're still here," was Hiko's only response.

The youth nodded. "I'm leaving." He began walking toward the door.

"Kenshin."

Battousai stopped.

Hiko's voice was quiet, the harshness gone from it again. "I once told you that someday you would understand what makes sake good, and that then I would pour it for both of us."

"Yes, Shishou."

There was a long pause. "It will stop tasting like blood, Kenshin… someday. I still plan on pouring sake with you, when you can enjoy it again."

Battousai smiled faintly at the man before him, suddenly remembering why he'd been able to see this man as a surrogate father. "Thank you, Shishou. I… look forward to that day."

With that, he stepped out of the hut and into the cold, gray dawn. He walked up to Sano who was sitting on Hiko's log, glaring at the kiln. "Are you ready, Sanosuke?"

The fighter stood. "Yeah," he said, following Battousai out of the clearing. "I can't believe that guy trained you. How did you come off so polite with _that_ as a mentor?"

The redhead only smiled as Sano continued his rant. He didn't stop until they'd reached the main road just outside of the forest, where the bridges became visible again. Just as they stepped onto the road, Battousai froze, raising a hand to silence Sanosuke.

Sano stopped. "What's wrong, Himura?"

But the redhead didn't answer, his narrowed eyes scanning the surrounding area. He'd felt it again. That ki. Watching him.

He caught movement from the corner of his eye, and turned in time to see a wolf casually approach from the shadows. A wolf in officer's clothing.

* * *

_Author's Note: Okay… big apology in order for taking sooooo long to update this story. I've had a kind of rough past few weeks. And this was a very difficult chapter to write. I hope the chapter makes up for the long wait. I hope to have the next chapter of "In Due Time" up within the next few days as well (it's written and just needs editing…)_

_Oh, and I've mentioned before that I co-author with a friend under the name "DumbledoresDelight." Well, that friend has finally opened her own fanfiction account here. She goes by the name "FrostPhoenix." Please check out her Kenshin story, and drop her some reviews! Shamelessly hyping, I know, but I think she deserves some hype! Thanks!_

_Thread-Spool: Thanks for the plentiful reviews. I hope this chapter was up to par!_

_Ms. Zeal: That isn't a mistake, so don't worry. Kenshin has a reason to not remember his time in Meiji as Battousai._

_sRose: Actually I'm very flattered that you're trying to predict the ending… and don't worry… I won't ruin it for you by telling._

_Lolo popki: Your reunion scene will be excellent. Can't wait to read it!_

_Dark-bitch: Battousai is still smitten with Tomoe… but that doesn't necessarily rule anything out…_

_WhiteRabbit5: Oh, thank you for the long review. And the three stages of Kenshin's life is exactly what I focus on a lot of the time (especially when I write this story), so I'm glad you mentioned it!_

_Omasuoniwabanshi: (laughs) Yes, I'm starting to love Okami even more than ever as well!_

_To everyone else. I'm soooo sorry that I didn't respond to more of you, but I have to go to work in two minutes, and I want to upload first… So, thank you all for reading and for your absolutely wonderful reviews!_

_Dewa mata!_


	19. True Strength

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 19: True Strength**_

_1865_

They stared at each other in silence. Kenshin, trying to steady his breath, while leaning heavily on his good arm. Hiko, glaring down at the baka deshi whom he'd sworn he would have nothing more to do with. They were like this for a long, eerie moment. To Kenshin it was surreal. Like some kind of hazy dream, where impossible things, like Hiko's timely arrival were nothing out of the ordinary. _But it couldn't be a dream_, he thought, putting pressure on his shoulder when it throbbed suddenly. _You couldn't feel pain like this in a dream. At least not pain of the physical sort_.

It was Hiko who finally broke the silence, the cold arrogance in his voice at odds with the depth of concern in his eyes. "I thought I told you I didn't want to have to save you again. Why can't you ever listen?"

Kenshin blinked up at the tall swordsman. Still confused by the events in the past few moments. This couldn't be. In Meiji, perhaps his shishou would have come to help him. But here… in Bakumatsu? When their fight was still such a fresh and bitter memory…? Even if they _had_ spent some time talking, the rurouni had held no doubts that Hiko had meant it when he'd said he was going to forget all about his baka deshi as soon as they parted. "Shishou…" Kenshin said, wheezing a little, finally finding his voice. "I don't understand. What are you doing here? Why did you—"

Hiko snorted, sheathing his long blade. "Why did I come to help?"

Kenshin nodded.

"I didn't. Don't flatter yourself. Your little fight just happened to be in my path. I came here to buy some sake."

Kenshin stared blankly at him, his mind still a bit hazy from the pain. Sake? At this hour? He looked away before a thought suddenly struck him, and he glanced back up at Hiko. "Shishou," he said, his voice taking on a slightly suspicious tone, "you don't like Kyoto-made sake, that you do not. You have always refused to drink it."

Hiko scowled, looking away from his deshi at the bodies scattered across the street. "You're overthinking things as usual. Sake is sake." He eyed Kenshin, who was still kneeling on the ground, clutching his shoulder. His blade lay before him. They were going to have to leave here soon, unless they wanted things to get ugly. But the baka didn't look too good, and Hiko had to fight a little to bury some of the concern in his eyes. It wasn't like Kenshin to stay down so long, especially huddled the way he was. "Why don't you stop just kneeling there and get up?" he snapped, hoping that his deshi was able to do so. "I'm getting tired of talking to the top of your head. Since I had to save you again, the least you can do is face me like a man." _Why wasn't he moving? How badly did they hurt him? What if one of those wolves had dealt him a fatal blow, and the baka was dying under his nose? _But to his relief, Kenshin finally nodded and began moving.

The rurouni slowly reached for his sakabatou and barely managed to sheath it. His arm was still shaking badly, and he couldn't help but remember what Okami had said to him. That if he strained that arm further, he could lose the use of it. The truth behind that comment was becoming evident. He slowly managed to pull himself to his feet, but he was tired and in a lot of pain. Speed was no longer an option. He had a funny feeling he wouldn't be finding that boy tonight after all, and Katsura was going to _kill_ him when he returned.

"You look like hell," Hiko said, again glancing at the fallen tenth unit in disgust. Not much of a unit, by the looks of it. "_They_ managed to do this to you?" He snorted. "You've gotten weak in ten years."

"Shishou…" Kenshin said softly. "I'm no longer a hitokiri, nor do I have a hitokiri's strength. You know that."

"You don't have to be a hitokiri to fight well," the swordsman replied sharply, unconcealed anger flashing in those dark eyes.

Kenshin looked down, pained and a little ashamed. "Perhaps not, but they expected hitokiri Battousai. A man will put everything he has into a fight if he thinks his life is on the line." His eyes shifted to gaze at the still form of Harada Sanosuke.

The tall swordsman noticed, and turned to follow his gaze. His eyes fell on the fallen unit leader, and for a moment he still didn't quite understand, until he saw the deep, diagonal gash across the man's chest. Hiko's eyes widened into a rare expression of shock. Without another word to his deshi, he strode to the body and knelt over it, checking the injury. It was a large indentation. Very little blood, and a great deal of bruising already under the torn clothes. The swordsman ran his fingers over the wound, and was surprised to feel the slight rise and fall of the leader's chest. Hiko's expression was one of deep thought.

_It can't be…_ Hiko thought. _This is impossible…unless he _did _come back to me eventually. He must have finished his training. Why didn't he tell me? _He felt a flicker of pride at his deshi's tenacity. Then an even stranger thought crossed his mind, and he straightened up._ Wait a minute… then that means in his time I'm…_

"Shishou…?" Kenshin said tentatively, blocking some of his pain as he slowly took a few steps toward his shishou.

The swordsman looked up at his baka deshi with a strange expression in his eyes. "You used the Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki. I didn't realize you'd finished your training…"

The redhead simply nodded, confused at the peculiar look on Hiko's face. Then, it was as if all at once he understood, and a dull sort of horror settled in the pit of his stomach. _He thinks he's dead in my time. I can't let him think that. _He opened his mouth to speak, and then shut it again. But if Hiko had known that he would live through passing on the succession technique, everything could have gone differently. _Can I risk that? My life… Japan's fate… they rested on our thoughts and actions at that precise moment of training. It would be like saving Tomoe. Can I risk _everything _just to put his mind at ease? Which is more important? _It was a harder decision than he'd have once thought.

But it appeared that Kenshin would not have to make that decision after all. The moment of surprise was over, and Hiko was now looking back with his usual smug expression. "Either shut your mouth or say something. You look like a carp, opening and closing it like that." His teasing didn't quite reach his eyes. Clearly he was still trying to come to terms with this new information.

Kenshin didn't get a chance to respond. There was the sudden flare of ki as another Shinsengumi unit passed only a few streets away. After sending a fierce scowl at the baka he'd trained, Hiko stood. "Kuso!" the older man growled. "Let's get out of here before we have to deal with another unit. I don't feel like decimating the ranks of the Shinsengumi tonight just because you're too stupid to know when you shouldn't be fighting."

Kenshin's eyebrow twitched, his concern for Hiko dissipating. However, he said nothing and followed.

They moved in the opposite direction of the ki, distancing themselves as much from the bodies as they could. Kenshin was starting to have a hard time of it by the time his shishou finally ducked into an alleyway and stopped.

Hiko peered around the corner to see if they'd been followed. "I hate this running," he muttered. "But if you aren't supposed to be in this time, we can't risk killing anyone in case it changes something in the future. Look at the stupid situations you put us into, baka. Why did I ever bother training you? You're more trouble than you're worth."

Kenshin didn't answer, but apparently Hiko didn't care. The swords master just kept on talking. "What I don't understand, is why your wolf back there is still alive. Something weakened the blow, although I don't see how he could have blocked it. And even a sakabatou should have killed him…" He turned back to Kenshin, finally noticing that Kenshin was breathing hard, and clutching his right shoulder. "What's the matter with you?"

Kenshin just shook his head and looked away. "I'll be fine, that I will."

Hiko's eyes darkened, and he glared at his deshi as he stalked over. "Hold out your right arm."

Kenshin blinked at him. "What?"

"Do as I say, baka," he snapped.

The redhead's eyes widened, and he complied, painfully lifting the arm. It shook worse, and he was having a hard time getting it completely horizontal.

"Damn," Hiko swore. "You were already injured when you started that fight, weren't you? That's why the attack failed. You didn't have enough force behind it." He took hold of Kenshin's arm, surprising his deshi by actually handling the injury gently. Supporting it with one hand, he used the other to pull down the bloody shoulder of his gi to expose the bandages. He gently felt the wound, pressing here and there as though looking for something, occasionally moving the arm to see what kind of mobility he had. Kenshin flinched silently, but Hiko noticed, and slowly lowered Kenshin's arm. He then untied the bandages to get a good look at the wounds. This seemed to further irritate him. "You let this get infected, baka. Did you want to lose this arm?"

Kenshin looked away. "What was I supposed to do about it?"

"See a doctor, baka. What do you think you're supposed to do when you get injured?"

Kenshin glared at him. "That's impossible. I am not Himura Kenshin here. I'm no rurouni. I am hitokiri Battousai. Assuming I find a doctor who doesn't side with the Shogunate and kill me on the spot, I would be risking his life. What do you think the Shinsengumi would do to a doctor that helped me? They would kill him."

Hiko's glare was fierce this time, and it silenced the rurouni. "That wound could kill_ you_, Kenshin,"

He looked furious, and Kenshin suddenly got the peculiar impression that Hiko was not so much angry with him as he was afraid that his deshi really _was_ going to get himself killed. Kenshin stared at him in surprise. It was so easy sometimes to forget that this harsh man could actually care about people, especially about _him_.

"Get it checked," Hiko said gruffly. "All it takes is a little medicine. You can't convince me that the Choshu clan has no doctor aiding them, so if worst comes to worst, you can slip in back there long enough to get some help. You've given enough to that damned clan and their petty little fight. The least they can offer you is a doctor who is willing to put the same devotion into your welfare."

Kenshin pulled his gi back up. "I'll try, Shishou. That's the best I can promise."

Hiko watched the rurouni wince a little when the coarse material of his gi scraped against his open wound. "Don't just put the gi back on it, you baka. Wrap it up correctly." He scowled. "Just let go. I'll wrap it so it stops bleeding at least." He took some of the bloody bandages, and began tightly pulling them across his arm and shoulder. "How did you get this stupid, anyway? I know it isn't _my_ fault. I did a fine job teaching you. Apparently you never paid enough attention to what I said. Otherwise you wouldn't have wound up as a lost baka with a death wish." He tugged the bandage tight, causing Kenshin to gasp in pain as Hiko tied it off. "Stop squirming."

Kenshin bit back a retort. There was a long pause before the redhead finally said softly, "You know I don't have a death wish, Shishou. If I did, how could I have learned the succession technique?"

"Don't contradict me," the swordsman snapped. "That's another reason you never learn anything." But even as he was griping, his expression grew distant again, and after finally finishing with the bandages, he muttered, "About the succession technique… why don't you wear the mantle? It's your right as successor. Obviously _I_ won't need it anymore."

The rurouni lowered his eyes, searching for the best way to answer that. "I had no wish to take the position of Hiko Seijuro the 14th. I wish only to pass on the teachings, not the techniques." He looked up at his shishou. "I'm sorry."

The swordsman sent him a long, assessing look. "I see. I shouldn't be surprised. Hiten Mitsurugi will die with me, then." He sighed. "That is as it should be. Even now, it is becoming a thing of the past. I expected as much, anyway. The days of swords and honor have been dying a slow death. I suspect they will die before I do." He sent Kenshin a contemplative look. "Well, maybe they'll last a little longer than that. Until your death at least." He turned away, seeming a little tired. "I never planned on passing it on either."

Kenshin's eyes widened. "What? You weren't going to train anyone? But… then why did you take me as an apprentice?"

Hiko looked back, seeing the child, Shinta, in the wide-eyed man's face. Thinking back to that field of graves. And remembering the wonder he'd felt when he'd realized that this boy was just like Hiko had once been. That this child who should have been tainted by the horrors around him still seemed to be able to see life, even in death. Even with all of the hatred and evil and disease in the world, this boy had not been corrupted. And Hiko had felt a responsibility to that boy. Not so much to teach him swordsmanship, but instead to protect him long enough for that strong spirit to survive and be able to protect itself. Because that was one of the greatest things that Hiko had learned in his life. People aren't saved by swords. They're saved by compassion. And compassion had always been one of Kenshin's greatest strengths.

"I trained you," he finally said in a quiet voice that wasn't quite his own, "because you understood."

"Oro?"

Hiko shook his head, as though to clear his thoughts. "Never mind. It's better this way. No more nightmares of me getting stuck training your future son."

Kenshin shook his head, a small smile on his face. "I doubt that would have ever been a problem, Shishou."

The older man smirked. "I wouldn't be so sure." He paused for a moment, listening for footsteps. Trying to see if any strong ki was in the area… but all seemed clear. "Listen, Kenshin. Going to your own time can wait a few days. You're not in any shape to be wandering Kyoto at night for any reason. All you're going to do is get yourself killed. You need to get back to wherever you're staying."

"I'm with Katsura," Kenshin replied softly.

Hiko stared at him. "That was a stupid move, not that I'm surprised. Fine, go back to him. And you can tell him that if he sends you out on any more fights before that shoulder has healed, I'll personally visit him and show him what a _real_ master of Hiten Mitsurugi can do to him." Hiko smiled wickedly. "He'd do well to remember that his top hitokiri is only my baka deshi."

"Shishou," Kenshin said, overwhelmed. "He didn't…" He trailed off at a sharp look from Hiko and sighed. "I will go on no missions." He smiled gently. "You don't have to worry."

"I'm not worried," the tall man said, scowling. "Now, go back. Be careful. I'll watch your back until you're inside, so no detours. You got that? It's getting late, and I'm getting thirsty."

"Yes, Shishou."

"Good. Now get out of my face."

Kenshin bowed slightly to his shishou and began walking out of the alleyway. He stopped at the sound of Hiko's voice.

"Did you ever find that boy, baka?"

Kenshin glanced back at Hiko. "No," he replied tiredly.

"Any clues?"

"No."

Hiko nodded. "Then you aren't as observant as I'd thought."

"Oro?" Kenshin sent him a look of puzzlement. "Do you know something?"

"No more than you should, baka," the older man replied. "I just find it strange to find a child's footprints in the snow around the head of a dead man. And they were fresh."

"Sagara?"

Hiko nodded. "There were children in the Sekihou-tai, Kenshin. And your boy was suicidal, wasn't he?"

Kenshin paled, as a distant memory forced its way to the surface. A memory so old that he wasn't even sure if it was really a memory or just a dream.

_The boy looking at him thoughtfully. "I guess waiting one more night wouldn't hurt. Maybe the captain would want that."_

_The captain…_

"It was him," Kenshin whispered, starting to finally understand what had happened. He'd never even realized… How had he never realized? "I know who that boy was."

"Kenshin?"

The rurouni laughed shortly, darkly. "He's a close friend of mine. Or at least, he will be one day. Sagara Sanosuke." Kenshin met his shishou's eyes. "That boy was the same man I was on the bridge with when I came back here."

* * *

_1878_

Kaoru was standing on the bridge, just staring off into the hazy morning sky, and mentally kicking herself. _I can't believe I fell asleep in that old building. What if something happened to Kenshin while I was back there? I'll never forgive myself._

"You're troubled," came a male voice to her right. She glanced over to see Shinomori Aoshi approach her. The tall ex-okashira of the Oniwaban leaned against the rail beside her. Kaoru had woken up just after sunrise and had resumed her frantic search for the rurouni. She'd run into Aoshi and Misao on her way back to the Aoi-ya to find the others. After having explained the situation, and discovering that the others had already left on their own search party, Aoshi and Misao had gladly joined Kaoru to help look for their friend. Not that it seemed to be doing any good.

"You are worried about Battousai."

She looked up into the tall man's cold blue eyes. "Of course I am. You have no idea how many times Kenshin has been there for me. No matter how down I am, or how horrible things get, he has always been by my side ever since the first day I met him. He understands when I get angry, and won't hold it against me. In fact, for someone who could wipe out entire armies, he even takes my hits. And what do I do for him?"

"You spend the entire night searching for him," Misao said joining them. "That says something. It means you really care about him, and he'll know that. Himura's not stupid. He didn't live through everything he's gone through by being dumb and not understanding the way people think."

Tears welled up in Kaoru's eyes. "Then why did he leave me?"

Misao put a comforting hand on the other girl's shoulder. "He didn't."

Tear-filled blue eyes turned to Misao. "What?"

Misao had turned to face the water again. "Think about it Kaoru. Himura hasn't been himself lately. He's been paranoid and scared. Ever since that accident, he's been really different."

Kaoru shook her head. "I don't understand."

The ninja shrugged. "Well, I haven't known Himura as long as you have, but I traveled with him a long way when he first returned to Kyoto, so I've seen him when he's really struggling with himself. And that's kind of how it feels now. Like he's not sure who he is, and he's fighting the hitokiri inside again." She looked back at Kaoru. "That first time he left you to face Shishio… it sounds to me like he was leaving to protect you from what was happening both in Japan and in himself. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he's doing that again?"

Kaoru didn't answer, but Aoshi nodded. "Misao is right. People will do things that seem strange to others, hurtful, if they think it is in the best interest of those they care about." He leveled his gaze at Kaoru. "I know this, because I have done it myself… more than once. Battousai is a skilled fighter and an intelligent man. But most importantly, he cares about other people. He does nothing for himself. Misao is correct. He was not running from you. If he was running from anything at all, it was probably himself."

"Um, Kaoru," Misao said suddenly.

But they weren't listening.

Kaoru sighed. "I just worry about him so much. Sometimes he will be so careful with himself, patching up injuries. Letting Megumi-san look at him. But then there are times when he won't even let you know he's been hurt, or why, or how badly. He'll disappear for awhile, and an hour later he'll be back. And I'll find him hanging up laundry, his wounds bandaged, smiling as though nothing happened. I almost get the feeling that the only reason he takes care of himself at all is for our sakes, not his own."

"Aoshi-sama…" Misao cut in, but again, she was ignored.

Aoshi nodded at Kaoru. "I'm sure that's exactly what he's doing. He was a hitokiri, Kaoru. I'm not sure if you know exactly what that means."

Kaoru glared at him. "I don't care if he was a killer. That's a part of his past. It doesn't matter anymore. It's not him."

The tall man shook his head. "No. Past or not, it does matter. His past as a hitokiri is very much a part of him. It will always be a part of him. That is a choice he made, and he will always have to live with it. With the deaths he has caused. Being a hitokiri would have shaped him, Kaoru. You are only looking at the obvious parts. _Think_ about it. He was younger than you are when he first killed someone. And he killed for at least five years during Bakumatsu. He was known as a demon back then. Even in Edo we knew of that. He was spoken of in whispers, as though his very name would bring him out. But in reality, he was a child sent to murder. Grown men go mad with killing. It happens far more often than not. If Battousai managed to retain his sanity after five years of living with death, I have to wonder how."

"How?"

"How did he ignore the blood… the power? When you shut off your emotions during a battle, it is sometimes difficult to turn them back on." He looked down into the water. "Battousai wouldn't want you to see him like that, because it would hurt you. He cares about your welfare." Aoshi stared out over the water. "And _that_ is exactly what makes him the strongest."

"Hey, guys! I know that's a nice inspirational message and all, but I'm right here and you can stop ignoring me."

Kaoru turned and glared at the other girl. "Misao, this is an important conversation. I don't see what could be so important that you have to keep interrupting!"

Misao glared back, weasel versus raccoon. She pointed toward the opposite side of the river near the forest. Through clenched teeth, she replied, "I found Himura. He's with Sano."

Kaoru turned to look inthe direction Misao was pointing. As soon as she saw them, shemade ready to run, but Aoshi grabbed the back of her gi. "Patience," he said softly.

She shot an angry look at Aoshi. "What are you talking about? Let me go."

But Aoshi wasn't looking at her. He was staring in the direction of the redhead. "You almost ran into a battle."

* * *

Sano turned to where Battousai was looking in time to see Saito emerge from the trees. The wolf flicked the cigarette into the grass, and smirked. He closed the gap until he was only a few yards away. "Hello, Battousai." 

The redhead was so tense he seemed almost like an animal bristling before a fight. Already his right hand was reaching across his body, so that his katana would be easier to draw. He said nothing.

This didn't appear to disturb the policeman, who was now eyeing the boy critically. "How old are you, Battousai? Fifteen? Sixteen? I don't think you could be much older. The killer is still in your eyes." He smiled coldly. "And it's begging to be let out, isn't it?"

Sano's eyes widened. Saito already knew? But how? He glanced back at his friend.

Battousai had slipped into a battou-jutsu stance, clearly just waiting for Saito to end the chit-chat and attack. "Enough with the small talk, Saito. If you're here to fight me, let's just get it over with."

The wolf's amber eyes narrowed. "I thought you'd _never_ ask," he replied, drawing the katana. He tugged on the collar of his shirt, popping off the top two buttons to give him more mobility. Then he slid into the Gatotsu stance, running his gloved hand over the gleaming silver blade.

"Are you two crazy?" Sano exclaimed.

Battousai's eyes were narrowed, and there was a faintly amber light within their blue depths. The hitokiri was frighteningly near the surface, waiting to break free. His voice was cold and flat, sounding very much as he had when they'd first spoken at the river. "Get back, Sanosuke."

Sano clenched his fist, growling, "I'm not leaving you. If you're going to fight, then I'm going to help you."

Battousai didn't even look at him. "No. Just go back where it's safe. I can't protect both of us from him if I don't know where you are."

"You know exactly where I am, Himura, because I'm staying right here."

Still Battousai wouldn't look at him. If Sano hadn't known his friend so well, the youth would have been frightening. It wasn't just his voice or his eyes, but his entire demeanor had changed. He seemed older, stronger, and far more like a dangerous predator. "Sano," Battousai said sharply. "Get back by the bridge, now."

Saito snorted. "Yes, little boy. Go play somewhere else. The grown-ups are busy here."

Sano shot him a glare. "You shut up." He turned back to his friend. "You don't have to do this, Himura. You don't have to protect me. That's not why I'm your friend."

The redhead slowly turned his eyes to look at Sano. They softened a bit, the amber fading away into their depths. "I _know_ that Sagara. Protecting you is my choice. I may be just a hired sword… but I _will _protect those I care about." His expression was troubled for a moment. "Please Sanosuke. This fight won't be long. Wait for me elsewhere. I don't want you hurt." He smiled faintly, easing some of Sano's worries.

The fighter finally backed off, but only after shooting a glare at Saito, and promising his friend that he wouldn't go far, and would be nearby if Battousai needed him.

The youth turned back to his opponent, not surprised to see the former Shinsengumi leader still in stance, patiently waiting. The redhead slipped back into a fighting position, looking carefully at the man before him. This was eerie. His hair was short, his clothing… well, that was no surprise. The Shinsengumi had always been considered something of a police force within Kyoto. But that wasn't really what bothered him. Unlike Hiko, Saito had changed, and even though they were enemies, the boy wasn't sure he liked that. This Saito was clearly older, some strong lines in his face now, a slightly more hoarse quality to his voice, although that may not have been the result of time as much as the cigarettes.

He didn't dwell on it further. Clearly Saito wasn't worrying about such things, the predatory gleam in his eyes announcing his annoyance at waiting. He was ready for this fight to begin.

Battousai hardened his expression, shutting off all of his accessible emotions. This was nothing more than a series of movements and predictions to him. It meant nothing now. Again a faint flicker of amber glowed inside of his frigid blue eyes. His nod was imperceptible, but Saito had been waiting for it, and returned it. His lips curled up into a cold smile. "Have at you."

And it was a blur of movement. Neither of them was exactly sure who had drawn first, the thoughts had been almost simultaneous in their minds. _Just do it_. And they had. The first charge had resulted in nothing. Battousai had easily managed to turn and dodge Saito's Gatotsu, a move he'd seen so often in the past. And Saito had blocked enough of the youth's draw before attacking, to spare himself. But even after that move, they kept in motion for a moment longer, Battousai skipped the typical defensive moves to go behind his opponent and swing down in a modified Hiten Mitsurugi attack. Saito defended, blocking the attack, and lunging with his blade, modified his own into a side slash that would have hit its mark if Battousai hadn't ducked and pulled back.

The second attack was smoother, now that they had both been able to reevaluate their opponents moves. The redhead was airborne, coming down with a Ryu Tsui Sen, which Saito was forced to dodge instead of block. But the movement of his turn only gave him more force behind his next blow. Battousai blocked with his blade.

The men were inches from each other, their katanas crossed between their faces. Amber glaring into amber. The two men looking more alive in this moment than either of them had felt in awhile. They were at stalemate, and realized it at the same time, leaping backwards and falling into position once more.

Saito's eyes gleamed. "This is more like it, Battousai," he said softly. "You're putting everything into it this time."

Battousai didn't change expression. _What was he talking about? Was this some sort of game to him?_ "What is this about, Saito?" he asked. "From what I've heard of Meiji, this is no longer necessary." He eyed the man's police uniform again. "And judging from your clothes, isn't your job to stop things like this?"

The wolf was unperturbed. "It _will_ stop when one of us wins. We just have a fight to finish." He fell into one of his modified Gatotsu positions. Battousai had seen this one before. It was easily blocked by Hiten Mitsurugi. Why would Saito intentionally use an attack that he knew his adversary could block?

Kenshin was dimly aware of movement behind him. More people had joined Sano. _Wonderful. An audience. _He ignored them, sheathing his blade, and turning his body. "So, we're still at a stalemate is what you're saying," he replied. "Even now, neither wins. Neither loses. What are we fighting for, then? Your pride?"

Saito's eyes darkened. "_I_ am not the one who has changed, Battousai. Aku soku zan. I am as much a wolf of Mibu now as ever. But you... Do you even understand what you've become? It's disgusting, a hitokiri who won't kill. A rurouni who protects the weak, without showing his true strength."

Battousai tensed, and his voice was low when he responded. "One who protects the weak?" His gleaming eyes stared into the older man's. "You don't know me as well as you think, Saito Hajime. Let's just finish this."

This time the first move was clearly Saito's. The two circled, dodging and thrusting in an all out attack. Twice, Battousai was forced to draw up his sheath to block some lower blows. Once Saito barely managed to dodge, and wound up with a deep wound in his side.

They circled again, spilling more blood. Battousai had a few shallow cuts, but it was becoming evident that he wasn't going to lose this battle.

When they drew back this time, however, Saito's stance had changed once again. This time the blade was high in the air in a position that the boy had never seen.

_What's he doing? What does he think he can hit that way? _Battousai eyed the blade, trying to determine how to adjust his own attack to whatever the wolf could pull out of that position. He brushed some blood from his forehead to keep it from dripping into his eyes. Then he was in position.

Again there was movement out of the corner of his eye, but this time, as Saito bore down, Battousai felt another strong ki coming at him from behind.

And she was there out of nowhere. Battousai didn't even hear what Kaoru had shouted, but she looked angry, protectively throwing herself in front of the boy, her useless wooden sword drawn and ready. _What the hell was she doing? _

"Stop!" That's what she was shouting, and there were tears in her eyes. "Both of you, stop it!"

The wolf was too close to slow, even if he'd have been the type to do so.

Battousai grabbed her gi and threw out of the way just before Saito's blade cut into his shoulder. The youth clutched his wound in shock. He looked up at the Shinsengumi leader, but something was wrong with his vision, and instead of seeing Saito, he saw a huge man with gray hair. One of the Shogunate. And, even as his vision was blurring, he could see her falling in front of him. Tomoe. So he hadn't pushed her out of the way in time. He knew he'd opened his mouth. Knew he'd screamed something, but none of that mattered as he watched her lifeless body fall into the snow before him. He'd killed her.

Battousai dropped to his knees, unable to even touch her. "Don't die," he whispered, his wide blue eyes seeing nothing as his mask finally shattered. Cold sweat poured down his body as he reached out his hand to her. "Please." His voice was hoarse. "Please, don't die. Not now. Not again. Don't…" He'd stopped breathing. It was as though the shock of her jumping into his path again had shut him down completely. Everything was fading to black.

_Good, _he thought. _I deserve this death. If I can't even protect you, what reason do I have to live?_

The last sensation he was aware of was the smell of white plums, drowned out by the scent of blood.

Several crimson drops stained the crystalline snow. Another droplet fell.

The scar on his cheek was bleeding.

* * *

_Author's Note: Hello! I'm so sorry for the long wait on this update. I hope you're pleased with how it turned out. The chapter itself was a lot harder to write than I'd expected. I had a few surprises come up that changed the initial train of events, and at home, my roommate (one of my best friends) is moving out. The chapter was put on hold, so she and I could spend time together before she leaves. Also, I'm sorry I wasn't able to respond well to reviewers last chapter. Things have been difficult lately. But I think it will be better soon. Anyway, thanks for your patience!_

_Dragonspirit4215: Of course I'm still using dewa mata. My Japanese is limited and heaven forbid I make people think I'm going on hiatus for a long time by using "sayonara" again! Thanks for the nice review!_

_sRose: Yes, this story takes place not long after the Kyoto arc, but before Jinchuu (which I haven't read)… so yes, Shishio is a very disturbing thing for Kenshin to have pondered. (laughs)_

_Ms. Zeal: I'm glad you liked the humor, and about such a battle... I agree. Hmmm…_

_Yamma: Perhaps some BK romance, but as I've mentioned before, as strange as it sounds, I don't control this story as much as I like to think. The way I write is by trying to get into the character's heads and put them into a situation. The story's end result then has to be based on their natural reactions to things. So if that romance turns out to be natural, perhaps we'll see some…_

_FFchick: Yay! Sake. Good choice for a reward. (laughs)_

_Sueb262: A Shishio background story… (contemplates) I have a lot on the back burner right now… but I'll keep the idea in mind. Thanks!_

_WhiteRabbit5: Sam is a good name for the analogy. (laughs) Thanks. Hehehe…_

_Frog squisher: (blinks) Scary. You know, if you chop off my head, I can't update. Probably not a good idea. (blinks again) What does "kioshi ai itsumo" mean?_

_BakaBokken: Thanks for the great review! And I really do like you IY story. It's good. Please do update it soon. (I mean that from the bottom of my heart!)_

_JMJV: Thanks for the warning. I usually try hard to edit well, but when I'm rushed, I screw up. If you ever see typos, please let me know where they are if you can. It makes it so much easier for me to fix! Thank you!_

_WolfDaughter: (blushes) Yes, I meant "centrifugal."It's fixed. I appreciate you finding that! And thanks for the great review!_

_To all other reviewers: I'm pleased to see that the pottery analogy went over so well. Very pleased, actually. Thank you so much for reading and for all of your wonderful reviews!_

_Dewa mata!_


	20. Degrees of Pain

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 20: Degrees of Pain**_

_1878_

There had been a moment of silence, as though the world had gone still when Kaoru was thrown to the ground. It wasn't until the redhead had shouted, dropping to his knees, that life had awoken once again. As though the agony in his voice had somehow reminded the world that it needed to live, if only watch him crumble.

It had all happened so quickly. One moment the wolf had been bearing down on Battousai, Kaoru blocking the path. The next, she lay on the ground several feet away, and everything had changed. Saito's blade was still drawn, blood staining the silver where it had pierced the youth's shoulder. He was breathing harshly, holding his side, staring at the boy before him. Making no move to strike again.

Battousai knelt, his head dropped, crimson hair spilling onto his gi. His blade lay on the ground nearby. His shoulders had slumped as though everything had gone out of him. As though he had screamed out his life with the name, "Tomoe."

"Battousai…" Saito's voice was harsh. And still he made no move to help or harm the boy, instead looking critically at the form before him. Seeing the blank stare, and then, to his surprise, seeing tears mixing with the blood on the hitokiri's face. There was something far more terrifying about this shattered boy than anything Saito had faced before.

It had all taken only a moment, but it could have been eternity before Kaoru was on her feet again and threw herself between the two men. She dropped to her knees in front of Battousai. "Kenshin?" She shook him. "Kenshin!" He didn't even look at her. His eyes were unfocused. He was barely breathing. "Kenshin, please!" she sobbed, shaking him again, hoping that it would snap him out of it.

His eyes closed, and he collapsed into her arms. She could feel him trembling. It was the only reason she knew he was still alive, his breathing was that shallow.

Other people were around her. She distinctly heard Misao screaming something at Saito. Knew that Aoshi had picked up Kenshin's sword and had sheathed it. And she saw Sano kneel beside her, gently pulling the redhead from her grasp.

"We need to get him to the Aoi-ya. Get him to Megumi," Sano had said, when she'd at first refused to let go.

Kaoru was aware enough to notice how carefully he was handling his unconscious friend. To notice how mature the fighter was acting for a change. Not screaming at Saito or starting a fight. Just picking up his friend, so Kenshin could be taken to the doctor. "Sano."

Sano stood, carrying Battousai, and drawing Kaoru up with him. He shot a frigid look at the wolf, and finally growled, "You'd better hope he recovers. You'd better hope to _god_ he recovers. Or I'll hunt you down…"

"And what?" Saito said, but something in his amber eyes looked troubled. "Kill me?"

Sano glared. "Kill you or die trying." His voice was low and dark. He turned away and began walking toward the city. His friends followed in a solemn procession.

The clearing had fallen silent again except for the mournful sound of a single bird singing in the trees. The wolf stood alone, watching them retreat. "Battousai…" His voice was soft. His eyes unreadable.

* * *

When Sano and the others had arrived at the Aoi-ya with Battousai, they had found that the Oniwaban-shu, Yahiko and Megumi had all returned. There was a moment of chaos, as Kaoru quietly tried to explain what had happened to Megumi while Misao told everyone else. Yahiko stared in wide-eyed horror at the redhead's nearly lifeless form. Sano had silently brought Battousai into Kenshin's room, followed by Aoshi with the sword. They'd remained with the unconscious youth until Megumi had arrived and ushered them out. 

It was an hour before Megumi stepped out of Kenshin's room. Sano leapt to his feet when the lady doctor entered the area where they'd been waiting. "How is he?"

Megumi looked tired and worried, which only tightened the knots in Sano's gut. "He's alive. His shoulder wound is deep, and probably will cause him some trouble for awhile, but I've seen him worse."

Misao slumped back against the wall in relief.

But Kaoru shook her head, "Megumi-san, if he's alright, then why do you still look so worried?" The poor girl was wringing her hands. If Sano hadn't been so scared himself, he'd have tried to comfort her.

Megumi sent them all a tired look, but her eyes lingered on Sano when she spoke. "It isn't his body I'm worried about. I—" Her brow furrowed. "He was awake for awhile, and was talking. Most of it wasn't coherent… he wasn't even looking at me… but from what I can understand, he thinks he killed someone." She sighed. "With anyone else, I wouldn't concern myself, but with Ken-san… Something like that could break him. What exactly happened?"

Aoshi's expression was unreadable. "I'm not certain that any of _us_ could even answer that."

Sano's eyes drifted to Kaoru who had gone pale. "Jou-chan?"

"Can we see him, Megumi-san?" the girl whispered. "I need to see him."

Megumi hesitated a moment, but after looking at everyone's worried expressions, she relented. "Fine. But be quiet. He's sleeping. And for now, that's best for him."

She moved out of the way, letting them in.

Misao and Kaoru were immediately at his side, while Aoshi stood a distance away, watching silently.

Sano stood just inside the doorway, unable to take another step. His eyes were locked on his friend. Battousai lay as still as death on the futon. His eyes were closed. His face ashen, the bright red of his loose hair making his skin appear even paler. Megumi had bandaged his cheek, but the unexplainable blood from his scar was already soaking through, leaving a cross-shaped crimson stain on the white material. Battousai's breathing was so shallow that for a moment, Sano was afraid he'd died while they'd been speaking in the other room. But the youth grimaced just then and murmured something softly. Sano sighed in relief. It wasn't until then that he realized that he'd been holding his breath.

Yahiko stood next to Sanosuke, looking worried. Quietly, he said, "He has Kenshin's scar…" The boy looked up at Sano. "He isn't Kenshin. He can't be… Why does he have Kenshin's scar?"

Sano didn't answer, not trusting himself to speak. This is what he'd been afraid of since he'd first gotten to know Battousai.

The redhead spoke again in his sleep, his voice distressed.

Misao and Kaoru looked up in alarm. Misao's eyes were wide. "'I killed her…' That's what he said." She turned her gaze to Kaoru. "Does he think you didn't make it, then?"

Kaoru was on the verge of tears. "I should never have gotten in the way. But Saito… I thought Saito was going to kill _him_. And I couldn't stand the thought of Kenshin…" She trailed off as words failed her. "It's my fault this happened!"

Misao hugged her. "It isn't anyone's fault. How could you have known this would happen? I'd have done the same thing for Aoshi-sama! You can't blame yourself."

Sano tore his gaze away from the helpless scene before him to look at Aoshi. The man still gazed silently at Battousai, as though trying to figure something out.

Megumi sighed. "I know you're all concerned," she said in a low voice, "but we can't do anything more for Ken-san until he wakes up. He'll be better off right now if everyone isn't in here." She sent them all a sharp look. "Come on. Let him rest."

Slowly the room emptied as they rejoined the rest of the Oniwaban-shu, who had waited respectfully outside of the room.

Misao shook her head, looking upset. "Himura really thinks Kaoru is dead, doesn't he?"

Everyone fell silent when she spoke, lost in their own troubled thoughts.

Finally Aoshi said softly, "No. I don't believe that he does."

"_What?_" Misao exclaimed. "Aoshi-sama, didn't you hear what he said?"

"He said, 'I killed her,'" Aoshi responded. "He never said who he killed." His serious gaze swept over the silent room. "He was a hitokiri. He's killed a number of people. This has nothing to do with Kaoru. Her actions may have triggered this, but right now, I'm sure she's the farthest thing from his mind."

Yahiko glared at the ex-okashira. "What are you? Some kind of mind reader or something?"

"I don't need to be. If any of you would pay attention, you'd notice that Battousai said a lot more than that in his sleep."

Megumi glared at Aoshi, but he seemed undisturbed. "Of course we've noticed, but most of what he said wasn't even coherent. He was just rambling."

"White plums, blood, 'I killed her.' He said these things a few times while we were in there. And he repeated the name 'Tomoe.' The same name he shouted when he fell. This isn't idle rambling." Aoshi leveled his cold gaze on Megumi. "And I believe this Tomoe is the one he is afraid he killed, not Kaoru."

"Who is Tomoe?" Kaoru whispered.

"Maybe she was an old girlfriend—" Yahiko wasn't given a chance to finish before Sano cracked him upside the head.

"Shut up, baka!"

Yahiko glared at him. "What was that for?" he shouted.

"It's called tact, Yahiko. Try it sometime."

But Kaoru wasn't even listening to them. "Kenshin's never mentioned any Tomoe before," she said, thoughtfully.

"Yes he has," Sano replied suddenly. He looked uncomfortable as all eyes turned to him. "Remember? When I first brought him back here, and he had that high fever. He called _you_ Tomoe, Kaoru…"

Before Kaoru could answer, there was a loud knock on the door, and Okina silently went to answer it.

"If Kenshin mistook Kaoru for this Tomoe person, maybe Kaoru _did_ trigger… I don't know… a memory or something…" Sano said thoughtfully.

"Of someone he killed?" Kaoru asked, looking pale.

"Of someone from his past, at least. Someone from Bakumatsu." Aoshi had been watching the conversation thoughtfully. "How exactly did this happen, if I might ask?"

"That's a stupid question! You were there! You saw it," Yahiko muttered, still rubbing his head where Sano had hit him.

The ninja shook his head. "I don't mean his injuries. How did Battousai wind up _here_?" He looked around, receiving only blank stares. Sano wouldn't make eye contact. "Do none of you honestly realize…? How could you not notice?"

"Of course I've noticed," Megumi finally snapped, taking Sano by surprise. "I'm his doctor. I've seen the differences, but he obviously hasn't been in any state to talk about it yet. I won't push him. What good would that do?"

Aoshi shook his head. "It is dangerous to have him here."

"He's not dangerous, Aoshi!" Sano snapped.

The ninja looked Sanosuke in the eye. "I meant that this place is dangerous for Battousai."

Kaoru sent them each a frightened look. "Noticed what? What's dangerous? Aoshi… Megumi-san... Is something else wrong with Kenshin?"

The doctor glared harshly at Kaoru. "You know as well as I do. I won't believe that you can't see it. You just don't want to. If you won't admit it, that's your problem. Not mine, and not Ken-san's."

"Megumi-san—!"

But Megumi was saved from having to respond when Okina reappeared in the room looking troubled.

"What is it, Gramps?" Misao asked, noting his peculiar expression.

"Saito is here," the old man said softly.

"_What!_" Misao exclaimed, her own face mirroring the surprised looks of the others. "What's _he_ doing here? He can't expect to fight Himura _again_, can he?"

"Well, he's not going to see Ken-san," Megumi announced before the old man could speak. "That wolf will have to get by me first."

"And me," Kaoru said, pulling out her bokken.

Yahiko was right behind her with his shinai. "Right."

"What does that asshole want, now?" Sano growled, making a fist.

Okina turned his steady gaze to the fighter. "You."

Sanosuke's fist dropped. "_What?_"

The old man shrugged. "He isn't here for Himura-dono. He specifically asked to speak with you, Sanosuke."

* * *

_1865_

"This will hurt." The doctor tried handing Kenshin something to bite down on so he could block some of the pain, and muffle any screaming.

The redhead declined, hardly looking at him. He'd already refused anything to numb the pain. Why pretend that biting on something would help? Anyway, this wasn't pain. Not really. True pain came from the heart, and there was no painkiller for that.

That sort of pain came from killing the one you loved.

Or leaving her behind.

He thought back to his conversation with Hiko about the boy on the bridge…

True pain could even come from not recognizing a hurting friend who was in front of your face.

It didn't come from a wound to the shoulder.

The doctor began working on the wound, removing the badly damaged skin, and thoroughly clearing the open gash of any further infection.

Kenshin flinched a little. This came close to true pain, though.

He had been back at the Kohagi Inn for a few hours now. Hiko had taken him back, issuing a final threat of bodily harm if Kenshin tried to fight again before seeing a doctor. Only when Kenshin was safe inside, had he felt Hiko's ki retreat. Of course, at this point Okami had begun yelling at him for having sneaked out in his condition. A few of the men had curiously slipped out of their rooms only to find hitokiri Battousai being scolded by Okami. Even Katsura had appeared, quickly ushering his men back into their rooms, and rescuing a mildly embarrassed Kenshin from the enraged woman.

Then the commander had seen the full extent of Kenshin's injuries for the first time, and a doctor had been sent for, whether or not the redhead had wanted one.

Kenshin gritted his teeth against the pain again as more damaged skin was removed. Clearly the injury was worse than he'd thought. Perhaps Hiko and the others were right. A doctor may have been a good idea. But even so, that didn't mean that Kenshin had to like it.

The doctor finally seemed to have finished removing the damaged skin, and was now putting something even more painful on the open wound, which was apparently supposed to help somehow. It took all of Kenshin's willpower to keep a straight face. He needed to think of something else. Needed to distract himself.

His thoughts turned back to Sanosuke._ Are you my link, Sano? Is it as Shishou said? Are you my link home? _Worry creased his brow, making him look older… more pained. Did that mean that Sanosuke had to be with Battousai for them to switch back? Kenshin wasn't sure if he liked that idea. For some reason, the thought of Sano and Battousai in the same room together seemed like trouble.

"Are you alright, Battousai-san?" the doctor asked nervously.

Kenshin could feel the fear in the man's ki. Clearly he would have been quite happy to be treating just about anyone other than hitokiri Battousai right now.

"I'm fine," Kenshin said softly, trying to ease the doctor's worry. "Please continue."

"Right." And the agony commenced once again.

It seemed to take the doctor an eternity to work on the ex-hitokiri. Kenshin strongly suspected that the job would have been over with quicker if he'd been anyone else. But no doctor would risk doing a poor job on the demon of the Ishin-shishi. It was almost dawn by the time an exhausted and pained Kenshin entered his room, discouraged by such a fruitless night.

What good did it do to know who the boy was if Kenshin couldn't even find him? They may be friends, but Kenshin knew only the portions of Sano's past that the fighter had shared with him. Clearly the suicide attempt hadn't been one of those moments. As far as Kenshin knew, the boy could be halfway to Tokyo by now.

Kenshin tossed the torn blue gi down beside the futon, too tired to worry about folding it. Too tired to honestly even worry about the futon. He sat by the wall, resting against the kanji and closing his eyes. Sleep would bring more nightmares tonight, of that he had no doubt, but he would be useless tomorrow if he didn't at least _try_ to rest now.

He clutched his sakabatou, pressed his back against Kaoru's name, and hoped that this could somehow protect him from the demons within his mind.

When he finally fell asleep, it was deep and dreamless.

* * *

_Author's Note: (Cringes) Oro! I know this chapter took a ridiculously long time to update. Hours got upped at work, so it's been harder to find time to work on stories that require a great deal of thought (aka this one and "Heir to Slytherin")… But update, I have (yes, I've recently watched Star Wars, and yes, I have Yoda on the brain…). Anyway, I have Thursday off from work, so the plan is to get the next chapter well underway then. Hopefully no more massive delays on this story at least!_

_Onto the reviewers!_

_Lily of the Shadow: The grey-haired Shogunate was not meant to be Enishi. It was meant to be that huge guy Battousai faced when trying to reclaim Tomoe at the end of _Trust and Betrayal

_Dragonspirit4215: A lot of people seem concerned about why Kenshin can't remember being in Meiji, but Hiko can remember the switch. All I can say is… there is a reason._

_Kori hime: How many chapters left? I'm not sure. The story basically just comes to me… but roughly… probably more than five and less than ten…_

_Mukyuu Tenshi: Kaoru does not know about Tomoe._

_Sueb262: Hmmm… I don't think of Hiko as being particularly "time-continuum saavy," but he strikes me as a character who deeply thinks about the consequences of all actions (look at how he predicts Kenshin's fall when the boy tries to leave him!), so I could see him realizing that changing things in the past would HAVE to have consequences in the future._

_WolfDaughter: Happy belated birthday!_

_RiddleStar: Sorry to throw you off with the long updates. Sometimes it's just hard to rearrange the real world for my writing schedule. (laughs) Trust me, if I could… I'd do it!_

_Kettricken: (laughs) Sorry! I'll fix "Gatotsu" asap!_

_FoboldFKY: Thanks for showing me what the kanji looks like. (shakes head) I'd actually already changed the lines from "characters" to "kanji" in my original file, but I guess I forgot to upload the changes. Thanks for telling me. I'll do that asap!_

_Gizmo: "Amethyst and Amber" will wait until "Out of Time" is complete. But here is your update for this story at least!_

_To all other reviewers: As always, I'd love to reply to each and every one of you, but there are so many reviews, I can't. I'm sorry. But please know that I read and appreciate every single one of your reviews!_

_Thanks again for reading!_

_Dewa mata!_


	21. Observations

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 21: Observations**_

_1865_

Kenshin awoke around midday to a throbbing in his shoulder. He'd slept late, and had a sneaking suspicion that the tea Okami had given him last night had contained something to cause that. The rurouni wasn't sure if he should be grateful or annoyed. He stood and tried moving his shoulder.

It hurt. Badly.

But already Kenshin could feel the difference. His shoulder wasn't quite as weak. His arm was a bit steadier. This was a healing pain. If he had still been the impetuous youth that he once had been, this would have been enough to go out on a mission.

But he was older now, and not quite so foolish. He had to try and find a way home tonight, but he needed to avoid a fight this time. He'd gotten lucky while facing Harada. A repeat of last night's events would guarantee that he would never see Tokyo again.

He walked to where he'd dropped the gi last night, and found that Okami or one of her girls must have visited while he'd been sleeping. A fresh gi awaited him. The old one had mysteriously disappeared. Then a new concern distracted him as his stomach grumbled, and he realized that he hadn't eaten since the previous morning. He turned away from the new gi for now, looking around. Near the door stood a tray laden with tea and rice. Kenshin walked over eyeing the tea with suspicion. He wouldn't put it past Okami to have added something to this as well just to make sure he stayed put for another day. And Katsura would probably have okayed it, especially now that he'd seen Kenshin's injuries.

The rurouni sighed. No tea, then. But the rice appeared safe enough.

He didn't notice the note until he bent to pick up the bowl. A simple paper on the floor by his door. Kenshin winced slightly, hoping it hadn't come from Nozomi. Now was not the time for her to become bold.

He turned the paper over, immediately recognizing the bold ink strokes. Not Nozomi.

Ushiro.

Kenshin's lavender eyes widened in surprise as he read.

_Battousai-san,  
I've been thinking about what you said yesterday. About whether you are a murderer or a swordsman. And you're right. Words won't change the truth, as it is, or as you see it.  
How about numbers, then?  
167: The number of men whose lives you've saved.  
Over 700: The number of family members who owe you the lives of their loved ones.  
54: The number of times you have personally saved me.  
I have no way of knowing how many men you have killed. None of us do. But numbers don't lie, even if words do. No mere murderer would have saved so many in so short a period of time. There is your truth, swordsman Battousai-san._

_Ryu_

Kenshin simply stared at the note, unable to immediately comprehend what it meant. "Ushiro," he whispered, surprised. Had he actually gone around gathering these numbers since yesterday? Kenshin smiled faintly. Knowing Ushiro, he probably had. And Kenshin could imagine the irritation of the men he'd awoken to do so.

The redhead finally tore his gaze away from the paper, and set it on the tray. He would need to talk with Ushiro. To thank him before he left. If he didn't do it now, he would never get another chance. Because Ushiro would not live to see the eleventh year of Meiji…

There was a sudden rap at his door, forcing Kenshin to push these darker thoughts aside for the time being. "Yes?" he asked, sliding the door open.

Nozomi stood in the hall. She stared at him a moment, her face taking on a pink hue. Clearly the words she had meant to say were gone from her mind.

At first Kenshin didn't understand what was wrong, until he realized that his gi was still sitting on the floor in his room, and the blushing girl was clearly trying to look at him without being obvious. He suddenly wished he'd finished dressing.

"Nozomi-dono?" he asked softly, trying to draw her eyes back up to his face. "Was there something you needed?"

She blushed more furiously, turning her gaze from his chest to the floor. Not exactly what he'd been going for, but still it was an improvement. "B-Battousai-san," she stuttered. "Forgive me for waking you, but I was sent to get you."

"Oro?"

The strange, ridiculous word slipping from Battousai's mouth finally caused her head to snap up. She looked him in the eye. "I…Katsura-san has requested your presence. He asked me to take you there."

"Take me?"

"Yes," she said softly, blushing again. "I'm not to let you wander off, he said."

Kenshin smiled faintly. "I see. Fine, then. I'll just be a moment, that I will. Please wait here, Nozomi-dono."

She nodded silently as he went back into his room. Quickly, he slipped on his gi and sakabatou, trying to make himself as presentable as possible, without forcing the poor girl to wait long. He then tied his hair back, and stepped out of the room, sending a last, longing look at the rice before firmly sliding the door shut behind him. Breakfast was going to have to wait. He sighed and forced a smile. "I'm ready, Nozomi-dono."

"Right." She nodded and they began walking, she a few steps behind him.

Kenshin chose to believe that the reason she remained behind was to be sure he didn't "wander off."

They quickly made their way through the inn, several of the men sending amused looks in their direction. A few women even smiling secretively when they saw him and Nozomi together. Kenshin sighed. Had he been the only one who _hadn't_ noticed Nozomi's interest in him?

Thankfully, Katsura's meeting room was soon before them. Kenshin stopped in front of the door and turned back to the girl, smiling at her. "Thank you, Nozomi-dono," he said gently, expecting her to bow as usual and retreat.

But the girl didn't, instead she looked a bit uncomfortable. "B-Battousai-san?" she asked softly, looking him in the eye again. "I heard rumor that you were injured last night." Again that faint flush tinted her cheeks.

Kenshin only nodded, uncertain as to where this was leading.

"Please be careful, Battousai-san. I… I know it is war, and lives are lost, but… I don't want your life to be one of those."

"Nozomi-dono…"

But the girl shook her head. "No, Battousai-san. I mean it. I'm not the only one. We were all very worried when we heard. You've never needed the doctor before. Please… just be careful, Battousai-san." She looked so earnest. So concerned.

Kenshin smiled at her kindly. "Nozomi-dono, I have no intention of dying here, that I do not. Please, don't worry."

The girl nodded and bowed, looking more at ease. "I will leave now, Battousai-san. Katsura-san is waiting." She turned and fled.

Kenshin watched her until she turned the corner. _They were worried? Just because of a wound?_ He didn't know what to think. He'd never realized…

Shaking his head, he turned back to the door. He would concern himself with these new developments later. For now, he had business to take care of.

* * *

The noise and confusion in the outer halls had been going on for almost an hour now. It was starting to get a little irritating. Saito glared into his bowl of soba and continued eating, trying to ignore the sounds outside of his room. Of course he was curious. He'd heard snippets of conversations. Something about Harada almost getting himself killed. Or maybe he _had_ gotten himself killed. Saito hadn't quite caught all of it. Either way, the man obviously hadn't listened to him, and probably was struck with Ryu Tsui Sen. 

Saito scowled at his closed door. The sounds were starting to quiet down, which was a relief of sorts. It meant that Saito didn't have to wait much longer before he left his room and checked things out himself. Without having to deal with a nervous unit whispering about the "demon." And without Hijikata breathing down his neck, pointing out that only the _real _Battousai could have inflicted injuries on Harada. Saito snorted. Hell, Saito himself could be drunk _and_ unarmed and _still_ inflict injuries on that baka. Harada was a good fighter who would be a _better_ fighter if he'd stop being so damn cocky, and shut up once in awhile during the fight. It didn't take Battousai to defeat him.

But they'd blame Battousai. Which was why he was waiting. So he could take a look at Harada, and decide for himself.

He was through his soba and almost all of his sake when the noise finally died down, and he heard the doctor pass his room. The tall wolf set his cup down and stood, striding to the door and sliding it open. He stepped out of his room and turned down the hall, swiftly making his way to Harada's room. He knocked twice, before sliding the door open. The tenth unit leader wasn't there.

Okita turned the corner, and stopped when he noticed the third unit leader standing in front of Harada's door. "Saito-san?"

The tall man turned to look at him. "Where is Harada?"

Okita's eyes widened. "Didn't you hear?"

Saito's expression darkened. "I don't want to _hear._ I want to see for myself. Where is he?"

The younger man smiled and shrugged, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. The calculating swordsman was shining through, again. Something wasn't right with all of this. And even Okita was willing to admit it now. "He's still in the meeting room. That's where they took him when he was brought in, and the doctor didn't think it was a good idea to move him right away."

Saito snorted in reply and began walking toward the meeting room. "Did you see his injuries?"

Okita raised an eyebrow. "Of course. If his attacker, as you believe, _wasn't _Battousai-san, then Harada's injuries would be different than what we usually see. I wanted to know."

"And…?"

Okita shrugged. "And… as you said, I think you'd better see for yourself." He stopped in front of the room, sliding the door open and entering.

Saito followed.

Harada lay spread out in the center of the room. His torso was heavily bandaged, and medical supplies lay around him.

Okita knelt beside the man, motioning Saito the join him. "Look," he said, pointing to the upper shoulder, which wasn't perfectly bandaged. "Do you see this? Where the skin is bruised and forced in? Well, that mark crosses his entire chest." Okita traced the line of the wound lightly with his finger. "The bruising is worse toward the middle of the injury."

Saito's expression darkened, his eyes tracing the wound that Okita had pointed out. "Then it was a battou-jutsu move after all. But Harada is still alive…"

Okita sent the older man a strange look. "Yes. He's alive. That's the odd thing. There was almost no blood. This _had_ to have been made by a sword, but it barely broke the skin."

"Sakabatou…"

"Saito-san?"

Saito shook his head. "That man I fought used a sakabatou, not an ordinary katana. With the blade on the reverse side, he could have managed this. But this was clearly an attack meant to kill. With that much force…" His amber eyes flashed angrily. "I should have finished him off earlier. _Aku soku zan._ I wasn't sure then… but Battousai or not, he _must_ be allied with Choshu. He knows Battousai's moves, and has used a deadly attack against us."

Okita coughed lightly, standing. "You needed _proof_ that he was Choshu? The fact that he interrupted our last fight wasn't enough?"

"His ki was off. He didn't want to kill." Saito shook his head. "He didn't seem to want to fight. I wasn't sure… But now… I will need to speak with Kondo-san or Hijikata-san."

"Why?"

"With Harada down, they will need someone to eliminate Battousai if the anti-assassin is to get a clear shot at hitokiri Shishio." He stood, looking down at Harada's still form. "And I need to know for sure who that man is once and for all."

* * *

_1878_

Sano stared at Okina for a long moment, before shaking his head and asking, "He wants to talk with _me_? What the hell would Saito want with me?"

The old man's expression didn't change. "He wouldn't say, but he was quite adamant about it. Will you see him, or do I send him away?"

Sano scowled. "Oh, I'll talk to him all right. I have a few things to say to that guy, and not all of them are gonna be with _words_."

"Don't do anything stupid, rooster head," Megumi snapped. "I don't feel like treating _you_ again, too. We all know that in an all out fight between you two, Saito would probably win."

The fighter scowled at her, a vein throbbing in his head. "Shut up!" he snapped.

Megumi looked thoughtful, tapping her finger to her lips. "Then again, if it came down to a battle of wits, you'd definitely lose, so maybe a fistfight _would_ be better for you…"

"Alright, already," he growled through clenched teeth. "I get the point. Man, why do I put up with you people?"

"Free meals," Kaoru immediately replied.

"Free room and board," Misao added.

"Free medical treatment," Megumi purred. "Face it, you're a freeloader."

"Not to mention the fact that with _your _attitude, we're probably the only friends you could get…" Yahiko piped up.

Sano probably would have strangled them all if Okina hadn't cleared his throat just then, reminding Sano that he had other business to attend to. "Right," he said, nodding. "I shouldn't be long." Shooting one last glare behind him, he walked out of the room.

Saito was waiting for him outside, a short distance from the Aoi-ya. In the time it had taken for Megumi to treat Kenshin, Saito had obviously treated his own wounds as well. "I was wondering if you ever planned on coming out here," he said smoothly.

"Talk."

"Not here. Let's take a walk."

Sanosuke shook his head. "Why should I? You show up and almost destroy Kenshin. Are you _happy_ now? Is that what you wanted? To break him?"

The wolf's eyes hadn't changed. "No. That is the last thing I would want."

The fighter crossed his arms. "Sure coulda fooled me."

"This wasn't a meant to be a fight to the death. That's why I used attacks that I knew he could counter."

Sano stood speechless for a moment. "What? Then why…?"

"I was testing him, you idiot," Saito said, narrowing his eyes. "I didn't intend to kill him, and I certainly didn't intend to _break_ him. If his mind was damaged… you can blame that foolish girl's actions for that."

"I don't understand."

"Let's walk, and I'll explain." Saito strode off, forcing Sano to follow.

"Fine. We're walking. Now talk."

"He is not your little rurouni. This is the true Battousai. The hitokiri I remember from Bakumatsu." Saito's eyes glowed. "I could feel the difference in his ki since I first saw him yesterday. Especially after he faced that drunk in the marketplace and I got a look at his sword. But the only way I could be sure was by fighting him myself. By feeling his ki directed at me and watching his moves. _That_ is why I faced him. Obviously I couldn't kill him. I'm not as stupid as you are. Do you think I'd risk changing the entire future of Japan by killing the Battousai of the past?"

"That's crazy," Sano muttered, uncomfortably. He looked away. "How could he be Battousai? You sayin' he went through time or something?"

Saito smiled coldly. "You tell me."

Sano froze. "What?"

"I've been watching you two. You don't treat him like the rurouni. You've been guiding him. Protecting him." He laughed shortly. "Your actions betray you. That's why we need to talk." His amber eyes flashed with interest. "I want to know _exactly_ what happened to bring him here."

Sano shook his head and scowled, realizing that there was no hiding the truth from this wolf. "I don't get it. Why do _you_ care?"

"He needs to be sent back. If I know how he got here, I might be able to help him return. Isn't it obvious, or are you really that stupid?

"But he was your enemy during Bakumatsu!"

Saito pulled his cigarettes out of his pocket. He slid one out, and put it in his mouth. "So, what's your point?" he asked around the cigarette. He lit it, tossing the smoldering match to the ground.

The younger man looked exasperated. "I don't get it. Why are you helping him? I thought you said that after Shishio fell, you were gonna go back to being enemies like you were during the war. 'Aku soku zan' and all that."

Saito sneered. "Idiot."

The vein began throbbing in Sano's head again, as he considered just throwing a punch at the infuriating man and leaving. "Why am I an idiot _now_?"

"You don't understand what the war was like."

"I fought it, too!"

"As a child." Saito inhaled deeply, then blew some smoke out. "And now you're talking like one. There is no 'good and evil.'"

The fighter snorted. "What are you talking about? This coming from the guy who lives and dies by 'Aku soku zan?'"

Saito scowled. "There are shades of evil. Corruption is an evil. Careless destruction is an evil. But it isn't all black and white, good and bad, as you're making it sound. Just because someone is your enemy doesn't mean they are evil. There is no absolute evil."

Sano shook his head. "You're nuts."

"Really?" The wolf quirked his eyebrow. "Fine, then. By your logic, you're a hypocrite. You hate Meiji and the Ishin-shishi. They are your absolute evil, right? The reason you wear 'aku' on your back?"

"Yeah. So?"

Saito smiled coldly. "Then your friend Battousai is also evil."

"Don't judge Kenshin."

Saito's smile faded and he finally started looking angry. "_I_ didn't. _You_ just did. I will help Battousai because I respect him. I fought against him because I believed what he fought for was wrong. I still see the inherent evil in the system he killed for. But there were evils in the old system as well. He had as much a right to go against me, as I him. It was _war_, Sagara. There is no good and evil in war. Only insanity. War is all about contradictions. Deal with it."

Sano was silent, staring in surprise at the older man. Unable to find words. _This is important to him_, he suddenly realized. _Really important. Or he wouldn't go through the trouble of explaining it. He'd have just called me a moron and left it at that, like he always does. He really _does_ want to help Kenshin, for whatever his reason. _He sighed, shaking his head again. "Contradictions… like a hitokiri who talks kids out of suicide, huh?"

"What are you rambling about now, boy?"

"Kenshin… Battousai… he saved my life when I was a kid. Dragged me out of a river when I was going to jump off of a bridge." He paused thoughtfully. "In fact, it was the same river that I accidentally tossed him into the night they switched. Same bridge, too…"

Sano's dark eyes met the wolf's amber stare as things suddenly began to fall into place. "Wait a minute…" Sano started… "you don't think…?"

Saito's eyes narrowed. "I think you'd better tell me the entire story. Everything you can remember… from _both_ times…"

* * *

She sat alone in his room, keeping him company. Her fingers gently ran through his red hair, combing out the tangles in the silky strands. She'd been here since Sano had gone out to face Saito, which had been awhile ago. Distantly, she wondered how _that_ was going. But it was hard for her to focus on the fighter when she had Kenshin lying helpless before her. 

Kaoru sighed, watching his still form. He'd finally stopped flinching at her touch, his expression growing a bit less troubled, as though her presence were helping him. Kaoru hoped so. Because she was afraid for him. "Kenshin…" she breathed.

He sighed then, as though responding.

_Who is Tomoe? _she thought. _Is Yahiko right or is Aoshi? Is she an old girlfriend or someone you killed? Or is she someone else entirely? _Kaoru's eyes were troubled, but she didn't dare say that name aloud, for fear he would hear her and take a turn for the worse. So far, her voice seemed to be soothing him. She didn't want to ruin that. _Tomoe… Why have you never told us about her? _There were tears in her eyes. "What else haven't you told us, Kenshin?" she whispered. "I know I told you that your past doesn't matter, but I never realized just how little we know about you until now. How can I help you through your pain if you won't talk to me about it?"

She was crying now, silently. Tears running down her face, a few dripping into his hair as she bowed her head over his still body.

Megumi's words flooded back to her_. "You know what's going on. You know as well as I do. I won't believe that you can't see it. You just don't want to. If you won't admit it, that's your problem. Not mine, and not Ken-san's."_

She stared at his still form through her tears. _He looked so helpless… so helpless and so … young. Like a child really. Funny how sleep could do that to a person_. Not that this was the first time she'd had such thoughts in the past few days…

He stirred a bit, breaking into her thoughts, and drawing her attention. "Kenshin?"

"Tomoe…" Battousai murmured, as he had been doing for the past hour.

"Oh, Kenshin…" She couldn't take it. She had to leave him, at least for awhile. He'd understand. He wasn't himself lately, but he'd understand. "I'll be back," she whispered, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it tightly. She then stood up, brushing herself off, and walkin to the door. She just needed to get a little fresh air. Maybe he'd be awake by the time she returned. And she could ask him what was going on. Maybe this time he'd talk to her…

She turned to look at him from the doorway before stepping out and sliding the door shut behind her.

Battousai stirred again in the lonely room, even in his unconscious state feeling the emptiness. He sighed again softly. "Kaoru…"

* * *

_Author's note: Hello all. Just a quick note before the reviewer responses. My __friend and cowriter (under DumbledoresDelight) also posts Kenshin poetry now. (How cool is that?) So if you're into poetry, check her out and drop a review. (smiles) My shameless plug is now complete. Thanks for reading!_

_On to the reviewers:_

_lolo popoki: A BIG thank you for reading over my story and fixing my oopsies! _

_Shenyu: I'm really flattered by your praise. Thank you. And I know what you mean about that doctor. No more cringing when his shoulder hurts now!_

_Misaoshiru: Thank you so much for catching the mistakes. I know where the -dono came from. I had the anime dub on the brain, and since in the dub both Kenshin and Kaoru call her "Miss Megumi," I foolishly gave her the same suffix from both of them. Tatami...? I must have read it somewhere and misunderstood. Thanks again!_

_Applesoveroranges: A sequel, huh? Well, I have a prequel planned. It's called "Amethyst and Amber" and is a Bakumatsu story with Battousai and Ushiro in it. And I DO have a sequel idea... but it will be awhile before I ponder that one too much. It's called "A Time for Every Purpose" and it involves Kenji going back in time after his father's death to deal with Bakumatsu. But first I need to finish "A Wolf in Officer's Clothing" (Saito fic) and write "Burning Bridges" (Battousai fic) as promised! And then there's "In Due Time..." (goes swirly eyed) Oro! How did I wind up with so many fics?_

_Kawaii meeh: I'm happy you're so pleased!_

_Jodibetz: Sorry about the lack of Kenshin and Kaoru interaction, but let me explain myself a bit. The main couples here are Kenshin/ Kaoru and Battousai/ Tomoe. Now, this could change, but Tomoe is still a recent death, and Battousai's having a hard time dealing with it... so give the poor boy some time. I don't know if he'll wind up in love with Kaoru. But Kenshin IS, which is why he's trying so hard to get back to her, even if he doesn't say it every chapter. I hope you understand and don't mind... but that's how the story goes! I'm not really practiced in WAFF stories. (shrugs) Sorry!_

_Jane Drew: "I Was a Teenage Okashira"... (giggles) Nice... Good to see you again. I'm glad you're still enjoying the story. I don't mean for Kaoru to be clueless. Actually, she has quite a few clues and really does know what's going on. She just doesn't want to admit it, even to herself. And there is a reason for that, which will be explained in the story. I'm trying really hard not to go all OOC, so hopefully she'll come off okay. And I love your mental games of "so and so winds up in another era." Hiko and Katsura, huh? (giggles) Have you read lolo popoki's "Only the Beginning." There's a dark take on that scene in her story. Really good stuff!_

_Shadow Wolf of the Blue Moon: Thank you so much! I'm flattered. Hehe... if I ever publish anything, I'll make sure to throw it up on my bio page (and probably gush about it in author's notes until a reviewer tells me to shut up... hehe... just kidding.) I DO write original fiction, though. I post on FictionPress(dot)com under the same penname. FYI._

_FoboldFKY: Thanks for pointing out the -dono oopsie with Megumi. To see my explanation of the Megumi mistake, check out my response to misaoshiru. In my defense, the Okina one isn't a mistake. Okina, when he first met Kenshin, DID call him "Himura-dono" or "Battousai-dono." (at least he did in the manga.) But as time passed, he switched to "Himura-kun" as they grew more familiar. It was a respect issue for Battousai. Okina suspects that the Himura here is NOT the rurouni, so he is using "-dono" as he had when they were still pretty much strangers, since in this situation, they pretty much_ are_ strangers again... did that make sense? (I hope so!) Hey, how do you write Kenshin's name in kanji? Do you know how to write Shinta or Hiko Seijuro? Just curious. (I have no life... hehe...)_

_RiddleStar: I'm glad you had a chapter waiting for you!_

_Mir: I'm really glad that you're still enjoying the story. And I'm especially glad that Sano is coming off so well. He's such a wonderful character! If you don't mind asking, what do the Japanese characters in your review say? Thanks!_

_Riasan9: Nope, you aren't going insane. I post in both places! Nice to see you here!_

_Kalasin: Actually hearing that you love this story really DOES mean a lot to me. I appreciate it every time I hear it, because it means I'm apparently still doing something right. So thank you SO much for your review!_

_Skenshingumi: Ah, well you got more Bakumatsu Kenshin, and Saito/ Sano. Sorry there wasn't much Kaoru, though, but she's still an important part of the story..._

_omasuoniwabanshi: I'm glad you liked the chapter ending. Sorry Saito seemed so jerky, but did he make up for it this chapter? Still a jerk, but one with reasons, maybe?_

_Sakurastar-63: Older Kenshin does remember saving Sano. (That's what you were asking, right?) Thanks for the review!_

_And as always, a HUGE thank you to all other reviewers. I'm sorry I can't respond to you all personally!_

_Dewa mata!_


	22. Decisions

**Out of Time**_  
_

_**Chapter 22: Decisions**_

_1878_

Battousai lay still on the futon. His eyes closed. His breathing regular. He seemed to have finally fallen into a peaceful sleep. To those who could not read ki, it was a relief. It meant that maybe he'd pull out of it and be okay.

Aoshi allowed them to believe it. When everyone else went into another room to eat, he had gone to visit Battousai. The moment he'd walked into the room, he'd felt the boy's troubled ki. It was as he'd expected. The relaxed face only meant that the hitokiri had slipped a mask down, even in his sleep. His mind was still lost and floundering.

The ninja sat near the wall, watching the boy. "So, you are the demon of Kyoto…" he murmured, picking up Battousai's sword, which he had placed out of the hitokiri's immediate reach. He slid the blade from its sheath. _Strange to think of Battousai with a real katana. _He snorted. _Then again, strange that it was strange…_

"If you had attacked me with this in either of our fights, Battousai, I would be dead now." He stopped speaking. This probably wasn't the best thing to be saying where the boy could hear anyway. But oddly, the words seemed to relax the boy's turbulent ki a little. As though words of fighting and death were familiar and comfortable.

And then there was a shift in consciousness, so sudden that it took Aoshi by surprise. There was no change in Battousai's expression, his breathing. But he was awake now. Just like that. Awake and sensing a strange ki in the room.

Aoshi wondered how long it would be before the hitokiri went for the sword that wasn't there. He slipped the blade back into the sheath, and lay it at his side.

At the sound of the sword, the youth's eyes were open. He painfully pushed himself up with his good arm and looked around the room, his eyes falling on the silent man near the wall. There was suspicion in his eyes as he felt the man's ki. Aoshi wasn't surprised. They were friends now, he and this boy's older counterpart. But some small portion the ninja's mind would always want to fight him.

"Who are you?" Battousai's voice was hoarse.

"Shinomori Aoshi."

The youth stared at him, assessing. "Shinomori Aoshi… I've never heard of you."

_No surprise there._ Aoshi's ice blue eyes stared into the midnight blue of the hitokiri. _Better to get this over with._ "Have you heard of Oniwaban-shu?" he asked carefully.

"Ninjas," was Battousai's dark reply. The redhead's entire demeanor had changed. Again, unexpected. Aoshi didn't understand the pain behind that word. Yes, the Oniwaban had opposed this boy and his comrades, but there was something about the way the boy had spoken the word that made Aoshi think that ninjas were more to him than enemies of his cause.

"Yes," Aoshi replied. "Ninjas. I am part of the Oniwaban."

Battousai didn't move, except for a slight narrowing of his eyes.

"During Bakumatsu, I was Okashira of the group set to defend Edo for the Shogunate."

Something flickered across the boy's face. Understanding. He reached for his katana, but it was gone. It was only then that he seemed to realize that the sword at this ninja's side was his own. "Then you intend to kill me," he said softly, resignation in his voice.

That was more than Aoshi was comfortable with. The depression in his ki was one thing. But Battousai hardly seemed to have a will to live. This couldn't be the same person he'd fought in Kyoto. The man who had convinced him to focus on life instead of death. Had the years changed him so much? "If I intended to kill you, you'd be dead," Aoshi said simply. "I value a fair fight, but I am also aware of your skills, Hitokiri Battousai." He picked up the sword and held it out to the boy. "Take it if it will make you more comfortable."

The youth cautiously reached for his blade, holding it as though it were a lifeline.

"I was just looking at it to confirm my suspicions."

The boy blinked, his eyes widening. "Your suspicions… then you know…"

"Yes."

"How?"

"Your ki. Your face. Does it really matter?"

Battousai didn't answer, withdrawing into himself.

Aoshi studied him. This boy who was the strongest of Bakumatsu... this child who had somehow survived the fires of the revolution with his body and soul still intact. The youth was silent. Steady. His body tense and waiting for some cue… some proof that Aoshi was a threat. He was just a child. But his eyes were experienced, tired. Old. _He's seen more than anyone his age should experience. He is what I worked to keep Misao from becoming. _The ex-okashira finally was forced to look away, uncomfortable. _No wonder he's lost the will to live. What else has he lost? _Then a sudden thought struck him as he realized.

He looked up at this boy, hardly older than Misao. "Who is Tomoe?" he asked.

Battousai's eyes widened. "What?"

"You were talking in your sleep, Battousai." He paused a moment. "Is she someone you love?"

"She's dead." Flat voice. And he was no longer making eye contact, instead bringing his hand up to the bandage on his cheek.

Aoshi didn't miss this, but still he continued, knowing he was walking on dangerous ground. That the boy's surprisingly fragile mind was at his mercy. He had to be careful. "Someone you _once_ loved, then."

The boy's voice was suddenly hard and cold. "She is someone I killed."

Something inside of the ninja froze at those words, and all he could manage to say was, "I see… I didn't know…"

Battousai was silent. His eyes were a dangerous amber. The power in them barely masking cold pain. Clearly the conversation was over. Aoshi would have to be mad to continue. Especially when the hitokiri was once again armed.

But he was closing in on an idea, and this boy's mind, and possibly his soul, were at stake. Battousai had once saved Aoshi when he was on the brink, even though it had nearly cost the redhead his life. The ninja owed him at least as much. "You didn't mean to kill her, did you?"

Battousai flinched slightly, some of the amber fading.

"I'm sure she would forgive you if you'd let her."

"I don't need forgiveness," the youth said sharply, examining his katana rather than making eye contact. "Anyway," he continued softly, "I'm not fool enough to expect it…"

"That isn't true. You won't _accept_ forgiveness. There's a difference." At the boy's startled expression, he added, "I told you that you talk in your sleep. She haunts your dreams, this Tomoe…" He looked Battousai straight in the eye. "I know how you feel. I've lost people I cared about. They died trying to save me. The loss and the guilt nearly drove me mad. Almost causing me to lose what I still had right in front of me." He sighed. "Don't make her haunt you, Battousai. Don't condemn her to wander at your side and force her to see your pain. A strong man once taught me this, and it seems appropriate that I pass these words on to you." He stood. "Think on it, Battousai. I will leave you now."

The youth stared at him. "Shinomori…" he said softly. "Who was the man who told you that?"

Aoshi hesitated at the door, his back toward Battousai. "Someone who had to live through hell before he could see heaven," he responded.

With that, Aoshi walked from the room, leaving Battousai to his thoughts.

* * *

_1865_

Kenshin sat across from Katsura, quietly sharing sake, and trying very hard not to appear impatient. But almost nothing had been said in the past ten minutes, and even Kenshin's eternal patience was finally starting to wear thin. "Katsura-san," Kenshin finally said softly. "You did not just call me here to share sake, did you? Was there something you wished to discuss with me?"

The commander smiled. "Astute as always," he replied. "But more willing to show frustration with me. You would never have done that while you were my hitokiri." He laughed at Kenshin's stricken expression. "Relax, Himura," he said gently. "I'm not insulted. Actually, I find it refreshing. It just proves how much you've changed. How much you've grown. You're stronger now."

Kenshin shook his head. "I'm afraid you are mistaken, Katsura-san. I'm far past my fighting prime."

Katsura took a sip of his sake, raising an eyebrow. "There is more to strength than physical power. I'm sure you've learned that by now. Please don't demean me by implying that I have not."

The rurouni bowed his head. "Of course, Katsura-san. I am sorry."

Katsura smiled again and changed the subject. "I have been thinking of our situation, Himura. I wanted to run some ideas by you."

Kenshin's head snapped up, and he set the cup down with a clink. "You found a way to send me home?"

"I said I have ideas," his commander replied. "That is all. But there are details that don't sit right with me." His brow furrowed. "That boy, for instance. You seem convinced that finding this boy will send you home, but I disagree."

"What?" Kenshin's eyes widened. "But what else could it be? The coincidence is too great. And after last night… I know who that boy is. He was with me that night in both times."

Katsura sighed. "I don't deny that he played his part, but if that boy was your link, then explain this to me. Why didn't _he_ travel through time as well?"

The rurouni stared at him. "I… I never thought of it." His troubled gaze found Katsura's eyes. "So it was me? Something specific to me that caused this?"

"I think it was." There was a thoughtful pause before Katsura continued. "I think it was a combination. You went off of the same bridge with the same person into the same icy river." His expression was thoughtful. "I think that was all important, but the key was _you_. Your mindset at the time."

"My mind?" Kenshin blinked at him. "But I'm not the same as I was thirteen years ago. You've said it yourself. How could my mind—?"

"You said you have flashbacks sometimes. That being here is hard for you, because of this." The older man leaned forward, his dark eyes serious. "Think, Himura. What was on your mind when you fell into that river? Were you yourself, or were you having a flashback?"

Kenshin winced, remembering. "The boy. I flashed back to the boy. You are right, Katsura-san. I was Battousai for that moment."

Katsura nodded. "Then it seems if you want to return, you will need to be in Battousai's mind. Having the same thoughts in a similar situation."

The redhead stood, hands clenched, and began pacing, the stress of the situation forcing him to uncharacteristically drop his mask and allow his frustrations free reign. "But how could I do that? I don't know where Battousai is going to be. What situations he will be in. I don't _remember_ anything from this incident. It's just a blank spot in my mind."

"I am sorry, Himura. I told you I had no answers, only ideas."

The rurouni took a deep breath. "No. I am sorry. I was out of line." He bowed low. "I had no right to speak to you in that way. I am sorry, that I am. I…" He looked away. "If it is alright with you, I would like some time alone to think."

"By all means."

Kenshin left the room, sliding the door shut behind him.

The commander's dark eyes were worried as his expression grew distant. "I hope I can help you return home, Himura. Perhaps in that way I can somewhat atone for what I've done to you."

* * *

Hijikata was writing when there was a knock at his door. He sighed in frustration, running his hands over his face. This was the third blasted time that someone had interrupted him in the past half-hour. "Listen, Shinpachi, I don't _know_ when Sanosuke will be up," he snapped. "And if you come into my room one more time to bother me with your scatterbrained theories about Battousai actually _being_ a demon, I'll send you to hell myself to find out!" 

There was a pause.

"I take itNagakura has been his usual, charming self." The voice was definitely not Shinpachi's.

"Shit," Hijikata growled. Hajime. The one who claimed that it wasn't Battousai at all. Even _better._ "Come in."

The door slid open, and Saito entered, looking mildly amused. He glanced down at the paper Hijikata had been working on "Haiku?"

"Were you here for a reason, Hajime?" the vice-commander snapped.

The amusement faded from Saito's eyes. "I've just come from seeing Harada."

"And?"

"And… I'd like to take my unit against Battousai."

Hijikata turned away. "No."

There was a long moment of silence before Saito spoke. "Why?"

"The reason should be obvious."

"Why?"

Hijikata stood and glared at the third unit leader. "Because, Hajime, you don't even believe the man is Battousai. How can I trust you to finish him? This isn't a game. You know as well as I do that it was our efforts to save Kyoto during the Ikedaya affair that gained us any respect here. If we want to keep Kyoto for the Shogunate, then we need to eliminate the Choshu assassins. I can't risk you refusing to do the job."

"I intend to kill him. I wasn't certain about him before. But he's attacked Harada. He's clearly an enemy."

The vice-commander snorted. "And he wasn't an enemy when he attacked you or Souji? He wasn't an enemy when he allowed Takasugi to get out of Kyoto?"

Saito's voice was calm. "He wasn't out to kill. He had his chance to kill me then, and he didn't take it. But the attack he used against Harada _could_ have killed him. That changes things."

Hijikata didn't respond.

"'This isn't a game,' you said. Then how can you risk sending someone in who isn't prepared to face Battousai? Only Okita and I have faced him and come out walking. You know that. Send our units, and we have a chance. Send the others, and you'll have a bloodbath. It's simple."

The vice-commander gritted his teeth. Why the hell was it that _he_ always had to put up with this stuff? How did Kondo get out of it? "Fine," he growled. "Tonight. We have word that the anti-assassin will target hitokiri Shishio tonight. Your job is to make sure he succeeds. Battousai is _not _to get in the way. Is that understood?"

Saito bowed. "Understood, Hijikata-san. Battousai is to be eliminated."

* * *

_Author's Note: _

_A big oopsie was pointed out to me by Shirou Shinjin, and I felt the need to respond where you would all notice. The second issue of the manga points out that the Sekihou-tai was formed after the battle of Toba Fushimi in 1868. Obviously this is a problem, since I have the Sekihou-tai forming in about 1862, a full six years too early. This is a VERY large mistake, but unfortunately it is far too late in the storyline for me to fix now. I wasn't aware that this little blurb was in the manga. It's been awhile since I've read the first couple closely (I usually use the Kyoto arc for this storyline) and I missed it. I actually DID try to find the real date, and had a hard time looking up Sekihou-tai online (without getting Kenshin references...) So now we know... if there ever was any doubt, it should be gone... this story is DEFINATELY as AU as it's going to get. I'm sorry about this. And I'm sorry for making such a big note about it, but it is a big deal. Thank you so much for the information, though. And thank you all for reading, even with the screw-ups I've thrown in! (sweatdrops)_

_I have a Ruroken C2 community out there now called "Perchance to Dream" which contains a variety of fics, generally AU (although not necessary) focusing on odd stuff such as time travel, death fics, reincarnation fics and ghost fics... Please sign up if you're interested, and feel free to suggest stories for me to add! Thanks!_

_And one last thing: I now also post on www(dot)nfiction(dot)com. This site lets me post script format stories, so there is one fic of mine there that you won't find on fanfiction(dot)net. "Batman Beyond: The Last Laugh" which I co-wrote with my friend, Mike. Anyway... I know it isn't Kenshin info and probably didn't belong here, but I'm excited that I finally got to post it somewhere, so I'm shamelessly hyping it. _

_Anyway, on to the reviewers! (The important part of the Author's Notes, right?)  
_

_lolo popoki: Glad you liked the chapter. And as always, thanks for the encouragement and the help pre-reading this chapter!_

_Angel8818: Thank you so much!_

_Yami Chikara: I think I'm really starting to like Saito here, too. Although after this chapter, Hijikata started growing on me... _

_Shirou Shinjin: Thanks for the info about the Sekihou-tai, and thanks for the kanji! Very cool! As I mentioned above... nothing can be done about the date now... but I do have an explanation for Kyoto. I honestly thought this out when I wrote it (whether or not it works is another matter... heh... but it's what I had planned). It seems logical to me that if you want to make a point, you're going to make it in an important place where everyone can see it. Now I don't know how big a deal Shinsuu is, but I could really see them taking Sagara's head to Kyoto as a message. And it's been just over a week since the beheading, so I like to think that I gave Sano enough time to get there. Maybe not. (grins) Ah, but thanks for such an informative review! I love when I get to actually respond to them!_

_sueb262: Wow... thanks so much for the kind words! I'm really almost speechless._

_t.a.g.0.: I'm so glad you loved the chapter!_

_Mip the demon Fox: Thanks for mentioning the spelling error. It'll be corrected soon. And I know what you mean about Battousai. Personally, my worst problem was the multiple personality disorder idea. I've read some EXCELLENT stories that use that as a premise, but I don't agree that he has that problem... _

_skenshingumi: Thank you for the praise. I hope to be able to write all of those stories (along with a few others up my sleeve as "maybe" stories. - - innocent smile - - ) _

_Kalasin: Ah, well I'm glad you're both enjoying the story. The Sano/ Saito scene is one of my favorites, so I'm glad it was well received._

_Lady Hitokiri Battousai: Your reviews haven't been blah. I appreciate every one of them. And I hope all goes well with your summer vacation! Relax and have a good time..._

_dragonspirit4215: How many chapters? I can't say exactly... the story (and characters) kind of write themselves. But from what I know needs to be in here, I'm guessing close to 30 chapters total. Give or take... Oh, and by the way... time travel is one of my favorite types of fictions! (Big surprise, right? Heh...)  
_

_RiddleStar: Saito remembers the past, but it hasn't come to focus yet. He still needs to make the final connection there... Oh dear... I don't mean Kaoru to be _weak_ exactly. But if you've watched the Kyoto arc, when Kenshin is in bad straights, it's really hard on her, and she's a lot more withdrawn until he's more his usual self. Now add the complication of her trying to deny the truth to herself... it seemed that this would be how she'd act... although I honestly could be mistaken... just my take on her._

_Kenshinrogie: Ah, thanks for the recommendations, and thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you like the story._

_omasuoniwabanshi: I wouldn't have wanted Saito to just be a jerk either. I'm glad you liked how it all worked out._

_Garowyn: Ah, it's chi in the manga? I believe it can be spelled both ways: chi or ki. (Someone please correct me if I'm wrong... oh, that'll be hell to fix in old chapters if I am...) I've always used ki, so it's what I'm used to..._

_Ariana Duralte: I'm not sure if it could really happen without changing things either. The story itself was really only an experiment for me. I was telling one of my friends earlier that in all honesty, I never intended to post this story. It was just to serve the purposes of relieving stress (how ironic - - sweatdrops - - ) and testing to see if I could write a time travel fic that isn't so riddled with plot holes and time inconsistancies that it annoyed even me. (Obviously I can't, looking back at my BIG plot hole - - laughs - - ) I'm glad you enjoy the story, though. Thanks for the lovely review!_

_wyldcat: Hiko does remember Kenshin of the past visiting. Oddly, Kenshin seems to be the only one with the memory gap... _

_Sweet Taloa: I'm glad you like it (and my style, which I wasn't even sure was likeable until I tried posting this fiction... heh...) Thanks! _

_And to the anonymous reviewer: A movie, huh? I'm flattered you'd say that. Heh... hey, if someone had the capabilities to make it into a movie, I'd LOVE to see how that would turn out... (laughs)  
_

_To all other reviewers: Thanks so much for the reviews and for reading my fiction! Hopefully the next update will be soon!_

_Sorry this author's note was so long!_

_Dewa mata! _


	23. Words of Wisdom

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 23: Words of Wisdom**_

_1878_

Sanosuke paced inside the small office in the police headquarters. Saito basically ignored him, flipping through some paperwork that was lying on his desk. While they'd walked, Sano had told the wolf everything he remembered from the night Kenshin had traded places with Battousai. Saito had shown almost no interest once the story got going, doing nothing more than occasionally grunting to let Sano know he was listening. They'd wound up at the police station by the time Sano had finished, and now the fighter paced the room like a caged animal.

"Can't you sit?" Saito finally snapped. "Wearing a hole in the floor isn't going to send Battousai back."

Sano walked up to the desk and defiantly remained standing. "_You_ sure aren't doing anything about it either. You sounded so interested before. Now you don't care?"

"I have all the information I need. I can take care of this situation."

"_What?"_ Sano exclaimed, forgetting his stubbornness and sitting down. "How could you already know how to send him back? I've been wracking my brain about it since yesterday."

"I'm not as stupid as you are, that's why." Saito ground his cigarette out. "By some freak coincidence, Battousai wound up in the same situation in both time periods. Obviously the way to get them to switch back is to recreate the situation."

Sano's stare was blank. "I have to dump him in the river again?"

"No, you moron. The river doesn't matter. _You_ don't matter."

"Hey!"

Saito ignored him. "All that matters is getting his older and younger counterparts into the same situation."

Sano scowled and stood again, resuming his pacing. "And how are you supposed to do that? We don't even know what he's doing! It isn't like you can send a letter to him telling him what to do."

I don't have to. I know where Battousai is and what he's doing. Your story matches perfectly with an odd occurrence I observed during Bakumatsu." His eyes flashed. "Of a strange redhead with a sakabatou."

The fighter froze and turned to stare at the wolf. "You... you saw Kenshin? Is he okay? Is he going to get back alright?"

"If I knew that, do you think I'd be worrying about it now? Either leave me alone or sit down and shut up."

"But he was alive when you saw him?"

"Obviously. It wouldn't make much sense for me to bother recreating a situation with a corpse."

Sanosuke slumped back in his chair. _Thank God, _he thought, closing his eyes._ At least he's still alive. He has to live through this. He _has_ to. _He sighed. _I'm gonna deck him for putting me through this. _

Saito's irritated voice broke into his thoughts. "I know it's hard for you to have more than one thought at a time, but at least try to listen."

Sano's eyes snapped open.

The wolf was smoking again. "The last time I saw him in Bakumatsu was during a fight near your bridge. If I can get this Battousai there tonight, I might be able to recreate the fight. He and I... we don't often change our attacks against each other. It might work."

"You're gonna _fight_ him?" Sano growled. "After what happened to him today. He can't take that again."

"Battousai is stronger than you give him credit for."

Sano's eyes narrowed dangerously. "He's just a kid. I think all you old revolutionaries forget that sometimes. He's strong. He's killed a hell of a lot of people. His skill is incredible. But he's just a kid who never got to be a kid. That sort of thing messes people up. No wonder he almost broke back there when Kaoru tried to protect him. I'll bet no one's ever done that for him before. It's taken me all day just to get him to talk to people. He still flinches when you touch him. That isn't _normal_. He isn't as strong as you think."

Saito's expression was cold. "Battousai _isn't_ normal. He'll never be normal. _Never_."

"He has the right to try."

"Yes, in his own time, he has the right to try. But not here. Not now. Do you have any idea what you're doing to him?"

"I'm trying to save him."

"You're condemning him to death. If he grows soft here, he'll never survive Bakumatsu. If you have any value for his life at all, you'll leave him to the wolves."

"Meaning you," Sano growled.

Saito smiled coldly. "Precisely. There aren't any other options. I fought him in Bakumatsu. If I fight him again here, they might switch back."

"But that won't be a fair fight!" Sano snapped.

"What are you complaining about now?"

"Kenshin doesn't talk about Bakumatsu much, but I remember when we found out about Shishio, he told us a little about the Shinsengumi. He said you two were an even match back then. And now you're going to face him when he's wounded? You're tilting the balance in your favor. You could kill him if you screw up."

"Moron."

Sano gritted his teeth and pounded his fist onto the desk. _"What now?"_

"Isn't it obvious?" The wolf tapped some ash off of his cigarette and puffed it again. _"I'm_ the one taking the risk, not him. We _were_ evenly matched, but that was over ten years ago. I'm older now, and he isn't. It's as simple as that. A twenty-year age difference changes the odds a bit."

Sano just stared at him. "You mean--?"

"I'm risking my life for this. Yes."

"For him?"

Saito paused, sending Sanosuke a long, hard look. "For Japan. It has always been for Japan. _Always."_

_

* * *

_

Battuosai sat alone in his room, thinking about what the ninja had said to him. _Is that what I'm doing to you? Am I hurting you? _He raised a trembling hand to his face. "I wish you were here," he whispered softly. "If I could speak to you again... even see you... I'd know. What do you want of me? Should I remember you as I've been doing or move on with my life?" He rubbed his hand over his face and was surprised to feel tears. "I would never hurt you... Please understand..."

His agonized whispering was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. He didn't respond, remaining motionless at the sound.

Again there was the soft knock. Then the door slid open.

Battousai had just enough time to wipe the tears from his eyes before the lady doctor entered the room. He wasn't quite quick enough for the movement to escape her notice, though. She hesitated in the doorway, but didn't comment.

"Megumi-dono," he said softly, his voice still a bit hoarse.

She took that as an invitation to enter, and slid the door shut behind her. "Ken-san, how are you? Aoshi said that you were awake."

He stared silently at her for a moment, then replied, "I'm fine."

The lovely woman sighed and knelt before him, setting down her load of bandages. "We need to redress your wounds, Ken-san."

He nodded shortly.

She quickly went to work, taking off old bandages and examining the injuries. Treating them and re-bandaging them. For awhile they were both silent as she worked. But after wrapping the most recent wound in his shoulder, Megumi finally spoke.

"Ken-san... how did all of this happen?"

Battousai shuddered, thinking back to his old injuries. Fighting through the snowy woods with no sense of direction... with no senses at all. Knowing all the way that he was going to die, but fighting to live for someone else... "The older ones are from protection work," he said simply, hoping that Tomoe wasn't listening in, hurt by his brief explanation.

But all thoughts of Tomoe fled his mind at Megumi's next words.

"I wasn't talking about your injuries. I meant how did you get here? How is it that a hitokiri we've never really known has come to a time when the assassin has finally been driven out, turned into nothing more than a legend?"

"What?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

His blue eyes widened. "How did you know? Did Sano tell you?" For a moment Battousai just looked like a startled child, and Megumi had to fight not to laugh. If the situation weren't so serious, she probably wouldn't have succeeded.

"I have eyes, Ken-san," she said sternly. "You've always looked young, but _you_ aren't the man I've been treating. I'm your doctor, Ken-san. I notice these things. Fresh wounds conveniently placed over old scars? Did you think I wouldn't notice that? Or your moods? Your actions?"

Battousai shook his head. "Does everyone know, then?" _So much for Sano's idea to keep things quiet._

Megumi shook her head. "I doubt it. Aoshi does. And I think Kaoru knows as well. She won't acknowledge it, but she's been quiet... withdrawn... worried. Whether or not she'll admit it, she knows. She only acts this way when Ken-san leaves her. Part of her, I think, realizes that he's gone, and she's afraid that he won't come back."

Battousai turned his troubled blue eyes away from her, trying to digest this new information. He watched the late afternoon sun through the open window, sinking slowly in the sky. "And you? Do you think he won't come back? Are you afraid that you'll be left with me?"

Megumi put a gentle hand on his arm, startling him into making eye contact. Her expression was kind, and she reminded him more than ever of Okami. Perhaps that was why he was finding it so easy to speak with her.

"He has to come back. Don't misunderstand," she added, noticing him flinch ever so slightly. "I care about you as much as him. It isn't as though you're different people." Her smile was warm, but her eyes betrayed her concern. "But I'm worried. Kaoru will be crushed if she loses him. And Ken-san... I don't know if he..." She paused, finally correcting herself... "you... I don't know if you could live through Bakumatsu again."

Battousai nodded. "Because I won't kill?"

The woman's grip tightened on his arm, and her eyes widened in shock. "How do you know that?" she asked sharply.

"The sakabatou. My oath..."

Her eyes widened further. "You know about that? Did Sanosuke tell you?"

He smiled faintly, for once really looking like his older counterpart. "Of course I know about it. No one had to tell me. I swore not to kill or die by the sword six months ago." He looked away again. "I promised someone. For me, the oath begins when the revolution ends. But here... it is Meiji here. I must not have killed for awhile..." His eyes darkened as other thoughts crossed his mind. "And the oath will not change just because I am back in the revolution. I know my own mind well enough. I will not kill if I've sworn to stop. I worry about Katsura-san."

"Katsura! But isn't he the one who dragged you into that whole mess?"

The redhead shook his head, again turning to look at her with that kind, gentle expression so like that of his older self. "Katsura-san dragged me into nothing. He made an offer, and I made my choice. He is no more to blame than I am."

"He knew what he was doing. You were an innocent child."

"How do you know that I was innocent?" His amused expression held a hint of darkness. "It wasn't Meiji, Megumi-dono. I did not have an easy life before joining Katsura-san."

"You were a child," she insisted.

Battousai bowed his head. "Yes. I was a child. And now I am Katsura-san's sword. Without me, he is unarmed. That is what worries me."

She shook her head, not quite understanding. "He _has_ you."

His eyes were old suddenly, and it unnerved her. There was an understanding there that he shouldn't have had. A weight behind them that he shouldn't have to bear. Especially not alone. "He has a sakabatou at his side. How long with that last in Bakumatsu? As you said, I may not be able to live through that again._"

* * *

_

_1865_

Kenshin distractedly walked from Katsura's room, lost in his thoughts and concerns. _How am I to return home? If the only way is through my own thoughts and actions somehow matching up with Battousai's, then it will not be possible. Unless... _Kenshin shook his head. _No. Not a good idea... but possible, perhaps. _His thoughts turned to the Shinsengumi. Saito was one of the very few people who had ever managed to pull the hitokiri out so strongly that even Kaoru couldn't bring him back. If anyone could draw him back into the mind of his past, it would be Saito._ But how...?_

Kenshin's brow furrowed as he turned a corner and approached the front entrance of the inn with every intention to hide from the other soldiers. He needed time to think without any interruption. Because he had less than twenty-four hours to find his way home before things started falling apart.

He slid the door open, momentarily blinded by the late afternoon sun shining brightly through the open doorway.

"Battousai-san?"

Kenshin blinked and shaded his eyes with his hand. He looked around for a moment for the source of the voice. After a moment, he spotted Ushiro seated on the steps in front of him. "Ushiro-san," he replied, stepping out into the sunlight, and sliding the door shut behind him.

"Why don't you have a seat, Battousai-san?"

The redhead hesitated for a moment, then sat, remembering his promise to himself to have a word with Ushiro before he tried to return home again.

Ushiro leaned back against the stairs, eyes closed, resting his head against one of the upper steps. His black hair was out of its tie, spilling out behind him. His dark gi contrasted sharply with the dusting of white snow sprinkled on the steps. The air was chilly, but that didn't seem to bother the tall man any. His gi was open a little, and Kenshin could see some of his bandages.

"Ushiro-san, how are your wounds?"

The man cracked one eye open and looked at the redhead who was sitting stiffly beside him. "I'm okay. Okami says I'm healing up nicely." He smirked. "That happens, you know, when you let the doctor look at you right away."

Kenshin didn't respond, merely closing his eyes and shaking his head. He leaned back a little, trying to relax. It was strange though. In his mind, he had never associated friendly banter with this stage in his life.

The two men were silent for a moment before Kenshin spoke again. "Ushiro-san... I wanted to thank you," he said softly.

Ushiro had straightened. Kenshin's eyes were still closed, but he could feel the sharp surprise in the other man's ki. He heard the steps protest softly at the motion of the swordsman finally sitting up. There was no other sound.

"For the note," Kenshin added softly. "I... it meant a lot to me. I didn't realize... I never knew..." He sighed, at loss for words. "I just thought..."

Ushiro began laughing softly, and Kenshin turned and opened his eyes to stare at him.

"It's alright," the taller man commented, still chuckling. "You don't need to thank me. I'm just glad that it seems to have served its purpose. I'd have rather said it to your face, but you wouldn't listen. You're too stubborn." He grinned. "Guess it's a good thing that I can be as stubborn as you are."

Kenshin smiled back. "I guess so."

Ushiro leaned back on the step again. "You're an odd one... Never know how to take you. So quiet and serious one minute. Deadly the next." He looked a little concerned. "And always so self-hating. You need to do something about that, Battousai-san..."

"My name is Kenshin," the redhead said suddenly.

Ushiro smiled a little. 'I know that. But as I recall, the last time I tried to call you anything but Battousai, you nearly attacked me." His small smile turned into a friendly grin. "I value my life, you know."

Kenshin sighed. "I am sorry about that, Ushiro-san." He glanced away, tense. "I... I would rather you call me Kenshin now, though."

"Alright. As long as you'll call me Ryu. Deal?"

Kenshin relaxed a little. "Thank you, Ushiro-san ... Ryu..." He hesitated, as a troubling thought came to mind. "You understand that I may change my mind later. It won't be anything personal, but after a time, I may prefer to be called Battousai again. I just--"

Ushiro laughed and nodded, stretching lazily. "Right. Right. I understand. I don't think I've ever seen you so uncomfortable. It's just a name."

"It's more than a name to me."

Ushiro nodded. "To you, then. But 'Battousai' has always been just a name to me. Another label people thought they had to throw on you before 'demon' seemed more appropriate, the bastards." He shrugged, and it was obvious that he wasn't holding it against any of them. "I guess I've just always thought of you as that freaked out kid that Katsura-san brought back one day. Even when you started acting like nothing fazed you. Like your heart was stone... you've always been a freaked out kid hiding behind a stone mask."

Kenshin was silent for a moment. Finally he said softly, "Thank you."

Ushiro shrugged it off, turning to look at the redhead. "So, when do you think I'll have to start calling you 'Battousai' again?"

"I don't know... whenever I change my mind." Kenshin winced a little at how that had sounded.

"When you change back, I'd assume."

Kenshin froze, his lavender eyes widening as he turned again to his companion. "What did you say?"

Ushiro was still smiling, but there was something deep within his eyes. "You didn't think I noticed? I've been working with you for six months now. And I've been trying to crack through that shell of yours for almost as long. Are you trying to tell me that you honestly didn't think I'd notice when you suddenly let me in?"

The redhead's mouth was slightly open. He found that no matter what words made their way into his mind, he couldn't speak them. _Ushiro had known. He had always known. Which meant he'd cared enough to look. _He finally found his voice. "Okami was right, then. She thought people would realize..."

"Okami's a smart woman. She notices things." He paused. "You're older than me, now, aren't you?" he asked thoughtfully.

Kenshin blinked at him. "I'm thirty."

Ushiro stared at him. "You're kidding... that old?"

"Thank you," Kenshin said dryly.

"You're almost as old as Katsura-san."

"Ryu..."

"Another ten years and you'll be as old as my father."

"You aren't helping."

The dark-haired swordsman shook his head, amazed. "Thirty. Wow... I guess I just never saw you living that long."

"Is this supposed to be making me feel better?" Kenshin asked, amused.

Ushiro raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, but it's true. I thought you were going to get yourself killed. I hated the thought of it, but you never cared _what_ happened to you..."

"I care now."

Ushiro nodded. "Yes. It shows. You have someone waiting for you, then?"

Kenshin's eyes widened, causing Ushiro to laugh.

"That shows, too."

"An open book, am I?"

The two men sat in silence for a long while, both lost in their thoughts. It was a peaceful day. The kind that could make one feel like there was no revolution. The light dusting of snow glistened on the ground, reflecting the golden light cast by the sinking late afternoon sun. The breeze that ruffled their hair was almost warm, but just cool enough to remind them that spring wasn't here yet. Winter was ending, but it wasn't over.

And neither was the revolution.

"Kenshin... can I ask you something?"

The redhead looked toward Ushiro, startled by the other man's suddenly serious expression. "What is it?"

"I understand if you don't want to answer, but... in your time..." He paused. "Do we ever talk to each other anymore?" He looked concerned. As though this were important to him. His dark eyes focused on Kenshin's lavender ones. "Because it looks like you came out of this alright. It seems like we could be friends now. But you still talk to me like I'm a stranger. I just wondered."

Kenshin felt a familiar pang in his heart. The same sharp ache he'd felt when he'd heard that this kind man had died early in Meiji. When he'd first really understood that he'd made attachments to the people he'd fought with. Fought for.

"Kenshin?"

"I'm sorry, Ryu... I haven't seen you in a long time." He looked away. "I don't visit Kyoto often. And you're... in Kyoto."

"Ah. That makes sense. Bad memories." He sighed. "It's a shame, though. To think I worked so hard to get you to drop your defenses, only to give up when I had a chance."

"You never gave up," Kenshin said sternly. "Even to the end, you never gave up on me." He smiled ruefully. "I just gave up on myself, so I never realized..." He shrugged.

Ushiro snorted. "You always were a baka. Giving up on yourself... I know a lot of grown men who aren't half the person you were... are. You're worth something. To me. And to whoever you've got waiting for you back home." His expression turned thoughtful. "You know, you should visit me."

"Oro?"

The strange word elicited laughter from the tall swordsman. "You heard me. You should visit. Suck it up. Come to Kyoto for a couple of days and see me. In fact, I'll bet you're supposed to be there now, aren't you? Probably has something to do with how you wound up back here. So you have no excuses. Visit me. I'll know you. It could be fun. I'd like to see you. You know... we could reminisce or something."

"I don't think that—"

Ushiro didn't let him finish. "Now, just wait a minute. You won't visit me in Kyoto, but you can come back to the _revolution_ to see Katsura-san? I'm wounded." He made a show of putting his hands to his heart, and nearly fell off the step. "You're killing me. Really."

At that, Kenshin laughed, shaking his head.

The other man straightened up, looking at him warmly. "Hey, you're laughing." His expression was indescribable. He had almost a look of pride on his face. Like an older brother watching his younger sibling finally accomplish an impossible feat. There was something bittersweet about the redhead's laughter being such a thing. "I haven't seen you laugh in a long time."

Kenshin smiled at him. "I would like to visit you, that I would. I'll... see what I can do."

Ushiro nodded. "Good. Maybe I'll have another note for you. You seem to respond to them better anyway."

He closed his eyes again, seemingly satisfied.

Kenshin watched him for a moment, studying the one person aside from Tomoe who had tried so hard to help him. He would lose Ryu, too. That seemed to be his fate.

He smiled a little, leaning back against the step and looking up at the deep blue sky. But with Ryu, as with Tomoe... they'd never really be gone. As long as he remembered them. Visited them.

"I will visit you as soon as I'm home, Ryu..." he whispered.

The other swordsman had finally drifted off to sleep, and didn't respond.

* * *

_Author's Note: Terribly sorry about the wait. My vacation was very nice. To those of you who wished me well on my trip, thank you. To all of you who read and/ or reviewed, thank you, too. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to drop a note to reviewers this chapter. I have a lot of backlogged emails to check and updating to do! I hope you will forgive me. Thank you so much for reading this chapter. Please review!_

_Dewa mata!_


	24. Fall into Place

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 24: Fall into Place**_

_1865_

Kenshin had decided to wait until nightfall to try to return home. It meant that he'd only have this one chance, but his odds at succeeding were higher if everything was set up to draw out the hitokiri. And that included the dark of night.

Kenshin smiled humorlessly. He would never have dreamed that one day he'd actually be _trying_ to draw the hitokiri out.

Carefully, he had been gathering his things together, making sure to leave everything as Battousai had left it. He looked up at the wall. His carving there was nothing he could do about. But he had other things to worry about now.

Namely, how to draw Saito into a fight without overexerting his sword arm again. The rurouni grimaced. Assuming, of course, that tonight would be the third unit's patrol. Based on their old patterns, he was due for a night run, but from what he'd heard the other men discussing, the Shinsengumi had been changing things a lot lately, trying to throw them off guard.

Which meant Kenshin could be up against Nagakura Shinpachi for all he knew. That would make things more difficult. Kenshin had spent most of the late afternoon and early evening planning what needed to be done. As far as he could tell, his best bet would be to track down the Shinsengumi's unit, preferably Saito's. If he could draw the unit leader away into a private battle, he might have a chance at staying alive, even with his injury.

And if he faced Saito, he had a chance of slipping into the mindset of Battousai. And that might be enough to send him home.

He hoped it was.

To top it off, he'd changed is clothes again, this time intentionally dressing as he had in the past. The dark clothing. The high ponytail. The armguards.

His sakabatou rested where he'd once carried an ordinary katana.

He hesitated a moment before adding the most difficult adornment. He'd been unable to find his wakizashi. Probably he'd been wearing it when they'd switched.

Ryu had not questioned him when Kenshin had asked to borrow his.

And now Kenshin found himself doing something he'd never dreamed that he'd do again. He was adding his second blade, this one deadly, to his adornment.

He only hoped to god he didn't draw the wrong blade in the heat of battle.

The redhead glanced out the window to see the waning moon rising. It was time.

His hand tightened around the hilt of his sakabatou for comfort as he slipped out the door to begin a deadly game of cat and mouse.

_

* * *

_

The wolf had begun his own hunt only half an hour earlier. His unit quietly moved behind him through the streets. And he was well aware that Okita's own unit wasn't far to back him up if things became... complicated.

Saito Hajime glided through the streets, his amber eyes darting back and forth like a predator, well aware that his prey was possibly as powerful as he was. This was a dangerous game they were playing, but if it was successful... A grim smile materialized on Saito's face for a moment. If they were successful, their prize could very well be Katsura's fall. And with one of the key Choshu leaders out of the way things would go much easier.

At least, that had been Kondo's reasoning at the private meeting he'd held between Hijikata, Okita, Saito and himself. Hijikata was more focused on helping the anti-assassin.

Personally Saito just wanted a shot to finish what he and the redhead had started two evenings ago. Only this time, he had no intention of allowing the man to get out alive. Battousai or not, this would end here.

* * *

_1878_

The Aoi-ya was relatively quiet. Megumi had finally left Kenshin's room and was off cooking supper. Neither Sano nor Kaoru had yet returned to the Aoi-ya. Aoshi was off meditating by himself. And Battousai was in the bathhouse, under Megumi's instructions to relax his sore muscles and troubled mind. It was almost too peaceful, not that such a thing ever lasted long.

"You're stepping on me, Misao," hissed Yahiko.

"Well, what did ya stop for?" she responded in irritation. "Keep walking."

He shot a glare back at her as they sneaked from the inn to the bath house. "_Shhhh..." _He sprinted the short distance between the inn and the small shed located about halfway to the bathhouse. Misao followed and both peeked out from behind their hiding place. Omasu was heating the bath for Kenshin. If they could slip past her, they'd be all set.

Misao sighed and shot a glare at Yahiko as both of them ducked back behind the shed again. "Remind me why I'm skulking around with you at my own inn, Yahiko..."

"_Will you shut up?"_ the boy growled. "Not so loud... I want to know who that guy is once and for all. I'm telling you, he's not Kenshin. I don't care if he's got the scar or not, that's not him. He's admitted it himself, and I've gotta have _someone_ more trustworthy than Sano backing me before I say anything to the rest of them!" He snorted. "Don't know why I picked you though..."

Misao gritted her teeth, and kicked him in the head. "Jerk," she snapped. "What I want to know is how seeing him take a bath is going to confirm your crazy theory?"

Yahiko staggered back to his feet, rubbing his head. He looked about ready to strangle the ninja. "We aren't going to look at Kenshin. We're just going to look at his sword. If it's the sakabatou, then you're right and somehow it _is_ him. But if it's a katana, then you have to believe me. You _know_ Kenshin would never carry anything else..."

Misao sighed and peeked from behind the shed again. "Well, now's your chance. Omasu's looking the other way. Let's go." Without waiting for Yahiko, she ran the rest of the distance to the bathhouse. He caught up just as she was slipping the door open and entering the small changing room. They barely had the door closed before Omasu turned back in their direction.

"Close call," the boy muttered. He walked over to Kenshin's clothing. His gi and hakama were neatly folded with the sheathed sword placed carefully on top of the pile.

Misao crouched next to Yahiko, both of them staring silently at the simple pile. "Do you really think we should mess with Himura's stuff?" She sent him a skeptical look. "I mean, if it _is_ Himura, then we're butting in on his privacy. And if it isn't, he might get mad at us."

Yahiko picked up the sword. "If it's Kenshin, he'll understand. And if it isn't, then I really don't care what that guy thinks." He began pulling the sword from its sheath.

Before the blade was even visible, they heard a sound behind them and slowly turned.

The door to the bath had been slid open, and Battousai stood in the entranceway, a towel wrapped around his waist. He was staring quizzically at the twosome. First at Misao, then at Yahiko. Then, when both appeared suitably embarrassed, his eyes traveled to the sword in Yahiko's hands. He didn't appear angry, only puzzled. "Yahiko... Misao-dono..." He looked at both of them again. "Might I ask what you're doing?"

Misao scooted back from the sword and pointed at Yahiko. "It was _his _idea."

Yahiko glared at her. "Thanks a lot..."

But still Battousai didn't appear angry. "Yahiko?"

The boy's eyes were drawn to Battousai's, but he didn't answer.

Battousai walked the rest of the way into the room and knelt beside him. He gently took the sheathed sword from Yahiko's hands. "Yahiko... what did you want with my sword?"

The boy stared defiantly up at him. "You aren't Kenshin! I know you aren't. But no one's gonna believe me unless I can prove it! I just wanted to know the truth."

The redhead stared down at the katana in his hands. "The truth?" he asked softly. "The truth is..." He ran his fingers over the worn sheath. His thoughts traveled to Megumi and Sanosuke and even Hiko. Especially Hiko and his reminder that no matter what, the choice was still _his. _These people all knew what had happened, and still accepted him. To them, he was their friend, no matter what. He shook his head, smiling a little and finally understanding. He turned and looked straight into Yahiko's brown eyes with his blue violet ones. "I am Kenshin," he said softly. "Himura Kenshin." He smile broadened and he shook his head, looking at Misao and Yahiko in turn. Even these two would eventually care enough about him to sneak in here trying to find out the truth.

He stood suddenly as another thought took precedence in his mind. "I need to speak with Kaoru-dono," he said softly. "Please excuse me." And with that, he scooped up his gi and hakama and hurried from the bathhouse.

Misao and Yahiko stared after him in surprise.

"I told you it's Himura," Misao started, but Yahiko didn't let her finish.

"Shut up," he grumbled.

* * *

After Battousai had made a quick trip to his room to change into his clothing, he went looking for Kaoru. After circling the inside of the Aoi-ya for a time, he finally found her sitting outside in the barren garden. She was staring off into space as a light dusting of snow fell around her. 

He watched her a moment, marveling at her. This girl who could somehow care so much about someone like _him_. He still didn't quite understand why. With this thought, he stepped into her line of vision.

Kaoru was on her feet as soon as she saw him. "Kenshin!" she exclaimed happily. "You're awake! I was so worried!"

He approached her. "Kaoru-dono. I'm sorry to have worried you. To have worried everyone."

There were tears in her eyes, but for once they didn't frighten him, and he gently brushed them away. "Kaoru-dono..." he whispered. "Why are you crying?"

She sniffled a little, blushing. "I'm just happy. You had us all scared when you collapsed the way you did. We didn't know what to think. And you were wounded. I'm just so relieved that you're alright!" She looked like she wanted to hug him, but was trying to hold herself back. She hadn't forgotten how he'd reacted the last few times she'd touched him.

"Kaoru-dono," he said softly, "we need to talk." He motioned toward the bench where she had been seated moments ago. "Please sit."

And the worry was in her eyes once again. "Kenshin?" she asked, sitting.

He sat beside her, and stared off at the distant clouds in the azure sky. "Kaoru-dono... may I ask you a question?"

"Of course, Kenshin."

She was scared. He could feel it in her ki. Either his actions or his words were frightening her, and he wasn't sure why. He tried to block her ki and focus on what he needed to say. This was something that had been bothering him. Something he needed to understand.

"Kaoru-dono... what do you see in me?"

She blinked up at him. "What? Kenshin, you aren't making any sense."

He shook his head. "I just can't understand what you see in me. Why would you care about someone like me?"

"Someone like you?"

His voice dropped, and the blank mask threatened to slip over his slightly wavering expression, but he forced it back. "I'm a murderer, Kaoru-dono. What can you see in a man twice your age who spent the revolution murdering people?" He sighed, finally turning to look at her. There was pain in his eyes. Pain and frustration and regret... and something else that may have been hope. Or perhaps that was just a trick of light and shadows. "I just can't understand. You're free from those evils. No blood stains your hands or your heart. You're pure. Why would you want to risk tainting yourself with someone like me?"

"This isn't funny, Kenshin," she replied, looking away. "You know my answer..."

There was a long pause before he replied in a voice so soft that it was barely audible. "I'm serious, Kaoru-dono. Please don't make light of this..."

Her eyes were wide as she turned back to him and gaped in surprise. "You really mean it, don't you?" She shook her head. "But Kenshin, that isn't you. You're not a killer. Not anymore. That's just a part of your past. I don't care about your past. I don't care who you _were_. All I care about is who you are now. And now, you're a good person." She blushed and looked away for a moment. "I've never known anyone like you. You're so strong, yet still so gentle. You care about _everyone_. You could have any government position you want, yet you still choose to stay here with us. You're special. To me... to everyone. What _isn't_ there to see in you?"

He just stared at her. "You don't care about my past? That I was a hitokiri? That I was a demon?"

Kaoru turned back to him suddenly, smiling warmly at him. It took him a moment to realize that she had gentle tears tracking down her cheeks.

She took his hands in hers, startling him. But she noticed that he didn't pull his hands away. "Kenshin, I can't believe that you were ever a demon. You fought for what you believed in. Just like you do now. Only now, you've learned how to fight without killing. But you're still the same person, aren't you? So how could I care about your past? Is this what's been bothering you?"

He didn't answer, seemingly trying to register all of this information. _She didn't care. To her, he was the same person. To _all_ of them, he was the same person. Shishou was right. They cared about him... no matter who he was..._ He shook his head, trying to clear it. Then gently, he took his hands from hers and stood up, standing before her.

"Kenshin?"

He smiled at her, the first genuine smile he'd had for her since he'd first arrived. "Kaoru-dono, I... I have something I'd like to show you." He removed the sheathed sword from his hip and held it out to her.

When she didn't move to take it, he gently placed it into her hands. "Please."

She looked up at him, her blue eyes wide. "Kenshin... I don't understand... Why...?"

"You wanted to know the truth of what was going on." He motioned toward the katana. "It is there in your hands. The truth... about me."

A strange expression came over her face as she finally looked down at the sword on her lap.

And Kaoru gently pulled the blade from its sheath.

* * *

_Author's Note: _

_WolfDaughter: Can't wait to see what you come up with for Ushiro! I still think that's really cool that someone would actually want to write a side story based on this. Wow... Thanks!_

_Omasuoniwabanshi: (hugs back, platonically) Hehe... thanks! I enjoyed reading your stuff!_

_Gypsy-chan: I had a great trip. If you're interested, email me sometime..._

_kimberlyann: Don't worry about it. I intentionally left the haiku scene kind of ambiguous so that those who had read PMK would get the reference, and those who hadn't could get some humor!_

_Nemesis Jedi: Hiko has always been one of my favorite characters, so there's a pretty high chance that we'll see him again..._

_sueb262: Wow... a lot more people seem to like Ushiro than I'd ever expected. I feel bad that he dies, too, actually. But I never expected him to be such a big character to begin with. He just decided that he wanted to interact with Battousai far more than I'd ever expected! And now I'm stuck with the fact that the poor guy doesn't live very long..._

_Anyarei: Thanks for the high praise!_

_E.A.V.: I made you cry?_

_Dragonspirit4215: I'd say we're lucky Sano understands as much as he does... But now that Saito's involved... things are hopefully going to get interesting..._

_kawaii meeh: Yes, Ushiro is an original character. I'm so glad you like him!_

_Lolo popoki: You're an awesome beta! Thanks again for reading over this chapter and the last one!_

_And to all the other reviewers... thanks again for reading and reviewing!_

_Dewa mata!_


	25. Cat and Mouse

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 25: Cat and Mouse**_

_1878_

The blade made almost no sound as it slid from its sheath. Its weight unbalanced Kaoru a little. She was used to the lighter bokken. The tip of the blade dropped, digging into the dirt and snow at her feet.

And that was when she noticed what she was holding.

Slowly she raised her eyes to meet his. They traveled his face, searched his expression, looking for some proof that this wasn't real. But his youth only confirmed what had already taken root in her mind. Taken root long before she'd been willing to put words to it. She looked back down at the blade.

"Oh..."

"Kaoru-dono?" He sounded frightened. He was afraid of something...

She raised her eyes again to his. "Kenshin?" she whispered.

His brow furrowed. "Yes... Kenshin..." Then as an afterthought, he added, "Hitokiri Battousai."

She reached up and gently touched his cheek, startling him and causing him to jerk backwards. But she didn't back down, running her fingers through a few strands of his long, flame-red hair.

"I thought your hair looked different," she choked out.

He blinked at her. "Ara?"

Kaoru's jaw dropped a little. "What did you say?" _Had that almost been an 'oro?'_

He shook his head. "What? What did I say?" He looked as confused as she felt.

Kaoru didn't answer, staring at him silently. "Kenshin..." she finally whispered again. "When...?"

He looked away briefly. This wasn't going as he'd hoped. She was shutting down. Pulling away from him... Or was it just that he was so afraid she _would_, that he was imagining she _was_...? "When I fell into the river. When I was with Sanosuke..."

"Are you really..." She swallowed hard and tried again. "Are you really Battousai? How _can_ you be? You _can't_ be..."

He smiled grimly, cold understanding settling in the pit of his stomach. "_You _said I was. If you can see it, then how can it _not_ be true?"

"Can you change back?"

He turned to her, his eyes cold and expressionless again. "If I knew that, I wouldn't be here, Kaoru-dono. Why would I stay?"

He tried to ignore the hurt in her eyes. So he'd hurt her. It was better this way.

Anyway... she'd hurt him...

"Would you rather be in Bakumatsu...?"

He winced. How was he supposed to answer that? "Do you think I'm crazy?"

"What?"

His dark eyes bore into hers. "You heard me. You must think I'm crazy to _want_ to be there. But I have obligations..."

Kaoru swallowed hard. "Is she pretty?"

He was just staring at her, at a loss for words. _What was she talking about? Were they even having the same conversation anymore?_

Kaoru looked away, tears in her eyes. "You love her, don't you? That's why you want to return..."

"What are you talking about!" he finally burst out, exasperated. "Is _who_ pretty? I want to return, because you want to get rid of me!" He faltered there at her stricken expression. "...Don't you?"

Both looked away in awkward silence, trying to work up the nerve to speak their hearts. Unfortunately they both regained their courage at the same time.

"Do you want to get rid of me or not?"

"You don't have a girl waiting for you?"

He shook his head. "A _girl_? You think an _assassin_ has a _girl_ waiting for him?" He snorted. "No one is _waiting _for me except for Katsura."

"Then who is Tomoe...?"

He fell silent. "Who... where did you hear that name?" He stood up in agitation, and walked over to a tree, leaning against its trunk.

"You said it in your sleep," Kaoru whispered. "So... she _does_ mean something to you." Her voice wasn't exactly accusing, but there was an almost betrayed tone buried in a deep sadness.

The redhead watched the late sun finally begin to sink past the tree line. "Tomoe..." He paused. _Was Shinomori right? Should he let her rest? He had Kaoru-dono right in front of him. Tomoe had just wanted him to be happy in the end. Wouldn't she _want_ this?_

Sadness darkened his eyes.

_Then again, he really didn't _have_ Kaoru at all. He had to go back, whether he wanted to or not. It would be a long time before he saw this girl again..._

"Kenshin?"

He snapped out of his thoughts at her hesitant voice. Her expression was worried when he turned to look at her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I shouldn't have brought her up. If you don't want to talk about her..."

Battousai sighed, making his decision. He smiled at her gently, walking back toward her and sitting next to her. He took her hands in his. "You did nothing wrong, Kaoru-dono. Please do not apologize. Tomoe is... complicated. I'm not ready to explain her to you. I don't think I'm ready to give her up. Not yet." He continued hurriedly before she could interrupt. "However, I think ten years will be enough time." He paused, letting his words sink in. "Give me until then. Please." His voice was soft, and his eyes dropped. "Give me until Meiji."

"Kenshin..."

And before he knew what was happening, she had her arms around him, hugging him close. "Of course I can do that much. A person would do anything for someone she..." Kaoru trailed off, flushing a little at what she was about to say.

Battousaiwas unable to reply. Someone was approaching. Gently, he pulled away from her, sending her a quick smile before turning to see Okon approach. The ninja woman smiled secretively at both of them before turning specifically to Battousai. "Himura-san," she said, extending her hand. She held a folded paper. "This was given to me with instructions to be sure you received it."

He sent her a puzzled look. "Who delivered it?" he asked, unfolding the paper.

Okon shook her head. "A young girl. She ran off before I could ask her anything more."

Battousai just nodded, reading the paper. His expression darkened briefly, before he folded the note, and slipped it into his hakama. "Thank you..." he said, standing. "I will take care of this."

Okon simply returned his nod and left them alone.

"Kenshin?" Kaoru asked, sounding somewhat alarmed. "What is it?"

He turned to her, his expression bland again. "Do not worry, Kaoru-dono. It's nothing of importance."

His words didn't comfort her. "It's something bad, isn't it? Whenever you get messages, it's always something bad..."

He just stared at her, the setting sun behind him, throwing his face into shadow, so she couldn't read his expression. "It's alright, Kaoru-dono. I just need to go for a little while. But I'll be back soon, alright?"

Kaoru didn't look convinced, her blue eyes staring deeply into his. "You promise you'll be back? You're not going to wander off on me again?"

His smile was barely visible in the spreading darkness. "I promise. I will return. Do not worry."

She nodded, sighing a little in relief. "Alright, then. I'll wait for you. But not for long. You'd better be back soon."

"It won't take long." At that, he turned and walked away, leaving Kaoru to her own thoughts.

He had his own troubles to deal with. The words of the note ran through his mind again:

_We will finish our duel, Battousai, one way or another. Either we meet at the bridges near the city's outskirts tonight, or I will find you myself, and we'll fight in your friends' inn. The choice is yours._

_Saito_

* * *

_1865_

Ushiro sat alone in his room, staring quietly out the window. The room was dark, the only light coming from the moonlight streaming through the open window. He should be resting. He had spoken with Katsura that evening, and knew he'd be going on a mission again in the next day or so, but for some reason, he was unable to sleep. Instead, he was watching the stars and allowing his mind to wander.

_Why did he need my wakizashi?_

Ushiro hadn't asked questions when Kenshin had come for the blade. It had been obvious that the redhead didn't want to discuss this, and honestly, Ryu was honored that Kenshin had trusted him enough to come and borrow his sword, so he'd kept his mouth shut. But something wasn't right. Kenshin hadn't seemed like himself, and that was worrisome. Twice already, Ryu had almost gone to his comrade's room to check on him, and twice he'd barely managed to convince himself that he was letting his imagination run away with him. Nothing was wrong. Kenshin probably just needed the sword because he'd finally realized that people would notice him. And they'd notice if Battousai was missing a blade. It was logical.

Then why didn't it make him feel better?

He sighed, finally rising to his feet. He wasn't going to get any sleep until he was sure that Kenshin was alright, so he'd better just get it over with.

Before he'd even gone a step, there was a knock at his door, startling him. At first he thought it might be the redhead, saving him a trip, but after a moment and a second knock, he realized that the sound was too timid. It was someone else.

"Yes?" he called.

There was a pause. Then a soft voice came from the other side of the door. "Ushiro-san... may I speak with you?"

The swordsman flushed a little, quickly throwing his gi on, making himself presentable. "Nozomi-chan! Yes... of course.Please come in."

The door slid open, and the girl stepped inside. All of Ushiro's hurried attempts at making himself presentable didn't matter. Her eyes were on the floor. She bowed deeply, and stood in silence, just within the doorway.

Ushiro waited a moment, hoping she'd speak. When she didn't, he cleared his throat a little nervously and asked, "Did you need something, Nozomi-chan?"

She glanced up at him briefly. "Ushiro-san." Her voice was so quiet, he almost had to strain to hear her. "Ushiro-san... I am sorry for bothering you so late. But I didn't know who to speak to. I didn't dare wake Katsura-san..."

The swordsman's eyes widened. "Katsura-san! What would you need to wake _him_ for? What's happened?"

She appeared distressed. "It's Battousai-san... I went to his room to bring him some supper, and..." She flushed a little. "He's gone. I don't know what has happened to him. I wouldn't worry, but his futon was folded up, and the room had been cleared. It looked like he just left." Finally she looked straight into his eyes. "Ushiro-san. He was hurt badly. I heard the doctor speaking with Katsura-san last night. His arm will only heal if he lets it rest." She seemed to be nearly in tears. "I'm afraid... What if he...?" She swallowed, and continued in a slightly calmer voice. "I don't want him to die, Ushiro-san. If he's gone out, and the Shinsengumi find him..."

She didn't need to finish. Ushiro had already grabbed his katana and was in motion. "Kuso," he swore softly. "That baka. I knew he was going to do something stupid! He's going to try to go home... The _baka_."

"Ushiro-san?"

He turned to look at the wide-eyed girl, and sent her a gentle smile. "Nozomi-chan, thank you for telling me. I'll bring him back. Don't worry. He'll be alright. I'm not going to let him get himself killed. Okay?"

Without even waiting for her answer, he strode past her out the door.

"Ushiro-san!" she exclaimed, hurrying into the hall. But he had already turned the corner and didn't hear her.

"Ushiro-san..." Her voice was a whisper. "You be careful, too..."

* * *

In another part of Kyoto, the moon shone on a very different scene. A man stood alone on the steps to a temple. The crisp air stirred his long hair as he wiped his blade. Then, after sheathing it, he turned and walked down the stairs, oblivious to the body left near the top. It was over. And once the victims were dead, they lost consequence. 

The body. The blood. It meant nothing to him now. He kept walking past the steps. It didn't matter... None of it mattered.

Shishio's dark eyes narrowed as he made his way to the main roads of Kyoto. There was a strong ki behind him. Someone was following.

Clearly someone else had a death wish...

* * *

Kenshin sighed, slipping through the shadows. This was ridiculous. Any other time, the Shinsengumi would have been upon him. Now that he _wanted _to face them, they weren't there? He'd walked all of their normal routes, but they were nowhere to be seen. 

Already, his nerves were wearing thin. He wasn't sure how much more of this he could take. But if he let his frustrations take reign, then he would lose his focus, condemn himself to death. This was no time to panic.

And so he kept moving through the streets, searching for the one man who could either save or destroy him. The cold air made him shiver a little, and his shoulder ached worse than ever. But he was relatively certain he could use it, at least for awhile. It was finally healing. As long as he didn't push himself too far in this fight, he might even be able to continue using it in Meiji.

He smiled dryly and dropped that train of thought. He didn't want to push his luck...

The redhead turned another corner. Ducked into another shadow. It was a graceful dance. Like part of an elaborate show. In the first act, he smoothly slid in and out of the shadows. Then came the action. The kill. And finally clean up... either his own blood, or his victim's. It was sick. He suddenly realized why he had no interest in seeing any shows when Kaoru-dono asked.

Kenshin stopped in the shadows of an inn near the city's outskirts for a moment. _Kaoru-dono_. He needed to focus his thoughts on something else. _Anything _else. Because if he was trying to match thoughts with his younger self, then Kaoru-dono would have to be the last thing on his mind. Battousai would not be thinking about her...

He sighed. He'd thought the most difficult part would be putting on the wakizashi. Obviously he'd been mistaken...

Her face was firmly etched into his mind. He was doing this for her. Returning for her. If it weren't for Kaoru-dono, he would have nothing to go home to. How could he free his mind of her?

He wasn't given the chance to dwell on it for long. There was suddenly a strong ki radiating from nearby. Near enough to assume that whoever it was knew that Kenshin was there. The rurouni slipped his hand over the hilt of his blade, carefully checking to be sure it was his sakabatou that he was grabbing.

Who was this? It wasn't the Shinsengumi... that much was certain...

He didn't have to wonder for long. A sleek figure was suddenly in his view. The man wore dark blue and black. His hair was pulled into a short ponytail. His blade wasn't yet drawn, but Kenshin suspected that this was only because the swordsman had studied Battousai, and intended to use battou-jutsu against him.

Kenshin's grip tightened on his sakabatou.

They stood motionless for a long moment, facing each other in silence. Each waiting for the other to make a move.

What was most disconcerting about the man was his eyes. Large and piercing blue. They seemed to stare into Kenshin's very soul.

Another moment of stillness. Then finally there was motion.

It was Uonuma Usui, the anti-assassin, who made the first move.

* * *

_Author's notes: Thanks so much for reading this fiction. And thank you for being patient with my sometimes horribly slow updates (and horribly frustrating cliffies... heh...)_

_wyldcat: Thanks for the great review. I'll work on "Heir to Slytherin" soon. Considering I'm still pretty inspired to write Harry Potter, it shouldn't be hard..._

_dragonspirit4215: (Squeals) Ah! Fanart! Thanks again! I hope you can get your hands on a scanner. I'd love to see what you've come up with. Wicked cool! Thanks! (Squeals again)_

_Lily of the Shadow: Yup... finally nearing the end. But fear not... if you like the time travel, I still have "In Due Time" and a couple of other random time travel Kenshin fics in the works. If you like the characters, I have at least one (if not more) with Ushiro coming... And if anyone just wants me to keep writing (sweatdrops), my next fiction will be the Saito fic (as promised... no, I didn't forget!), called "A Wolf in Officer's Clothing" (although I request a month to work on it before anyone expects the first chapter of that posted... what I have posted now is just a teaser...)_

_Mir: Thanks for the nice review. I hope you like how the story ends, when you get a chance to read the rest!_

_Omasuoniwabanshi: I made your eyes tear up? Awwww... I didn't expect to manage that!_

_A lilmatchgirl: Action junkie, huh? Then you'll be happy to note that fighting starts next chapter..._

_Nemesis Jedi: I've never read "Our Hikos." I'll have to check that out. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm always looking for good Hiko fics. He's one of my favorite characters, so I try to slip him into any stories that I realistically can... so expect a lot of him in my writing!_

_Ryu sakuma: Thanks for the review. Was this update soon enough? Hehe..._

_Chibi cheesecake: I hope this scene worked for you. And thank you so much for the kind words!_

_Jodibetz: Yes, I remember you, and I'm glad you like how the scene is turning out. I hope this chapter continued to please..._

_Jane Drew: Heh... thank you. Thanks for giving me the credit that I would realize just how far their memories can go... A whap on the head, huh? Not impossible... not even improbable... And I loved the comment "Your pretty, pretty hair..." Hehehe... Anyway, thanks for the great comments. I was happy to see your review!_

_Lolo popoki: As always, thanks for beta-ing my story. It helps me so much to have someone read before I post._

_FrostPhoenix: Thanks also for your beta work. Your assessments (as always) also helped me greatly in getting this chapter ready for posting... Just one comment to you... POST MORE! I know you've written more. I beta-ed it. Please post it! Hehehe... Thanks!_

_Me: There you go. Another chapter before school starts. When DOES your school start...? Maybe I can manage to write another chapter by then..._

_skenshingumi: Oh, thank you so much for the detailed reviews! I loved them! I hope you were surprised in a good way in chapter 24. And I'm glad the interactions and characters seem to be working out. They can be difficult sometimes... especially the original characters (like Ushiro and Nozomi) although those sometimes have the most potential for fun... hehehe..._

_To all other reviewers... as always, I want to thank you for reading and reviewing my story. I'm sorry I can't reply to everyone, but if I did every time, I'd never get chapters written (sweatdrops). I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks again!_

_Dewa mata!_


	26. Faceoff

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 26: Faceoff**_

_1878_

The sun had completely set by the time Battousai had slipped through Kyoto and was approaching the bridges. His mind was a mess. He knew that he needed to be focusing on his battle with Saito, but he couldn't get Kaoru, or the worry in her eyes, out of his mind. She really cared about him. About his welfare.

He sighed, knowing that she would be angry when she found out what he'd done. That he'd left her to go and fight Saito again. But he refused to risk the innocent lives of the people at the Aoi-ya. Even those he'd hardly met. Those he didn't know. If he allowed Saito to come and face him there, it could easily become a bloodbath.

And Kaoru... what if she jumped in the way again? Could he protect her a second time? He couldn't bear the thought of her dying as Tomoe had... at the end of a blade meant for him.

No. This was better. She'd be safer there. He only hoped that she wouldn't follow him...

He forced her from his mind. No. He needed to be focused right now. The bridges were in sight, and if he lost his concentration, he could wind up dead. That would be unacceptable, dying by the sword. He had a promise to keep. _More than one promise, actually... _he thought, thinking back to his plea that Kaoru wait for him.

His concerns were forcefully buried in his mind at the sight of the man casually leaning against the railing of the bridge as though nothing were wrong. He turned as Battousai approached. Time may have outwardly changed Saito, but the wolf's eyes still burned as clearly as they had over ten years ago. This man was as much a wolf as ever.

The redhead tensed a bit. He would be a fool to take Saito lightly, even if he _was_ starting to get old...

"So you decided to come after all," Saito said smoothly. There was a cigarette hanging from his lips.

Battousai stared at it for a moment, noting the way Saito spoke easily around it. Clearly the wolf had taken to smoking a lot. He handled it like it was a part of him. Battousai found himself wondering why. A stupid thought perhaps, but that little vice suddenly gave Saito a human edge that the youth had never been able to see before. And an uncomfortable thought finally managed to force its way into his mind.

_He's just a man. Nothing more than flesh and blood. Saito Hajime is no wolf. No more a demon than I am. He's just a person, and if I kill him, he'll be dead. Another body to bury. Another taint on my soul._

His mask must have slipped slightly as those thoughts ran through his mind, because Saito suddenly pulled the cigarette from his mouth, his eyes narrowing. "You've been here too long, Battousai. You're letting yourself get soft. I'm afraid that isn't acceptable."

The boy didn't answer.

The tall, lean man took a step forward, flinging the cigarette into the shadows. A faint breeze ruffled their hair, but other than that, there was no sound. No motion other than the wolf's slow approach. A few more steps, and Battousai would be forced to act, either defend or attack. But Saito stopped a hair before that was necessary. "So, Battousai. Shall we finish this?" He drew his sword and slipped into the Gatotsu stance.

Battousai still didn't move. "Just tell me one thing," the boy said softly. "Why are we fighting? We fought for a cause back then. We were alike in that way. I refuse to think you've changed so much. So, what have I done? Do I still oppose you in Meiji? Do I fight against the government? Have I done something to you personally?" His eyes darkened. _"Why?_"

Saito sneered. _"Why?_ You have to ask me _why? _When have you ever needed a _reason_?" He snorted. "I'll put this in terms that you can understand. I'm trying to _protect_ someone. You are a threat to his existence. So I'm eliminating you. Is that enough of an explanation for you?"

"I'm not here to assassinate anyone," the boy replied.

The wolf's smile was cold and deadly. "It doesn't matter if that's why you came. If you remain here, that's exactly what's going to happen. Now..." His fingers slid across the blade, its sharpened edge gleaming in the pale moonlight. "As I said before... let's finish this."

This time Battousai didn't argue, simply bowing his head, and preparing for battle.

* * *

Kaoru was sitting in the garden, watching the setting sun when Sano returned to the Aoi-ya. Seeing her sitting there alone took him by surprise, and the fighter stopped a moment to look at her. He'd expected her to be inside with Battousai. What was going on? What had he missed during his conversation with Saito, and the long, thoughtful walk that had followed? 

After watching her for awhile, he finally approached. "Jou-chan?"

She turned. "Sanosuke?"

He looked around again. "What're you doing out here alone, Jou-chan? How's Kenshin?"

At that she blushed a little.

_Weird,_ he thought. Why was it that something didn't feel quite right?

"He's awake," she said softly.

"He's up?" Sano exclaimed. He started for the Aoi-ya. "Since when? Is he okay? Where is he? I gotta talk to him."

"You can't!" Kaoru called, jumping up and hurrying after him.

Sano hesitated and looked back at her, trying not to let the urgency show on his face. "I'm not gonna hurt him. I just have something to tell him. It's important. About Saito."

At those words, the girl's blue eyes widened, and she took a step back. "Saito...?" she asked, her voice faltering a bit. "What about Saito?"

He turned away. "Don't worry about it, Jou-chan. It's nothin'. I just need to talk to Kenshin."

Before he knew what she was doing, she'd closed the distance between them, and was clutching his sleeve. "Sanosuke, please. What about Saito?"

Sano winced, trying to look away. He hated when she looked at him like that. It was so hard to tell her no. "It's better if you don't know, Jou-chan. Let me just go to the Aoi-ya to talk with him."

"But he's not there!"

Her outburst finally broke cleanly into his mind. "He's... What? He's what? Where...?"

She shook her head, still clutching his sleeve. The worry in her eyes was now overwhelmed by fear. Understanding was dawning, and it wasn't a pretty sight. Sano only wished he knew what she did.

He took her by the shoulders and shook her a little. "Where is he, Kaoru? What happened?"

"He left a little while ago. Someone left a note for him, and he just left after he read it. He said he'd be back soon and that was it."

"_Damn,"_ Sano swore. _What the hell was he thinking? Where the hell would that baka have gone?_ Sano didn't like to think that his friend would have been stupid enough to take up a challenge in his condition. Especially from Saito. Then again, Kenshin had an irritating habit of saving everyone else before he worried about a little thing like his own life. And if Saito _had_ left him a note... That wolf wasn't stupid. If he wanted Battousai to come, he wouldn't have pulled any stops. _"Damn that baka!" _he swore again. "He's gonna fight again!"

"What!"

Sano blinked in surprise at Kaoru. He'd almost forgot he was holding her in front of him. He finally let go, his arms dropping to his side. He groaned, closing his eyes a moment. "Saito... he wants to face Kenshin again. I never dreamed he'd send word so soon. He must have sent Kenshin that note as soon as I left. _"Damn!_ If I would have come straight here, I'd have been able to stop him. This is my fault. If he dies, it'll be my fault..."

He didn't get a chance to finish the thought as something suddenly cracked him across the head. "_Ow! _What the _hell_!" he shouted, his eyes snapping open.

Kaoru was standing in front of him with her bokken out. "'What if' isn't going to save him, Sanosuke. The longer you stand here crying about it, the less likely it is he'll get out of there alive."

"_I'm not crying!"_ he shouted.

"You _will_ be if you don't shape up," she replied, glaring back at him. "Now, do you know where they might be?"

"Probably near the bridges outside of town. But..." He blinked in surprise as something finally occurred to him. "Hey, you're acting like yourself again. Did something happen while I was gone?"

Kaoru looked at him for a moment, then finally responded, "He came back to me."

Before Sano even had a chance to reply, she was off running, and he was forced to follow.

* * *

_1865_

Usui's blade missed Kenshin by barely an inch. Only the rurouni's amazing speed saved him. But the anti-assassin was also fast, and by the time Kenshin's blade was out and ready, Usui had already rounded on him again.

Kenshin grunted as he blocked the blow, gritting his teeth against the pain in his shoulder. At least it was holding up for now. But for how long?

Probably not as long as he'd need. Certainly not as long as he'd like... Again, the redhead evaded, this time throwing in a counterattack, hitting the man squarely in the back.

Such a hit should have at least slowed him down, but his opponent was like a crazed man, blindly ignoring the pain and shock to fulfill his one goal. Destroy.

Kenshin's brow furrowed as he tried to focus his concentration. It was hard to read this man's ki. There was a lot of focused aggression, but none of it useful. Nothing that he could use to predict Usui's moves. It was almost as though Usui's focus... his _drive_ and obsessive desire to win was blinding Kenshin to his attacks. It was no wonder he was such a successful anti-assassin.

The tall man attacked with another thrust, and Kenshin again successfully blocked the blow, following up with a sideswipe that deflected Usui's katana. The deflected blade tapped Kenshin's injured shoulder.

The pain was incredible. His healing shoulder was still far too stiff to move in such a way, and the added wound, shallow though it was, only intensified the agony. The sakabatou nearly dropped from his hand, and he was forced to draw back for a moment to pull himself together.

_Think past the pain... Just ignore it. You've done it before. You can do it again._

He looked up to see the other man smirking.

"So, Battousai, tell me... How does it feel to know you're going to die?"

"Don't bury me yet," Kenshin growled through gritted teeth, his deep blue eyes flashing.

Usui just laughed. "Of course not." His grin spread, as he moved into a forward thrust.

For a moment, Kenshin was confused. This was the same move that had failed earlier. Why repeat it? He understood a moment later, when once again, Usui's blade touched his shoulder. Only this time, the anti-assassin threw all of his force behind his deflected blow, cutting through the remaining bandages and into the flesh.

This time Kenshin did drop the sword, his arm weakened greatly by the blow. Drops of crimson blood dotted the snow beneath him. He dropped to one knee, clutching his shoulder. His fingers brushing the slushy red snow, inches from his sword. But it may as well have been a mile...

_I can't die here..._ The thought was strong within his mind and he forced himself to his feet. But this time he would not be pulling the Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki out as an attack. And only the thought would not be enough to save him.

"Goodbye, Battousai."

_I'm not going to die at your hand! _Kenshin's bloodied left hand dropped to his hip. Slowly he flexed the fingers of his right. They still moved. He could feel them. That was good. Maybe he hadn't lost yet...

Usui's movements were quick and fluid. He was almost a part of the shadows, his glinting blade and his bright eyes the only things gleaming in the pale moonlight.

The bladewas almost a blur. Another moment and it would be over.

The sword cut into Kenshin's arm just as he turned out of the way. The cut was shallow, and Usui's sideswipe was cut short by a hard blow to the side of his head.

The man staggered back, trying to regain his focus. Trying to figure out what had just happened.

Kenshin stood panting a short distance away, Shards of the sake jug littering the ground around him. A few of the smaller shards still in Usui's flesh. The redhead dropped what remained of his shishou's unexpectedly useful gift.

Usui spat some blood into the snow. "Aren't you full of surprises?" he growled, a dangerous light in his eyes.

"Almost as many surprises as I have," came a smooth voice from the shadows.

The anti-assassin turned just in time to block the katana slicing toward him.

Usui sneered. "Here to save your comrade?" he growled at the intruder. "Or is it that you just couldn't wait your turn to die?"

Shishio's eyes never left Usui's face, his expression cold and deadly. "Take a good look. I am Death. And I'm gong to be the _last_ thing you see." Only then did his eyes flick briefly to Kenshin, who was now standing, blade in hand.

"Shishio..."

The assassin nodded shortly at him. "I'll take this one. You're going to have trouble of your own to deal with shortly enough. I was followed..."

Shishio didn't finish. Usui finally got his bearings back and rounded on the intruder, his true target. But Kenshin didn't need to hear Shishio's warning to know who he'd be facing.

This ki was strong and clear.

Slowly, Kenshin turned, his eyes focusing on the amber-eyed figure in the shadows.

Saito.

* * *

_Author's Note: Thanks so much for reading. I'm sorry this chapter's short, but I'm nearing the end, and I have to let the chapters have their way. This one felt right. Perhaps the next will be longer. Either way, I hope you enjoyed this. Thanks so much for reading. Please review..._

_And speaking of reviewers..._

_swirly: Thanks for all of the great reviews. I'm not sure how many more chapters, but this story is very near the end now. Probably three or four more would be my guess... And actually, I do like Souji... Did I come off as disliking him?_

_Conspirator: Thanks for the review! I'm glad you're liking the story!_

_Skenshingumi: Hehe... Usui seems to have taken a lot of readers by surprise. And I was afraid that everyone had already figured out that he was coming! I'm glad you liked the chapter! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well._

_Windborn: Nice guess about Shishio! And thanks so much for the high praise!_

_Me: Will Battousai and Rurouni get to see each other...? Hmmm..._

_kimberlyann: I don't actually recall what Okon calls Kenshin. I remember seeing Omasu speak with him as well as the varying ways Okina addressed him... and of course Aoshi and Misao. So, I figured, I'd just pick something for Okon. I hope it worked!_

_Lady Battousai: Thanks for the lovely long review!_

_Jane Drew: Glad you liked the chapter. And your chocolates must have helped. This chapter was much quicker to write than expected. Especially when it contained a fight... but next chapter... (goes swirly eyed) Oro... more fighting...!_

_sueb262: I'm a bastard again, huh? (laughs) I'm sure this chapter didn't help my situation either, did it?_

_Myks: I think that is officially the first time I had an assassin sent after me because of a cliffhanger. (grins)_

_Lily of the Shadow: Oh! Thanks for writing "dewa mata" for me in hiragana for me! Wicked cool!_

_Nemesis Jedi: Oro! Now I have lots of fics to read! Thank you so much!_

_Wyldcat: This is the very same "Usui, the Blind Sword" of the Juppengatana. Thanks for asking!_

_Dragonspirit4215: Hey if you do draw that scene, I'd love to see it, too! (laughs) I feel like I'm begging for art. But I'd love to see your depictions. Thanks so much for the great review. I'm glad you liked last chapter so much!_

_Lolo popoki: Thanks again for the beta work on this chapter. I think I fixed all the oopsies. And I can't wait until you update, too (hint, hint). The second to last chapter of this fiction is coming up soon... and you know what THAT means... hehehe..._

_To all other reviewers: Thanks so much for your support and your reviews! Please enjoy this chapter!_

_Dewa mata!_


	27. The Tide Turns

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 27: The Tide Turns**_

_1878_

The light of the half-risen moon was dim, obscured by the wispy clouds that were slowly gliding through the night sky. Even so, it was enough. Their blades gleamed in the dim light, and their eyes seemed to glow. The surrounding area was silent. No animals made a sound. Even the wind seemed to be holding its breath. The ki from these two was a more imposing force than had been felt here in over a decade. It was not natural, and even those who didn't understand, knew that they should keep out of the way.

The clouds shifted, and the moon suddenly shone down brightly on the two solitary figures. Two fragile beings carefully and fruitlessly disguised as a wolf and a demon.

Saito was frozen in the Gatotsu stance, staring down Battousai who stood ready to react at any moment. A faint smile twitched the wolf's lips. "Goodbye, Battousai."

The boy's expression didn't change as his narrowed eyes studied the man before him. Waiting to sense his coming move and properly react.

The wait wasn't long. Saito attacked.

Battousai drew his blade and blocked Saito's thrust easily. His own sword sliced through the air effortlessly, scraping against the other katana, and continuing on its path, cutting through material, and a little bit of skin.

They were back to back. Saito's expression hadn't changed, and he ignored the slow bleeding from his shoulder. It was a scratch. He wasn't going to lose his edge over a little blood.

Again, he turned to see the boy already in motion. Saito blocked, thrusted. His blade almost cut the boy. Almost made it past Battousai's unnaturally fast katana. He thrust again, as soon as the boy's blade grazed past him, cutting a little more material, a little more skin on the wolf's opposite shoulder.

Saito only managed to remove a few flame colored strands of the boy's hair. He gritted his teeth. This was ridiculous. Battousai was flitting around like a butterfly. Here.There.And the moment before the wolf could pounce, he was gone, in motion again. The wolf was ready to draw any blood now, just to make a hit.

His expression was serious. His eyes remained cold. He would win this. There was no option. The odds were against him, but he couldn't allow this child to live in Meiji. He was too dangerous at a time like this. Saito's eyes narrowed. And anyway, it was true that he wanted to face Battousai one last time, but not like this. He was finally forced to admit to himself the fact that it was the older man he wanted to face. He wanted to defeat the man who had lived through the changing era.

There would be no real point in defeating this boy, except to show that even at thirty-five, this wolf was still deadly. But that wasn't the point. It never had been. He needed to fight the older Battousai, because he needed to prove to himself that Meiji _hadn't_ destroyed everyone he'd known. Needed to know that _Battousai_ at least had remained the man from his memory.

Determination hardened his features. That was why he had to win now. Because if this boy didn't go home. If that man died in the past, Saito would never know.

And that was unacceptable.

The redhead stood a distance away, his katana sheathed, ready for a quick attack. His hand was already reaching across for the blade.

The wolf's eyes focused on the boy's sword arm. The slightly awkward angle at which it was held. And the very faint tremor of the hand that brushed the katana's hilt.

Perhaps there was a chance after all...

* * *

_1865_

Kenshin sent one last wary look toward Shishio, but the hitokiri was easily holding his own against Usui. Kenshin knew how that would end. Shishio would not need his help. The redhead turned his focus back to his own target, third unit leader, Saito Hajime.

Kenshin's brow furrowed. "Where is your unit?"

His question almost seemed to take the wolf by surprise. He was unused to words before battle. Saito hesitated a moment, before replying softly, "They are elsewhere. This is between you and I. There was no reason to let them interfere." He slid his blade out of its sheath, and prepared to fight. "Shall we finish this?"

The redhead nodded shortly, preparing his own blade. At least this would be an honorable duel. However, it wasn't under the best of circumstances. He was injured badly. His sword arm felt weak and shaky. His grip firm, but not strong. Also, they were still a short distance away from the river, and Kenshin wasn't sure if the bridge itself would be necessary for the switch. Was there a way he could draw Saito in that direction...?

He wasn't able to think on it as Saito moved, forcing Kenshin to react. The redhead drew the sakabatou, managing to block the wolf's powerful attack. He allowed himself to stay in motion a bit longer than necessary, drawing them away from Shishio and Usui, and toward the bridges.

Saito struck again, andonce more Kenshin was on the defensive, blocking the blow, again retreating a short distance, moving them closer to the river, but never actually directing an attack toward his opponent.

The wolf scowled. "Are you afraid to attack me?" He snorted. "I knew you weren't the true Battousai. _He _wouldn't run. He'd fight and, if need be, die honorably."

_He's right... _Kenshin's grip tightened on his sheathed sakabatou. _If I'm going to try to become Battousai again, even for this short time, I can't remain only on defensive. _He swallowed hard, but now that he made his decision, his expression was firm. _I have my sakabatou. I won't kill him. But if I don't attack, I may never go home... _

This thought was enough to pull himself together. This time he met Saito's Gatotsu with a sideswipe of his own, grazing the unit leader's arm. Before Saito could properly react, Kenshin was in the air.

"_Ryu Tsui Sen!"_

The wolf had been expecting this, and leapt backwards, blade out and on the defensive. He barely missed being hit, and followed it up with his own left handed thrust. Kenshin turned out of the way, but not quickly enough. The wound on his side was shallow, and the redhead paid it no mind, attacking again.

Saito evaded. "You're slow." His own blade barely missed catching Kenshin in the chest. The redhead turned at the last second, receiving a deep, but less deadly wound to his side.

He stopped briefly, catching his breath and steadying himself. His breathing was ragged, and he felt a little dizzy from loss of blood. He hadn't realized the extent of his injuries until that moment. This was going to have to end soon.

Saito watched the redhead cautiously, prepared for anything.

They were near the bridge by now. So close that the swiftly moving river was clearly audible to both men, drowning out the distant sounds of Shishio and Usui's own fight.

The bridge was the last thing on the redhead's mind, however. The loss of blood was getting to him. Or perhaps it was seeing it around him in the snow. Memories were flooding back, distressing his mind and blinding him to the present. When he looked back up at Saito through his loose flame-colored hair, the wolf got a glimpse of amber in his opponent's eyes. The eyes of a hitokiri.

Finally.

The wolf smiled. _Now we're getting somewhere..._

* * *

_1878_

Kaoru and Sano raced through the streets, determined to find Battousai before he got himself killed. Worry reflected in their eyes for a boy they had never really known, but had both grown to care about.

Kaoru was breathing hard. She glanced at Sano who was only a short distance ahead of her. "Are you sure he'll be at the bridges?" she called without slowing down.

Sano nodded. "Trust me. If Saito was the one who gave him that message, then he's going to want to face Kenshin by the river."

"Is Saito trying to send him back?"

The fighter skidded to a stop so abruptly that Kaoru ran into him and almost dumped both of them onto the street. "What did you say?"

Kaoru shook her head, picking herself up and starting to move away. "We don't have time for this, Sano! We have to go."

He ignored her words, grabbing hold of her arm in a vice grip. "Jou-chan, what did you just say?" He stared at her incredulously. "Are you trying to tell me you _know_ about him? You know what happened?"

"Of course!"

He shook his head. "_How?_"

"He told me," she snapped, pulling from his grip. Her glare was fierce. "But that doesn't matter now. We need to get to him. He's already been hurt enough. I don't want to see him in more pain."

"Jou-chan...'

She looked up at him. Her eyes reflecting his own worry. "He's been through a lot, Sano. And as much as I want _our_ Kenshin back, and everything put right, I'm not willing to risk him getting hurt any worse by Saito."

Sano hesitated, staring at the girl's fierce protective glare. "But what if this is his only way home? I mean... I don't like it either. I'd rather just dump Battousai in the river and see what happens, but what if this is it? We can protect him now... but they're probably gonna have to fight eventually."

Kaoru shook her head. "I can't let anyone hurt him, Sano. Don't you understand? If I stand back and let this happen to him, I might lose him forever, even if he does return."

Sanosuke just stared at her, confused. "You aren't making any sense..."

"You said it yourself. I need to let him _know_ that I accept his past. All parts of his past. If I turn my back on him now just to get my rurouni back, then I don't deserve him." She stubbornly brushed frustrated tears away. "So, do what you want, Sanosuke, but I'm going to do what I can!" With those words she was running again.

Sano followed close after her, not quite sure what she was getting at. But it didn't matter. All that mattered now was making sure that his friend came out of this okay. It was _his_ fault that Kenshin was in this mess. Sano sure as hell was going to get him out of it...

_Just hang in there, Kenshin,_ he thought. _Both of you... hang on. We're coming..._

_

* * *

_

_1865_

Ushiro sped through the shadows on his own hunt. He'd been searching everywhere for almost half an hour with no luck.

_Where could that baka be?_

It didn't help that Ushiro had never thought to ask Kenshin what had happened to bring him here. How he meant to go home. And it certainly didn't help that Ushiro didn't know how this older version of his friend would think...

_Or did he? This older Kenshin wasn't all that different than the boy he knew, once you got past all of the masks and the hiding. Where would _Battousai_ have gone? _He stopped and thought for a moment. _The boy was logical. He'd have headed straight for the place this had begun. Looked for clues there. So where..._?

It struck Ushiro all at once and he was in motion again, running toward the edge of Kyoto. Kenshin had been missing for an entire day when he'd found Ushiro that night. He'd turned up again near the outskirts of the city during the fight with Okita and Saito. That _had_ to have been when they'd switched...

He ran hard, knowing that even at his speed, he might not make it in time if Kenshin wound up against the Shinsengumi.

Sweat glistened on his skin, chilling him in the cool air. His legs ached. His wounds burned. But he was oblivious to all of that. His focus was centered on his friend.

_After all you've been through, you deserve to live in peace. I'm not going to let you die. Not here... And definitely not now..._

_

* * *

_

_1878_

Battousai almost didn't see Saito's Gatotsu coming, the wolf was moving so quickly, despite his wounds. The boy's eyes managed to follow his movements. The angle was off slightly. Saito wasn't going for a death blow.

_What was he doing?_

Battousai readied himself to block the blow, when out of nowhere the older man changed his move, throwing the boy off. Battousai's eyes widened, as the wolf turned his thrust into a slash, cutting upward across the boy's body, the blade ending up slicing deeply into the wound already in his shoulder. Saito twisted the blade a little, enough to weaken the arm, but not quite far enough to cause permanent damage...

At least, Saito hoped not. With this boy, one could never tell...

His blade slid back out of Battousai's flesh, glistening red with his blood, as the wolf staggered backwards two or three steps, a deep wound in his own leg from the boy's rapid response to his attack. Blood flowed freely. Blocking the pain, he held one hand to the wound, critically watching the boy in front of him.

Battousai was wounded worse. He stood at the edge of the river, swaying slightly. He was breathing hard, his left hand clutching the torn skin of his shoulder. He was slumped forward slightly. His eyes wide.

He blinked once. Twice. Shook his head to clear his mind. And the edge was back in his eyes. He was ready. And nothing would stop him now.

_

* * *

_

_1865_

Kenshin's movements were faster now, more sure. He hadn't completely let the hitokiri take over, but he could feel it close to the surface. If nothing else, Kenshin suspected that this was what was giving him the strength to fight again. He didn't know how long it would last, but he hoped he would only need to fight a few moments more. Just long enough to get onto the bridge. Just long enough to get home.

_It has to work,_ he thought desperately, dodging the Gatotsu once again. _It _has_ to..._

His blade silently sliced through the moonlight, causing great rifts of light when it gleamed. He managed a hit on Saito, directly across the chest. It briefly winded the third unit leader.

Kenshin hesitated, momentarily startled by the lack of blood, then horrified that he'd expected it. The redhead pulled back, trying to focus his mind again. _I can't let myself slip that far..._

He re-sheathed his sword, readying himself for another counter attack. His hand felt for the hilt, slipped over that of his sakabatou, and continued for the wakizashi. His fingers had just gripped it when he realized what he was doing, and let his hand drop, releasing the sword as though he'd been burned.

He barely managed to pull his mind from the brink again. But it was getting harder with each attack. He was walking the edge, unwilling to fall in.

His expression hardened. But how far would he have to go?

Saito had attacked again. Kenshin didn't notice until it was almost too late, barely pulling his sword up early enough to block a death blow. The river was right behind him now. His foot actually slid a little on the slippery bank.

That brief distraction was all it took. Saito thrust his blade forward while Kenshin was trying to regain his balance. The blow from his katana was forceful enough to make Kenshin lose his footing.

Before he could react, he'd fallen backwards into the river. The cold water covered his head, blinding him to the wolf above him. In his surprise, he gasped and inhaled water. Kenshin struggled to make it to the surface, but his weakened right arm wouldn't cooperate in the frigid water, and he only sank.

This was it.

It was over... and he'd lost...

_Kaoru..._

It was Kenshin's last thought before everything went black.

_

* * *

_

_1878_

"_Kenshin!"_

The scream came out of nowhere.

Batttousai turned to see Kaoru running toward him. Sano was close behind. _What are they doing here?_ The boy's heart skipped a beat. _They're going to get themselves killed. I can't protect them like this. It's going to be just like Otsu!_

"_Jou-chan!_"

She ignored Sano's desperate voice and kept running.

Saito hadn't turned at the sound of the boy's name. Kaoru's voice drawing Battousai's attention was all the distraction he needed. Without hesitation, he charged, ignoring the burning of his wounds. The aching muscles.

The boy turned a moment too late. His sword was only half raised when Saito caught him, throwing the wounded boy into the river. Just as he had done thirteen years ago.

Kaoru screamed. And it sounded as though Sano had shouted his name. But the water was over Battousai's head now, and he couldn't find the energy to pull himself out. The river was muffling everything, even as it numbed his limbs.

_I'm sorry..._

He felt himself sinking... Felt the cold water entering his throat.

_I'm sorry... I won't see you again in Meiji after all..._

_Kaoru...

* * *

_

_Author's Note:_

_Special news! "Out of Time" has officially been nominated for best drama in the RKRC (Rurouni Kenshin Reader's Choice Awards)! (Squeals!) I'm so excited! Thanks whoever nominated me! You can find the awards at www(dot)Meijitales(dot)com! Please check it out! There are so many great entries!_

_Hey! This month is my one-year anniversary of experiencing the Kenshin universe. I'm sure no one cares but me (winks), but I just realized it today. It was August last year that I first started buying the manga!_

_Heh... anyway, onto the reviewers... (more interesting than my pathetic anniversary, anyway! Hehe...)_

_lolo popoki: Thanks again for beta-ing and pointing out the oopsies! And you're darn right I'm gonna hold you to that... And it's coming up soon... hehe..._

_Nemesis Jedi: Thanks again for the reading suggestions. Oh, and in response to your question about "A Time for Every Purpose" in the haiku collection reviews, the filler story isn't titled yet, that's why I haven't listed much about it. Let's just say, it goes with Seisouhen, and involves Kenshin saying his final goodbyes post-mortem with a little help from Kenji..._

_Kanashii.Umi: To put pics on the homepage, you need to be signed up for Fanfiction(dot)net's special optional features... It costs like 5 dollars a month, and you get access to stuff like that. I'm glad you like the fiction. It always makes me happy to hear things like that! I have written a haiku about Katsu in the "Ruroken Haiku Collection," but nothing else... I may consider that, though. It'll be a ways down the line, however... I have a LOT on the back burner._

_Musicsage: You weren't bothering me. And I agree with what you say... Battousai and Rurouni are the same people with different mindsets. That's all. I actually obsessed about that once, and wound up writing "The Mind of a Killer" because of it..._

_Lily of the Shadow: Yes, it's getting very near the end now. And thanks for the kana! But what does it say?_

_AnyaRei: Yes, Usui is the blind guy from the Juppengatana. The one whom Shishio blinded during bakumatsu..._

_sueb262: I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the wonderful review! I was very flattered!_

_xdarkwingx: oh...! A new reviewer! Thanks for the review! I was really happy to hear that you liked the story, especially the characters whom I obsess over (I don't deny it!)_

_Mir: Glad to see you back! And I'm glad you had a safe trip!_

_Firalyn Tiatra: Yes, Usui is the blind guy. And I'm glad you're enjoying the fiction!_

_To all Reviewers: Thanks again for reading and reviewing. I'm sorry I can't respond to you all, but I hope you understand how much your reviews mean to me!_

_Thanks, and keep your eyes open for the next chapter!_

_Dewa mata!_


	28. Crossroads

**Out of Time**

**_Chapter 28: Crossroads_**

Darkness. It was the first thing Battousai was aware of. Either he was dead, or he hadn't opened his eyes yet. He was still too groggy to be completely certain. He forced his sluggish eyes open, only to immediately shut them again.

_Okay... so he wasn't dead... you couldn't blind yourself when you were dead, could you?_

The brightness around him had been almost overwhelming. Slowly, he opened his eyes again, this time shading them as he rose to his knees. He then tested his feet, uncertain as to whether or not his injuries would allow him to stand. Surprisingly, he found the energy to move.

Then another strange thought occurred to him. _I'm not in pain anymore..._

He looked down at his body, expecting to see his nearly shredded gi and hakama covered in his own blood.

But instead he looked as though he hadn't been fighting at all.

"This isn't possible..." he whispered, again looking around him, this time focusing on more than just the brightness.

A strange chill came over him. There was nothing. Nothing but light everywhere. No buildings, no river... no Kyoto... Just... light...

His eyes widened a fraction as a slow panic began to fill him. "What is this?" he whispered.

"It is the bridge between life and death," came a quiet voice from behind the boy. Battousai spun around, startled. There had been no approaching ki... nothing... And what had the voice said...? _Death?_ Am_ I dead, then...?_

He searched for the source of the voice, finally noticing a figure approaching. A tall man with long black hair. It was the first time Battousai had _ever_ seen him without a sword. He was smiling.

The redhead shook his head, confused. "Ushiro-san?"

The man nodded, his familiar grin widening. "It's been awhile, Kenshin."

The boy shook his head. "Only a couple of days..." He looked around desperately. "Where are we, Ushiro-san? Where is Katsura-san? Is he alright?" He was so worried that he ignored Ushiro's familiar use of his name.

His concern caused the other man to laugh. "It's just like you to be worried about everyone else when _you're_ the one whose life was in danger."

The boy was silent a moment, letting the words sink in. "I'm dead then," he said in a resigned voice. "Or dying." Before the other man could respond, another thought seemed to strike Battousai, and his wide blue eyes suddenly met the older man's. "But... wait... Ushiro-san... _you're_ not... _you_ can't be dead. When I left you..." He suddenly looked like a lost child.

Ushiro held up his hand, trying to quiet the worried boy, Battousai's concern causing his warm smile for the youth to spread. "In this place, time is irrelevant. I don't need to be dead in your time. I will be dead eventually. That is why I can be here. That's all you really need to know. I am here as I was last time... to guide you back to life."

"Last time...?"

"This isn't the first time you've been here, Kenshin, whether or not you remember. You came through once before, when you stumbled onto the wrong path." This time he grinned a little mischievously. "Maybe this time you'll actually listen to me when I guide you."

The youth closed his eyes, trying to take all of this in. "So, I'm not dead... and you're going to guide me back to life?" He shook his head, and opened his eyes, frustration gleaming in them, along with a touch of bitterness. "Why?" he asked. "Why bother? It's better this way."

The smile faded from the other man's face. "Better to be dead? Kenshin..." Ushiro's eyes were clouded with pain. "How can you say that? There are people who care about you. You _know_ that." He took a few steps toward the frustrated boy. "Kenshin... do you think I'd be here to help you, if I didn't care? Everyone does not get a guide. But I didn't want you to face this alone. You don't have to carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders. There are those of us who would help you, if you'd let us. You don't have to be alone... even in this place..."

Battousai sighed. "I don't deserve this. Look at what I've done." His eyes flared, but even in the heat of passion, they remained a dark blue, no hint of amber glowing within them. "Look at the lives I've taken! I'm a monster, just as they say. A demon." His voice dropped a little. "All I do is destroy those who would help me. Hurt those who care..."

There was a long silence before Ushiro finally replied. "You know... she's forgiven you..."

Battousai's head snapped up. "How did you—?"

Ushiro didn't let him finish. "She forgave you when it happened. She's never held that against you. _You're _the one who needs to forgive yourself. The only thing you're destroying now is your own chance at _life_. And the only way you're hurting the people you care about is by making us watch you torture yourself."

"Ushiro-san... I can't..."

The tall swordsman shook his head. "I don't expect you to understand right now. But even though you'll forget this place when you leave... try to remember my words, okay? Try to understand them. Because we're watching you here, and someday I look forward to seeing the man that you're capable of being, when you let him break through all of the walls you've built up."

Battousai said nothing.

Finally, Ushiro cleared his throat to break the awkward silence that had followed his words. "Listen, you need to get out of here." He turned away, pointing toward a dark area where the light wasn't so blinding. "Just walk away from the light. Follow the path to return home."

For the first time, Battousai noticed that he was standing on a road. He stared down the path for what seemed like miles. _Could it really be that easy? _He looked back at Ushiro, and bowed. "Th-thank you, Ushiro-san..." he murmured awkwardly.

Ushiro just nodded as Battousai began walking away. Then, as an afterthought, called after the redhead. "And this time don't stray from the path, Kenshin. All times are not as kind as Meiji. You may not like where you wind up next time..."

Battousai turned to respond to the swordsman, but the man was gone.

Chilled, the youth continued on his path into the cold, dark, painful reality of life.

But now he didn't feel quite so cold and empty as he once had...

* * *

Kenshin blinked once. Twice. 

The brightness of this place hurt his eyes. But where was he? The last he remembered was falling into the river. _Am I dead?_

"Not dead," said a soft voice, pulling the thoughts from his mind. "You still have too much to accomplish. This is merely a crossroad."

Kenshin paled and turned slowly to see a lovely woman smiling at him. "Hello, anata," she said gently.

"Tomoe." His voice sounded so harsh to his ears. He felt as though everything had been torn out of him, leaving him old and faded. And here she stood before him as beautiful as ever.

She stepped toward him and reached up, brushing her fingers gently against his scar. "Will you never let this heal?"

He closed his eyes and caught her hand in his, pressing her palm against his cheek. She felt warm. It was such a nice feeling, having her here. Holding her again. As though by merely touching his scar, she was easing some of his eternal burden... even if only for the moment.

"Kenshin," she said gently. "You've been hurting enough. Please... don't turn me into another scar on your soul."

"Tomoe..."

"You're being given another chance, anata. Take it. Please. You've earned it."

Kenshin smiled gently, releasing her. His kind eyes opening and staring sadly at her. "How? I am the one who caused the rain to bleed." He paused. Then added quietly, "And the snow."

She tenderly took his face in both her hands. "Blood is not always a bad thing. Blood also helps the heart to beat. You healed my heart." She leaned forward and kissed him gently on the lips. He closed his eyes, smelling the familiar scent of white plums around her.

She finally backed away. "It's alright to love her. Go back to her. This time... just go back to her. Don't stray from the path looking for me..."

When his eyes opened again, she was gone. He could only faintly hear a trace of her voice in the air.

"Follow your heart home..."

* * *

Battousai had been walking the path, uncertain how far he had gone, how far he had left to go, when reached a point where many paths crossed. For a moment he hesitated, uncertain. Ushiro-san had said nothing about a crossroad... _What am I supposed to do now?_

It was then that he felt a strong, familiar ki approach.

He went rigid.

_It couldn't be..._

Slowly, he turned to see a mirror image of himself standing on one of the nearby paths. Battousai stared, unable to formulate words. Just studying the man he was to become.

His older self was staring back, equally stunned. But there was a maturity in the older man's eyes, and he found his words first.

Gently the older Kenshin smiled at Battousai. "I believe this is your path," he said softly, pointing in the direction from which he'd just come. He cleared his throat, and glanced away. "It's going to be a hard journey, that it most certainly is... but don't give up. There's always light at the end of even the darkest roads..."

The boy just nodded awkwardly. "Thank you," he murmured. _How did one respond to himself?_

He bowed briefly and continued down his path. He'd only made it a few feet, when he heard the older man speak once more. "I don't hate you, you know." His voice was so soft and thoughtful.

Battousai froze, listening, but not turning.

"I may regret my choices, but I remember my reasons."

Battousai stood in the middle of the path, his back toward the older man. Finally, very quietly, he replied, "Thank you."

When his counterpart didn't respond, Battousai continued on his way. He noticed the change immediately.

Suddenly the path didn't seem quite so dark, or quite so long. There was an end in sight. Perhaps because he had walked so long...

Or perhaps because finally... he had taken the first step to truly living.

He had begun to forgive himself.

* * *

_Author's note: I hope you liked this chapter. As you can see, the story isn't quite done yet. A little more... Thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I'd love to respond, but I wish to get this chapter out, and I've just returned from a rather long drive, so I don't have the energy. Please forgive me._

_As always, thanks to lolo popoki for beta work on this, and thanks to FrostPhoenix for putting up with having to listen to me read it to her, and whine about what I don't like in it... _

_Thank you all again for reading. Please review. I appreciate it more than you can possibly know._

_Dewa mata!_


	29. Home

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 29: Home**_

_1865_

The room was all shadows when Battousai woke up. He was disoriented at first. The last he remembered, he'd been in the river. Then another unnerving thought struck him. What had he been doing in the river? What had happened? His thoughts were fuzzy and unfocused, and it was frightening him.

Tentatively, he felt around for a familiar ki. Someone... someone was definitely with him, but he was too worn out to figure out who. "Sanosuke?" he mumbled. The name slipped out a second before he realized what he'd said. Before he realized that he couldn't put a face to that name, only a comfortable ki and a warm feeling of familiarity.

"Do I look like a man, Himura-san?" was the matter-of-fact response, tearing him from his thoughts.

The familiarity of the ki. Of his surroundings. Of the _voice_ woke him up. The youth's eyes snapped open, and he tried to sit up, awarded with a sharp pain screaming through his shoulder. He dropped back down on the futon. "Okami..." he murmured. "I..." He half-closed his eyes, battling a headache. "I..."

"You shouldn't have been fighting the Shinsengumi in your condition, that's what."

"Shinsengumi?"

"Yes," Okami snapped, turning around to grab some more bandages.

It was only then that Battousai realized that she'd been treating a wound. _Where had that come from? A gift from the Shinsengumi?_

"I don't remember fighting them..." he replied, frustration creeping into his voice. "Okami..."

She snorted in response, looking for something else on her tray of medicines. "That doesn't surprise me, Himura-san. Fevers can do that to a man. You're lucky that Ushiro-san was near enough to pull you from that river before you either drowned, froze or bled to death. You were halfway in each direction by the time he got you here. Ah!" She finally found the small container she'd been looking for, and carefully opened it, checking its contents.

"Ushiro-san?"

She sighed. "Yes, Himura-san," she replied turning to him, unused to all of the questions. All of the _words_ in fact. "Yes, you were saved by Ushir—" She broke off when she saw the look on the boy's face.

He stared at her in confusion. His blue eyes wide and almost innocent-looking in that moment. Fear written all over them. It wouldn't have been so odd if this were still the boy's more mature counterpart, but she'd decided without a doubt after two days of treating him, that somehow the youth had returned. Hitokiri Battousai was back in her care. What unnerved her now was the fact that the hitokiri's mask had dropped, and for the first time in so long, she recognized the frightened boy who had first entered her inn with Katsura. The child she'd had to reassure and comfort even as he tried to strip himself of his humanity for his cause.

He was that boy again, if only for the moment. Scared, confused and looking to her for help. Perhaps it was only the last remnants of the fever working their magic, but she had to admit, it was a relief to see the boy's spirit reach his eyes once again.

"Okami?"

His tentative voice broke her out of her thoughts and pulled her back into the present. She smiled at him. "You're worrying about this too much, Himura-san. You were fighting the Shinsengumi, you fell in the river, and Ushiro-san saved you. That's all you need to know right now. You need rest, not more questions."

He finally nodded like an obedient child, and closed his eyes, ready for more sleep. As he was drifting off, a wayward memory floated into his mental field. Saito bearing down on him at the bridge. _That must have been what Okami was talking about. Perhaps his memories weren't as faded as he'd feared._

And so he fell asleep before it could even occur to him to wonder why the wolf had been away from his pack, dressed in a police officer's uniform.

Smoking a cigarrette...

* * *

_1878_

He groaned softly. He was hot and uncomfortable. His head felt like it was going to explode, and his many wounds were burning. All in all, as Kenshin tried to force his way back to consciousness, it occurred to him that perhaps he would be better off dead. He was in a rare bad mood that could only be brought on by extreme pain, exhaustion and stress.

He slowly opened his eyes. His focus was blurred at first, but he could see the walls of an inn. His fuzzy mind fought to understand and he blinked a couple of times, before closing them. It hadn't worked. Shishio must have returned him to the Kohagi Inn. "_Kuso,_" he growled, using the curse word for the first time in years. Not caring what he sounded like in his disappointment.

He was surprised at the chorus of voices that accompanied that word.

"He's awake!"

"Move over! Let me see!"

"Is he alright? Megumi-san! Come quick!"

"Did Kenshin just _swear_?"

The redhead's eyes snapped open, and he forced himself to sit up a little, trying to focus on the room around him. On the people. Startled to realize that this inn was the Aoi-ya. Overjoyed to see his friends.

As he struggled to move, a sharp pain in his supporting shoulder forced him to cry out and drop again. _Kuso,_ he thought, testing the word again. _I forgot about that arm._

But all angry and frustrated thoughts scattered as a familiar set of arms wrapped themselves around him. "Kenshin," Kaoru whispered into his hair, where she'd buried her face. "I thought... I thought..." She paused a moment as she allowed herself a shuddery breath. "Are you alright? You've been unconscious for three days! We were so worried!"

"You're smothering him, Jou-chan," Sano growled in a friendly manner. Kenshin knew the fighter was somewhere nearby. Not certain exactly where, as he was forced to rely on his hearing while his face was buried in Kaoru's training gi.

She pulled back, her blue eyes desperately worried, but relieved at the same time.

Kenshin smiled gently at her, reaching up with his good arm, and brushing a tear from her face in a motion that almost mirrored his younger counterpart's. "I am sorry to make you cry, Kaoru-dono, that I am. I didn't mean to leave you."

Her eyes widened, and she clutched his hand, smiling. "I know..."

The moment was broken by another clamor of voices. "Hey, you left us, too!" Sano snapped, lightly whapping Kenshin in the head.

"You really _swore_!" Yahiko announced again, shaking his head in amazement.

Misao had a look of utter confusion on her face as she looked from one person to another before finally asking in a timid voice, "Left? Where did he go?"

She was ignored by everyone but Yahiko, who smacked her, muttering, "Baka," just loudly enough for her to hear it.

They fell to fighting as usual.

Kaoru and Sano had already began arguing about whose fault _exactly_ it was that Kenshin was in this shape to begin with.

Megumi slipped into the room, a calm spot amidst the chaos, with fresh bandages. She ignored them all with the exception of offering Kaoru a quick whap to the head before telling her to help Aoshi with the tea. Then she knelt down and gently began retreating Kenshin's wounds as though nothing had happened.

The rurouni smiled to himself. This was what he had missed. This family of his. The bickering, the fighting, the crying The laughing.

He sighed, content, even as Megumi warned him that her medicine would hurt. He just offered her a happy smile and nodded, watching the others living their lives.

Yes... this was exactly what he'd missed.

His home.

* * *

It was almost a week before Megumi declared him well enough to move around. Kenshin strongly suspected that this was partially due to the fact that she didn't want him falling into any more time traps. At least not until he was well enough to survive one. 

During that week, he'd recounted his story numerous times. Always making it a point to mention how glad he was to be home. Kaoru beamed every time he said it.

And Sano...

Kenshin smlied. The fighter had remained in his room day in and day out until he was _convinced _that the rurouni would be alright. Offering him food, talks, anything he wanted. It was strange. Sano was usually too active to sit in one place for long, but during that week, he hadn't seemed the least bit uncomfortable spending all of his time in the little room at the inn. Telling Kenshin how Kaoru had almost singlehandedly pulled him from the river. How Saito (the bastard) had just stood there smoking and watching her, before leaving them. Sano never left Kenshin enough time to dwell on the darker aspects of his trip. The difficult parts where he'd been forced to face demons from his past.

He also never brought up the river or the bridge. Kenshin still wasn't quite sure how to breech that. It was something they needed to talk about that he'd hoped perhaps Sano had already realized. But it didn't look like the fighter was going to make things _that_ easy for him.

Even so, there were no words to express how grateful he was for his friend's actions in the past few days. In some ways, he was painfully reminded of Ushiro.

Kenshin winced, pulling on his gi, and slipping on his sakabatou. They would be leaving Kyoto in a few days. He looked forward to their return trip to Tokyo, but still... he had some unfinished business to attend to before he left.

And that was what lead him now to the main road, walking a path he hadn't expected to ever walk again.

Ushiro had mentioned that he had a house in Kyoto. He'd even pointed it out once, as they'd passed it on the street. At the time, Kenshin had merely filed the information away within his mind, never intending to use it.

But now, Kenshin could only hope that his house hadn't been one of those destroyed during the revolution. Because the rurouni had a promise to keep. He kept walking, turning a corner, making his way to a run of small houses. Comfortable, but by no means rich.

Finally he stopped in front of one small building. It was still there. Just as it had been when he'd seen it so many years ago. He could almost imagine his old friend alive, answering the door. Older, certainly, but still with that friendly grin on his face. Welcoming him inside. Inviting Kenshin to meet his wife.

The rurouni hesitated, uncertain if he'd actually be able to knock on the door. To face Ushiro's widow. Kenshin had never even met her. He'd only heard by chance during his wandering of his friend's marriage a year before his death. Ushiro's wife would not know him. Wouldn't understand why this once-deadly relic of the revolution would be at her door.

This was harder than he'd expected. But he'd given his word... Slowly, he took a deep breath and composed himself. He stepped up to the door, and firmly rapped on it. Then he stepped back and waited.

He heard footsteps from within. Saw the door slide open a crack, revealing a pair of dark eyes. There was a gasp. Kenshin winced, expecting the woman to slam the door shut in the hitokiri's face.

He was surprised when the door slid the rest of the way open, exposing Ushiro's widow. "Battousai-san!" she gasped, bowing low. "I... I..."

"Nozomi-dono," he whispered. Finally his shock gave way to relief. At least she wasn't going to run from the demon of the Bakumatsu.

"You really came," she said softly, still staring at him in amazement. "I wasn't sure if you were even still alive." She flushed a little at that, looking ten years younger at that moment. "I'm happy to see that you're alright, though..."

He smiled gently at her. "It is good to see you as well, Nozomi-dono," he said softly. "I didn't realize that you were Ryu's wife." He stopped at the flicker of pain in her eyes, understanding the raw wounds that lost love could sometimes inflict. Wounds that even time didn't perfectly heal. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have mentioned..."

She shook her head. "No. No, Battousai-san. I'm being rude, making you wait out here. Please come inside. I... I have something for you."

"Oro?" he blinked at her in surprise and followed her into the house.

It was comfortable. Warm. He knelt by a table, glancing around the room. His eyes fell on a small top near the wall.

She must have noticed his questioning expression, because she smiled. "Akira-chan is visiting with his sensei," she explained lightly. "I wish he was here. You could have met him. He looks a great deal like his father."

Kenshin blinked his wide lavender eyes at her in surprise, before smiling once again. "I wish I could have met him. Perhaps next time I visit Kyoto. If you wouldn't mind my intrusion."

She returned his smile. "I'd like that, Battousai-san."

"Kenshin," he replied softly. "Please. Just call me Kenshin."

She flushed again and nodded. "Alright... Ken-san." She seemed to be at a loss for words. Finally, clearing her throat, she asked, "Would you care for some tea?"

The redhead shook his head gently. "No thank you, Nozomi-dono. I actually cannot stay long. I just promised Ryu a long time ago that I would visit him." Pain returned to his eyes. "I only wish it could have been sooner."

Nozomi nodded. "I know," she said softly. "He told me." She turned to a small chest behind her, ignoring the startled look on the rurouni's face, and began digging around for something inside. Moments later, she turned around, holding a folded piece of paper.

She smiled faintly at his questioning look. "He left this for you," she said gently, extending the paper toward him. "He wrote it not long before he... before he left. He wanted to be able to say goodbye to you, I suppose." Her smile spread as she thought back to her husband. "He wouldn't believe that you might be dead, and he made me promise to keep this for you, when you came for it." She shook her head. "Honestly, I thought it was the illness talking. But... he knew somehow... didn't he?"

Kenshin was only able to nod briefly in reply, carefully taking the paper from her.

"I thought so." Her eyes focused on her guest once more. "Are you sure you wouldn't like some tea, Battou—Ken-san?"

He shook his head, still staring in mild shock at the folded paper in his hands. Finally he found his voice. "No thank you, Nozomi-dono. I really should be going now, anyway. I only came to pay my respects, late though they are." He stood.

She nodded. "I understand."

They walked to the door together. As he stepped outside, she said softly, "You're free to come here whenever you'd like... Ken-san. If you'd like to meet our son... or talk about Ryu..."

Kenshin turned back to her and smiled. "I would like that Nozomi-dono, that I would." He bowed courteously. She returned the gesture. Perhaps time had changed them, only adding to the distance he'd once maintained between them.

He offered her a warm smile, to which she responded with a faint blush and a darting of eyes.

Then again, perhaps they hadn't changed so much...

He didn't unfold the paper right away, as he walked from her house. Instead, he visited a small shop, purchasing a jug of sake, and began walking into the woods. This was something he needed privacy for. And he had another important visit to make before he left, anyway...

Kenshin waited until he was well into the shadow shrouded woods and away from prying eyes before he carefully unfolded the paper. Ushiro's bold strokes leapt off the page at him, a little shakier than they once had been, but still clearly the words of his friend.The rurouni took a deep breath before reading.

_Kenshin,_

_Somehow I knew it was going to come down to me having to write you a note again. Although I wish it was under better circumstances. I was hoping to see you again. Even if just once. But that's how life goes, I guess. I should just be grateful to know that you came out of this alright. I'm afraid I can't convince Nozomi-chan of it, but she'll realize eventually. She'll understand when you visit, won't she?_

_A few more words then, before I rest. Things that perhaps you need to hear one more time so it sinks in. You are a great man. Any time you ever doubt that, I want you to think back on how many of us you saved. How many people you protected. Don't focus on the death you caused. We all killed at some point or another. It was war. You may have been a hitokiri, but that was never your heart. That is the beauty of shadows, you know. There always has to be a light that creates them. You were unique. Your heart was your own light. Those of us who bothered to look could see that. Those who didn't look, didn't deserve to see you at all. _

_I wish the best for you, Kenshin. For you and whoever it is you have waiting for you. I hope you will be as happy as Nozomi-chan and I are._

_You're in charge of your own life now, so don't dwell on the past. Live your present. Think of your future. And if you get a chance in all of that, think back on me once in awhile._

_I'll see you around eventually._

_Ryu_

* * *

Kenshin walked in thoughtful silence for a long while after that. Ryu's words swimming in his mind. "_Live your present. Think of your future... Don't dwell on the past." _How ironic that it was a trip to his past that had brought these words to him. 

He carefully laid these thoughts aside, as he broke from the trees into a small, familiar clearing. It was all as he remembered. The small hut. The lit kiln. And the tall man man in the red and white mantle seated before it. Kenshin hesitated a moment, thinking back to his conversation with his younger shishou. When the tall man had tossed him some sake to help him _"focus."_

Kenshin managed a weak smile, glancing down at the fresh jug at his hip. Perhaps now was the time to return the favor.

With that thought, he stepped out of the dappled woods and into the bright sunlight, quietly approaching the man from behind.

He was still a good two yards away when Hiko snapped in an irritated voice, "What do you want?" He hadn't even bothered turning around.

Kenshin blinked at him, startled at first by the irritation in his voice. Then he understood. _Oro... He's been expecting me for days now. He's probably furious... _Kenshin sweatdropped. "Shishou..." he said tentatively. "I brought some sake."

The older man snorted, staring into the flames. "Don't try to butter me up. You're not going to lay this crap on me, and then expect me to fix everything in a few days if you buy me alcohol." He finally glanced back at the bottle, before turning away, snorting again. "And it's that garbage they sell in Kyoto. Drink it yourself."

Kenshin sighed. "Shishou," he said softly, a little distressed. "I'm sorry I'm late, that I am. But the situation was... complicated. I wasn't exactly... here... to visit when you expected me. Don't hold that against me." His eyebrow twitched a little and he muttered, "You've got enough to hold against me as it is..."

Hiko finally spun on him, glaring. "What the hell are you talking about, Ken—" He broke off as he got a good look at the man before him. "Kenshin..."

The redhead blinked at him, uncomprehendingly.

Hiko stood, eyeing him critically, with a slightly suspicious look in his eye, as though he didn't really believe the man before him was his deshi. Finally satisfied, his face settled into his customary scowl and he snapped, "Why the hell did you have to come and bother me with this if you were going to send _yourself_ home?"

Kenshin's eyes widened. "Shishou...?" he asked tentatively. "You... you _know..._? I came to see you?" He paled visibly. "You dealt with Battousai...?"

Hiko snorted. "I dealt with my baka deshi," he growled, turning his back on Kenshin again, and scooping his sake jug up. He glanced back at the redhead, adding, "I swore I'd never deal with hitokiri, least of all hitokiri Battousai." He stomped away into the hut.

Kenshin just stood, staring after him in silence, uncertain of how to respond.

"_Baka!"_ Hiko shouted from inside of the shack. _"Are you coming or not?"_

The redhead scurried into the small hut. He stood awkwardly in the doorway, watching Hiko warily.

Hiko glared up at him. "What?"

Kenshin shifted uncomfortably. "Shishou... if you didn't deal with Battousai..." His voice was barely a whisper. "...then how...?"

Hiko didn't look at him, staring instead into his sake jug. "You stopped being Battousai when that girl died," he said in an uncharacteristically quiet voice. His whole demeanor seemed to have changed. "I never realized..." He broke off, clearing his throat. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. You came to me to fix it, and now it's fixed. So just forget about it." His expression darkened a moment, turning almost sad. Again, confusing and distressing Kenshin. "Although it seems you've already forgotten..."

The redhead finally stepped into the small room. "Shishou... I... I'm sorry... Did something important happen? I remember _nothing_ from coming here. I didn't just forget _you_..."

Hiko glared at him. "Like I care what you remember and what you forget," he snapped. "Forget whatever you want. Let's just pour the sake. God knows I need it with you around..." He motioned toward the shelves of pottery. "Make yourself useful and grab some cups."

Kenshin sighed, trying to ignore Hiko's unprecedented emotional avalanche. This was a man who had never even _shown _an emotion in his life, as far as Kenshin was concerned. Why was he making up for it _now_? Kenshin plucked two small cups off of the shelf, and was just turning away, when a misshapen lump caught his eye. He snorted a little and shook his head before seating himself in front of his shishou.

Hiko didn't miss this display. He poured some of his own sake which he'd heated outside, ignoring the small jug that Kenshin offered. "What was that all about?" he grunted, raising an eyebrow.

Kenshin shrugged. "That pot of yours. I still can't figure out why you kept it all this time. It's horrible."

"So was your calligraphy," Hiko retaliated without even thinking before a wild thought struck him, and he glanced up at his clueless deshi. _Wait a minute... I've only shown him that pot once..._

Kenshin studied his cup in silence a moment before replying simply, "I can't believe you kept that either. That you kept _anything _of mine..." He took a sip from his cup, glancing up at his shishou. "Thank you for that," he added softly. "For not totally giving up on me. I'm not sure if I ever said it before... but thank you..."

Hiko stared silently at his deshi before raising his own cup to his lips. _You haven't forgotten, have you?_ he realized. _You may not remember everything with your mind... But some of it stuck, didn't it...?_

"You baka," he muttered, finally relaxing. Finally content that the boy had picked up _something _from their talks, even if it wasn't in his immediate memory. "Leave it to you to remember things like that..."

Kenshin blinked up at him. "Oro?"

But Hiko just smiled at his deshi for the first time in a long time, further startling him. "Forget it," he said softly. He motioned to the cup in his deshi's hand. "How does it taste?"

Kenshin took another small sip, savoring it a moment. "It's good," he replied.

Hiko nodded, content. "For once, I have to agree."

* * *

_Author's Note: First of all, this is not the last chapter. So keep your eyes open for Chapter 30: Epilogue, as well as Chapter 31 (which I didn't decide for sure I wanted to post until today). Chapter 31 is a collection of deleted and alternate scenes that I either changed or never got to use. I hope you like them both!_

_Second random note. I am on a quest. I am looking for a Hiko plushie. I've started strongly suspecting that no one makes Hiko plushies (which saddens me)... Does anyone know if Hiko plushies are available anywhere? (cries)_

_Ahem... yes... anyway... on to the reviewer responses:_

_Lolo popoki and FrostPhoenix: Thank you both sooooo much for your invaluable beta work on this chapter! I can't thank you enough!_

_Estalio: Welcome back! I'm glad you liked the chapter. I actually do write some original fiction, which I post at fictionpress(dot)com under the same penname: SiriusFan13. Mostly it's poetry and short stories, but I'm starting a fantasy and a humor fic as well... (sweatdrops) We'll see how _that_ goes... heh..._

_Ymir-chan: Yay for character growth. I'm obsessive about that, so I'm always happy to see when people appreciate it!_

_omasuoniwabanshi: I'm speechless... Thanks so much for the kind words!_

_treegirl298: I'm so happy to hear that you like it! Thanks!_

_animegurl23: Actually I asked Shirou to post it. I thought that his parody was very amusing... I loved the idea of someone taking this fic and working their own spin on it... (laughs) I'm generally pretty open about it as long as someone lets me know so I can read it, and there's _some_ credit somewhere... LOL... Thanks for the heads up though!_

_Conspirator: I'm glad you liked the chapter. Even though the rest is denouement, I hope you still enjoy it! Thanks!_

_Firalyn Tiatra: (laughs) Yeah... the theology was the worst part. I knew it would be off. That's probably my weakest area of knowledge in these fanfics... Japanese theology... (sighs) But I hope the feeling got across enough to make up for it!_

_Yugata Tenshi: Wow... I'm so happy to her that you liked the chapter so much. Thanks for the kind words._

_Nemesis Jedi: Yeah... I was trying for something different. I'm generally a time travel obsessive (not just for writing them, which is probably obvious by now, but also watching and reading them). My only problem is that I'm rarely happy with the "how" and "why" explanations. I was hoping that when I got to this point, I wouldn't wind up doing that to my readers... so it's nice to hear positive things said about that chapter!_

_windborn: Does this chapter answer your questions about why Battousai doesn't remember?_

_Shirou Shinjin: What? No more parody reviews! I'm crushed (laughs) Can't wait to see more of what you come up with yourself, anyway..._

_Myks: A longer chapter this time... I hope I am to be considered less evil now!_

_sueb262: I'm flattered that you'd even _want_ to use concepts from my story! Wow... Just that you'd consider it is really cool (especially considering how much _I_ love_ your _work!) Oh, and on that note, I'm still flattered that Ushiro made his little cameo in your fic. (blushes)_

_And of course, to all other readers and reviewers: Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and the last chapter! Please continue to review!_

_Dewa mata! _


	30. Epilogue

**Out of Time**

_**Chapter 30: Epilogue**_

_1865--Kyoto_

Battousai had been bedridden for almost a week before Okami had finally let him get up and see Katsura-san. And for that week, the youth had felt an uncomfortable worry eating away at his tattered memory. For some reason, he needed to see his commander. Be sure the man was still alive.

He ignored the surprised looks of the men as he strode through the halls in broad daylight, bandages obvious under his gi. Bruises and scratches clearly visible across his face, hands and arms. His eyes narrowed and blank as was his custom. His movements as silent as shadows slipping across the walls.

But he wasn't to be ignored today. Even with the hitokiri's mask firmly in place, there was something different about him. His ki had changed, still a fearsome blade, but tempered somewhat. And his eyes. There was a spark of life within their blue depths.

Instead of the customary silence in his wake, there were instead surprised whispers.

He ignored them, greater concerns on his mind. His focus was so intense that he didn't even notice when one of the men broke away from the others and came up beside him, laying a stilling hand on his shoulder.

"Kenshin?"

The boy stiffened and froze.

The few other men in the hall fell silent at this, and then scattered, more willing to find other jobs than take part in this interaction. _Who called the demon by name?_

Finally the redhead turned to see Ushiro studying him. "Ushiro-san," he replied awkwardly. He glanced away a moment. _Why this sudden relief? He'd known Ushiro was fine. Hadn't Okami said so? Why the sudden concern for his life?_

_What had _happened_ to him...?_

"Kenshin?"

The sound of his name drew him back once again. "I'm sorry," he muttered, shaking his head. "The fever. Okami says it's confused me." He hesitated a little, brow furrowed. "She... also said you saved my life..." He looked up to see the other man nod.

The boy just stared at him a moment. "Why?"

Ushiro laughed as though the question were ridiculous. "You were drowning. I didn't want to see you die."

"Why?"

Understanding suddenly dawned within the older man's eyes, and with it came a glimmer of sadness. "Kenshin..." He sighed. "You are my friend. Whether or not you understand why. Or want to be. Or think you deserve to be. That's all there is to it."

Battousai shook his head, frustrated. "I don't understand."

Ushiro smiled. "You don't have to."

The boy looked like he was going to argue it, but instead shook his head and managed a small smile. "Then I thank you, Ushiro-san."

At that small accomplishment, Ushiro grinned. "Ryu."

A hesitation and a single nod. "Fine. Ryu."

"Good. Well... I'll leave you to Katsura-san. Let you finish your business. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." With those words, he offered a parting smile and began walking away.

He'd only gone a few steps when he suddenly stopped. "Oh! Kenshin, I almost forgot. Kano and I are meeting for breakfast. Join us if you get hungry, okay? I'll make sure Kano keeps his mouth shut this time."

The redhead blinked in surprise a moment before managing one other small smile. "I... would like that, Ush... Ryu." He inclined his head. "Perhaps I will join you."

Ryu grinned and finally walked away, leaving the youth alone to his thoughts.

_Friend?_ He shook his head, refusing to focus on that right now, as he resumed his walk down the hall to the commander's room.

He hesitated in front of the door for a moment before finally knocking tentatively.

"Come in."

Battousai breathed a sigh at the sound of Katsura's voice, and slid the door open, entering.

"Himura!" There was relief in Katsura's voice as well, as though he'd been concerned about the welfare of his sword.

The redhead slid the door shut behind him and walked the rest of the way to his commander, bowing and kneeling before him, silent.

The older man studied his hitokiri carefully before finally asking, "How are you feeling, Himura?"

The youth just stared at him a moment before admitting ruefully, "Sore. Tired." He hesitated before adding, "Confused."

Katsura arched an eyebrow. "Confused? How so?"

"I... don't remember much from before my fever. I don't remember fighting the Shinsengumi. Or what I was doing."

The commander smiled. "You're worrying about it too much, Himura," he said softly. "These things happen. You're lucky the fever didn't do any worse. A few lost memories is a small price to pay when you could have died."

"Yes, Katsura-san," the boy agreed. "You are right." He didn't sound convinced.

"Himura, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'm sure your memories will come back to you... eventually. Just give it time. Until then, relax. You need to finish healing. Take a few more days rest. I know you expected an assignment, but you're going to have to wait."

Battousai nodded, recognizing his dismissal. He stood, bowing, then turned and began walking toward the door.

Katsura's voice stopped him. "I would just like to say that I'm glad you have you back," the older man said. He smiled. "Battousai was sorely missed."

There was a long moment of silence.

The redhead swallowed hard. He turned, meeting his commander's eyes. "Please don't call me that, Katsura-san," the youth said softly, his blue eyes glowing with the faintest hint of lavender. He bowed respectfully, but his voice remained firm. "I am not a hitokiri anymore." His serious expression silenced the older man. "I am no longer just a killer. I am a swordsman, and my name is not Hitokiri Battousai. Please... call me Kenshin."

* * *

_1878--Tokyo_

"Sano, I'm not sure this is a good idea," Kenshin muttered following behind the fighter as they made their way through the familiar streets of Tokyo. "Kaoru-dono expected us to come right back with the tofu. I promised I would cook dinner, that I did."

Sano snorted. "Kenshin, we've been back in Tokyo for two hours and she's already got you shopping and cooking for her again. Give me a break. You're allowed to waste a few minutes here and there. You shouldn't even be _carrying_ anything yet." He turned and shot glare at Kenshin who was hauling the tofu along. Sano snatched the bucket from his hand. "Gimme that!"

"Oro?"

The fighter began stomping off again, muttering to himself. "How the hell did you survive the revolution without any common sense?"

Kenshin didn't answer, allowing a small smile to creep onto his face as he fought to keep up with his friend.

They walked in silence awhile longer, before they finally turned down a small, crowded street with a number of little homes practically piled one on top of the other. Sano waved a friendly hand at several people as he walked by.

Finally, he stopped at one place and went in, motioning for Kenshin to follow.

The redhead looked around, interested, as this was the first time he'd ever been invited into his friend's home. "What are we doing here, Sanosuke?" he asked, mildly.

"I wanna show you something," Sano replied in a gruff voice. "Gimme a sec, okay?" He set the tofu down, and knelt before a chest, digging through the contents.

Kenshin waited patiently, studying a drawing of Sagara that Katsu had given Sanosuke.

Finally, Sano's triumphant voice broke the silence. "Ha! Here it is. Was scared I lost it for a second there."

Smiling, Kenshin looked to see Sano standing now, hands extended.

It took the rurouni a moment to recognize the item. When he did, his smile faded into a more serious expression.

Sano held an old wakizashi to the former hitokiri. Puzzled at first, Kenshin stared at for a moment before slowly reaching for the sheathed weapon. Careful not to allow the sword to slip out of its sheath, he examined it, running his fingers along the hilt. Feeling the weight. He knew this blade. Kenshin stared at the sword and finally asked softly, "Where did you get this, Sanosuke? It looks too old to have come from..." He trailed off, not yet ready to talk about himself.

Sano's eyes were serious. "I found it. A long time ago, when I was a stupid kid who almost killed myself on a bridge. I think it belonged to a swordsman who tried to save my life." The look he sent Kenshin was half questioning.

"A swordsman, was it?" Kenshin murmured, for once allowing a trace of Battousai's voice to filter through.

"Yeah," Sano replied. "I figure it had to be a swordsman. A hitokiri wouldn't have wasted the time to save some random kid." When Kenshin didn't reply, Sano continued. "I just figured... if I had that sword, then eventually I'd have to return it, and maybe it would give me a reason... to find him someday. You know. To thank him."

Kenshin finally looked up at Sano, his deep violet eyes looking, at that moment, so like the young man Sano had spent time befriending. "I think," he said softly, "that your swordsman would want you to keep it." He handed the blade back to Sano, his eyes brightening again, and a faint smile playing at his lips. "He was worried that the boy died, you know, that he most certainly was."

At that, Sano laughed, returning the blade to its resting place. "Yeah? Too bad he didn't know I have such a hard head. Might have saved him a lot of trouble."

"Sanosuke?"

Sano shut the chest and glanced back at Kenshin. "Yeah?"

"Did you find your reason, then?"

"Yeah," he said, straightening. "They're all right here."

"Then it seems we're in agreement." The rurouni smiled. "Let's go home."

_** - OWARI - ****

* * *

** _

Author's Note: I'm afraid I've no time for a proper reviewer response today. My internet has been down (with the exception of one evening when it spontaneously worked and I managed to get this chapter off of my computer and into cyberspace... Thank GOD! (cringes at thought of being lynched by reviewers because stupid computer's disk drive and internet were dead...)

Anyway... it's been a really fun ride. And I have to say now that I appreciate every single review, word of encouragement and everything! There IS one more chapter of this fiction... the "Deleted and Alternate Scenes" chapter, which I'll post in about a week. Hopefully you'll find that amusing at least. I wasn't sure if it would be worth posting. I mean, it was obviously stuff that I'd pulled for a reason, but reading back over the stuff in my notes and the stuff I cut but couldn't bring myself to delete from my computer, I really liked some of that, so it won out, and that chapter will be posted.

For those of you who enjoyed "Out of Time," and for some reason want more... I do intend to post a set of fics about this storyline. (Why do I do this to myself?) "Amethyst and Amber" is a prequel fiction set only a few weeks after Tomoe's death, featuring Battousai and Ushiro. "A Time for Every Purpose" is another time travel involving Kenji after Seisouhen (yes, I'm acknowledging it... but I'm trying to make it all better, too!) Ushiro is in it, and the fic acknowledges "Out of Time's" storyline. There will also be a story that is still untitled involving Kenji helping his father say goodbye post-mortem. It is meant to be sort of a bridge between Seisouhen and "A Time for Every Purpose." And currently, I have posted two one-shots, "Like Breathing" and "Envy" featuring Ushiro and Battousai, and references to Nozomi, Kano and Ushiro in "Ruroken Haiku Collection." (Sweatdrops... sorry if I sound like I'm hyping myself... but I thought some of you might like the update).

And for those of you who were waiting... Saito fic, otherwise known as "A Wolf in Officer's Clothing" is officially in the works, as promised. Give me about a month, and I'll begin officially posting it with the currently posted teaser by the same title...

Thank you to Myks for doing a beautiful fanart of "Out of Time." I'll try to post it with a link on my bio page for everyone to see once my computer is working again. Thanks to Lolo popoki and FrostPhoenix for their invaluable beta-ing. And to lolo popoki for letting me use her wallpaper, "Two Elements" on my bio page... Thanks to Sueb262 for her support, and for subtly throwing Ushiro into her "Fear No Evil." Thanks to Shirou Shinjin for writing the vastly amusing "Out of Time" parody.

And again, thank you all for your support through this fic! Sorry about this ridiculously long reviewer response-less author's note. And keep your eyes open for the next, and final chapter, "Deleted and Alternate Scenes."

Dewa mata!


	31. Alternate and Deleted Scenes

**Out of Time**

**_Chapter 31:Alternate andDeletedScenes_**

* * *

_Author's Note: General explanation of how I worked this. The following are deleted and alternate scenes and lines that I had written for "Out of Time." Some I found in my notes, and those had never made their way actually INTO the story. Others were at the end of the story file, dragging along because I couldn't bring myself to completely delete them, even after they were cut. So here they are. I tried to start out each one with a quick explanation in italics of where it originally went in the story and why it was cut (if I could remember). I hope you enjoy!

* * *

_

_Original opening intended to be a prologue leading into Chapter One. This was before I had a solid concept of how the story was going to work…_

_Kyoto-1861(?)_

The streets were black. What little light the moon supplied only serving to spread shadows and add to the danger of the night. No one was foolish enough to wander the streets alone, especially at night. Unless you were one of the Shinsengumi. Or perhaps the hitokiri. But there was someone else out that night, wandering through the streets. He was a young, dark-haired boy. A person would have to have a death wish to wander as he did. And this blood-splattered boy did have a death wish. A week ago he'd lost everything he'd ever had. And now, he stood at a bridge, planning on just finishing everything. Not expecting someone else to be out who had also just lost everything.

The boy climbed onto the railing and sat there, trying to decide if the fall would kill him. The last one hadn't. Times like these, it didn't pay to have a hard head.

He sat there for several minutes before he heard a soft voice from the shadows. "Are you going to jump or just look at the moon?"

The boy started and turned to see a teenage boy quietly approach, his face in shadow. The teenager walked onto the bridge and stood beside him. The newcomer wore swords. A samurai then? A hopeful thought struck him. A hitokiri maybe. No. If it were a hitokiri, he'd already be dead.

"Just trying to decide if it's deep enough to drown."

The swordsman didn't look at him, but leaned on the railing. "I'm sure it is. I've come here… often lately, thinking the same thing."

The boy watched the quiet young man. It was so peaceful. The two standing on a bridge watching the moon. He could almost believe there was no revolution. No one out destroying lives.

"But you're still alive."

"Yes. Someone died to save me. Someone I cared about. And I realize, every time I come here, that death would be so easy. Too easy. Especially when someone else spent their life to save mine." The swordsman paused. "It's happened twice now. The first time, I had someone to help me through it. This time, I'm alone."

The boy watched him talk. It was too dark to make out his features, but he got the impression that this swordsman was someone different. He could hear the hollowness in the young man's voice. This was someone who understood.

The boy nodded. "Same here. But now that he's dead… I don't have anybody. I'm nothing."

The man sighed. "Maybe. But you're enough to remind me why I have to walk off of this bridge." He looked up. "They're watching me. I made an oath to them that I would live. I can't break it."

"I made no oath. I have no reason."

"Then maybe you should find your reason. Before you die, find out if there's a reason to live."

The boy slipped off of the rail back onto the bridge. "Maybe. I guess waiting one more night wouldn't hurt. Maybe the captain would want that."

"Maybe." He paused. "You've a strong ki. You shouldn't go down without a fight."

The boy finally nodded. He watched the swordsman for a moment, and finding no words to express what he wanted to say, he just nodded again and left.

The young man watched the boy leave. It felt strange to have protected life instead of taking it. But maybe that was part of his oath, too.

He closed his eyes and let the moon shine upon his face. "Tomoe…"

* * *

_Originally, this was set to be a portion of Chapter 5—Meiji, but I never could seem to find a slot to put it in…_

"I don't like pretending. It isn't fair to them, letting them think I am something that I am not." There was a distant look in his eyes. "That never works out well in the end."

Sano made a disgusted sound. "You're pretending to be an older you. That's all. It's like playing a game… playing grown-up, that's all. You know…" He faltered a moment, trying to explain. "You don't have a clue what I'm talking about, do you?"

"I'm not an idiot, Sanosuke," Battousai cut in. "I know what playing is."

Sano blinked a couple of times, startled. "Oh. I just figured… well, if you were a hitokiri so young, that you mustn't have had time for…" he trailed off.

Battousai wasn't looking at him. "I've been forced to play this _game_ before, after the Ikedaya incident." His eyes grew dark and deep, exactly as Kenshin's always did when drawn into the past. It was strange to see Battousai getting pulled into his past instead of _being_ the past.

Sano turned to see what Battousai was staring at. It was the small top that Kenshin had bought Suzume the day they'd arrived in Kyoto.

"Himura?"

Battousai closed his eyes and turned slowly away. He spoke again, his voice smooth and expressionless as always, but sounding somewhat forced. "I went into hiding for a few months in a small village… in Otsu. We played the roles of apothecary and wife." Again, he had that haunted look.

Sano was actually concerned enough that the youth's words didn't register immediately.

* * *

_This was a portion of the end of Chapter 5—Bakumatsu, cut basically because I wasn't happy with the overall wording of the section, not to mention the fact that I decided I didn't want Hiko (and thus Kenshin) to figure out too much too early. I eventually rewrote the end of the chapter, but I liked parts of this, and couldn't bring myself to delete it from my computer…_

"Then you'd better start looking for him."

"Here? In Kyoto? If someone sees me, they'll think I'm—"

"Hitokiri Battousai," Hiko growled, "which you technically are. At least while you're here. Think about it, baka. If you're here, then Battousai is probably in your time."

Kenshin shook his head. "Impossible. I'd remember."

Hiko smirked. "The hell you would. You're the most stubborn baka I've ever known. If something happened to you that didn't make sense, you would have been more likely to brush it off as a dream and forget it than accept it as reality. The practical idealist." He snorted. "You never did make any sense."

* * *

_Chapter 11—Meiji. This is just a quick start I'd made to the chapter when it was originally going to be written from Battousai's point of view._

Sano didn't follow Battousai to the Aoi-ya, which was a relief for the redhead. He wasn't prepared to deal with any more of Sanosuke's friendly advances. Because in the end Sano had been no different from any of his Ishin-shishi compatriots.

* * *

_Chapter 12—Bakumatsu. Just a line, but one I really liked and wish I could have kept in. This was originally placed right after Kenshin's observation of Kano, and his realization that he was judging the man based on his predecessor, Iizuka. I cut it out because I didn't really want to hint at Shishio before he made himself known…_

For half a second, Kenshin wondered if Shishio had been stained by Battousai's sins, but he forced such thoughts from his mind.

* * *

_Chapter 12—Meiji. Just a quick line that I cut to reduce overkill in the scene where Kaoru had demanded the truth from Battousai and then left…_

He'd killed his own innocence. The least he could do was protect hers.

* * *

_Chapter 17—Meiji. I just wound up rewording the whole section, so a lot got cut. I kind of liked this part though… so it was never actually deleted from my computer._

He looked closely at his deshi, trying to read his expression. But he was starting to realize that as well as he may have known his baka deshi as a child, and even when he'd returned years later… Battousai… this boy was a different matter.

* * *

_Originally part of Harada Sanosuke's thoughts toward the beginning of Chapter 17. Just cut because it wasn't really necessary… And yes, an intentional PMK reference as well…_

Saito had called him a "Demon of the Ishin," and the nickname had stuck. None of the men would admit to being _afraid_ of him, of course, but Harada hadn't missed that until now it was always Saito or Okita who seemed to be set in Battousai's path. The two samurai who weren't swayed at all by mention of the "spirits" or "demons."

* * *

_Meiji—This was originally intended to fit sometime during Hiko and Battousai's conversation in Chapter 18. This scene wasn't exactly cut. It was something that popped into my head WAAAAY before I ever got to this chatper, and I threw it in my notes… Again, something that I just couldn't find a spot for…_

"You're acting weird," Battousai said, Hiko's concern starting to confuse and scare the young hitokiri. He couldn't understand this, and he honestly was starting to think he'd prefer the old Hiko. At least he knew what to expect. A wicked idea struck him, and trying to play on his shishou's arrogance, he commented, "You've let yourself get old and soft."

Hiko just ignored him.

"Shishou?"

Hiko raised an eyebrow. "Am I supposed to rise to childish taunts? You used to hate it when I'd criticize you or treat you like a child. What's your problem now?"

Battousai shook his head in frustration. "This isn't you. You're not like this."

Hiko smirked. "People can change, Kenshin."

The redhead shot him a dark look. "You _didn't_ change, Shishou," he said stubbornly. "You _don't_ change. You make other people change for you."

Again, Hiko ignored the biting remark. "Maybe I _haven't_ changed so much. But did it ever occur to you that maybe _you_ have? That maybe the man I know now is a lot closer to my baka deshi than you can imagine being again…" He let that sink in for a moment before continuing. "You don't understand what these people see in a killer, right? Well, they've never known the killer. They've seen a quiet baka who's trying to atone for his sins."

* * *

_About pottery to Battousai in Meiji—Another small part that was originally part of Chapter 18. I couldn't find a spot for it without the scene feeling forced, which really bummed me out, as it had been in my notes for awhile…_

Hiko looked back at his first pot. "You know, that one pisses me off every time I look at it, but it's still my favorite piece."

* * *

_Chapter 23—Meiji. This was the original beginning to the scene where Megumi went to visit Battousai. I kind of liked it, but in the end, it just seemed better to start with Battousai's point of view…_

"He's awake," Aoshi calmly announced as he sat down to eat with the others.

Kaoru and Yahiko were on their feet in seconds, and making their way to the door. Misao was close behind. They were all forced to skid to a stop when Megumi, who had been nearest the door, blocked their exit. "Sit down!" she said sharply. "If you honestly think that I'm going to let any of you see Ken-san before I've completely checked him out, you're mad."

"But Megumi-san," Misao whined.

Kaoru looked about ready to hit the lady doctor. "What makes you think we'll hurt him?" Kaoru demanded. "I just want to see him. To be sure he's okay."

Megumi just glared. "Sit," she snapped. "I know everyone wants to see him, but the fact of the matter is that he needs medical treatment before he needs to be pounced by his friends." She sighed. "Even if those friends _do_ care about him." She placed a comforting hand on Kaoru's shoulder. "I'll treat him quickly and let you know as soon as he's ready, alright?"

Kaoru didn't answer.

"_Kaoru_." The woman's voice was stern.

"Go quickly," the girl finally replied, reluctantly sitting back down.

* * *

_Chapter 26—Meiji. Alternate Scene. This was the original ending to the part with Kaoru and Sano realizing where Battousai had run off to (facing Saito). Rather than just figure things out and take off to save him, I'd originally planned on Kaoru running off to talk to Okon in the Aoi-ya before Sano could say much of anything. This would have led into the next section._

Kaoru ran to the Aoi-ya. Sanosuke was only steps behind her, when she slid the door open with a crash, startling Okon, Aoshi and Megumi who were quietly speaking in the entranceway. All three looked up in surprise to see the disheveled Kaoru standing in the doorway with a slightly out of breath Sanosuke just behind her.

"Kaoru, what's going on?" Megumi asked, eyeing the girl with some worry.

Misao and Yahiko burst in the room just then from the hallway. "What's going on?" Misao exclaimed, looking at everyone in turn. "We heard a crash."

Aoshi said nothing, but his sharp eyes were interested.

Kaoru ignored all of them, turning to Okon. "Please, tell me… do you have any idea what that note you delivered said? Any idea at all?"

Okon's eyes widened. "I didn't read it. I have no idea. Why? Is something wrong?"

"He left as soon as he read the note," the distressed girl whispered. "He said he'd be okay. He'd be right back… but you know Kenshin…"

Megumi's eyes widened. "He _left_? Where? What is he _thinking_? He's in no shape to be running around Kyoto! I'm going to _kill_ him when he gets back!"

"_Shit!"_ Sano suddenly growled, startling everyone. "Saito… He wanted to face Kenshin again…"

"_What! Where?"_ Kaoru's voice was getting frantic. "He's still hurt. Saito could kill him!"

But Sano had already turned and was racing from the Aoi-ya. "The bridges!" he called. "It has to be. If Saito really is going to go through with it… it has to be the bridges…"

Kaoru was right behind him.

Yahiko only hesitated a moment before he was in motion behind them as well.

"Where do you think _you're _going?" Misao shouted after him. "You don't even believe he's the real thing."

He hesitated at the door, looking behind him for a moment. "He may not be Kenshin, but that doesn't mean I want to see him get killed…" With those words, he was out the door, disappearing into the darkness.

Misao turned to Aoshi, her eyes wide. "We should help. I'm sure all together we could stop Saito."

"No." The response was quiet but very final.

"Aoshi-sama?"

His dark eyes were distant. "We will be of no use to Battousai. If we follow, we will only hinder him. You can join them if you wish. But I would rather not risk seeing him fall again. We can be of more use to him here, ready to help when he returns."

* * *

_Originally intended for Chapter 30, the Epilogue… so, yes, a very recently deleted scene… Cut only because no matter what I did (and I really TRIED) I could NOT find a way to stick this in without making the chapter feel wrong… Bakumatsu…_

Okami had finally left, to the boy's relief. He had been grateful, as always, for her kindness… her help. But she had refused to allow him to even leave his futon for the past week except for personal emergencies, and even _that_ had been only begrudgingly. He carefully pulled his gi on, careful of his injured shoulder. He then turned to reach for his blades, which Okami had set near the wall.

He noticed his missing wakizashi immediately. _What had happened to it?_ His frustrated confusion was forgotten, however, as his eyes were drawn to the wall above. Kanji was cut into the wall. Tentatively, the boy ran his fingers over the rough wood.

"Kaoru…" he whispered, reading the name. _Who was she?_ He couldn't remember, but he was _sure _that this hadn't been in his room before. The boy's brow furrowed, as he tried to remember, still running his fingers over the name.

He closed his eyes, feeling the rough wood. And for a moment, he could almost see her. A pretty girl. Smiling at him. His eyes fluttered open in surprise, and the image was gone. _Who was she?_ he wondered. But the memory had faded already, and he found that he couldn't even picture her now.

He finally stood, sighing deeply, trying to shift his focus to other things. Katsura, for instance… but his eyes were again drawn to the kanji. And he couldn't help but notice that something about that name made him feel comfortable. Safe.

"Kaoru…" he whispered again, smiling faintly. _So, he couldn't remember… Maybe the girl had just been a dream._ He began walking toward the door. _But at least she was something to hope for…

* * *

_

_Meiji—Honestly, there was never a set place for this. The idea popped into my head while I was still pretty early into the story and had planned on it spanning a few more days… I intended for it to be placed somewhere near the end, after Kaoru knew about the switch. This section had a second part as well, that I DID wind up using. The scene in Chapter 23—Meiji… The argument between Saito and Sano about leaving Battousai to the wolves was originally the second half of this scene, and was intended to be between Saito and Kaoru… but it suddenly seemed so appropriate for Sano instead…_

Kaoru's eyes flashed as she glared at the wolf. "He's not like you. He's not some killer."

"Battousai is not a killer?" Saito laughed harshly, then abruptly stopped, his eyes hardening, and his expression turning into a sneer. "Look Battousai in the eyes and tell me he's no killer."

"Don't degrade him!" Kaoru snapped, angrily.

"Listen to what you're saying, girl. _You_ degrade him, not me. I've seen the results of his work. I've faced his blade. If he's not a killer, then he's only a sword that someone else wields. _I_ at least give him the respect of a killer with a mind of his own."

Kaoru glared at him. "At least the sword is innocent of the killing."

"Yes," Saito replied, his eyes glowing. "Innocent and souless. It seeks no redemption. Think on that."

* * *

_In all honesty, I can't remember where this was to be placed, but I still kind of like it… _

He's never even thanked his shishou. Granted, the man had been insufferable, but Hiko had been a father to him. He didn't have to save his life and take him in. How had Kenshin repaid him?

* * *

_Author's Note: Well, that's it. Officially. However, I do want to make a comment based on a suggestion I'd recieved. One reviewer (I can't find the name now, sorry!) suggested I make up some "bloopers" to throw in this chapter. I really loved the idea, but wasn't quite up for it. (Why ruin a fic with my inexperienced attempts at humor... heh...) Anyway, Shirou Shinjin already has a parody up if you want to check it out. And I'm considering a "blooper" idea. If anyone thinks they'd get a kick out of writing bloopers, go for it. You can either post them on your own site or under your own penname (please email me the link and your penname) or you can just email the bloopers themselves to me. If I get anyone who's interested, I'll post a Chapter 32 with fan-written bloopers (or links to them). So... it's up to you... I just couldn't let the blooper idea go to waste..._

_Oh, and I forgot to note last chapter when I was thanking people, Big thanks to "gypsy-chan" for posting this fic on her Kaoru and Kenshin site. Sorry I forgot last chapter. And thanks to anyone else who's posted it or helped in any way. Sorry if I forgot to mention you... really... (sweatdrops)_

_Reviewer responses:_

_Estalio: I'd like to read your time fic. Is it posted anywhere?_

_Nemesis Jedi: I'll check out that deviant art site and see if I can get my plushie there. Thanks! Oh, and I'm not sure if there will be more "deleted and alternate" scenes in any other fics. It depends on if I delete or change anything in them that I think is worth keeping... If I do, and the story goes over well enough, I probably would consider posting them at the end..._

_Shirou Shinjin: Thanks again for posting your fics! They're so great! I'll review as soon as I can, okay? (hugs)_

_sueb262: Thanks so much for the kind words and all the support. I'm glad you liked the fic, and I hope we can chat again soon!_

_Myks: Yes, I'm REALLY going to read your fanfics. heh... I just need to get my internet working, so I don't have to use other people's computers to post and review!_

_Yugata Tenshi: (catches certificate) Thanks... (tries to figure out where to hang certificate on wall...) Heh..._

_Lady Hitokiri Battousai: Well, like I said last chapter, I intend for a prequel and hopefully at least one sequel and a filler for between the sequel and this fic... And there's Shirou's parody. And WolfDaughter mentioned that she might write an Ushiro and Battousai fic... So, there will be more... (I'm actually more excited about what other people write with it... hehe... it's so much fun to read how others perceive stuff from this fic!)_

_Lackwit: Thanks for the great review. I was actually kind of paranoid about letting Ushiro and Nozomi have such large roles for that exact reason. And I was really surprised at how well-received they were. I'm glad you liked them!_

_Kirin'sDaughter: Thanks for being on the Hiko Plushie lookout. As to Sano plushies... I think I've seen some on ebay if you want to check there. They may be under either "sano plushie," "sano plush" or "sano ufo."_

_And to all other reviewers and readers: Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my fiction! I appreciate it! Thanks! (Big hugs to everyone)_

_Dewa mata!_

_SiriusFan13_


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